Playing Dirty
Page 30
The name came out of nowhere. Another agent, or whatever he called them. She didn’t know. “What?”
“My real name is Adam Ford.” He put the bag down on the stack of magazines on her coffee table. “Other than my parents, of course, and a few people at the office and a few more at the CIA, you’re the only one who knows.”
She turned the name over in her mind and decided it fit. But a rush of confusion came right behind. “Should you be telling me this?”
“No, but I trust you.”
Her body clenched and her heartbeat sped up. It was as if her mind and her heart engaged in an epic battle and just seeing him tipped the scales.
She had to shut it down. She was too raw and too exposed. “Don’t do this. Not now.”
“Missouri.” He slipped his hands into his back pockets.
“What?”
“I’m from Missouri, not Montana.”
“I don’t care.” But she did. Every morsel went to that part of her brain that was desperate to know more about him. To hold onto him even though he’d bruised and battered her beyond recognition.
“My parents are married, have been forever. That was all true.” He shot her a crooked smile. “They’re going to love you.”
Oh, no, no, no. “How dare you tell me this now?”
He shrugged. “I want you to know.”
He stood there saying all the things she wanted to hear, but it was tainted by his deception. “They are never going to meet me.”
“University of Virginia.”
He just kept spitting out facts as if he’d stored them up to use them now. “Your school?”
“I went into the CIA right after. Have been all over the world and seen some fucking awful things.”
“Like the toxin.”
“Much worse.”
“How is that possible?” More information she shouldn’t know. More things that shouldn’t matter, but the more he said, the more her heart opened back up to him again.
She leaned the front of her thighs against the back of the couch because she needed something to hold her up. Maybe it would work as a barrier between them and help to hold onto her anger.
But that got harder each day. Seeing the tape Tasha showed her started that healing. Clearing her mind and remembering his face when he saw Trent grab her, and then Pearce grab her. There was no way Ford could fake that concern.
“I do what I do because I believe I can make a difference. That there are shitty people out there and they have to be stopped using whatever means are necessary. That stuff Pearce said? All garbage.” Ford’s eyes darkened and anger showed on his face but he quickly pushed it out again. “It’s not a perfect job by any means, and I’ve wanted to walk away more than once, but I do believe in what I do, especially in the group I’m with now.”
“Even if it means setting up a line of innocent women and pretending you like them.” She said it, but there was no heat behind the words.
When she’d told him she got it, she wasn’t lying. Seeing the team in action and knowing what could have happened, she could only respect the danger they threw themselves into. But that didn’t mean she understood his willingness to hurt her.
They stood there, staring at each other in some weird standoff. She was about to hand him the bag of food and show him he door.
“Love.”
He didn’t say anything else and she refused to hope. She would not get sucked back down a second time.
She held up a hand and shook her head. “Stop.”
“With you it wasn’t pretend. From the beginning I knew I was in trouble.” He moved then, walking until he could turn her and stand directly in front of her. Leaning in until his nose touched her hair.
“I said stop.” But she didn’t push him away or kick him out. She was stuck there, reeled in and pathetically hopeful.
His hands brushed up and down her arms. “I ignored the rules and my training.”
She should pull back. Walk away. Stop and eat the Chinese food—something. Instead she dove in. “Tasha says you kept West from killing Trent at the museum out of respect for me.”
Ford kissed the tip of her nose. “Love, but yes.”
A shiver raced through Shay’s body. Actually shook her then shook her again. “West says you’ve been a mess.”
“That’s nicer than how he says it to me, but yes to that as well.” Ford kissed the area where her bandage had been. “Did you mean it?”
The closeness, the warmth of his body, that soothing voice . . . it all lured her in. She loved this man. Right or wrong, stupid or not, she loved him. “What?”
“When you said you loved me?”
She shook her head, refusing to give him the final bit of satisfaction. “Please don’t—”
His hands rested under her elbows and brought her closer. “I screwed up. I should have come clean and gotten off the assignment. Hell, I probably should have left you alone, but I couldn’t.”
“How many times have you given this speech at the end of a job?” She would say anything to put the brakes on. This was headed for heartache for her, and she didn’t know what to do to make it stop.
“Never.”
Oh, God. “Ford . . . Adam . . .”
His hand went to her hair and he brushed his fingers through it. “Call me Ford.”
“My life is pretty simple, or I thought it was.” Hard to keep up that illusion what with the dangerous toxins and armed gunmen roaming around.
He stepped back, not breaking contact but far enough that she didn’t have to look up to see him. “I’ll leave Alliance for you. That’s the group I work with.”
Her brain shut down. Every argument against trusting him screeched to a halt inside her. “You just said—”
“You want me to be a handyman or learn a skill, I will. I don’t know shit about computers, but I’ll take courses.” There was nothing blank about his expression this time. Worry played in his eyes and on the lines on his face. “I will be whatever you need me to be, just give me another chance.”
This could be another ruse. A way to win her over . . . but he didn’t have to anymore. That thought hit her and she couldn’t let it go. He could walk away now and go to another job. But he was there, in her house, begging.
“Ford.”
“I love you. All of you, exactly how you are and for who you are.” He gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “I love how you make me feel and who I am when I’m with you.”
The last of her resistance broke. The wall she’d tried to erect against him shattered and crashed. “You’re killing me.”
“Mostly, I love you more than anything else in my life or anyone I’ve ever known, so I will walk away from my job and never regret it. If that’s what you need, I’ll give it to you.”
She had to swallow back the lump in her throat. This time, a good one, one filled with hope and love and possibility. “And for all those people who won’t get help because you’ve left the field?”
“There are other operatives.” He pulled her in close again and his palm cupped her cheek. “I have spent my life rescuing. You don’t need that from me. You’re strong enough to stand in a room and accept death if that means saving everyone else. Damn bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I thought I was going to throw up.” He should know that because it was true.
“See, Shay, the reality is I’m the one who needs you.”
That hope flamed to full life. She wanted to hold back but the words spilled out. “I love you.”
He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them some of the darkness had cleared. “Say it again.”
“I am angry and want to punch you and know we’ll have to replay every conversation so you can tell me the truth this time around.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “But I do love you.”
/> He rested his forehead against hers. “Thank God.”
“And no.”
His head shot back. “What?”
“You don’t have to leave Alliance.”
“I will.”
She knew he meant it and that was enough. “I’ve seen you in action. It’s where you belong.”
“I won’t lie to you again, but there will be things I can’t say.”
“I get that.”
He winced. “Danger.”
“Apparently, being the manager of this complex is pretty dangerous.”
He finally smiled. A real smile, big and wide and sexy as hell. “So are museums.”
She felt his erection press against her and saw the way his expression went from happy to something heated and wanting. She put a hand on his chest to let him know it would not all be easy. “We have a lot of work to do.”
“Is it too much to hope you’re talking about the building’s plumbing?”
Nice try. “Yes.”
He winked at her. “It doesn’t matter. I’m in. No matter how long it takes to rebuild the trust. I’ll be here.”
With just a few words he’d said exactly what she needed to hear. Somehow it would be okay. They would rebuild and put the trust back together. She’d keep on loving him and he’d keep being the guy he was. “I want you here, with me.”
“And I hope you mean here, since I don’t have a place to live.”
It was too much, too fast, but still she wanted it. “You’re in luck. I know about this building.”
He kissed her then. It was a kiss filled with promise and a touch of regret that deepened the longer it went on. Nothing tame or modest. His mouth covered her’s and his hands toured her back until heat flushed through her.
When he lifted his head, all that intensity she loved was back in full force. He nibbled on her bottom lip. “Start by showing me the bedroom.”
“That’s playing dirty.” But she loved it.
He dropped another kiss on her mouth, this one short but no less loving. “I will play however you want.”
And she believed he would keep that promise. “Show me.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
HELENKAY DIMON spent the years before becoming a romance author as a . . . divorce attorney. Not the usual transition, she knows. Good news is she now writes full time and is much happier. She has sold over thirty novels, novellas, and shorts to numerous publishers. Her nationally bestselling and award-winning books have been showcased in many venues, and her books have twice been named “Red-Hot Reads” and excerpted in Cosmopolitan magazine. But if you ask her, she’ll tell you the best part of the job is never having to wear pantyhose again. You can learn more at her website:
www.helenkaydimon.com.
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COPYRIGHT
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
PLAYING DIRTY. Copyright © 2015 by HelenKay Dimon. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub Edition FEBRUARY 2015 ISBN: 9780062330062
Print Edition ISBN: 9780062330055
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