Sex, Lies & Stellenbosch

by Eva Mazza

  Jen looked down to hide the tears that were welling up. She smiled and waved her hand at Claudia to apologise for her emotions. Have I no fucking self-control? she thought.

  Eventually she looked up.

  “I’m sorry, Jen. I was playing psychologist. Maybe I don’t know how to engage with people any other way.”

  “That’s fine. You’re right. That’s the thing. I know we all have choices. I didn’t know that my choice would ultimately have a very lonely outcome.”

  Claudia interrupted her. “What choice?”

  “To devote my life entirely to my husband and children,” Jen said, knowing she had willingly pushed aside career plans after Brigit was born. “I didn’t know how to do it any differently. It just felt like it was the right thing to do. And look at me now,” she said, smiling with a hint of self-pity in her voice.

  Ten

  “What do you think you’re doing, Frankie?” John shouted.

  “I cannot believe it! You and Patty! You two-timing asshole.”

  John tried to free himself from her. He pushed her onto the bed, but she bounced back up at him as if she had been catapulted from a sling. Her open mouth exposed a set of bleached teeth. At that moment, she reminded him of the rabid dog his dad had to shoot when he was a kid.

  “Since I last checked, I have one wife, and it’s not you. You’re not my fucking wife!” he bellowed.

  John’s head bounced sideways as Frankie flat-handed him across the face. The slap had somehow made him realise that Brigit was still on the phone. He lunged to retrieve it off the floor, pushing Frankie aside as he did so. Fuck! He picked up the phone and shouted into it, “Brigit! Brig, are you there?”

  Silence, then, “I heard everything,” before the call disconnected.

  Oh Jesus!

  At the same time, Frankie was shrieking, “Hit me back. I dare you. Do it!” She was in his face.

  “Jesus, Frankie! Brigit. She was on the phone. She heard you, dammit, Frankie.” He sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. This revelation seemed to calm her down. “I’m sorry, John, I didn’t mean for her to…”

  “Please, just go,” he said.

  She left the room as quietly as she had come in.

  Brigit sat on her bed, legs crossed, shell shocked. She couldn’t believe her father! This was just too much to absorb, too much to digest. The one person she could count on had failed her, unreservedly. Her heart palpitated. She stared at her phone at the foot of her bed. An unexploded hand grenade. She jumped when it vibrated. Caller-ID read, “best dad”. She leaned across the bed to reach it and rejected his call. “Fuck you, Daddy!” she screamed.

  She paced up and down her bedroom, second guessing herself. Had she heard right? Did Frankie accuse him of cheating? Why? Why! She had to speak to someone! Her therapist was the first person to come to mind and she dialled her number then hung up. She couldn’t be certain this constituted an emergency to disturb her on a Sunday. There was only one person with whom she could speak. It didn’t take long for him to answer. “Lee!” she cried as she heard his voice. “I need to see you. Something dreadful has happened.”

  Lee was reading the Sunday papers. He was tired. He’d left the party later than anticipated. Frankie had been fixated on Patty and John. She was hell-bent on keeping an eye on them. And poor Jen; her speech had been caustic. He saw the humour in it, but he knew John so well. He certainly hated when the joke was on him.

  He answered Brig’s call immediately. He had spoken briefly to her at the party. But after that awkward afternoon it felt like they had both been avoiding each other; he had to admit, he had certainly been avoiding her.

  “Hey, Brig.” That is how the younger generation greet one another? His son answered all his calls with a “hey”.

  All Lee heard was, “I need to see you.” Brigit’s hysteria had made her inaudible.

  The last thing he felt like doing was driving to the city. But Brigit had sounded distraught, so he forced himself up from his chair, brushed his teeth, splashed on some aftershave and quickly changed into a pair of chinos and a t-shirt before grabbing one of many sets of car keys. He just hoped this wasn’t a ploy to seduce him. Surely she wouldn’t try again, not after he had blocked her advances? The front door slammed on his way out.

  Frankie had left the house early, mumbling something about helping Jen out, so there was no need to explain to her why he was driving to the city on a Sunday. He decided to take the Ferrari. The roads would be quieter, and he could really hit the open road. Driving a sports car at full throttle was something he very seldom got to do, so the drive, at least, was some consolation.

  He hadn’t even knocked on Brigit’s door when it opened. She looked a mess, her eyes red and swollen, her mascara smudged and her hair looking as if it hadn’t been combed in a year. He breathed a sigh of relief. She had no intention of jumping him!

  “My God, Brigit, what’s wrong? Has someone died?”

  “Figuratively speaking, yes, someone has just died.” Lee knew that Brigit could be melodramatic, and she wasn’t holding back. He had forgotten how hysterical young women were. Thank God I have a son.

  “Okay, make me a cup of coffee, and then we can sit down and chat. Try be calm, Brig. No one’s died, thank goodness.” He sunk into the sofa.

  Brigit didn’t move; instead, she blurted out: “It’s worse than death. My father is cheating on my mother!”

  Lee sat up. “Have you got proof, Brig?”

  “Yes,” she sobbed.

  He needed a whisky, never mind a coffee. He got up from the sofa and went to make espresso for both of them. Handing her one, he asked again, “How do you know?”

  “I was on the phone to Daddy this morning. I had WhatsApped him to say I wasn’t going to lunch. He hadn’t responded. So, I called him.”

  Lee looked beyond Brig’s tear-stained face. He could see a resemblance to Jen. “You’re still not telling me how you found out about your dad. Ag, Brig, it may not in fact be true.”

  “I’m trying to tell you, Lee!” Brigit answered, flustered. “It’s true because I heard Frankie screaming at him.”

  “What! Frankie? My wife?”

  “How many Frankie’s are there, Lee? She’d interrupted our call. She came in screaming at Dad about being a two-timing asshole.” Brigit laughed sardonically. “Dad hadn’t dropped the call, so I heard everything.” She wiped fresh tears on the sleeve of her dressing gown.

  A man’s worst nightmare. Being caught out by your wife is one thing, but being exposed as a lying cheat to your children? Eina! Poor John. Poor Brig. And poor, poor Jen! And Frankie? Lee was angry with her for making matters worse. Why couldn’t she have minded her own business?

  “Brigit, do you think your dad knows you know?”

  “Of course he knows! He realised I was still on the phone! I told him I heard everything.”

  Fuck! Lee thought. “Brigit, I, I don’t know what to say. Just that we’re all human.” He could see Brig prepare for battle. “Wait. Let me finish. I’m not condoning what your dad did, but maybe he was drunk. Wait, Brig. Hear me out. Who knows? All I know is, he made a mistake and he was caught. God knows, Brigit, it could be Frankie finding out about us. If we had done something stupid.”

  That stopped her. “Are you trying to say something, Lee?”

  “I’m saying that we all make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t think things through. And alcohol can be a very important factor.”

  “Well, you were drunk, and I didn’t manage to seduce you.” She was laughing.

  If he closed his eyes, it could be Jen he was speaking to. Brig hated her mom, but she was just like her. He smiled. “Brigit, I always think things through, drunk or not.”

  Lee thought about John. What the hell happened, that’s what I’d like to know? How did he allow himself to be seduced by Patty? He smiled. Easy. Everyone lusts over Patty. John was always in control. His mates had often joked with him that he was a dark horse, probably having load
s of fun behind their backs. At the club, while the others would lose face, he never once got out of hand. He was a good sport, but that was where it ended.

  “So, John, you’re not tempted by any of these girls?” Frans had asked him on their way back from the club one night.

  “Of course I am, but I can keep my dick in my pants, unlike you motherfuckers!”

  They’d all laughed.

  “Hey, John,” Lee had cut in. “I’m reasonably well behaved.”

  “Who wouldn’t be?” it was Lecherous Larry. “You’re married to Frankie.”

  “Kak, man,” John had retorted. “It’s his medication; it takes away the desire.”

  Lee had laughed at John’s joke. The fact that it was partly true irritated him. Frankie had an insatiable sex drive which he couldn’t keep up with since his diagnosis. He remembered their fight.

  “Lee!” she had screamed at him. “I love sex and you’re not interested.”

  “It’s the medication, my love. I’m sorry.”

  “Well you’d better do something, Lee. I can’t live like this.”

  “Are you threatening me, Frankie?”

  “No, I’m not threatening you. I’m just telling you that I am young and nubile. So best you get your shit together. That’s all.”

  It was true. Frankie was the babe his friends lusted after. It was Frans who always said that John managed to bag himself the catch of Stellenbosch, and Lee, the sexiest woman alive. “No wonder you’re such loyal husbands. You have a lot to lose.” This had made Lee do something he didn’t normally do: disclose personal stuff to his friends.

  “I’m not sure I’ve still got her to lose,” Lee had confessed.

  It was John who had asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Frankie’s been having an affair. But it’s over now.” The disclosure had stopped their banter.

  A considerably sober Larry had carefully probed, “How do you know?”

  “I made sure it ended,” was all he had been prepared to divulge.

  “Lee, are you listening to me?” Lee looked at Brig. “I said okay. You’ve added a different perspective. But now, what do I say to Mom?”

  “Nothing. Don’t tell her a thing. Maybe she doesn’t know. But if she does, I’m sure she’d want to keep this from you.”

  “And Dad?”

  Lee grabbed his keys from the coffee table and got up to go. “I don’t know. Give yourself a bit of time, Brigit. Remember what I said: we’re all human.”

  He saw himself out again, climbed into his beloved Ferrari and pulled off after generously tipping the beggar who had offered to look after his car.

  Lee drove home deep in thought. He had left a calmer Brigit, but his mind was racing. Patty was something!

  It took someone like Patty to seduce his friend. Ag, come to think of it, John always had a fascination for her.

  He put his foot down on the accelerator, allowing the car to move at the speed it was engineered to. He would stop at John first. He smiled. Pay him a visit.

  Eleven

  Brig’s phone rang. It was Pete. She reluctantly answered, wondering whether he had heard the shocking news.

  “What’s up?” he said. Brig didn’t answer. “Brig? You there?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t feel like speaking to him.

  “Dad WhatsApped me. Lunch is cancelled.”

  She heard her brother yawn. He was always so oblivious to the dramas unfolding around him.

  “Mom’s apparently fucked off to a spa or something. I love Mom, you know I do, but it’s Dad’s birthday. A bit hectic of her.”

  Brigit decided she was sick of being the only child who seemed to be in the loop when it came to their parents.

  “I have something terrible to tell you.”

  “This sounds interesting.” He sounded anything but interested. “Bae, can you leave me alone for two minutes?” Brigit knew exactly who he was speaking to. She was horrified.

  “Pete!” she scolded. “I thought you broke up with her.” She wouldn’t even utter Amanda’s name. “She’s divorced with children. She can only want one thing!”

  Pete mocked, “And so do I. So we well suited.”

  “Please, Pete, it’s really not funny.”

  “Okay! Okay! I hear you. Now tell me: what drama did you invite into your life this time?” Brigit knew he had no intention of breaking off his relationship, but she had more important things to focus on than Pete’s bad relationship choices.

  “Patty and Daddy were together last night, at the party!”

  Brig jumped as she heard her brother’s hand slam down on something hard. “I knew it!” he exploded. “Fuck, Brigit, why you telling me this? What am I supposed to do with this information?”

  “I don’t know!” Brigit screamed back at him. “What am I supposed to do? It’s devastating to find out that Dad cheated on Mom. Who would’ve thought?”

  Pete’s rancour came through loud and clear, “Really? You and Dad have formed such an alliance that you haven’t even bothered to take your head out of his ass to see that he’s not the angel you think he is!”

  Brigit found herself pouring a gin and tonic. She didn’t give a damn that it was virtually breakfast time. This could be regarded as a special circumstance. It was not lost on her that Lee had left her alone and miserable for the second time. What was lost on her was that she blamed Patty entirely for her father’s indiscretion. As far as she was concerned, Patty was the reason her dad had betrayed her mother, and his children in the process.

  “What are you implying? Daddy’s not sleeping around! This is Patty’s fault. Patty’s a slut. Everyone says so. I bet she’s been trying to get into his pants ever since she started working for Daddy. I bet she gets into everybody’s pants. Maybe that’s why she does so well in sales?”

  “You hypocrite!” Pete’s voice boomed. It seldom did. “Ms feminist with your constant blah-blah about women having the right to flaunt who they are. Two people are involved here, and you nail one to the cross – the one who happens to be a woman!” There was a brief pause. “You a self-righteous cow! Why don’t you fess up about your lover at uni?”

  “Pete! What are you talking about?” She didn’t expect the conversation to pan out this way.

  “The notorious, ‘lecherous lecturer’. Is this how you scored your cums, Brigit? Don’t you talk about fucking for gain.”

  She heard Pete’s fridge door open. He was downing something. Whatever it was, he always drank straight out the bottle. An annoying habit.

  “Are you implying that I got my cum laude because of Pierre?”

  “Is that his name? Well, that’s what most people think. Patty not too different to you, hey, Brig?” He slammed the fridge door shut.

  “How dare you,” was all she could say.

  “And how dare you, too. Now that your bubble has burst about Daddy, maybe you can focus your energy on Ma, ’cause she sure as hell is gonna need it. And I just want to say that whatever you do, don’t tell her. She doesn’t need to know, especially from you.”

  Brigit sighed. “I’m sure she knows. Frankie knows and if Frankie knows then Ma knows.”

  “Well, just keep your mouth shut.”

  She hated taking instructions from her younger brother. “Of course I’m not going to say anything to her!” Then she did what her mom and Pete accused her of constantly doing: she brought the conversation back to herself. “I can’t believe you knew about Pierre.”

  “Listen, Brigit, forget about it. We’ve all done things we not proud of. Just don’t go tongue wagging if you don’t want people to turn on you”

  He ended the call claiming he needed to “take a piss”. He really could be awfully crude, but he was kind. A lot kinder than she was, she had to concede.

  “Lee,” John said as he answered the door. He was the last person John wanted to see.

  Lee pushed passed him. “I hear you got caught good and solid. That puts us in a bit of a pickle, don’t you think?”
/>   “How’d you hear?” John asked defensively. He ignored Lee’s last remark.

  “Fuck, John, we’re best friends. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. But if you must know, I heard from Brigit, thanks to my wife who apparently let rip with you.”

  John froze. “Why did Brigit tell you?”

  Lee sat down on the sofa in the TV room. “I don’t know; maybe because I’m her godfather? All I do know is she’s very upset.”

  John walked to the bar to pour himself a scotch. “You want one?” he asked.

  Lee nodded. “I spoke to Frankie now-now. I asked what business she had kakking you out. Anyway, I apologise on her behalf. Bloody cheek actually, especially since she’s no angel.” He scratched his head with his Ferrari key. “She said Jen had phoned her this morning, crying. Ag, you know, I suppose they’re friends. Jen would do the same.”

  John didn’t say anything. He handed Lee his scotch. He remained standing.

  “She says she’s going to Delaire; she’s gonna join Jen tonight so she’s not alone.”

  John listened. Lee continued. “Jen’s broken, John.”

  “Do you think I don’t know she’s broken? I fucking hurt her, Lee. She’s a good woman and I hurt her.” He pulled on his hair. “But quite frankly, this has got nothing to do with you or your wife.” He gulped down his scotch.

  “You’re right. The major thing that does concern me, though, is Patty. Our group wasn’t comfortable about you poaching her from the club. We told you. We were worried, and you assured us everything would be fine.”

  John refilled his glass. “Jen wants Patty gone, so she’ll have to go. Anyway, things would be a little weird with her around.”

  He saw Lee’s eyebrows lift. “So, she’s okay to go?”

  John threw in some ice. “Not exactly. She’s threatening all sorts of things.”

  “And are we compromised?” John knew what Lee meant by “we”. He was afraid that he and their group were going down too. Well, fuck it. Fuck them all.

  John’s tone was resolute. “I don’t give a fuck any more what Patty says or does. I fired her because I have nothing more to lose. How much worse can it get? My wife saw us, and Brigit knows about us, so I’m pretty much screwed.” He looked at Lee who didn’t reply. “So, she’ll squeal to our wives about the club. We’ll admit to going.” John could tell by Lee’s facial expression that he didn’t quite agree with him. He continued, nonetheless. “We’ll get a slap on our wrists like wayward teenagers and maybe the cold shoulder for a while, but it’ll be yesterday’s news before you know it.”