Senseless Sensibilities

by K. L. O'Keefe

  With a wave of her hand, Evangeline dismissed her mother’s claim. “Nonsense, Mama. You had a poor relationship with Father, so I cannot blame you for being cynical. With the right amount of charm, I know I could capture a man’s complete adoration. They like to think they are powerful, but they’re very simple creatures.”

  “Oh?” Anne raised a dark eyebrow. “And you speak from experience, do you?” She already knew the answer to that question. Her daughter was not as worldly as she believed herself to be.

  Evangeline went on, ignoring her mother’s question. “Every man wants the same three things. I have them all,” she said. “First, he wants a woman who is youthful.”

  “You are definitely young,” her mother agreed.

  “He wants a woman to have a pretty face, fair of complexion. And she should be properly… endowed.” Evangeline looked down at her chest, which was decidedly ample.

  Anne shook her head with disbelief. Evangeline was acting mad. A bulging bosom wasn’t the sort of thing a young lady should speak of.

  “Lastly, but most importantly, a man wants a woman to say whatever pleases him. She should act like a perfect angel at all times.” Evangeline smiled sweetly, as if in practice. “I am going to use these basic principles to woo Lord Penworth.”

  Anne’s needlepoint fell from her lap. “You're what?!”

  “The new Lord Penworth,” Evangeline said, raising her chin oh-so-haughtily. “I will make him love me, and this estate will be ours.”

  “But, Evang-”

  “Do not try to dissuade me, Mother, for I have already made up my mind. I will make him pant after me like a puppy, and then I will marry him. The house of my childhood will be ours forever!” Evangeline clapped her hands together. “Does it not excite you, Mama?”

  “But he is your cousin!”

  “Second cousin.”

  “You don't even know the man!”

  “Even if he is a one-eyed ogre, I do not care. It is a small price to pay for my prolonged happiness.”

  Anne laid a hand across her forehead. Suddenly, she felt very ill. She had to agree with her daughter on one thing: Evangeline was skilled at pretending to be a perfect angel. Until recently, Anne believed her daughter was a perfect angel. Were these her true colors? Carelessness and avarice?

  “If my plan is somehow foiled, or Lord Penworth has an attachment to another woman, I will marry Lord Trevelan,” Evangeline said, referring to her older beau. “He is not so bad, and I refuse to live in the dower house forever.”

  “We have yet to move into the dower house,” her mother brought up.

  “Yes, but… the new Lord Penworth will probably throw us out as soon as he arrives,” Evangeline said, shrugging her slender shoulders. “Do you think he will be handsome, Mama?”

  “I-”

  “Well, whether he is handsome or not, I will tell him he is the handsomest man I have ever seen. And I will pretend to know nothing about history or literature. A man wants a woman who is a bit daft, does he not? Oh, and I will tell him he is good at everything! If he is clumsy, I will tell him how composed he is. If his personality is bland, I will laugh at his jokes. It will go splendidly, Mama! I promise it will!”

  “I apologize if I am not as enthusiastic as you are, dear,” her mother said with a sigh.

  “Why not?”

  “I cannot help but wish you would find someone to love. You would be much happier if you did.” If she sounded fanciful and foolish, Anne did not care. Her daughter was heading down a very bleak road.

  Nevertheless, Evangeline had the audacity to roll her eyes. “I do not care for love,” she said with a yawn, “nor do I believe in it.”

  Chapter Three

  “He’s here, mama! He’s here!” Evangeline exclaimed as she peered out the window. “And he came in a very shabby carriage. Look at it, Mama! I would refuse to ride in such a thing. That will have to change, now that he has father’s money.” The young girl wrinkled her nose. The distasteful expression looked out of place on her pretty, porcelain face.

  “Come away from the window, dear,” said Anne, as if scolding a child.

  “Yes, you’re right.” Evangeline spun around to face her mother. “We mustn’t stand here in the foyer. I mustn’t look too eager. I think we should withdraw to a sitting room and wait for them in there.”

  “Evangeline, I--”

  “Please, Mama. No fashionable lady greets her own guests. That is what butlers are for.” Evangeline went to her mother’s side and tugged her sleeve. “Let us go.”

  “Evangeline, you… you have been acting very silly these last few days, and I am not sure I approve.”

  Like a puppy on a lead, she escorted her mother to the nearest sitting room. “I do not think I am being silly, but if I am, it is merely an expression of my excitement. If you were meeting your future husband, you would be giddy too.” She cast a sidelong glance at her mother, whose prim dress and stern expression promptly changed her mind. “Or not.”

  “What of Lord P-Pen…” Anne caught her lip between her teeth. The former Lord Penworth was her husband. It was strange to refer to someone else by that name. “What about Nicholas? Has he no choice in the matter?”

  “Nicholas?” the daughter shrieked. “Is that his name? Nicholas? Hmph.” Very unladylike, Evangeline flopped down on a nearby settee. “What a dreadfully common name.” With a sigh, she picked up a book and held it on her lap. “But I will pretend to love the name, of course.”

  “My name is very common.”

  “Anne? Well, at least you share your name with a queen,” Evangeline took her mother’s embroidery from the table and held it out to her. “Here, Mama. We must try to look busy. We mustn’t let him think we were idling about the entire day, waiting for his arrival.”

  Anne squared her shoulders. Since when did her daughter have the right to give her orders? One might think she was a maid, not a mother. “Evangeline, I have had quite enough of this!”

  Evangeline reached over and gave her mother’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Mama, I am doing this for you as well. Don’t you want to see me happy?”

  “Of course, dear. I…”

  “Very well. How do I look?” Evangeline asked, winding a tendril of hair around her finger with practiced coquettishness. “Oh, I do wish I had a looking glass!”

  “You look like an angel,” her mother assured her, wondering if it was a bad idea to encourage her daughter’s vanity.

  A few minutes later, the butler appeared at the door. “Pardon the interruption, my lady, but his lordship has arrived. He would like to meet you right away.”

  “Of course, Stevens. Show him in.”

  The butler retreated with a nod.

  Evangeline held her face between her hands in mock horror. “Oh, dear! I did not think I would be so nervous, Mama! What do you think he will think of me? Do you think it will be love at first sight?”

  Anne simply sighed.

  Two minutes later, Stevens reappeared with two other men. The first man, a very tall man, made Evangeline’s heart skip a beat. He was a fine figure of a man, with the handsomest face she had ever seen. She would have liked to march over for a closer look, but she remained seated, admiring him from afar.

  “Good afternoon, ladies,” the gentleman spoke as he stepped into the room. “I have been eager to make your acquaintance.” His eyes fell on the older woman, who was actually much younger than he had imagined. “You must be Lady Penworth?”

  Setting aside the embroidery, Anne held out a hand. “You are right,” she said with a smile. The expression, however, did not meet her eyes. He saw sadness in them.

  Nicholas took her hand and kissed it. “My condolences for your husband, ma’am. You must be very sad indeed. I am sure you do not wish to entertain visitors.”

  In the corner of her eye, Anne saw her daughter’s lips pucker. Evangeline wanted to be the center of attention, but he hadn’t acknowledged her yet. “Nonsense. This is your house, my lord. We are
the guests, and we will move to the dower house shortly.”

  “No, please. I would like you to stay,” Nicholas insisted. “Penworth Park is a beautiful place, and I would like to spend time with the person who knows it best.”

  Evangeline, who had yet to be noticed by the new lord, caught the attention of the man at his side. He grinned at her. Was he amused by the expression of distaste on her face? The cad! Evangeline did not like his sleepy eyes and unkempt hair. Thank goodness Lord Penworth was the handsome one!

  As if summoned by her thoughts, Lord Penworth asked, “And you must be Lady Evangeline?” Before she could speak, he took her hand and kissed it. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

  Evangeline found herself blushing under his dark blue gaze. What a silly girl she was! Normally, she did not balk at the sight of a handsome face. But this was, after all, her future husband. No one could fault a bit of shyness on her part. “Yes, my lord. I am Evangeline Fremont.” Now that he stood close to her, she could see just how handsome he was. She had a particular fondness for his long, dark eyelashes. “May I ask you a question?”

  “Of course, my lady.”

  “What did my mother say about me? In her letter?” A knot curled in Evangeline’s stomach. If her mother mentioned anything about her amorous intentions, Evangeline would be cross. To say the least.

  Anne spoke up, coming to his lordship’s aid. “I barely mentioned you, Evangeline. The letter was so short.”

  The other man, the one with the unkempt hair, decided it was time to speak. As if anyone asked him to! “The letter mentioned your age. I understand you are seventeen?” he asked.

  She wrinkled her nose at him. “I am nearly eighteen, sir.”

  Nicholas realized his friend was due for an introduction. “The man who accompanies me is Jonathan Winters. My valet.”

  Evangeline almost giggled. Why did this man, this valet, think he could judge her? Ever since he stepped into the room, he’d been scrutinizing her most severely. And he looked so pompous, holding one arm behind his back the entire time. Evangeline decided to bring him down a peg or two. “Do you take your valet with you everywhere, my lord? Even when you are in polite company?”

  Anne’s eyes widened at Evangeline’s impetuousness. Impolite company would have been a more accurate assessment. Were she not such a meek woman, Anne would have chided her daughter right then and there.

  “I know it is uncommon, but Jonathan is more than a valet to me,” Nicholas confessed. “He is one of my closest friends.”

  “Really?” The crease did not leave Evangeline’s nose. The wrinkle hovered between her eyes, marring an otherwise flawless face, like a crack in a statue of a goddess.

  “Truly.”

  “Thank you, sir,” uttered the shabby man at his lordship’s side. Oh, he was dressed nicely enough—for a lowly valet. However, anyone was doomed to pale in comparison to the shockingly handsome Lord Penworth.

  Lord Penworth. That used to be her father’s name. For the first time, Evangeline almost missed him.

  “Once again, I am sorry for your loss,” said Nicholas, as if reading her mind.

  Though she had just been thinking about her deceased sire, it took Evangeline a moment to realize what Nicholas was saying. “Oh. My father? Yes, of course…”

  Nicholas took a step backward. “Well, ladies, it was a pleasure to meet you both.” His eyes fell on Anne, holding her gaze a bit longer than necessary. “Unless you are otherwise engaged, I would like you to join us for dinner.”

  “We would be delighted,” Anne replied.

  “We would be delighted,” Evangeline seconded, more emphatically than her mother.

  “Wonderful. I will see you both later, then.”

  Evangeline sat up. She looked like a kitten, mistaking itself for a lion, ready to pounce. “Will there be another guest? You made it sound as though someone else will be coming to dinner.” She hoped it wasn’t a female.

  “Oh, I beg your pardon. Jonathan will be joining us. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Evangeline snorted.

  And Jonathan grinned.

  Chapter Four

  A few minutes before dinner, Evangeline was demonstrating her usual behavior. In her case, usual behavior meant disrupting her mother’s peace and acting in a way that was most unbecoming.

  “Mama, do you think he is handsome?” she mused, flashing a grin that could rival the valet’s.

  “Who, dear?”

  “What do you mean, who?” Evangeline rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I have ever met a man more handsome than the new Lord Penworth. Unless you are blind, I am sure you know who I am talking about.”

  “Evangeline,” her mother said with a sigh, “why must you sound so crass? If you always speak in such an insensitive way, I don’t think you will make a very good impression on him.”

  She chose to ignore her mother’s evaluation. “I decided to wear my pink gown to dinner. Do you think he will like it?”

  “He’ll be charmed, I’m sure.”

  “I could not bring myself to wear black, as it’s not very flattering. Should I have worn a white gown instead? I think white makes me look angelic.”

  “Hmm.” Her mother’s murmured response was less than heartfelt.

  “Oh well. The pink will have to do.” Evangeline admired herself in the looking glass, making sure each tendril of hair was in its perfect place. “Now that we are on the topic of dinner, do you find something a bit… odd?”

  Lady Penworth knew exactly what her daughter was referring to. “You mean the valet joining us for supper? I confess, it is odd. But his lordship calls the man a friend, so I see no reason to protest.”

  “Friend or not, he is still a valet. The fact that he would invite him to dinner is almost insulting!” Evangeline exclaimed. “He should know better than to expose a lady to the company of a manservant. When I marry him, I will have to put an end to this valet nonsense.”

  Anne rose from her chair, having heard enough of her daughter’s whiny prattle. “Come, dear. We should make our way to the dining room.”

  Arm-in-arm, the mother and daughter headed down the hall. When they arrived at their destination, the two men were already waiting for them. Nicholas and Jonathan, almost simultaneously, rose from their seats as soon as the ladies entered the room. Both men pulled out chairs for the ladies.

  Evangeline could have throttled her mama when she chose to sit with Lord Penworth. That meant, of course, Evangeline had to sit with the valet. She would have rather sat with a mud-covered bear in a shiny king’s hat, but it seemed she had little choice in the matter.

  “What an excellent show,” she whispered to Jonathan, who pushed in her chair. “One might think you were a real gentleman.”

  “And what a lovely dress,” the valet complimented her, raking his eyes over her immaculate form. “If it wasn’t for your tart tongue, one might think you were a true lady.”

  Evangeline gasped. Her mouth fell open. She was in such shock, she missed the compliment Lord Penworth paid her mother.

  “You look very beautiful, my lady. You are a picture of grace.”

  “How dare you speak to me like that!?” Evangeline hissed at the valet, keeping her voice low. “You have no right! I should tell his lordship about your thoughtless behavior. At the very least, he should have you removed from this room. I’ve never heard of sharing a table with a valet!”

  “You look lovely as well, Lady Evangeline,” said Nicholas. If he overheard her exchange with the valet, his face showed no indication. “When I read your mother’s letter, I never imagined such a lovely pair.”

  “A pair of what?” Evangeline asked, raising an eyebrow. “A pair of eyes?”

  Nicholas chuckled. “No, that’s not what I meant. Well… you have lovely eyes, of course, but I was referring to the fact that both mother and daughter are very blessed when it comes to beauty.”

  “You are very kind, Lord Penworth,” said Anne. “Where my looks are co
ncerned, it must be flattery, for I have none of my daughter’s youth and beauty.”

  “Forgive me for saying so, but you are mistaken, my lady. You are every bit as beautiful as your daughter,” Nicholas said. His comment made Evangeline pout. “As for youth, I have to admit that I was surprised when I first laid eyes on you. I was expecting someone much older.”

  “Really?” Anne asked.

  Evangeline glared at her mama, who was blushing like a silly schoolgirl.

  “Well,” the older woman continued, “I can understand why you might have thought that. My husband, your great uncle, was much older than I was.”

  “I gathered as much,” Nicholas said. “Speaking of which, I thought it might be difficult for you to call me Lord Penworth. If you’d rather, you may call me Nicholas.”

  “Nicholas? Yes, I’d like that very much,” Anne said with a smile. “And you should call me Anne.”

  Evangeline sat up in her chair, arms crossed. “Does that mean I should call you Nicholas as well? I don’t see why I shouldn’t, if my mother is on such familiar terms with you.”

  Nicholas’ gaze settled on the younger woman. He hadn’t paid much attention to her, as it was almost difficult to look at her. With her dark hair, heart-shaped face and alabaster skin, the girl was likely the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. But she was so young, and she was his cousin no less! If anything, he felt inclined to protect the girl, from others as well as himself. “Well, I suppose that would be alright.”

  Angered that he was paying more attention to her mother, Evangeline wagged her drinking glass in front of the valet. “Valet,” she said, speaking to him like a common servant, not a dinner guest. “Pour me a drink.”

  Jonathan lifted his right arm, pretending to reach for a bottle of wine. For the first time, he revealed the missing hand to the shocked girl at his side. “Oh yes. I nearly forgot,” he said, grinning wickedly. “I can’t use that hand, can I?”