What Breaks a Man?: Sensible Hearts Part 2

by H. Q. Frost

  It's on the outskirts of the city my mom lives in and it's nothing great, but it's big enough and it's out of my mom's basement.

  DOM SESTAK: I'm in. When can I move in?

  CJ: Fuck ya dude. Today if you want.

  DOM SESTAK: I'll hit you up later

  Telling my mom about this isn't going to go over that well. I don't want to break her heart, but she couldn't have really expected me to live in her house that long.

  I'm running a shipment for Rory today and that means cash as soon as it's done, so I can give that to Tony when I break it to them I'm leaving.

  After the first delivery with CJ, I've been granted to come solo. So like the past four times I made a delivery, I'm held hostage until they pat me down and go through the shipment. I still have to service their fucking lawn and can't move from this wall until someone checks the damn truck. Almost two hours later because the incompetence at this mansion is strong tonight, I'm allowed to get to work on the landscape and I'm so bored I'm exhausted.

  DOM: You or the boys need anything?

  IESHA: We're ok.

  DOM: Working late but I'll be by in a few days

  It's dark by the time I finish and if one of those disease-carrying mosquitos is in Seattle, I have the disease. I'm pretty sure every mosquito in Seattle feasted on me tonight.

  Ten o'clock and I'm walking through the front door of my mom's dark, quiet house because I don't have a back door key. I was hoping I could tell them this evening that I'm moving, but it can wait another day.

  Being as quiet as possible, I start to untie my boots before tracking shit on the carpet. A loud noise coming from down the hall makes me perk up.

  "Mom?" I question and glance around the dark living room. "Button?" I quietly whistle for the dog but don't hear its collar jingle.

  "Say it, you bitch!" a male's voice that sounds like Tony screams.

  My body freezes and I wait.

  "Stop!" My mom's voice carries loudly. "Don't! Stop, Tony!"

  "Mom!" I scream and bolt down the hall, knocking over the curio cabinet because I took the corner too sharp, but I'm going to fucking kill him! "Mom!" As I burst through the door, I practically take it off the hinges and what's beyond the threshold is my worst fucking nightmare. "Mom! Jesus Christ!" I scream and shield my eyes, stumbling out of the room.

  "Dominic! What the hell are you doing?" my mom shrieks.

  "Oh god," I groan fumbling down the hall because I'm afraid to open my eyes. "Aww god," I whimper.

  "What was that crash?" she yells coming down the hall behind me and I glance back.

  "Put on clothes, mom!"

  "I'm in my nightgown!" she snaps back.

  "Oh my god. Fuck, fuck. I'll clean that up." I point to the mess of the curio cabinet and keep going for the basement. "I just need a minute. God."

  Taking the stairs by threes, I rush to the bedroom and close the door, immediately starting to pack. I'm out of here tonight. Shit happens, but I would have been okay going my whole life never seeing that.

  There's no avoiding facing my mom. As much as I don't want to, but fuck, I hope Tony stays in the bedroom. I can't face him.

  No such luck. He's helping her clean the curio cabinet mess and I almost head for the basement again, but there's no getting around this so I clear my throat.

  "I'll pay for whatever I can," I say and my mom stands, walking toward me like she wants to grab me but I take a step back.

  I don't know if she washed those hands!

  "Dom, why the hell would you burst in like that?"

  "You were screaming like you needed help!" I shout in shock she's questioning me.

  "Role play, Dom," Tony mumbles and I grimace.

  "Fuck. Don't." I gag and place my hand on the wall for support.

  My mom is staring at me like she's disappointed in me!

  "Mom! You can't be pissed at me! What the fuck do you think I'm going to do if I hear you screaming in distress! You used to be beat to a fucking pulp!"

  "Dom, watch your mouth talking to your mother," Tony says but I ignore him.

  "Okay, okay." She pats my chest in a pacifying manner. "We thought you were out for the night."

  "So I'm moving out," I say and carefully kneel to help clean up the glass. "And I'll pay for this stuff somehow." I mumble and pull a picture of me and Jeff from the mess.

  He would make fun of me for weeks for this if he were around to find out what I walked in on. I smirk thinking about his annoying but contagious laugh and set the picture on the table. We all silently fish out what's worth saving.

  My mom can't stop yawning and Tony tells her to go to bed which will leave us alone together and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I want to punch the guy in the face for having sex with my mom, I want to cut off his dick for me having to witness it. My mom kisses my head and I grimace but she doesn't notice.

  "Night," I mutter, wanting to apologize too, but I've been talking too much as it is.

  "Dom—"

  "No. Nope. Just don't, Tony," I warn but he puts his hand out.

  "Hear me out. I would never hurt your mom."

  "Good enough. And if I ever find out you do, I'll fucking kill you."

  He chuckles. "I can't be upset about that. We role play like that during sex…"

  "Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop," I continuously repeat but he keeps talking.

  "…because it helps your mom cope with what she needs. She was addicted to abuse."

  "Please stop!" I'm literally begging him and every time I move to stand, glass jabs into my knees.

  I'm in fucking hell. Hearing about your mom's sex life while surrounded by shards of glass that hold you hostage is fucking hell!

  "I just want you to understand that I don't want to get rough with your mother, even in the bedroom, but I'm going to help her overcome that addiction in any way I can."

  "Fuuuuck. Please for the love of everything holy, just stop! I'm dying here, man. Do you see me dying?" I show him my nicked hands trickling blood. "Please stop before I'm forced to shove a shard through an artery. Do you understand I'd rather die than hear about my mom's sexual needs? Fuck! Haven't I been tortured enough from what I saw?"

  "You burst through that door so fast, we didn't have time to shield ourselves or move out of position."

  "Fuck, man!" I scream and get to my feet. "Shit, just… just send me a cleaning bill or something." I point to all the glass I'm refusing to help clean because I need out of here.

  "Don't worry about the glass or… irreplaceable items." He clears his throat. "Go clear your head."

  "Years of therapy will never help me unsee that," I mumble as I grab my backpack and walk out the front door.

  I feel like a dick, but fuck it.

  I need to see a naked woman that's not my mom, and I need to fuck her. That's the only thing that'll get this horrible image out of my head. The only problem with that is I don't know any women I can just call up, so I call CJ hoping he does.

  "Hey, man," he answers sounding like he was asleep.

  "Shit, you sleeping? I'm sorry, dude, but could I possibly move in tonight. Right now?"

  "Uh, yeah. Sure. You need a ride?"

  "I, uh." I chuckle. "I actually need a drink, so I'll just head over after the bar."

  "Shit, I'm down. You up for company?"

  "Yeah. Sounds good."

  A few shots and five beers later, I've got a chatty, annoying girl sitting in my lap while her giggly friend rubs up against CJ every chance she gets. Even though he's trying to avoid her advances, she doesn't give up.

  "I'm going to the bathroom," the blonde in my lap whispers in my ear before her tongue rims it, sending the invitation.

  After she walks away, I finish my beer before heading toward the back of the bar and wait by the doorway of the women's bathroom. When she steps out I don't waste time. The last thing I need is her to ruin this by talking, so I start kissing her. I pin her to the wall and when my hands rest on her hips, I stop. I wasn't
expecting this hesitation, but my hands on this girl have my heart racing in ways that aren't linked to my dick. Something doesn't feel right and this isn't the time for second thoughts as her hand starts to rub against me. The blood's slowly draining from my cock back into my body and I'm going limp.

  "Frisky boy," she moans and her voice grates on my eardrums.

  I reach for her breasts and my fingers sink into foam where tits should be and I finally pull back.

  It's not her.

  "What the hell are you doing?" she snaps at me as I start to stumble away.

  "Shit." I fumble my way to the door.

  I'll wait by CJ's car until he comes out.

  ~~*~~

  When Iesha opens the door, both boys are streaking around the living room screaming like warriors and I break into laughter.

  "Jamari, Zander! Get dressed!" she snaps. "Oh, lord. I'm sorry."

  "It's cool." I'm trying not to laugh but this shit is hilarious. "Hey, I got presents, get dressed," I try to coerce and it gets their attention. "You have to get dressed." I squat and start unzipping my backpack, trying to distract myself from encouraging their humorous antics.

  "Damn," Iesha whispers when minutes later they're kneeling in front of me dressed.

  "Presents." I smirk up at her.

  "They need a daddy," she mumbles wandering to the kitchen and I freeze briefly before looking at the curious boys who are trying to see into my backpack.

  Moving on, I pull the toys out and they're acting like it's Christmas, making my heart ache even more for these kids. Seeing how happy they are eases the tension I started to feel by Iesha's 'daddy' comment and I hang around to play for a little while. Noticing their yawns but determination to keep playing, I get up from the floor.

  "Bed time." I'm not their daddy and I need to stop acting like it before they get it in their head that I'm Rupe's replacement.

  Huffing, Iesha sits on the couch after getting them to sleep. "Thanks for coming by tonight. They've been in tantrums all day. I'm losing my damn mind. Every time I hear a noise, I think it's Andre. He hasn't contacted me since that day but I know he'll be back."

  "Move, Iesha." I place my hand on her shoulder and she drops her head. "I'll help you find a place."

  "You gotta stop." She looks up at me. "Your givin' them boys the wrong idea and… I'm trying not to… ya know."

  "What?"

  "I'm feelin' things for you I shouldn't be. You're here almost every day. You put my boys down for bed. We never sat down for a supper meal before you came along, and now we're all eatin' like we're family a few days a week."

  Slowly releasing my exhale, I try to scoot away without making it obvious. I feel for those kids and grew to love them in a short few weeks, realizing it makes me happy to think about their future. I care about Iesha, but not in this way. I mean, I guess a man can learn. If it's for the good of her family.

  Nyla pops in my head when I open my mouth to tell Iesha we can try and do this right. I saw the woman at the grocery store for less than five minutes and my thoughts have been on her since, and that was eleven days ago. She hasn't contacted me and there's a reason for that. It doesn't mean I'll ever forget about her though.

  "What would Rupe say?" I quietly chuckle because I know what he'd say, and do, but that's if he were alive.

  Is this what he'd want?

  "He'd be happy a good man is helping his boys. You're a good man." She stands and grabs her phone. "I'll text Brie to see if she can drive you."

  "I'll… uh, I'll stay," I tell her and when she looks at me, I quickly say, "If that's okay? Just on the couch." My nervous reaction has me looking back at the worn out furniture.

  "You're welcome to stay," she quietly says, sounding just as confused as I am.

  "You have a movie? You want to watch a movie? With me." I scratch at my head, fidgeting with nerves because this isn't what I want.

  "We don't gotta do this."

  "What? Watch a movie together?" I walk over to the TV and start skimming the small stack of DVDs, wishing I was anywhere but here right now.

  I get myself in these situations, but this one isn't the worst I could endure. If circumstances were different. If we would have met differently. If I weren't still in love with my ex. Iesha is a woman I could be happy with, and maybe I owe it to myself to see if there's a possibility of that.

  After popping in something random, I sit on the couch and stretch my arm along the back before looking at her as she stares at me.

  "You want some of that beer Brie left the other day?"

  This is fucking stupid. She's nervous. I'm forcing shit. What are we doing?

  "No. Sit down." I look next to me, ready to push this to the max to see if we can do this.

  She likes me because I've been giving her money. I've been paying attention to her boys. Because I offer her protection. She doesn't know shit about me and I don't think she'd give a damn either way as long as I'm looking out for her. Maybe that's what I need.

  "Hey." When she sits, I reach out and turn her head to look at me. "I'm gonna be here for you and the boys no matter what, okay?"

  Her response is to nod and the terror on her face is making her look like a different woman. I don't know if I should put her out of her misery, or me out of mine, so I just lean in. She meets me half way and in seconds she's shifting to straddle my lap. Her hips are rocking to rub against me and my cock is fighting to do the right thing, but it all feels wrong. But if I don't push through this, I don't think I'll ever get past it with any woman. I grab the back of her neck and slide my hand to her ass to flip her and get her under me.

  "Wait." She pushes me back and stares up at me a minute. "I'm not ready."

  Thank fuck.

  ~~*~~

  "How was work today?" My mom smiles at me across the table and I nod.

  It was hard sitting down with them after what I saw, but she's my mother and I need to bury that deep in the pits of hell within me. It hasn't been possible yet, but at least they're acting normal.

  "Fine. I've got some rent money for when I was staying here." I look at Tony.

  "Don't worry about it, Dom." He waves his fork at me. "Work on saving and paying your own rent."

  "I'd feel better giving you guys some money. I had money to give you the other night but… yeah."

  "Dom, have you talked to Leo since him and Claire came to see you?" my mom quickly changes the subject.

  Keeping my eyes on my plate, I shake my head no. "Been too busy with work." And not really interested in that part of my past anymore.

  "That's too bad. Leo's a nice guy," she says setting her napkin on the table as the house phone rings. "Excuse me."

  The silence between me and Tony makes my thoughts go to Iesha. She went to bed after denying me, and I couldn't have been more relieved, but now she's on my mind. Only problem is it's not for the right reasons. I'm worried if I don't give this a try with her that she won't let me see the boys. How fucked up is it that this feels like we're getting a divorce and she'll keep the kids from me? She's my fucking friend for Christ sake. And those aren't my damn kids! I'm grasping at straws here, trying to get the life I wanted for myself.

  "Meat's dry tonight," Tony bitches and I jerk out of my insane thoughts to look at him, about to go off about his ungrateful comment but then he says, "I left it in too long, I guess. I shoulda let your mom cook it." He looks up at me and smiles. "I try to cook, to give her that break, but I just fuck it up every time."

  "I like it. It's a hell of a lot better than what I was eating the past few years," I mutter and he quietly chuckles.

  "You're a good kid, Dom. You'll never eat that shit again." I inwardly snicker and keep my eyes on my plate until he says, "When are you ready to get back under the hood of the Camaro? You've been too busy with work to visit us."

  With a chuckle I tell him, "Not work. I've been spending time with a friend's boys. They lost their dad and I've been trying to help the family out."

  "You'
re a good kid, Dom," he repeats himself with a nod.

  "But I haven't given up on the Camaro. We can hit it tonight."

  "Cool. Let's hit it. Right after dinner."

  I withhold my laughter, not to burst his bubble. When my mom sits back down I glance at her and see the morose on her face, immediately putting my fork down.

  "Mom?" The look on her face is scaring me.

  "That was Father Bill," she says and I glance at Tony wondering who the hell Father Bill is.

  "Who?"

  "The priest at Holy Name. After you went away, me and Tony started attending mass back by the old house. We ended up switching parishes," she goes on but I'm losing interest because I know where this story is going. I'm sure one of their friends has died and I don't know these people. As I shove the last bite of food into my mouth she says, "Maleek Wood passed away."

  My inhale sucks a chunk of meat into my windpipe and I start hacking, trying not to choke to death.

  "Dom! Are you okay?" My mom's at my side, patting me on the back while Tony's telling her to stop before I actually choke.

  I drink my glass of water and give it a few minutes to ease the scratches in my throat.

  "He attended your church?"

  "Yes. Are you okay?" she asks, still rubbing on my back.

  "I'm fine, mom. Sit down." I clear my throat a few times. "Food went down the wrong pipe."

  "Would you like more water?" She takes my cup but I stop her.

  "No. Mom, what happened to Mr. Wood?" I rub my throat, not only from choking but discomfort as we talk about Nyla's family.

  "He suffered a heart attack. The funeral is this weekend." Her blue eyes are locked on me as she sits and I know she wants me to say I'll be there.

  "He wasn't even that old," I mumble.

  "He must have not been in the best health. We'll be going to the funeral Saturday if you'd like to ride with us. I think you should go and pay your respect, Dom."

  "Yeah, mom." I grumble and stand, taking my plate to the sink before heading to the garage.

  When Tony joins me, he seems like he wants to talk but I make it known I'm not interested by turning up the radio. There's not much to talk about. Maleek Wood dying is almost as nauseating as preparing myself to see Nyla this weekend. I guess that might explain why she never gave me a call. Or maybe it was the stick figure family on the back of Brie's car I was driving. Or maybe it's she's fucking married. Whatever the case, facing her after her father's passing is going to be heartbreaking.