I had a feeling of relief wash over me. It was like he was a giant band-aide wrapped around me. We sat there for a long time while my breathing leveled and the tears dried up.
He pulled my face around to meet his eyes. “Can I help?”
Those words were so simple yet impossible. I looked to the ceiling as I answered, “I don’t think anyone can. There are just a lot of things I never dealt with and sometimes they come to the surface and it gets dark for me.” I pulled my eyes back to his. “Look, I’m really sorry you had to see that. Actually, no one has ever seen me shed a tear much less a fucking breakdown. It was uncalled for and I apologize.” I wiped my eyes with his sleeve and began to pull my legs up.
He easily held me down. “Do not apologize for feeling, Gemma. I’m glad I was here to help you through.” His smile was so genuine that I nearly lost it again.
Everything was just so overwhelming. In thirty-six hours my entire life was tipped upside down. Emberly Landon never got involved, never showed her cards and certainly never fell in love. So with all these things seeming to happen at once my brain began to lock down.
I sat there staring at him for a long time not knowing what to feel or what to say. I felt as though an alien had abducted my body and was using it to experiment.
Nothing felt the same. Everything had shifted.
He leaned in to kiss me tenderly on the lips. I smiled because it just felt so fucking good to let the hard wall down and stop pretending to be so put together when I really am just many pieces scattered around. He was someone that could help me put them back together. My dad would have loved him, I thought.
He stood and pulled me up wrapping his arms around me as we walked toward the stairs. “That shirt looks a hell of a lot better on you than me.” He grinned wickedly.
“Of course it does, it’s the nipple rings.” I winked.
He moaned in my ear. “Fuck yes.”
We climbed back into the insanely comfortable bed and sighed in unison. The wall of windows in front of us provided much entertainment. The squirrels that scurried up the trees were more in line with the size of a cat. I couldn’t believe it. I looked toward the west and noticed several moose grazing on the bushes. I just snickered to my-self thinking about the polar difference of what is life in NYC.
After a while he leaned in to my ear. “Do you want to tell me about it?” His accent took me back to that time in my life immediately each time he spoke.
I lay my head back on the pillow willing my voice to work. “It’s a really long sad story.”
He propped his head on my pillow. “I have all the time in the world for you, Gemma.”
I sighed. It took a minute for me to gather myself but when the words started flowing a peace settled into my soul. I told him ever detail of my life. I catalogued my adolescent years and the pain that I carried around. He winced at the stories of my mom and dad. It felt so good to let someone in that I couldn’t stop. For hours I rattled on and gave up everything about myself up until that very morning.
He was smiling devilishly when I described my first encounter with him and the very thoughts I’d had about him every minute of the day.
“What are you smiling so smugly about?” I asked.
“Because I like to know that I affect you the way you have me. I thought it was just me losing my fucking bonkers. Good to know you were right there with me in that dog fight.”
I smirked. “I’m too much of a bitch to lose my bonkers, sweetheart. They run away screaming most of the time.”
He buried his head in the pillow and laughed. He then sobered and looked at me seriously. “I don’t make light of your life, Gemma. That is truly a heartbreaking start. I’m sorry that you carried that inside all these years. That had to have been tormenting.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Like I said, I’m too much of a bitch to let it break me.”
He smiled. “You only want people to think you are a bitch but really I see a gentle soul.” He kissed my fingertips as he added, “And a fucking tigress in bed. Those nipple rings just make my body ache.” He growled.
I slid my finger across his lips. “People just don’t know what they’re missing.” I smiled.
“Fuck no they don’t, Gemma, no they don’t.”
He ended that with a kiss that made my thighs burn. He slipped his hand under the sheet and between my legs making me gasp. The rest of the day and night were spent in a marathon of orgasms and nipple play.
My stomach made it known that food was needed. He grinned and pulled me from the bed. We ended up in the kitchen and I stared in wonder as he began pulling fresh vegetables from the refrigerator. In this light I could clearly see his tattoo and it was strangely beautiful and sexy as hell.
It started on his right pectoral and stretched across his shoulder and wound down his bicep stopping right at the top of his forearm. It was intricately etched. The black ink showed intensely on his pale skin. There were gray shadows dancing in the depths of his defined muscles. I couldn’t stop staring at it—it had me entranced.
He saw my open ogling and grinned wide. “You like that, do you?”
I smirked. “I suppose I could get used to it.”
He laughed out loud. “Well I certainly hope so, Gemma. It’d be hard for me to wash off.”
I grinned dipping my head on the counter and laughing. I’d never been this casual with someone and it felt indescribable.
I watched him dice the potatoes and onions then he minced several cloves of garlic. The delicious aromas were tickling my nose. “So, tell me about Cailen Carmichael. How many hearts are shattered around the globe in your wake?”
His expression changed a bit and became more serious. He didn’t answer right away and I thought he was going to blow it off but then he raised his eyes from the counter.
“I’ve never been with anyone long enough to let them get invested. I’ve never been with anyone I wanted to get invested with.” He qualified.
He walked around the island and rested his legs between mine in the stool and cupped my face. “Until you slammed me down that first night I met you. I knew then there was no use fighting it. You owned me from the moment I realized how different you really were. And then that second night when I saw that look in your eyes it nearly broke my heart and trust me I didn’t know I even had one to break.” He placed a light kiss to my lips. “You are most certainly going to leave a shattered heart in your wake, Gemma.”
That rocked me. I was speechless.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, love, I don’t expect a big profession of love. Just allow me to make you smile and play with those delicious nipple rings and I will be one happy man.” He kissed me and spanked my ass before he walked back over to the food and continued his culinary magic.
His body was ridiculous. I watched the muscles twitch with each chop of the knife. His boxer briefs accentuated that beautifully big penis and those delicious V muscles that were screaming at me. But what really had me were those long lean legs. His skin was almost bare of hair and his pale color was almost luminous around his calves. Good grief, I could get lost looking at that sheer perfection.
As is usually the case he was smiling wickedly catching me troll his body with my eyes.
This time I was unrepentant.
“You’re not the only one that can appreciate a fine form—I’m not known to exercise restraint in the bedroom, you’ll soon find out.” I reached up and gave a light pinch to my nipple ring and he nearly cut off his finger.
He lay the knife down and began prowling over.
I held out my hand.
“Food first, please. Then I’ll thoroughly bake your mind in the bedroom.”
His smile was blinding as he turned back and finished his work at an insane pace.
When he plated the beautiful creation I was ridiculously impressed. He had roasted lamb chops with a cherry sauce and served it atop a potato hash with fresh asparagus. I devoured my plate. If I could have licked the bone clean I wo
uld have. The man knew how to cook and I was in heaven.
He cleared my plate and all but yanked me from the chair and ran up the steps. I giggled the entire way—men, always in such a hurry to rush the good stuff. When he started for the bed I pulled his arm and led him to the shower. This was a good starting point for my magic ride.
I adjusted the water while he grabbed at my shirt and ran his hands all over my body. By the time the water heated we were both naked and the sight of him fully aroused made me moan.
Good grief.
I pulled him under the stream and let my hands run over his slick body ending on his hard cock. I’ve been with quite a few men but his was the biggest and the best feeling by far. When I stroked him I heard his teeth snap together and a sharp gasp through his lips.
“You like that?” He nodded and growled deep in his throat. “Want my lips around you? Want me to taste you with my tongue?” I whispered on his lips.
His eyes flew open and he grabbed my face sealing his lips over mine. It was carnal. I became more eager and trailed his neck biting the skin at his shoulder. He moaned and tried to slide his hands over my breasts but I stayed that motion.
I was going to please him.
I made my way down his chest and abdomen making sure I let him know how much I enjoyed his hard work. By the time I made it to his cock he was trembling with anticipation. I smiled; this is going to be mind numbing for the both of us.
I gently placed my mouth around it and let it glide to the back of my throat. He stumbled back against the tiled wall and let out a loud growl. I finished him off in less than a minute and enjoyed the feeling I got pleasing him that way. It was something I’d never experienced and I loved the way it made me feel.
He pulled me up, his legs trembling a bit and pressed me against the wall stretching my arms above my head and holding them as he claimed every part of my body. I had no control he was taking every bit. He wasn’t kidding about the nipple rings either. He licked and teased them until I felt my-self coming apart. My breathing became heavy and my head tilted back against the wall.
He spread my legs with his thigh and thrust inside me. It caused me to lose my breath while he rocked me against the wall. Within minutes I was tensed around his waist and I felt the blood rush between my legs and my nails dug into his back as I climaxed.
I heard him suck in a breath and tense as he hissed, “Gemma,” Into my chest.
We stood locked together for several moments letting the water wash over us and level our breathing.
He pulled his head from my shoulder. “Yes, you are most certainly dangerous for me, gorgeous. It’s going to crush me when you walk away because you have completely spoiled me. No one else is going to measure up, no contest.”
I sat there a little breathless and definitely fucking speechless. How could we possibly be so intertwined and wound up with one another after such a short impossible time? I just stood, staring at him while he had a wicked grin playing over his lips.
When I thought back over our time together I realized I’d basically been a mute. He’d interacted with me many times and I’d just been unable to formulate a single word. He probably thinks I’m a mental mute, and by my actions I tend to agree.
I think the reason I am so unguarded with him yet still reserved is that I know, deep down, he is just as fucked up emotionally as I am and we just gravitate to each other.
Like magnets.
He’s like my own personal balm. He puts the fire out and replaces it with a soothing calm. I leaned in and nuzzled my nose into the deep of his throat and inhaled. He has such a woodsy, spice to his scent. It made my hairs stand at attention and my blood burn.
But more importantly, the way I fit into the arch of his body—it’s profound. We meld together like ocean and sand—it’s natural and expected. Un-fucking-settling it is.
This is going to end disastrously, I know.
CHAPTER 3: BLACK-OUT
I believe we screwed the absolute sexual core out of ourselves over the last eighteen hours. When the sun began to rise I found myself extremely restless and confused and emotionally wrecked and just completely fucked up.
As if he was reading my mind—again—he smoothed my hair over my shoulders and whispered in my ear. “Oh Gemma, don’t think for one second that you will get rid of me this easily. I will haunt your dreams and every step you take. I have not had my fill of you.” He placed a kiss to my temple and caressed my body then added softly, “And I don’t think I ever will…” His voice trailed off as he sighed heavily.
I felt every muscle tense as he adjusted me closer to his body, which I didn’t think, was possible. He’d laid every card on the table these two days together and I’d barely ever admitted to a single feeling—desire. I just couldn’t; it would hurt too badly when he eventually does leave my bed, my arms, my life.
I looked at the clock—5:46. “I need to go. I have to get dressed and meet my team.” My voice trailed off as I tried to move from the bed.
“I have things here you can wear and your team can meet us at the location. There is no need for you to rush away from me this morning.”
He gave me no opportunity to argue. He sealed his lips over mine as he pulled me from the bed and carried me to the shower. By the time he sat me under the water stream I had no argument. I was putty in his capable hands, again.
We were giggling about a few outtakes on the shoot two days before when he led me to the closet. After a half an hour I landed on one of his outdoor shirts and a pair of his all-dry pants. He even yanked out a pair of hiking boots that I was able to make work. When all was said and done I looked like I should be on the cover of North Face. I thought it comical but he pawed me incessantly.
“You look better in my clothes than I do, Gemma. This is a crime against the fashion Gods and nature.” He pressed his lips to my neck and licked from my collarbone to my ear lobe.
I think my heart stopped.
I sent Pamela and Charles a text about the location and what supplies to bring. I received two replies simultaneously:
“Um, where are you???” Was obviously from Charles. He will inevitably need to learn how to address and question me. After two years he still manages to put his foot and leg into his mouth daily.
Then I got. “You got it. Already done. So, where are you, would you like us to pick you up? Pamela.” Ah, so diplomatic with her approach. That’s why I hired her—she’s just like me. Asking for the same information but its all about the delivery.
I ignored Charles all together and responded to Pamela: “I’m in no need of a ride. I will meet you at the location. EL.”
I turned to the kitchen following a delicious smell. Cailen was flipping an enormous omelet. There was fresh pressed coffee waiting with fruit and orange juice. I sighed because this is just more than I could hope for.
I pulled a mug from the cabinet and began pouring a cup of coffee. I furrowed my brows and pinched the bridge of my nose in thought. There was a question that had been burning my mind since we arrived and I needed an answer.
I walked to his side and propped against the counter. He placed the spatula down and put his hands on either side of my hips, pulling me close. He pulled the loose hairs from my bun behind my ear and searched my eyes. “What’s wrong, gorgeous?”
I took a quiet breath. “Would you tell me where that painting is from?” He had a flash of something indiscernible in his eyes. “Obviously, not right now but later?”
He took a few beats and I thought he was going to blow me off but he nodded. “Yes, I believe that is something you should hear.” He looked beyond my eyes lost in thought for several moments then added, “It’s my past and it was very dark for a long period. I just want you to trust me, ok?”
He looked at me as if he was about to confess a murder and I was the executioner. A panic set in because this is what I was afraid of—getting close to someone, letting them in and learning there are things that will keep us apart. I nodded, because th
at was the only thing I could do. My lips froze and my thoughts were racing.
He sensed my apprehensions and pulled me into a tight embrace. I didn’t return it at first but he felt so good and I thought, just one last time. I’ll let him comfort me just one last time.
Thirty minutes later we were in the car and driving toward our location. Luckily we were much closer than the bed & breakfast. After a little over an hour we reached the hike point and hopped out. He took my hand and led me to the trail. We walked in silence for a long while until he pulled me to a stop.
“Look, Gemma, I don’t want to ruin what we have found here. I’ve never felt anything remotely close to what I feel for you and I can’t fuck it up.”
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