Watch Me Burn

by Nikki Drost

  “Hey guys, do you smell that?” Cass sniffs the air while slowly circling the room. “Something smells like absolute bullshit.”

  Christ, when did Cass become such a smart-ass? I open my mouth to answer, but Lincoln quickly cuts off my reply.

  “Dude, don’t bother. We all know you and Goldilocks spent last weekend bumpin’ uglies and from the sounds that were coming from your bedroom I’d say you’ve claimed her at least ten times over.” Lincoln smirks.

  “Bumpin’ uglies? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” I try to make light of the situation, but I know damn well my brother’s aren’t going to let up until they get some answers.

  “What’s the hold up? You like her, she likes you, and from what everyone has said, you two are compatible between the sheets. Just put a ring on her finger and be done with it, brother,” Adam says as he lines up his shot while keeping a watchful eye on his new bride.

  Christ, if it was only that simple I would have just done it weeks ago. Besides, the foolish woman doesn’t even want to be seen with me much less marry me.

  I can feel the weight of Micah’s stare bearing down on me and the sensation is unsettling. I’ve never been able to hide anything from him, which to be truthful is a real pain in the ass.

  “This behavior you’re exhibiting isn’t like you, James. You have always been the type of male to react without hesitation. So why start now? Wipe the doubt from your mind and claim your mate.”

  Jesus, I need to put an end to this madness before they go behind my back and do something stupid like invite Kelsey to move in with us.

  For a split second, I imagine what it would be like to have Kelsey invade my personal space. I can see it now. Her girly shit would clutter up the counter space in my bathroom. Her lacy bras and skimpy panties would be tossed all over my bedroom floor. I’d probably lose more than half the space in my walk in closet to her designer clothing, not to mention the spare room I’d have to build just for her damn shoe collection. The thought of waking up next to her every morning brings a smile to my face. Shit, I kinda like the idea, but there is no way in hell I’m telling them that. I think I’ll rattle their cages instead.

  “What’s happened to all of you? You do know we’re supposed to be discussing business not holding a damn group therapy session. Christ, ever since Andy moved in, you guys have become all touchy feely. It’s almost like she’s sucking the testosterone from the entire pack.”

  I don’t really mean that, I’ve actually enjoyed having Andy around. She’s fun, sweet and has a twisted sense of humor.

  “Well, at least you aren’t denying that Kelsey’s your mate anymore, that’s a start.”

  Shit, it figures Micah would notice that slip up.

  “If your reluctance has anything to do with fear of being rejected then you are worrying for nothing. You have already won half the battle. Unlike my situation with Andy, Kelsey knows who and what you are and she has obviously accepted it. She will choose you, James, you have to believe that.”

  I take a swig of whiskey and lean back in my chair. Adam may mean well, but our situations are totally different. He never had to compete with one of Andy’s exes for her affection. Hell, by the time that asshole FBI Agent showed up, Andy had already been madly in love with my best friend. Nothing, not even death could tear those two apart.

  “Did it ever occur to any of you that maybe I don’t deserve to be happy? Or that maybe she’d be better off with someone else? Christ, my childhood was so fucked up that parts of me are still damaged. Honestly, what do I have to offer Kelsey other than mind-blowing sex? Sure, it’s fine for now, but what happens when she wants a house with the white picket fence and two point five kids? I’m not capable of giving her that kind of life.”

  And now the truth is out. Even if I managed to change her mind about us she will eventually want those things, all women do. I can give her monogamy, spoil her with material things, I can give her anything her heart desires, but kids? Nope, that’s never going to happen.

  Adam tosses his pool stick on top of the table and begins to pace the floor. “Jesus, James, you are not fucking broken and you are nothing like your father, do you hear me? What happened to you was horrible, but that was a long time ago, don’t let your past fuck with your future.”

  God, I so don’t want to talk about this, I hate all this hand holding shit. If I don’t get outta here soon, the next thing I know we’ll be sitting around a campfire singing Kumbaya.

  “Are you done lecturing me? It’s not up to you or anyone else what does or doesn’t happen between me and Kelsey so just drop it. All of you.”

  With that said, I turn my back on my brother’s and head in Kelsey’s direction. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Gia giving me a sly smile. Crap I’m going to have to deal with her at some point.

  “All you need to do is use some warming lube and apply some pressure to that area and voila, your man will be putty in your hands,” Kelsey boasts with confidence.

  Andy looks toward Finn for conformation. “She’s right Darlin’ it’ll blow his mind.”

  “Giving out free sex advice, princess?”

  Both women gasp and turn in my direction, Finn grabs a nearby glass and begins to meticulously clean it. If they were discussing anyone else besides my best friend, I’d ask for details, but I have a feeling I really don’t want to know, it’s not like I need that image in my head.

  “Jesus, Jamie, you scared that crap out of me. Someone really should put a bell on you.”

  I snort at Kelsey’s comment. “I think it’s time we put our differences aside and come to a naked compromise. What do you say, princess? Are you going to run from me or are we finally going to talk this thing out?”

  Andy takes the hint and makes a quick escape, I plop my ass onto a stool allowing my eyes to wander over Kelsey’s toned legs. I remember how good they felt wrapped around my waist as I pounded into her tight pussy. My cock twitches against my zipper from the memory.

  “Are you going to say something or are you just going to stare at me all night?”

  Kelsey spins in her seat, giving me a direct view of her ample cleavage. Fuck me. I swear she’s doing this to me on purpose. I shake off the effects she’s causing my body and answer her.

  “I think you and I got off on the wrong foot,” I say as I exchange my empty bottle of JD for a beer. “Tell me what you want from me.”

  “I don’t understand.” Kelsey’s eyebrows crease in confusion.

  “You know, at first I found our game of cat and mouse to be exhilarating. There is nothing a wolf enjoys more than hunting down its target, and let’s face it,” I smirk, “there was never any doubt that I wouldn’t catch you. But now that I have, I want more. So I’ll ask you again. What do you want from me?”

  Hell at this point I think I’d do just about anything that she asked, why? Because every time that female opens her sassy mouth, my blood boils and my cock swells to epic proportions. All I can think about is stripping her naked and getting her luscious body underneath mine. Of course, the fact that I haven’t gotten laid in a week isn’t helping.

  “I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or the fact that your cologne is doing funny things to my girl parts, but I need you to spell it out for me like I’m a dumb blonde.”

  I stifle my laughter before taking a sip of beer. The poor girl has no idea that smoky sinful aroma is all me. As for the rest, she should already know how I feel about her.

  “I already told you what I want, princess, it’s you, in my bed every fucking night then waking up with you in my arms every morning.”

  The memory of how it felt to hold her while she slept, while she was at her most vulnerable, stirs something deep inside of me. My desire to watch over this woman, to be her protector rouses a primal need within my soul. It’s as if it’s been ingrained in every fiber of my being to be her savior. Kelsey doesn’t appear to be as convinced, if the semi annoyed look on her face is any indication.

&nb
sp; “Do you really expect me to fall for the same bullshit lines you’ve said to hundreds of women? We both know that you don’t do monogamy, so please spare me your false promises. You got what you wanted from me so I think the best thing for us to do is pretend like that night never happened and go back to being friends.”

  Well, it’s official, Kelsey Collins is bat shit crazy. My vision blurs and the only color I see is red.

  “FRIENDS,” I growl so forcefully that I gain the attention of every patron in the bar. “How do you expect me to be friends with you after I’ve tasted you? After I’ve been inside of you? I can tell you right the fuck now that is never going happen cause you, Kelsey Collins, are the only woman I want to be faithful to. Is that why you snuck out on me?”

  “Would you please lower your voice?” she snaps.

  It wouldn’t matter if I did. Half the bar is full of shifters and vamps and the human customers can kiss my ass if they don’t like it.

  “I was trying to avoid doing the walk of shame in front of your brothers. The last thing I needed was for them to find out I had just joined the ‘I fucked Jamie Trudeau fan club.’ I’m so sorry if that bruises your precious ego.”

  I glance to my right and cock my eyebrow at a nearby group of giggling females, and yes, I slept with all of them.

  “Is there really a fan club?” I ask, amusement lacing my voice.

  They all blush and nod in unison. Great, at any other time, I’d find this information to be hilarious, but at this moment, my only concern is comforting my mate.

  “Kelsey,” I sigh deciding to try another tactic, “I’m sorry, but I can’t pretend there isn’t something going on between us because honestly, I know you’re it for me. I want to be with you, only you, do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

  I don’t care if I’m acting like a boy with a schoolyard crush, I refuse to go back to the way things were. My brothers were right. I’m a man on a mission and need to be with her, fuck the consequences.

  Kelsey opens her mouth, and then quickly shuts it. Her face scrunches with bewilderment like I’ve just spoken in tongues.

  “You really want to be with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Only me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You want to be with me, only me?”

  For fuck’s sake! “Are we going to do this all night? Yes woman I want to be with you!”

  “Like boyfriend and girlfriend?”

  Ugh, I really hate that human term. Shifters have no need for such bullshit labels. We have mates not girlfriends, but when in Rome.

  “You know, there really should be a more adult term because I ain’t no fucking boy, but yeah, I want to be your boyfriend.”

  “Holy shit,” she gasps.

  “Why is that so much of a shock?”

  “Ah, well…it’s just that you’re you and I’m me and now all of a sudden you want to become an ‘us’ so um yeah it’s kind of a lot to take in.”

  Jesus, I’ve never seen Kelsey so nervous before. It’s kinda cute.

  “Finn, I’m cutting her off.” I chuckle as I slam back the shot that was meant for her.

  “Listen up, cupcake, cause I’m only going to say this once. You and me,” I wave my finger back and forth between us, “are meant to be together. Call it destiny, fate, a curse, whatever. It’s inevitable. So stop being so damn stubborn and just go with it. I know I’ve done shit to make you doubt my intentions and for that I’m sorry, but give me a chance to show you the real me. Please.”

  I add the so-called magic word hoping that it will be enough to convince her that I’m not full of shit. Frankly, I’m flying blind here. I have absolutely no concept of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say yes, so I can take you home and start making up for lost time.”

  It feels like my need for this woman is increasing with every second that ticks by.

  “I want to trust you, Jamie, I really do, but you expect me to believe that you’ve done this whole one eighty. Don’t forget that I’ve watched you for months, I know how you operate, and I have no desire to be dumped when the next set of double D’s comes along.”

  My jaw tightens as I grind my teeth together in frustration. What the hell do I have to say to get through to this female? It’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed my mind that she’d leave my ass for the first asshole in a suit that offers to give her what I can’t. The difference is I’m still willing to risk it all for the chance to be with her.

  “I want to take care of you, protect you. I want to learn every one of your secrets, your desires, and your fears. I want to know what makes you tick.” I exhale an irritated breath before gazing into the palest set of green eyes. “I get it, princess, talk is cheap. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not a liar. So if it will take actions over pretty words to prove to you how much I want to be with you, princess, then that’s what I’m prepared to do.”

  Man, if someone had told me three months ago that I’d go from being a stone cold killer to a pussy whipped little boy, I would have laughed until whisky shot out my nose. Yet here I am, practically begging this human female to give me the time of day. God, I’m so pathetic.

  “I need some time to think about all of this.” She places a tender kiss to my cheek before sliding off of her stool and heading toward her friend.

  “Yer are playin' a fierce game, mo’chara.”

  I snort in agreement, “Yeah, but what other choice to I have?”

  “Yer could tell her the truth for starters.”

  “I doubt it would change anything.” I sigh loudly.

  I can’t say that I’m thrilled with the prospect of having to wait for Kelsey to come around. I’m not exactly known for being patient, if anything, I’m more of an instant gratification sort of man. Somehow, I’ll have to find a way to prove myself to her.

  Finn pours us a couple of shots of whiskey. “Here's ter the girls that we love, here's ter the girls that we hate, here's ter the girls that we fuck, but probably never date, sláinte.”

  I swallow the dark liquid and place my glass on the bar. As Finn pours us another round, I start to wonder if I’ve made the right decision. Maybe I should just tell Kelsey that she’s my mate. My issue with that is I don’t want her to feel obligated to be with me. I want her to be with me because she believes I am the best man for the job, not because some unknown deity decided long before either of us was born that we’d be perfect for each other.

  But what if Finn is right? This could backfire on me. Kelsey could cut her losses and move on with someone else.

  “You know I‘ll lose it if I she chooses another male.” I slam back my shot and relish in the burn of the alcohol.

  Kelsey has no idea how possessive male shifters can be, especially with our females.

  “I have yer back, mo’chara, and a trusty shovel.”

  I chuckle at the Irishman. There’s no doubt in my mind that he knows how to get rid of a body. Before I get a chance to comment further, Gia makes her presence known.

  “What do you want, babe?” I heave a sigh in mild annoyance.

  I’m not in the mood for this shit. I have a raging hard-on courtesy of Miss Collins and I can feel a headache forming behind my eyes. I mentally count how many days it’s been since I’ve gotten off with anything other than my hand. Christ, it’s been six days since I’ve been with Kelsey and prior to that salacious night it had been almost a month. Hell one day is too long if you ask me, but now that I’ve bonded with my mate, she is the only one my body will respond to.

  If I were being honest, I had grown tired of fucking random women like Gia a long time ago and if I hadn’t needed the release so badly, I probably wouldn’t have bothered.

  The problem lies within my angelic abilities. Fire is all consuming, explosive, a combustible force of heat and passion and it flows through my veins as readily as my blood. The longer I continue to ride solo t
he more I’ll feel like going on a murderous rampage. I need more than my hand and my imagination to ease the hurt inside of my soul. I need my mate.

  “You know what I want, babe.”

  She tosses the endearment that I give every girl I fuck back at me while licking the outer shell of my ear.

  Fuck me. I can’t do this. And not just because my dick suddenly deflated, but if I touch Gia or anyone else for that matter I will lose my shot with Kelsey.

  “I’m not in the mood tonight, Gia. Go find someone else to play with.” I toss the words over my shoulder as I head toward the restrooms to take a piss. I had just undone my belt buckle when my blonde stalker enters the room.

  “Are you lost?”

  “Oh come on, Jamie, you’re always in the mood to fuck. Besides,” she purrs as she skillfully unzips my jeans sliding her hand against my heated skin until her fingers are firmly wrapped around my flaccid cock.

  “I’ve been dying to suck you off since you walked in here tonight.”

  She leans forward, her teeth sink into the flesh of my neck hard enough to leave a mark. I can’t stop the groan that erupts from my throat.

  “Gia, enough, I’m not fucking playing,” I growl as I attempt to stuff myself back into the confinement of my jeans.

  “This is new, you’ve never played hard to get before, I like it.”

  I can see the determined gleam in her gray eyes, her tongue snakes out to wet her glossed lips. Gia crouches down and attempts to wrap her lips around my shaft. I thread my fingers in her blonde tresses effectively pulling her head away from my junk.

  “God, yes, pull my hair harder. I love when you make me beg for it.”

  Is this chick for real, how many times do I have to tell her no? I should inform her that the orgasmic ride that is my cock is now out of order and closed to the public.

  I stare into the face of the woman who has allowed me to use her body more times then I’d like to admit. Gia’s eyes are glazed over with lust. Her full breasts are barely contained by her tight shirt. I can feel her nails digging into the muscles of my thighs.