Putting the Fun in Funeral

by Diana Pharaoh Francis

  “No, I’ve got a lab tomorrow.” He hesitated. “You need me, though, just call. I want to help with finding the gargoyles’ mates. And—”

  “And?” I prompted when he didn’t continue.

  “Our families don’t interact much. Sharpentiers are down the ranks quite a bit, but I like you, you know, and we could stay in touch maybe.”

  I groaned. “I don’t care what my DNA is. You and I are friends now. Of course we’ll be in touch. I’d have to kick your ass if you didn’t call and visit.” I dug in my pocket for my phone and passed it to him. “Put your digits into my contacts.”

  His expression brightened and he practically snatched my cell away. He input his information then called his phone. Once I popped up on his caller ID, he hung up and passed my phone back.

  In the meantime, Jen and Lorraine had been casting meaningful looks between Damon and me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say they were talking telepathically.

  “Why don’t we give you a ride, Ben?” Jen asked, linking her arm through his. “These guys still have to talk to the gargoyles. If we hurry, we can grab breakfast before you hit the road.

  In all of a few seconds, I was hugged by all three and they took off, leaving me with Damon.

  I wanted to ask if he was okay, but who was? And then I wanted to ask if something was wrong, but the answer to that was too obvious for words. I considered asking what exactly was bothering him, but we’d just been hanging out in a place where I’d spent a lot of time getting tortured. Not to mention he was just as frustrated we hadn’t found any clues about the gargoyles’ mates as I was.

  “I’m going outside,” I said after a minute of uncomfortable silence and headed out of the kitchen through the garden room and back out to the patio. Ajax padded beside me. I’d begun to really feel my exhaustion. My head felt stuffed full of sawdust.

  Half the gargoyles had returned from scouting. The sun would be up soon. I wondered if they’d all return and take up their former positions on the roof or if searchers would turn back to rock wherever they were or if the sun even mattered.

  My question was answered a couple of minutes later when several more dropped out of the sky, including the one who seemed to be their leader. He dived for me, landing heavily.

  “What do you know?” he asked without preamble.

  I shook my head. “Nothing yet. We found a place where there might be information. Mason is checking it out now.”

  The creature snarled and hissed. The others, listening in, muttered and growled. One punched the wall of the house. The sound was explosive. A hollow appeared as brick turned to powder.

  “We demand them back!” the leader declared. “We will not tolerate you holding them captive. We will not serve a house that betrays us.” Threat and malice rolled away from him, and his eyes flamed.

  “Yeah, about that,” I said. “What will it take to free you from this bondage?” I waved at the house.

  The gargoyle looked taken aback, which was kind of funny, given how scary looking he was.

  “It is not possible,” he said finally, and he seemed to deflate a little. “We are bound to protect this house and grounds for all eternity.”

  Now it was my turn to be surprised. “Eternity? No way.”

  “It was the oath the witch required. We had no choice.”

  “Because she took your mates,” Damon said.

  I hadn’t heard him come out. I looked over my shoulder. He stood a little behind me. Talking about watching my back, literally.

  “Yes,” the lead gargoyle said.

  “There has to be some way to free you,” I said. “I’ll find it. In the meantime, we’re still going to be searching for your mates. I won’t give up until I find them and bring them back to you.”

  The gargoyle eyed me for a long moment. I met his gaze, hoping he could see my sincerity.

  “We must trust you,” he said at last. “We have no choice.”

  That was not the most ringing endorsement but understandable. “I’ll update you on how our search is coming tomorrow night. I’m Beck Wyatt, by the way.” I stuck out my hand to shake.

  The gargoyle looked at it and then stretched out a giant clawed paw and wrapped my hand in it. His skin felt dry and oddly warm and softer than I’d expected. I thought he would feel like a rock. I could feel the strength in his grip, though, and if he wanted, I was pretty sure he could not only crush my hand, he could break it off without straining.

  “Beck Wyatt, I am Torastan, Speaker for clan Mearow.”

  “I promise I will never stop looking until I find your mates, Torastan,” I said.

  “Do you keep your promises, Beck Wyatt?”

  “Every last one.”

  “Then I will be glad to see you tomorrow night and hear your news.”

  He let go of my hand and said something to his fellow gargoyles that I couldn’t understand at all, and then they leaped into the air and settled onto their perches. Their poses changed to be more menacing, and this time they weren’t flying their penises at full mast. As I watched, they hardened into solid stone, the orange flames of their eyes fading away to nothing.

  I sighed and turned. Damon had vanished.

  I went into the house and called his name. No answer. I went out the front door.

  “Damon?”

  He had his shoulder propped against one of the fluted marble columns with his back to me. I held the door for Ajax and then shut it behind myself then went to lean back against the other column, facing him. Neither of us spoke right away.

  “Thanks,” I said finally.

  He didn’t look at me. “For what?”

  “Letting me handle that.”

  The corner of his mouth twitched. “Pretty sure you would have kicked my ass if I got in your way.”

  I smiled. “Maybe. All the same, I know that had to be killing you.”

  “I wish I’d known,” he said. “I would have come sooner.”

  He was talking about Aunty Mommy and the basement. “I know.”

  “I wish I could take away all that pain. Take away the memories and the horror you must have suffered. I feel so god-damned helpless! I can’t—” His hands clenched as emotion overwhelmed him. He spit off into the bushes.

  “I can’t say it doesn’t matter. I can’t say it didn’t hurt and that there weren’t days I wished I was dead. But I fought back and I survived. I’m not going to let the Wicked Bitch have any more of me than she’s already taken.”

  “What can I do?”

  “Feed me. And Ajax. I could use a shower and some sleep before I have to meet with my employees.”

  “All right. Let’s go.”

  He stepped down and walked to the truck, pulling open the passenger door before going around to get in. He still wasn’t looking at me and carefully didn’t touch me. I wasn’t sure what to make of either.

  “Dine in or drive through?” he asked as he pulled out onto the road.

  I rolled my window down a couple of inches. “Drive through. I’m ready to collapse.”

  He took us through a local fast-food breakfast drive-through that served actual food, ordering enough to feed six of us. He passed me the takeout bags full of styrofoam boxes, and I set them on the floor, pushing Ajax’s interested nose away.

  “You’ll get yours,” I promised him.

  Damon wasn’t talking and I was too tired to do much of my own, so it was a silent ride back to the hotel. We took the food upstairs and sat at the small table and ate. Damon had ordered a batch of scrambled eggs and ham for Ajax.

  I eyed his swollen hand. “Is there any more water from Banana Buddha’s pool? You should drink some.”

  He shook his head. “All gone.”

  That was the extent of our conversation. When we were through eating, we stashed the leftovers in the refrigerator.

  I showered first and when he went in to take his, I grabbed an extra blanket out of the closet and stole a pillow off the bed. I stretched out on the couch. Ajax hopped
up and curled up on my feet. I heard Damon come out of the shower.

  “Beck?” He sounded irritated.

  “What?”

  “Get your ass into the bed. You aren’t sleeping out here.” He came to stand in front of the couch. The light from the bedroom outlined his bare shoulders and chest, highlighting the curves of his biceps and the way his powerful chest narrowed to a taut waist. My mouth went dry.

  “It’s your bed. You get to have it.”

  “Fuck that.”

  He bent and swung me up into his arms. Ajax jumped down after us but didn’t get feisty. Or violent for that matter.

  I didn’t get much of a chance to savor the satin heat of his skin before Damon dropped me on the bed. I caught sight of his hand. It was swollen and purple with bruises.

  “Jesus. You need to ice your hand. Or heal it up.”

  “I’ll heal it later, when I’ve got time to crash that long.”

  “You mean when you don’t have to worry about me while you’re asleep.”

  “That’s exactly what I mean,” he agreed, leaning over me to yank back the covers and then shoved me over onto the sheets. He flipped the covers back over me.

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his rippled abs and the way his silk pajama pants hung low on his hips. They looked as if could slide off at any moment. I silently encouraged them to do so.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” he ordered roughly.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want me to do to you what I’ve been dreaming about since I first laid eyes on you.”

  “What’s that?”

  He gave a choked laugh. “If you don’t know, then you’re an idiot, and one thing I know for a fact is that you are anything but stupid. Go to sleep.”

  He shut the light off and got into bed—or rather, he got on top of it so that we had the separation of the covers—and turned so his back was toward me. I scowled. That was it? Not even one of those spectacular toe-curling kisses? Maybe a little pillow talk?

  I lay there, waiting for him to turn over and give me what I ached for. He didn’t move. Instead, Ajax leaped up onto the bed and curled up at my feet.

  It took a long time to fall asleep. I tossed restlessly while Damon remained relentlessly silent and still.

  A few hours later, I woke with my head on Damon’s arm, his leg slung over mine, his other arm draped over my waist. His large hand cupped my breast, thumb circling slow torture over my nipple. I caught my breath and squeezed my legs together, trying not to moan as my insides turned to honey and sharp pleasure spread from where he stroked.

  Was he awake? His chest rose and fell with slow, even breaths. Oh, God. He wasn’t. That was good, even though my body totally disagreed. I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this. I put my hand over his and pushed it down. I lay there, my body humming like a plucked guitar string. I wanted so much to just turn over and lose myself in the heat of his touch. I took deep breaths to slow my racing pulse.

  What time was it? Feeling as I did, I had a snowball’s chance in hell of falling asleep again. Maybe I should try to slip out of bed and move back to the couch. Holding my breath, I lifted my head and shifted forward, drawing my leg out from under Damon’s. As I leaned away from his chest, he made a sound of protest and gathered me close again. Once again his hand covered my breast, and an agony of delight surged through me. I had to either get some distance or give in to my craving for him.

  I went to push his hand down again. I’d got it off my breast when I heard his breath hiss between his teeth. His body tensed. I froze.

  “Beck?” Damon’s voice was midnight rough, and it sent shivers over my skin.

  “Yes.” I sounded as breathless as I was.

  His hand flexed under mine and then pushed upward again to cover my breast. He cupped and massaged it gently. I made a sound in the back of my throat and arched my back, pushing into his grasp. His arm tightened over my ribs as his fingers teased my nipple. He strung kisses down my neck and along the top of my shoulder, the heat of his chest like a fire against my back. I shuddered and wiggled my ass into him, feeling his hard length pressing into me.

  Abruptly he flung himself back, rolled over, and swung up to his feet, leaving me cold and aching. He was panting like he’d been sprinting.

  “I’m sorry. That was— I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “It’s not like I wasn’t enjoying myself,” I said crankily, feeling like my emotions were pinballing around inside me. I was glad of the darkness so he couldn’t see how flushed I was.

  “I want you, Beck. More than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life. But I don’t want you doing something in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later. I’m not sure I could survive that. I want a real shot with you. I know you’re attracted to me, but I also know I fucked up when I tried to grab you that first day and then kept secrets about your family. You have every reason not to trust me. I need to earn your trust. I need to know that if and when we make love, it’ll be because you chose me and that our first time won’t be the last.”

  My mouth had gone dry as I listened to his impassioned speech. I pulled myself up and faced him. I drew my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees.

  “In your world—the magic world where you and Mason come from—do any of you get happily ever afters? Or is it all contracts and negotiations?” I wondered what Damon’s childhood and home had been like. I realized I didn’t know a lot about him. Well, except for the fact that he was thoughtful, kind, and protective, not to mention hot as hell.

  My question startled him, and he stood silent a long moment. “Over the years, line management has taken priority in the ruling families.”

  “So that’s a no? What about your family? Are your parents together, or are you a contract baby too?”

  “Contract. I was raised with my father’s line. Wait—” He switched on the nightstand light and faced me ferociously. “You don’t think that’s what I want from you, do you? Babies to strengthen the power of my line?”

  “I didn’t,” I said. “But now that you mention it....” I trailed off. I didn’t think so at all, but I wanted to tease him. His faced darkened with fury and more than a little hurt. Uh-oh. I should probably put him out of his misery.

  “Okay, I’ve thought about it. No.”

  He shook his head as though he’d been slugged in the jaw and his head was reeling. I smiled. I liked being able to throw him off balance.

  “Do you mean it?”

  He really was worried about my thinking that.

  “You wouldn’t trick me like that. If you wanted a baby from me, you’d say so.”

  Something crossed his expression, something like shell shock.

  “What?”

  “You having my baby,” he choked out and then nothing else.

  I frowned confusion. “What about it?”

  “It’s sexy as hell.”

  “You have a very odd idea of sexy,” I said. “A hormonal woman with swollen everything and a beer gut the size of a base drum. Though I’ve heard that the swelling includes giant breasts, so I can see how that part might be a turn-on.”

  This was such a surreal conversation. The idea of my ever getting pregnant had never occurred to me. Hell, I’d barely lost my virginity. Though looking at him right now in the soft glow of the light, I wouldn’t mind practicing making one. He was mouthwatering. I wanted to explore every ripple and swell of his hard muscles with my fingers and tongue.

  “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to have to come over there,” he said in a low, smoky voice.

  “That’s the second time this morning that you’ve threatened me with a good time.”

  He dragged his fingers through his hair. “You’re killing me.”

  I would have said I was sorry but I wasn’t. Not even a little bit. But if we went down this road, it wouldn’t be casual. Not for either of us. Did I want that? Did I want to try a relationship with Damon? I’d
never dated anybody before, and this would be jumping in with both feet. We hadn’t even gone out on a basic date.

  I did like him—a lot. He was smart, funny, brave, dependable, sexy, and thoughtful. Plus, I wanted to lick him from head to toe like a lollipop. If I could fall in love with any man, he’d be my top choice. But I wasn’t ready to say he was the one for me. I needed time and maybe some normal dating.

  “Maybe you should ask me out,” I said.

  He blinked at me, clearly trying to collect his scattered wits. “You want to go out on a date?”

  “I don’t know what your experience with women is,” I said, “but I’ve never actually been on a real date. I kind of lost my virginity in the back of a car when I was seventeen, which was not such a great experience, by the way. Until you started kissing and touching me, I thought sex was pretty overrated. Anyhow, that backseat fumbling around is about the entire extent of my love life.

  “I’ve never wanted to get involved with anybody. It wasn’t fair. Not with Aunty Mommy hanging over my head. It was bad enough she went after the girls. I wasn’t dragging anybody else into my shit storm of a life. My point is I need to start in the kiddie pool before jumping into the ocean.”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Was that disappointment? Irritation? Then in one fluid motion, he opened his eyes and crawled back onto the bed. He settled with his knees on either side of my ankles, my upraised knees between us. He leaned forward, grasping my head in both hands.

  “We’ll go as slow as you need to. I know you don’t need me to tell you, but any time I cross lines, kick my ass. I’ll back off.”

  With that, he captured my lips in a slow, sweet kiss that melted my bones. When he pulled away, I was gripping his arms to keep from flying away.

  “That’s your idea of the kiddie pool?” I sounded as shaken as I was.

  He grinned. “Maybe you should kick my ass.”

  “I can’t. You turned me into marshmallow fluff.”

  “I’ll have to remember that for future reference.”

  “This doesn’t do anything to solve our sleeping problem.”