by Ava Miles
His eyes gazed down at his daughter, and suddenly he could see it too. He leaned his head against Meg’s arm, needing the connection to her. “Oh, Mrs. K.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome stuff, Dad.”
“Dad,” he muttered hoarsely. “That’s going to make me either freak out or cry. Not sure which right now.”
“Oh, you’re going to do just fine. I need to get back to Grace.”
He didn’t look up from his daughter’s face. He realized Ella’s hair had the same reddish tint as her mother’s. “Tell Grace I…”
His throat seized up as he heard the ticker tape in his brain play again. I love her, it seemed to shout. Anguished, he looked at Meg.
“Tell her I love her and that Ella’s okay,” he said finally, unable to stop the words from swirling out of him.
She looked down, and for a moment he was afraid she was going to say something, but then she simply walked out.
Jordan blew out a breath. It had been dancing on his tongue for months now. Whether Meg delivered the message or not was her choice. Right now, he was feeling all the love in the Universe.
All too quickly, they took Ella to the NICU.
As he waited alone, he grew restless. He flipped through magazines. He got up and sat back down. He paced. He wanted to see his new daughter. He wanted to see Grace. He felt bereft without them.
Meg finally came back a little while later to tell him that Grace had finished nursing, and he could return to her suite. He was caught off-guard, so he muttered, “Oh,” like an idiot.
Nursing. Breasts. Milk. Yeah, Grace wouldn’t want to share that with him. She’d always been modest, and he didn’t expect a baby would change that. The whole nursing thing was a mystery to him despite all he’d read. The articles and books all indicated it was an important element of the bonding between a mother and child. But he’d also read how much fathers enjoyed being included in that bonding, and he’d hoped Grace might let him be a part of it. He’d have to wait and see.
When Jordan entered the suite again, his bones melted like wax. Grace was lying back with Ella tucked into her arms, her head tilted so she could gaze down at the little face. He walked over, feeling time slow. Grace looked up when he pulled a chair next to her bed. Her smile was so radiant that he could only grin right back at her.
“Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” she asked, pure joy cascading out of her like sunlight.
He nodded. Words were inadequate.
Grace handed him the baby, and he blinked down at her. Her little face, so peaceful, peeked out of the soft pink blanket. She seemed to be sleeping.
“You don’t have to share her,” he heard himself say.
Grace only smiled all the brighter. “Sure I do. Ella needs you too.”
Jordan cuddled her close to his chest. “Ella,” he said directly to his daughter for the first time and felt her stretch like she was already responding to her name.
When his eyes met Grace’s, he couldn’t look away.
Chapter 12
Grace ended up staying in the hospital for four days because of the C-section, and after weeks of bed rest, she was chomping at the bit to get out.
But Ella made everything worthwhile. She seemed to eat all the time. And when she stretched her little arms or cracked her eyes open, Grace felt so much love well up inside her, she was sure she would overflow with it. Then there were the practical matters of learning how to breastfeed and change the baby’s diaper carefully with the umbilical cord still intact, but Grace reveled in it.
When he wasn’t at the hospital, Jordan oversaw the rapid moving of Grace’s things from her apartment to the new house with Tony’s help. The baby’s room was already set up—had been for weeks—which was all Grace really cared about. So long as she had a bed to sleep in, it didn’t matter.
Jordan mentioned his house next door had just been finished as well. He seemed a little stressed about his own move, but Grace couldn’t be sure if it was because the reality of their new living arrangement was upon them.
Even though Ella had arrived early, the doctor said she could come home with Grace; her lungs were developed enough, thank God, and her birth weight was solid. Truth be told, if they’d made the baby stay, Grace would have stayed too. There was no way she was leaving her baby girl.
The doctor also said Ella needed to put on more weight, and Jordan agreed, commenting that she weighed less than a football. She certainly wasn’t much bigger than one. She seemed so small in Jordan’s massive hands, but Grace loved the way he looked down at her with a sense of wonder.
Of course, she did the same.
Leaving the hospital proved nerve-wracking considering all the press the Dean baby was generating. Word had leaked out, but Jordan had promised he had a plan to keep them out of the media’s grip.
They snuck out the back of the hospital as Jordan’s PR person gave a press conference near the front entrance. Black SUVs flanked their vehicle when they were a few blocks from the hospital. Jordan had told her he’d hired professional bodyguards for their family and asked her to trust him. Grace didn’t feel like she had a better option, but it was all a bit intimidating.
They sailed along the interstate, and a little tension eased from Grace’s chest when she realized they hadn’t been followed. Jordan took the exit to their new place and wound around two-lane highways before turning onto a side road named Georgia’s Place. Their compound was buried well behind the main road, but Grace knew that wasn’t going to stop the jackals. They would be lying in wait.
Grace reached for her mother’s hand as they neared the gated entrance. Media trucks were camped outside, just as she’d suspected, but beefy men in all black with ear mikes herded the animated press corps back as the black wrought-iron gate swung open.
“It’s all right, Grace,” Jordan said, catching her eyes in the rear-view mirror. “The press can’t see inside the car, and they won’t get onto the property. You and Ella are perfectly safe here.”
In that moment, she couldn’t ask what would happen when they tried to leave.
“There will always be a guard at the gate, okay?” Jordan said, a hard edge to his voice.
Her mom bumped her in the shoulder. “If the guards don’t do their job, we’ll just call Jordan’s teammates. They’ll put the fear of God into any would-be pursuers.”
Jordan gave a fake laugh. “You know it. My Once Upon A Dare guys can’t wait to meet Ella once the season is over. They’ve got our backs too.”
Grace could only muster a weak smile.
They passed through the oaks lining the lane. Grace loved that the property was large and mostly wooded. The trees looked like happy giants eager to protect them.
As they drove further down the road, Grace took in all the changes from the last time she’d been here. Before it had been early spring, and now it was mid-summer. The grounds looked lusher somehow. Grace recognized a variety of trees she hadn’t noticed before: magnolias, cherry, Bradford pears, dogwoods, and some lovely Chinese maples clustered in an artful display.
When they reached the fork in the lane, Grace let her gaze follow it. Jordan’s house rose from the ground with such majesty that her chest tightened. If her house’s purpose was to attract visitors, his was to wow and impress. The design of the two-level house was sleek and modern. There were balconies and arches cascading across the front as if in perpetual motion. To Grace, it was reminiscent of Barcelona’s architecture, which she knew he loved.
Crepe myrtles flanked a small rose garden leading from Jordan’s house to hers, separated by a cheery yellow garden gate. She could tell the installation was recent from the freshly planted grass, the square sod lines still visible. More crepe myrtles flanked the fence along their properties. Their blooms were bright red and white.
He drove down the lane to her house and pulled to a halt in the circular driveway. Meticulously groomed bushes and hedges rode low on the ground before her front porch.
&
nbsp; Grace’s diaphragm tightened. This was her dream house—no, it was hers and Ella’s. And that modern one only a short distance away was Jordan’s. Seeing their two places, so different and yet so close together, only magnified the sense of separation between them.
For years, Grace had wanted to raise a family in this beautiful yellow house—yet her new home was in Atlanta and not Deadwood, and she was going to live there as a single mother with her new baby. It took effort not to give in to tears.
All her old dreams were gone, and if not for Ella, she wouldn’t even be here with Jordan.
“My goodness,” her mom whispered, releasing a slow breath. “It’s the exact image of the house in Deadwood. I…wasn’t prepared for that. Despite what you told me. Oh, Grace.”
She gripped the hand her mom held out and let her gaze rest on Ella. They would make it a home together. Even if Ella’s daddy lived next door instead of at home with them. She was already worrying how she would explain that to Ella as her daughter grew older.
To Grace’s relief, Jordan came around to help her with the car seat. The bed rest had made her a little weak. Or maybe it was walking into her new home with her baby and Jordan.
“We can put Ella in the bassinet upstairs after I’ve given you the tour,” Jordan said, holding Ella in her carrier. He forced a smile and led the way down the flagstone path to the front porch.
He opened the door and let Meg and Grace precede him into the house. Her mom muttered, “My goodness,” as Grace’s mouth dropped open. She knew Tony had helped him, but she hadn’t expected her things to be arranged with such care and skill.
It already looked like home. Her farm table was arranged in front of bay windows to the left of the kitchen. Her couch and loveseat were situated in front of a fireplace on the far wall. Her coffee table sat in the center, her cooking magazines and coffee table book of Italy arranged amidst her assortment of vanilla-scented candles. A sizeable flat-screen television, which had not come from her apartment, stood across from the couch. She would have to talk to Jordan about that later. Her pictures of Italian bridges and Parisian café scenes hung on the walls. Of course, there were some blank walls. Jordan had told her he and Tony wouldn’t fill the house beyond what they thought appropriate, saying Grace needed to make her mark.
But the two men knew her so well, there wouldn’t be much for her to do. The style fit the open floor plan to a T.
“So, what do you think?” he asked, easily holding Ella’s carrier. “Did we do okay?”
He seemed as nervous as the rest of them. They all knew what this house meant to her—and what it wasn’t.
Grace caught sight of her mother’s face as she turned to look at him. Her mom looked as stunned as she felt. “It’s…” She searched for the right word, seeing how tight his shoulders seemed. “It’s beautiful, Jordan.” Like I’d always imagined the house in Deadwood looking.
He smiled and let out a breath. “Whew! What a relief. Tony and I were sweating bullets. Let me show you the rest.”
She followed him through the rest of the bottom floor, which sported a gym, a small office, and a cozy sunroom filled with houseplants from her apartment. It looked out onto an impressive gray flagstone patio with a fire pit. A collection of wrought-iron patio furniture with thick red cushions fanned the area. Candle pillars of varying sizes and potted plant arrangements spilling from exotic containers complemented the inviting space.
“Those aren’t mine,” she said, loving what he’d done, but worrying about the boundaries she felt they needed to set. “You know how I feel about you spending money.”
He gave her a playful wink. “Ella wanted it for you—for taking so much time off to make sure she arrived so beautiful and healthy.”
So that was how it was going to be. She felt her heart tear a little. “You get a pass this time.”
“Being a new daddy with the best little girl in the world makes me feel pretty exuberant,” he said, leading them to the main staircase. “I want her to have everything.”
Even though she knew the upstairs had four large bedrooms, it still seemed huge after her small two-bedroom apartment. The two guest bedrooms were both tastefully decorated in styles Grace would have chosen.
“I’m going to take the navy room while I’m here, Grace,” her mom told her as they walked down the hall.
“I’m glad you’re staying for another month, Mom,” she said, relieved she wouldn’t have to adjust to two huge life transitions alone. Being a nurse, her mom’s reasons for staying had been more practical. She’d wanted to give Grace’s incision enough time to heal.
“I have to see you and Ella settled,” her mom said. “Does this room face east, Jordan? I like having the sun stream in when I wake up.”
“It does,” Jordan said.
A farm girl at heart, her mother liked to rise with the sun. “I’ll make sure not to sleep on that side then,” Grace added. “After working late at the restaurant, I’ll want the dark in the morning.”
“Oh, I know,” Jordan said, and the timbre of his voice reminded her of all the mornings they’d awoken together in total darkness and made love only to discover it was late morning when they rolled out of bed.
Her mom snorted, and Grace felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“Let’s check out my room,” Grace said, wanting to give him a playful shove for that comment. In the old days, she would have, but things were different between them now.
“This way,” he grandly gestured, and so she entered the master suite ahead of him.
The room had a recessed ceiling with a plantation-style fan above Grace’s bed. Her furniture was largely arranged like it had been in her old bedroom, although this room was much larger.
“You’ll sleep with the angels in here, Grace,” her mom said. “It’s beautiful, Jordan.”
“Yes, it is,” she said, running her hand along her comforter, eager to ground herself in the familiarity of her things. The familiar floor plan intermixed with her treasures made her feel small and somewhat uncomfortable.
“You made some adjustments here too,” she said, seeing the master bath with a Jacuzzi tub, a sleek vanity with not one but two sinks, and a steam shower. The walk-in closet was two times larger than her last one and lined in cedar.
“Stop thinking about the money,” Jordan ordered curtly and walked out of the room with Ella.
She wasn’t just thinking about money. Grace realized she was going to have to stop comparing it to her dream house in Deadwood. And so, she said goodbye to it in her heart, resolved to make peace with this house and this life she was living. Otherwise she would be miserable, and that’s not how she wanted things to be.
“I still can’t get over this, Grace,” her mom said in an undertone, putting her arm around her. “Seeing this house will give your father chills.”
“I don’t want to speak about the house in Deadwood again, Mom,” she told her.
Their eyes met, and her mom nodded.
“Grace, come look at how the nursery turned out!” Jordan called.
When Grace walked in, she pressed her hand to her mouth. She’d seen pictures and given her input from the hospital, but it moved her something fierce to see her new daughter in the room she would call her own.
Jordan set Ella’s carrier down on the white frilly daybed lining the wall and sat beside her. “See, she’s smiling. I knew you’d like your room, sweetheart.”
Tears spilled down Grace’s cheeks as she took in the scene. However they had arrived here, they were a family—not a perfect family, but a family nonetheless.
“It’s so beautiful, Jordan,” she said in a hoarse voice. “All of it. Thank you.”
He looked up, the corners of his eyes tense with concern. “You’re welcome. I just want you and Ella to be happy. That’s all I care about.”
She gave him a teary smile, and he quickly looked away, his ears red with emotion.
“Be hard not to be happy in this room,” her mom said, t
ouching the white crib. “It’s like baby dream land in here. I wish we could have given you kids a room like this growing up, but we did the best we could.”
She hugged her mom. “We had each other, and that’s all that mattered.” And it was true. She’d been happy growing up in the old house that blew a fuse if someone ran the dishwasher and microwave at the same time. She and her brothers had managed to share one bathroom without too much conflict. It was the only life they’d known.
But Jordan’s life was bigger than that. So was hers, by association, if she was being honest with herself.
Grace picked up a giraffe from the various stuffed animals in the toy chest and hugged it. The pillows decorating the room were shaped like numbers and letters. One group spelled their daughter’s name and another spelled love. Grace liked that best of all.
The wall mural Jordan had insisted on had turned out great. As they’d discussed, it depicted a cartoon-like safari scene. Giraffes, elephants, monkeys, and cute little lion cubs stood in artfully arranged poses near trees or out in the savannah grasses. They all had smiling faces, and Grace couldn’t help but smile too over the fullness in her heart.
“It will be a while before she can appreciate all of this,” her mom said, sitting beside Jordan on the day bed. “But when she does…oh…she’s going to have a lot of fun in here.”
Grace walked over to the rocker she’d bought for herself from a local carpenter. When she sat in it, the wood seemed to hug her body. “Oh, I like this.”
Her eyes tracked to the changing table stocked with little baby diapers. She still couldn’t believe how small they were. Ella suddenly stretched and yawned without opening her eyes, melting Grace’s heart. Jordan reached down to adjust her pink baby cap, stroking her cheek like he simply couldn’t believe she was his.
“Let’s go downstairs and make some lunch,” her mom said, crossing to the door. “Why don’t you put her in her bassinet and turn on the baby monitor?”
Grace was reluctant to leave Ella upstairs, and her mom seemed to know it. She gently pulled her out of the rocker.