The Proximity Principle

by Ken Coleman

  Linda, a woman who called into my show one day, told me how focusing on the present got her one step closer to her future. The coolest part of Linda’s story is that she wasn’t calling to celebrate getting her dream job. She was calling to commemorate a significant win she had at work as a result of changing her mind-set. Linda could see a clear path to the position she really wanted, but she also realized that she had been so focused on looking elsewhere for opportunities that she hadn’t focused on her current responsibilities to the best of her ability. She confessed that she hadn’t done a great job of embracing her role. Linda made the decision that if she was ever going to move up, she had to change her attitude and really embrace the work that she had in front of her.

  So she focused on being grateful for her work and attacking everything she was asked to do with enthusiasm. She stopped treating her job as a stepping stone and instead tried to see it as a cornerstone for growth. And guess what happened? Not only did her boss notice this change, but he was so impressed that he came to her two months later and offered her a new job—a position that was one step closer to her dream role. And this new position came with a $10,000 raise, which was really going to help her meet her financial goals! Linda called in to my show to explain what a dramatic difference it can make if you’re simply willing to embrace your role and focus on the present instead of worrying solely about the future.

  I can relate to Linda’s story of losing a little focus in the here and now and having to hit the reset button. When I came to Ramsey, I gave up hosting my own little radio show in Georgia. Now, I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I was in the best place for growth and learning, but part of me just missed the daily grind of hosting my own show. And when I first arrived, my role was to emcee live events and host a really great leadership podcast called the EntreLeadership Podcast, which, by the way, I still host today. Working on those two responsibilities was what was expected of me and how I could best help the company win.

  One evening I came home from work feeling impatient about where I was in my role and longing to do more. It was one of those days I really missed having my own show. I loved the company and people, and I knew there was a ton of opportunity for my future there, but that day I felt like a little part of me had died. I began to talk to my wife about my frustrations, and she helped to completely turn my attitude around. She reminded me to be grateful for the incredible opportunities that were in front of me at work every day and to be patient and accept my role. My wife was right—and getting back to an attitude of gratitude snapped me out of focusing on the next and helped me focus on the now. You need people like this in your life to give you a reality check and help you refocus. Others who have a proximity mind-set can do this. They can help you see that even when you accept and embrace your current role, that doesn’t mean that’s it, you’re done. You can actually go above and beyond by maximizing your role.

  Maximize Your Role

  to maximize your role, you can’t just wait around for a chance to make a difference.

  You don’t have to wait until you’ve reached your dream job to maximize your role. In fact, you shouldn’t. Maximizing your role is the effort you bring to executing your job. And you can do this in any job and in any role. You’ll just need to look above and beyond your basic job responsibilities—to think beyond just what’s best for you to what’s best for the people around you. This could look like actively pursuing opportunities to help people in other areas of the organization or simply going the extra mile to help a teammate finish a project that’s traditionally out of your lane. If you’re going to maximize your role, you can’t just wait around for a chance to make a difference. There’s nothing that illustrates this idea quite like the story of Carolyn Collins, a high school janitor who worked a few miles outside of Atlanta, Georgia.

  A few years ago, Collins was busy doing her job well. Early one morning before school, she was about to take out the trash when she heard knocking on the cafeteria door. She opened the door to find two high school students waiting outside—a brother and sister who were homeless at the time, living out of their mother’s car. She brought them inside and gave them food and school supplies. Her heart went out to the students when she realized they were hungry and didn’t have anything to eat. Suddenly Collins recognized there was a need in her own school that no one was addressing. She knew she couldn’t just sit back and say, “This isn’t in my job description.” No. She had to take action.

  On her drive home from work that day, Collins stopped at the store and spent $200 of her own money on snacks, toiletries, socks, underwear, notebooks, and pencils. The next day she went to the principal’s office to explain what had happened the day before and how she planned to help. She got the principal’s blessing, and that afternoon, she cleaned out an old storage room near the cafeteria and began stocking the shelves with items. Before the school doors opened the next morning, Collins’s “giving closet” was up and running.

  Since 2014 any of the school’s students who need items such as food, soap, school supplies, book bags, and clothes can quietly mention it to Ms. Collins, as they call her, and she opens the closet for them and gives them what they need. And if a student needs something that isn’t in the closet, she does everything in her power to go out and find it. Carolyn Collins is a beautiful example of someone who looked beyond her job description and everyday responsibilities and saw an opportunity to help others in a practical and life-changing way. Now, as a result, she’s impacted an entire high school and its surrounding community!55

  What kind of impact could we make in our work if we each maximized our role like Collins? What sort of difference could we make in our work and our organizations? And in our communities? What could you accomplish if part of your to-do list for every day was to go above and beyond what was simply required of you?

  Folks, the practice of adopting a proximity mind-set can reap rewards not only for yourself but for others. Not just for your organization, but for your community. This is where knowing your role, accepting your role, and maximizing your role come together to make a truly winning combination.

  Conclusion

  Pressing On

  It’s not the destination. It’s the journey.

  —Ralph Waldo Emerson

  The famous Scottish mountaineer William Hutchinson Murray, who I mentioned in the introduction, didn’t stop after he climbed his first mountain. He looked toward the next challenge and the next—and the next. He was a world-renowned mountain climber, then he went on to make a name for himself as a writer. He was always challenging himself. Always pushing his own limits.

  I quoted a passage from him in the introduction, and this piece of it is worth repeating again: “I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!56

  As I read this, I can’t help but reflect back on the first steps of my climb and how hesitant I was to begin. There were times I wanted to draw back, to talk myself out of it. What if I failed? What if I wasn’t good enough or smart enough? But I ignored the voices of fear and pride, and I began putting one foot in front of the other. I committed to the climb. I chose to be bold. The Proximity Principle has been essential to my journey and has put me around the right people and places that opened doors of opportunity.

  Over the course of the book, you have learned how the right people, the right places, and the right practices can help you find the opportunities where you are able to use what you do best to do what you love most. Whenever you arrive at your professional summit—whatever that job may be—you will discover that The Proximity Principle is a way of thinking, a way of acting, a way of living. It’s the common factor in the lives of every successful person I have met. And here’s the thing: if you’re the type of person who has what it takes to make it to the summit of your climb, you’re also the kind of person who is going to aspire to continued growth. Once you’ve ascended that first mountain,
you’ll look out and see there are more mountains to climb and more exciting challenges ahead.

  Why is it so important to me that you reach your full potential? Because you matter—and what you do for work matters. Work is where we will spend an estimated 90,000 hours—one third—of our lives, and so it’s deeply important to do meaningful work.57 You have unique talents and abilities to accomplish things in the world only you can do. While most workers approach their jobs with a hopeless, resigned attitude of “watching the clock” or “cashing a check,” you’ve chosen to believe your work has purpose and meaning! That makes all the difference.

  On your journey to work that matters, there may be mornings you’ll wake up discouraged. You’ll be tempted to look up at those risky trails on your climb and feel it’s just too far to go and you might not make it. You’ll hesitate and want to draw back. There will be days when you’ll face rejection. And there will be times when fear and pride knock you down. In those moments, know that you are not alone. I’ve been in your shoes. And so many others have too. But while fear and pride may get you down temporarily, you cannot let them keep you down. You can do this. You have what you need to make the climb. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put one foot in front of the other.

  You were created to fill a unique role. The world needs you to fill it.

  So set your sights on that one thing you know you were created to do. The work that fires you up and makes you feel alive, and use The Proximity Principle to make it happen.

  Press on!

  Notes

  1. Jim Clifton, “The World’s Broken Workplace,” Gallup, June 13, 2017, https://news.gallup.com/opinion/chairman/212045/world-broken-workplace.aspx.

  2. William Hutchison Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, (J. M. Dent & Co, 1951).

  3. Undiscovered Scotland. “W. H. Murray.” https://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/usbiography/m/whmurray.html.

  4. Peter Economy, “Steve Jobs on the Remarkable Power of Asking for Help,” Inc., June 11, 2015, https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/steve-jobs-on-the-remarkable-power-of-asking-for-what-you-want.html.

  5. “Wayne Gretzky, Canadian Hockey Player,” Encyclopedia Britannica, December 3, 2018, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Wayne-Gretzky.

  6. Aine Cain, “‘Can You Please Look Away While I Deliver the Rest of the Speech?’: Will Ferrell Tells New Grads How to Get Past Their Fear of Failure,” Business Insider, May 16, 2017, https://www.businessinsider.com/will-ferrell-on-finding-success-fear-of-failure-2017-5.

  7. Gary Graff, “Don Felder Remembers Tom Petty as a Friend, Student & ‘Fearless’ Performer,” Billboard, October 3, 2017, https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/7988695/don-felder-tom-petty-tribute-friend-student-gainesville-florida.

  8. Helena de Bertodano, “Beautiful Creatures: Viola Davis Interview,” The Telegraph, February 11, 2013, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/9832218/Beautiful-Creatures-Viola-Davis-interview.html.

  9. Jack Smart, “The Continued Education of Viola Davis and Denzel Washington,” Backstage, January 11, 2017, https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/continued-education-viola-davis-denzel-washington-5211/.

  10. David Itzkoff, Robin, (New York: Henry Holt and Co., 2018).

  11. “Sir Edmund Hillary,” Hillary Institute, http://www.hillaryinstitute.com/sir-edmund-full-bio/.

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  13. Philip Horne, “M Night Shyamalan Interview: A New Sense of the Spectacular,” The Telegraph, August 11, 2010, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/7930719/M-Night-Shyamalan-interview-a-new-sense-of-the-spectacular.html.

  14. Matt Miller, “Paul McCartney Explains How the Beatles Wouldn’t Exist Without Chuck Berry,” Beatlesarama.com, March 21, 2017, http://beatlesarama.com/paul-mccartney-explains-beatles-wouldnt-exist-without-chuck-berry/.

  15. Jackie MacMullan, “Kobe Bryant: Imitating Greatness,” ESPN, June 4, 2010, http://www.espn.com/nba/playoffs/2010/columns/story?columnist=macmullan_jackie&page=kobefilmstudy-100604.

  16. Henry Blodget, “Here’s the Man Who Inspired Steve Jobs,” Business Insider, October 9, 2011, https://www.businessinsider.com/heres-the-man-who-inspired-steve-jobs-2011-10.

  17. Sheila Eugenio, “7 Reasons You Need a Mentor for Entrepreneurial Success,” August 17, 2016, Entrepreneur, https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/280134.

  18. Jean Rhodes, “Top 25 Mentoring Relationships in History,” The Chronicle of Evidence-Based Mentoring, September 13, 2015, https://www.evidencebasedmentoring.org/top-25-mentoring-relationships-in-history/.

  19. “Exclusive: Oprah on Her Last Conversation with Maya Angelou,” Entertainment Tonight, May 30, 2014, https://www.etonline.com/news/146999_exclusive_oprah_breaks_news_on_maya_angelou_memorial.

  20. Clay Clark, “Why Every Great Business Leader Has A Mentor,” Forbes, June 20, 2017, https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/06/20/why-every-great-business-leader-has-a-mentor/#76318ba55374.

  21. Financial profile of Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, Forbes, December 7, 2018, https://www.forbes.com/profile/warren-buffett/#230af24e4639.

  22. James C. Price, “Great Mentor Relationships Throughout History,” Refresh Leadership, January 13, 2015, http://www.refreshleadership.com/index.php/2015/01/great-mentor-relationships-history/.

  23. Bill Gates, “Testing Mattresses with Warren Buffet,” Gates Notes, June 6, 2017, https://www.gatesnotes.com/About-Bill-Gates/Testing-Mattresses-with-Warren-Buffett?WT.mc_id=20170606173828_BerkshireMtg2017_BG-TW&WT.tsrc=BGTW&linkId=38416190.

  24. Chris Weller, “Bill Gates Says His Mentor Was a 6-foot-7 ‘Giant’ of Global Health Also Named Bill,” Business Insider, October 11, 2017, https://www.businessinsider.com/bill-gates-discusses-mentor-bill-foege-2017-10.

  25. Aimee Groth, “You’re the Average of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With,” Business Insider, July 24, 2012, https://www.businessinsider.com/jim-rohn-youre-the-average-of-the-five-people-you-spend-the-most-time-with-2012-7.

  26. Emma Jones, “‘I Didn’t Get into Movies to Please the Critics’: Adam Sandler Interview,” Independent, August 2, 2013, https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/i-didnt-get-into-movies-to-please-the-critics-adam-sandler-interview-8742294.html.

  27. Psalm 27:17.

  28. David Wharton, “Send in the Clowns: The Comedy Store keeps the laughs coming as it celebrates its 20th birthday with some of the comedians who got their start there,” Los Angeles Times, April 12, 2018, https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-send-in-the-clowns-19920920-story.html.

  29. Richard Feloni, “How Jimmy Fallon Made It to The Tonight Show Through Exceptional Networking,” Business Insider, November 6, 2014, https://www.businessinsider.com/jimmy-fallon-networking-key-to-success-2014-11.

  30. Brittney Morgan, “Career Advice from Katie Couric,” Business News Daily, June 9, 2014, https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/6558-katie-couric-career-tips.html.

  31. “Katie Couric on Love, Career Highs & Our Next Mayor,” Gotham, November 14, 2013, https://gotham-magazine.com/katie-couric-on-love-career-and-nycs-next-mayor.

  32. “Take a Look Back at Disney in the Year 1923,” The Official Disney Fan Club, March 6, 2014, https://d23.com/a-walk-with-walt-disney-1923/.

  33. Emily Canal, “How These Co-Founder Cousins Made $20 Million Last Year Bringing Maine Lobster to Food Trucks Around the Country,” Inc., April 12, 2018, https://www.inc.com/emily-canal/cousins-maine-lobster-food-truck-business.html.

  34. Hoda Kotb, “From Video Clerk to Box Office Icon,” Dateline NBC, April 25, 2004, http://www.nbcnews.com/id/4817308/ns/dateline_nbc-newsmakers/t/video-clerk-box-office-icon/#.XB2gOi2ZN-U.

  35. Bailey Mosier, “Arnie: Palmer Born, Raised and Forever in Latrobe,” Golf Channel, September 10, 2014, https://www.g
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  36. Ryan Herrington, “Here’s Everyone Who Has Earned More than $1 Million on the PGA Tour this Season,” Golfworld, August 29, 2018, https://www.golfdigest.com/story/heres-everyone-who-has-earned-more-than-dollar-1-million-on-the-pga-tour-this-season-and-the-number-will-amaze-you.

  37. Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success, (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008).

  38. Mike Reiss, “As Tom Brady Improves Movement, ‘Broken-Play’ Coach Helps,” ESPN, September 4, 2018, http://www.espn.com/blog/new-england-patriots/post/_/id/4814711/a-new-twist-tom-brady-and-the-patriots-broken-play-coach.

  39. Mark Medina, “Lakers’ Kobe Bryant credits Lower Merion’s Gregg Downer for molding his game,” Los Angeles Daily News, November 30, 2015, https://www.dailynews.com/2015/11/30/lakers-kobe-bryant-credits-lower-merions-gregg-downer-for-molding-his-game/.

  40. Rebecca Johnson, “Why Serena Williams Is Best Friends with Her Fiercest Competitor,” Vogue, March 21, 2015, https://www.vogue.com/article/serena-williams-april-cover-caroline-wozniacki.

  41. Henry Blodget, “I Asked Jeff Bezos the Tough Questions—No Profits, the Book Controversies, the Phone Flop—And He Showed Why Amazon Is Such a Huge Success,” Business Insider, December 13, 2014, https://www.businessinsider.com/amazons-jeff-bezos-on-profits-failure-succession-big-bets-2014-12?r=UK&IR=T.

  42. “Jeff Bezos: Founder and CEO of Amazon, Inventor and Perfecter of Modern E-commerce, Popularizer of E-reading,” Esquire, September 25, 2008, https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a5038/jeff-bezos-1008/.

  43. Sara Schaefer, “What I’ve Learned Performing Comedy at over 50 College Campuses,” Vulture, September 10, 2013, https://www.vulture.com/2018/09/what-ive-learned-performing-comedy-at-college-campuses.html.