She raised her brows. ‘Do you have a specialty?’
‘I started in general practice. Then I went on and studied paediatrics. I thought everyone knew?’ Then he shook his head. ‘I guess I haven’t really spoken to many people. I have my Diploma of Obstetrics from my GP days, but no real experience in that. Just the antenatal side of it. Not the delivery part.’
He didn’t look old enough to have done all that. Catrina smiled at him, decided she wouldn’t share that thought and shook her head mockingly. ‘We don’t say delivery any more. Especially in Lighthouse Bay. We’re Midwifery Group Practice.’
He put his hands up. ‘Midwifery Group Practice. And I said delivery. My bad.’
‘Very.’ She smiled at him. ‘Everything is midwifery-led and woman-centred. The antenatal clinic is drop-in and popular. When the mother births, we support her choice to stay or go, and she’s visited at home within the day after if that’s what she wants or she can stay for a few days in the hospital. Either way, we don’t call a doctor unless someone is sick.’
He put out his hands helplessly and pretended to sigh. ‘I’m defunct and I haven’t even started.’
She laughed. ‘You’ll get used to it. You should meet Ellie and her husband. Sam’s the Director of Obstetrics at the base hospital and fell in love with Lighthouse Bay too. And Ellie, of course.’ She smiled at the thought. ‘Sam moved here from a big Brisbane Hospital so we’re lucky to have him as an unofficial back-up in real emergencies when he’s not on-call at the base hospital.’
She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I’ve thought of someone who could mind Piper, if you’re interested.’
His face went blank and she hesitated. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet.
‘I’ll need to find someone eventually,’ he managed but she could see it cost him. She wished she hadn’t mentioned it now.
Then he said more firmly, ‘Sure. That would be great. I need to start looking.’
Trina thought about Marni. She didn’t regret mentioning her, though. ‘She’s a doll. A natural mother. Her twins are six months old and she’s just registered for day care status.’
CHAPTER NINE
Finn
FINN FELT HIS stomach drop. He wasn’t seeing the path or the ocean or the sky overhead. He shouldn’t have asked about day care. But something inside had dared him to. Something that wanted him to move on, as if he’d known he’d be catapulted into a decision if he put it out there. All his instincts wanted to draw back. Stop her telling him. Say he’d ask if he decided it was time. She’d understand. Not sure how he knew that but he believed in the truth of it.
Instead he said, ‘Would you recommend her?’
She looked at him thoughtfully. Kindly. ‘That’s tough because it’s not about me,’ she said gently, as if she could read his distress. Then she looked at Piper. ‘Marni could mind my child, if I had one.’ The tone was almost joking. He saw something that looked like pain flit across her face and remembered again there were people out there who did suffer as much as he did. People like Catrina. Left alone by the love of their life—without choice and unintentionally. Loss of love and no baby to hold like he did. Imagine life without Piper.
Catrina’s voice wasn’t quite steady but he could hear the struggle to make it so. It had been a very brave thing to say and he wanted to tell her that. Wanted to tell her that he understood. But still the coward inside him shied away from so much emotion.
Catrina said, ‘Maybe you could see if Piper likes her before you commit to work and see how she goes? Just an hour or two?’
‘That’s a good idea. Tell me about her.’
He saw her gaze into the distance, a soft smile on her face and a glimmer of distress, though this time he didn’t think it was for herself. ‘She’s a younger mum. Early twenties. She and her husband own the dry-cleaners in town but she’s a stay-at-home mum. Marni’s Mother Earth and the boys are six months old. Bundles of energy, healthy as all get-out, which is great because she nearly lost them at twenty-three weeks, and she spent a lot of time in hospital. As far as the midwives of Lighthouse Bay think, she’s a hero to us.’
He had to smile at that. ‘The Midwives of Lighthouse Bay. Sounds like a serial on TV.’
She laughed a little self-consciously and he regretted making light of the one stable thing she had in her life, hadn’t meant to embarrass her. ‘Don’t get me wrong. It’s another good ending to a story.’
Catrina seemed to relax. ‘It really was. Ellie’s husband, Sam, had been involved in research into preventing extreme premature birth in Brisbane, and thankfully he was here when she went into labour. Marni and Bob are a lovely couple who’d already lost an extremely premature baby daughter.’
Finn wasn’t so sure. She already had twins and he wanted someone who could concentrate on Piper. ‘How could she care for Piper as well?’ Finn was more uncertain now. ‘Sounds a bit hectic. She has twins and she’s doing day care?’
He caught Trina’s encouraging smile and suddenly saw how she could be a good midwife. Her empathy shone warm—he felt she understood and was reassuring him that he would conquer his fear of letting Piper out of his sight. All without putting on pressure. Encouraging him to test his own strength without expectations. Treating him like a woman in labour battling her own fear. Wow. She had it down pat.
Then she said, ‘She loves minding babies. And babies love her. Usually she’s minding them for free. We keep telling her she should become a midwife and I wouldn’t be surprised when the boys go to school if she’ll look at it. But, for now, she’s just starting up official day care.’
Absently he bent and stroked Piper’s leg at his side. ‘Maybe I could meet her before I talk to Dr Southwell? It’s a good idea to see if Piper likes her before I commit to work, though. You’ll have to give me her number.’
‘Or we could visit her. Meet her and her husband. See their house. They’re a lovely couple and live only a few doors up from you. In the blue pastel cottage.’
It was all happening too quickly. He could feel the panic build and squashed it down again. He could do this. Just not today.
Catrina touched his arm—the first time she had physically connected with him of her own volition—and again that frisson of awareness hummed where they touched. He glanced at her but her expression still showed only compassionate support. ‘It’s something to think about. Marni is just the one I know. There will be others when you’re ready.’
His relief made his shoulders sag. She must have seen it on his face. Was he that transparent? He’d have to work on his game face before he went back to work or his patients’ parents would run a mile.
He tried to make light of it. ‘I imagine every parent must feel like this when they have to go back to work. Torn.’
‘Absolutely. We see mums that can’t stay in hospital for one night after birth because they hate leaving the other child or children too much.’ She looked towards Piper and smiled. ‘I’d find it hard to leave Piper if she were mine.’
His face tightened. He could feel it. Some women could. Piper’s mother had no problem. And he’d be the one who had to break his daughter’s heart when the time came to tell the truth.
Catrina opened her mouth—he didn’t want to talk about Clancy—but all she said was, ‘The cave’s just around this next headland.’ He was glad she’d changed the subject.
The cave, when they arrived, curved back into the cliff and created an overhang half the size of his house. A few round boulders acted as seats for looking out over the ocean out of the sun. Or rain. Plenty of evidence suggested people had camped and made campfires there but on the whole it had stayed clean and cool, and dim towards the back. The sort of place young boys would love to go with their mates.
He could stand up in the cave easily and they stomped around in it for a few minutes before Catrina suggested they go the small distance further to the
glade so Piper could be released from the backpack.
The glade, when they arrived, had a park bench and table at the edge of the slope down into the bowl-shaped dip of grass. The bright sunshine made the grass lime cordial-coloured and the thick bed of kikuyu and daisies felt softer and springier than he expected when he put Piper down to crawl. Because of the sloping sides of the bowl Piper tended to end up back in the lowest point in the middle even when she climbed the sides and he could feel his mouth twitching as she furrowed her brows and tried to work out what was happening.
He pulled a bright saucer-sized ball from her backpack and tossed it in the centre of the glade while Catrina set their picnic bag on the table and spread the cloth. Piper crawled to the ball and batted it. Of course it rolled back down the side to her again. She pushed it again and crowed when it rolled back again.
‘Clever girl,’ he said to his daughter, and ‘Clever girl,’ to Catrina, who grinned at him as she finished laying out their treats and came to sit next to him on the side of the grass hill. ‘I can’t remember when I last had a picnic,’ he said as he passed an arrowroot biscuit to Piper and took one of the apples for himself.
‘I know. Me either.’ She handed him the can of drink and took a sip of her own. Then he heard her sigh blissfully.
‘We couldn’t have had more beautiful weather this afternoon.’
‘A bit different to this morning.’
‘That’s the beauty of Lighthouse Bay. We’re temperate. Not too hot for long or too cold for long. Always leaning towards perfect weather.’
‘Always?’
Catrina laughed. ‘Well, no. We do have wild storms sometimes. That’s why I have shutters on my windows and doors. But not often.’
The afternoon passed in a desultory fashion and once, when Piper dozed off in his arms, he and Catrina lay side by side watching the clouds pass overhead in companionable silence. He’d never met anyone as restful as she was. It would have been so simple to slide closer and take her hand but the man who could have done that had broken a year ago.
An hour later, on the way home from their walk, he asked again about the exact location of the day care mum.
‘I could come with you to knock on the door? Maybe meeting the family would help?’
‘Just drop in?’ Despite his initial reluctance, he could see that an impromptu visit could be less orchestrated than one when they expected him. And he had Catrina to come with him to break the ice.
It made sense. Not fair perhaps, but this was his baby he was considering leaving in their care, and he wanted a true representation of the feeling of the household.
When the door opened to answer his knock, a smiling red-haired man answered. Past him they could hear the sound of a child squealing and the smell of a roast dinner drifted out to tantalise his nose. He hadn’t had an old-fashioned roast for years. His mouth watered.
‘Can I help you?’ Then the man saw Catrina and smiled beatifically. ‘Trina!’
‘Hello, Bob. How are you?’ The man stepped forward and hugged her and Finn was surprised.
When they stepped back from each other she said, ‘Something smells divine. Lucky you—Sunday roast.’
‘You’re welcome any time, Trina.’ He grinned and looked at her companion.
‘This is Finn Foley. He’s a friend and I told him about Marni offering childcare and—’ she indicated Piper ‘—he and Piper have just started looking.’ Finn glanced at Catrina. Took a second to savour that she’d claimed friendship. She really was his only friend here.
She still spoke to Bob. ‘I wondered if he could have a chat with Marni?’
‘Absolutely. Any friend of yours and all that.’ Bob grinned at Finn. ‘Come in. Marni? There’s a dad here looking for information about childcare.’
Finn liked the way he said that. To his wife, with deference, and that he wasn’t committing to anything. Just asking. His nerves settled a fraction as he followed Catrina, with Piper on his back, in the door.
The room had been divided into two, with a kitchen and lounge on one side and a wall with doors on the other. Bedrooms, he guessed, unlike his one-room cottage. An extension had been built out the back with a big play room that overlooked the tiny fenced garden. Everything sparkled; even the toys strewn on the floor in the play room caught the sunlight and looked new and well cared for. The family warmth in the little abode made the tension drop from his shoulders and his eyes met Trina’s in acknowledgement.
A young woman crossed to them, drying her hands on a tea towel. She too hugged Catrina, and her shy smile eased the tension in Finn’s stomach like magic. ‘Trina. Great to see you.’
‘This is Finn, Marni.’ She turned to help Finn extricate Piper from the backpack—which he was pretty darn good at, but he had to admit it was quicker with help. And he liked her touching him.
‘Nice to meet you, Finn. You live a few doors down, don’t you?’ she said as she held out her hand. They shook briefly and he liked that her fingers were cool and dry, her grip confident.
‘Welcome.’ She smiled at Piper, who now sat on his hip, then turned around and pointed to two boys as if introducing her to them not Finn. ‘The one on the left is Olly, and the cheekier one is Mikey.’ She looked at Piper. ‘And what is your name, beautiful?’
Previously fascinated by the smaller humans, Piper looked back at the lady’s face, realised everyone was looking at her and then she clutched at his neck and buried her face.
Finn rubbed her back. ‘Piper can be shy.’
‘Of course she can.’ Marni indicated the rear of the cottage. ‘Come and sit out on the deck at the back and we’ll show you the play area and I can answer your questions.
‘So Catrina told you I’ve started doing childcare?’ The smile Marni gave Catrina lit up her face. ‘The midwives are my cheer squad. They’re all champions up there. If it wasn’t for them and the younger Dr Southwell, we wouldn’t have our gorgeous boys.’
Finn looked at the two chubby-faced little boys, one sitting in a blue tub of a chair kicking his feet and the other lying on his back on the patterned play carpet with a red spiral rattle. The little boy—Finn thought it was Olly—began to screw his face up, dropped the rattle and began to rock until he rolled over and lay on his stomach. The mischievous chortle he let out at the feat made Finn smile.
‘Clever boy, Mikey,’ his dad said. So he’d got that wrong, Finn thought. And then Bob gestured to his wife. ‘I’ll finish the potatoes. You take our guests and Piper out and have a chat.’
Finn liked that too. He could see they were a team and, despite having two babies, the air of serenity as Marni smiled made his trepidations settle. This sort of calm atmosphere looked perfect for Piper to learn about other babies and new adults.
A heck of a lot different to the busy, efficient childcare he’d had her in before. But Piper still clung to him like one of the stripy shells on the side of a rock pool and he remembered the hard times at the big kindergarten when he’d tried to leave.
Marni pointed to a scrubbed wooden table and four sturdy chairs. Two highchairs took up the other spaces. They all sat down and Marni put a soft-sided squeaky farm book on the table in front of Piper without making a fuss of it.
‘I am looking for two more toddlers. That will give me enough to cover the wage of the girl working with my husband at the dry-cleaners and then there’s no rush for me to go back to work. I’m hoping to stay home for the next year at least. In a perfect world, I won’t go back to work until the boys go to school.’
She smiled calmly at Finn. ‘But we’ll see what happens.’
So a stable place, Finn was thinking, and he wondered, if he offered to pay twice the rate, would Marni consider having Piper by herself, at least at the beginning so the young mum wasn’t pushed by the demands of four children? Piper would benefit and money wasn’t a problem. Finding someone caring and kind for
Piper would be priceless.
He tried to think of a question. ‘Catrina said you’ve just been registered. Having two babies seems intense to me. Piper can keep me busy and there’s only one of her.’
She glanced lovingly towards the two gurgling on the floor and then across at her husband. ‘I mind lots of children. Have always loved them and thought for a while we’d never be able to have any. But then the boys came along, though I spent a couple of months in hospital hanging onto them, so they are beyond precious.’
She shrugged ruefully. ‘I’m worried I might spoil them and want them to learn to share, not just with each other but with other children. Some extra income would help and my husband and I are both the eldest from big families. Our families are in Western Australia so we miss having lots of kids around.’
‘I guess childminding makes sense in that case.’
Piper reached out and picked up the book. Scrunched it with her inquisitive fingers. Barely audible squeaks erupted when she squeezed and a crooked smile tipped her mouth as she battled between shyness and delight.
All the adults looked at her fondly. ‘So, information-wise, what sort of minding were you looking for?’
‘I’ve been offered a position three days a week, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.’
Marni nodded. ‘Three is better than five for Piper. Especially in the beginning. Has she been in care before?’
‘Yes, poor baby, most of her life, when I worked. About fifty hours a week. But not for the last six weeks and she was becoming unhappy before that. I was thinking to start a half-day, as a trial, just until Piper gets used to it. If she gets too upset I’d probably not go back to work for a while.’ He shrugged his apology.
Apparently she didn’t need it. That serene smile drifted across her face. ‘Being adaptable is good around kids. One of the secrets. She’ll miss you if she’s had you to herself for six weeks.’ A quirked brow made that question.
‘I’m not even sure it’s what I’m ready to do.’
‘That’s fine. You’re fact-finding, which is very sensible.’
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