Hustle & Heartache

by D. Gamblez

  She stood in a way that suggested she was royalty by straightening up and placing an imaginary crown atop her head. Then she looked me in the eye. “Yes, your highness. I’d be more than honored to accompany you to prom.”

  I could tell she was trying to meet my same level of intellect.

  “Your Highness?” I chuckled. “What are we, king and queen now?”

  She laughed too. Then she looked at me and spoke in a serious tone. “I’d be your queen if you wanted me to.”

  “What’ll I be, your servant?” I smiled nervously, not sure if she was joking or not.

  “You’d be my king. The world would be our servant.” I do not know why she said those things or where the words even came from for that matter, but somehow it felt right.

  “I’d be down for that,” I said, now serious as well.

  She put a hand on my cheek and let it slide down underneath my chin, tilting my head so that our eyes met. My 5’11” frame towered over her 5’7” frame, but at this moment, it felt as though she and I were standing taller than the universe.

  I should kiss her, I thought to myself, my heart racing. Damn, Audi. What are you doing to me?

  Her eyes closed and I took that as my cue, but as I began to lean in, the porch light came on and the screen door flew open, then Audi’s mother stepped out onto the porch with us.

  “What ya’ll doing out here all alone?” she slurred, no doubt drunk from the bottle of wine she was barely holding onto. “I thought I told you I didn’t want this nigga over here.”

  “Mom!” Audi shouted, no doubt embarrassed by her mother’s presence.

  “Don’t ‘Mom’ me,” Ms. Escobar slurred. “Now get your little fast-ass in the house and enjoy your party before I send all of your little friends home and shut this shit down. You may be eighteen now, but you still live in my house.”

  “I’m sorry, Dre,” Audi said quietly as she went into the house, her mother conveniently holding the screen door open for her. Before she turned and headed into the house, I saw tears of embarrassment pooling in her eyes.

  “I apologize, Ms. Escobar,” I said to Audi’s mother, hoping that I had not gotten her into too much trouble.

  As I turned to leave, Ms. Escobar grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me close enough that her breasts were pressed snuggly up against my chest.

  “I thought I told you to call me Eliza,” she said to me, the smell of alcohol assaulting my nostrils with every breath she took.

  “A’ight, then, Eliza...” I said, obeying her wish but taking a few steps back in case someone—specifically Pedro and his friends—decided to pop up and mistake our closeness for some form of intimacy. I’m not sure how it would’ve played out, but I know that if I saw a young thug all up on my mother, I’d be ready to kick his ass.

  “What you moving away from me for, baby? You scared of this kitty, huh?”

  “Why you always hatin’ on Audi like that?” I asked, ignoring her advances.”She do everything you tell her to do, but you always on her case. Why you gotta treat her like that?”

  Ms. Escobar took a step closer to me, and I thought she was about to slap me, but she just smiled and shook her head. Then she sat down on the porch and motioned for me to sit next to her. “Look at you,” she chuckled lightly. “Standing up for my daughter. You wanna be her man, baby? You know, I’ve always liked you, and I always knew you and Audi had a thing for each other, even when ya’ll used to fight all the time when ya’ll were little. But I also knew yo’ brother was a drug dealer, too, so I couldn’t have you around my daughter, because if you was around my daughter, then that meant she was around you, and that meant she’d be around your brother and all them drugs. You know I couldn’t have that shit, baby. Still can’t.”

  “My brother don’t live in G.I.no more,” I argued. “But even if he did, I would never get involved in that type shit he does. I ain’t trying to be the ‘birdman’ or the ‘trap king’ or whatever these niggas out here trying to be. I couldn’t put my mama through nuthin’ like that. She already lost one of us to drugs when my oldest sister overdosed, so I ain’t on that, Ms. Escobar. Uh, I mean, Eliza.”

  Ms. Escobar stared out at her yard for a long time. She was so still that I thought she had fallen asleep or had fallen into a drunken stupor.

  “Okay,” she said finally. It was so sudden that it startled me. “You want to earn my blessing for dating my daughter?”

  “Hell yeah,” I said too excitedly. “More than anything.”

  “She’s been moping around here all day because me and her dad didn’t get her a new car. I didn’t tell her about it in the first place, but I knew she’d overheard us on the phone talking about it. She’s always so damn nosy, that girl. Thing is, I don’t have the money for the insurance, so me and her daddy just decided not to get her a car this year.”

  She was lying her ass off. Of course she had the money, even if she did not have a job. Roy-Boy paid for everything and he gave her whatever she asked for, him having a job at the Bethlehem Steel Mill and all. Even the car that Audi had now, Roy-Boy was the one who put half of the money up to match the other half that Audi’s dad had put up.

  Ms. Escobar put her hand on my face and moved her thumb back and forth, caressing my cheek. “You know,” she said with a little sadness in her eyes. “Sometimes I get jealous of Audi. All these boys out here want her, but she don’t give them the time of day. I wish I’d been more like her when I was her age. I could’ve finished school and wouldn’t have had to drop out because I’d gotten pregnant with Marisol. I can tell she really likes you, though. You used to be so mean to her when ya’ll were kids. Why you so nice to her all of a sudden?”

  “I don’t know,” I said truthfully. I had no idea how Audi became the baddest chick in the hood in my mind. I’ve always seen her as the ugly little Mexican girl with the fine-ass older sister, but lately she had become better looking than all of her friends and her sister.

  “You know she doesn’t have a date to prom,” Ms. Escobar said, removing her hand from my cheek and smacking her arm, killing a mosquito. “Come on, let’s go inside. These damn mosquitoes get on my damn nerves.”

  But I was not ready to go inside just yet. I wanted to finish the conversation about Audi and the prom. “Ms. Escobar,” I said hurriedly as she stood up and grabbed the handle on the screen door. “I mean, Eliza.”I really need to get that right if I’m ever gonna have a chance at a future relationship with Audi. “You mind if I take Audi to prom?”

  She swatted at another mosquito, this one on her leg this time. “Look, if you wanna take Audi to prom, then take her to prom, but if she comes back with a broken heart or without her virginity intact−and trust me, I’d know right away if she’s had sex−you and Roy-Boy are gonna have a meeting in the backyard, you got me?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, holding my excitement inside. “I got you.”

  Ms. Escobar winced at the ‘ma’am’ comment. I could tell she hated to be considered old.

  “Don’t get too cocky, little nigga,” she placed a hand on her hip and pursed her lips. I have to admit, even at42, she was still a bad bitch. “You owe me a bag of weed for hooking you up.”

  I was about to lie, but she cut me off.

  “Don’t even try it. I saw your brother out there with Pedro and ‘em. That little nigga always got weed. Go cop me a bag, and we got a deal. I’ll even let Audi stay out past midnight, it being so close to graduation and all.”

  “A’ight, Eliza. Be right back,” I turned to go find my brother Elijah. Hopefully, he had some weed left. Me and Audi’s future possibly depended on it.

  I found Ms. Escobar in her room asleep in bed. She rarely drank, so the liquor must’ve been too much for her. I could barely see because the only light in the room was from the lamp on the dresser in the corner. After maneuvering my way through the dog shit on the floor from the Chihuahua−it looked just like that little Taco Bell dog from the commercials−who was now lying in bed with Ms. Esc
obar, I sat the bag of weed down on the dresser and tip-toed out of the room, but as I closed the door, it squeaked loudly from rusted hinges.

  “Roy-Boy?” Ms. Escobar said sleepily. “Is that you, baby?”

  “No, Eliza, it’s me, Dre. I put what you asked for on the dresser.”

  “Okay, baby. Yo’ dog done shitted all over the place again. It’s yo’ turn to clean it up, Roy.”

  I was about to tell her who I was again, but then I heard the faint sound of snoring and realized that she had fallen asleep.

  As I shut the door and started down the hall, nearly ran into Audi as she came out of the bathroom with a red plastic cup in her hand.

  “What’s that?” I asked with attitude. I did not indulge in too many substances and I hated when people around me did. Well...I did smoke a little weed every now and then, but Audi never did anything, so to see her with liquor in her hand was beyond normal to me. “Is that drank?”

  “Yeah, and?” she said smugly. “Nothing wrong with a little sip every now and then. What I wanna know is, what the fuck are you doing in my mom’s room? You fucking her now, is that it?”

  I was shocked by the accusation. For her to even think something like that made me question if I even wanted to get involved with her. “You ma’fuckas in this house crazy or sumthin’? You know damn well I wouldn’t sleep with yo’ mama. I wouldn’t do no shit like that to you, Audi, and you know it.”

  “And just how the fuck would I know that? I mean, why the fuck would I even care if ya’ll was fucking?” she chuckled. I could tell she meant it as an insult. “Ain’t shit going on between us, nigga, so you can fuck whoever you want to fuck. Shit don’t bother me one bit. I wouldn’t give your dusty ass the time of day anyways.”

  I knew she was just speaking out of hurt, but it still bothered me that she was speaking to me in that manner. Furious from her offensive comments, I snatched the cup out of her hand and went into the bathroom to pour the liquor down the toilet.

  “Give me my shit back, nigga!”Audi shouted, wrestling the cup out of my hand, but it was already emptied out, flushed, and gone.

  “Oh, so you a alcoholic now, huh?”

  “What the fuck you do that for?” she demanded, trying to sound angry, but I saw the tears welling up in her eyes and I knew she was just hurt by the thought of her mother and me fooling around.

  “What the fuck I do that for? Cause you don’t fucking drink, Audi, that’s why. You don’t do shit but go to school, and that’s why I like you.”

  “Not the way you like my mom, though, huh? Yeah, I know, nigga. That’s all you niggas out here want is some pussy, so go on back in there with my moms.”

  I knew I was beginning to get angry because my right eye started twitching and I began clenching and unclenching my fist, which was the usual telltale signs of me getting angry that I had become aware of over the years. “Look, shawty, I told yo’ ass I ain’t on that with yo’ mama.”

  “Then what the fuck were you doing in there then, huh, Dre?”

  “I had to take care of sumthin’, that’s all.” I didn’t wanna tell Audi her mother’s business. I didn’t know if she knew her mother smoked weed, so I didn’t wanna cause problems. Plus, I was no snitch.

  “You had to take care of something, huh? Yeah, I bet you did,” she said sarcastically. “You know what, Dre? You play this whole innocent neighborhood boy shit, but you really ain’t shit, just like the rest of these fake-ass niggas out here.”

  I had had enough. “You know what? Fuck this shit! Man, I’m out, shawty. But just so you know, I was dropping off a bag of weed for yo’ mama so she’d honor the deal that me and her made on letting me take you to prom tomorrow. But since you think I’m like the rest of these niggas out here, fuck it, then!”

  I stormed out of the bathroom and headed into the living room, ignoring people as they tried talking to me or tried handing me blunts or girls trying to pull me in to dance with them. I felt somebody grab hold of my arm, and when I turned to punch whoever it was in the face, I noticed that it was Audi. I snatched away and kept heading through the crowd, the music blaring loudly as the crowd of people sang along to 2Pac’s All About U track.

  As I neared the front door, I glanced back to see if Audi was still behind me, but the only person I saw was my brother Elijah dancing with the Suzy Q twins, Makita and Jakita “Coco” Brown. The twins had on matching outfits; tight black jeans, pink cropped-top, and red, open-toed high heels. You could barely see their faces in the dim lighting because of their dark skin tones.

  My brother was in between them with a hand on each of their big, round butts. He glanced up and smiled when he saw me standing there.

  “I’m fucking these hoes, brah,” he mouthed to me.

  I tapped my watch to indicate to him that it was time to go.

  As Elijah pulled away from the twins, they grabbed hold of his shirt and started to pout.

  “Come on, E,” Coco pleaded. “Don’t leave yet.”

  “Yeah, baby,” Makita joined in. “Stay a little longer. Hey, we got some weed.”

  “Hell, yeah. And I know yo’ ass like to get lit. Come on, nigga, have a drink with us, Coco continued to beg ““Pleeeease,” they both begged in unison.

  “Sorry, ya’ll, but I gotta bounce. But I’ma hit ya’ll up later, though, a’ight?”

  “A’ight, then, E,” the twins responded in unison.

  When we stepped out onto the front porch, Elijah elbowed me on the arm. “I was just ‘bout to come get you, my nigga. We gotta go get Jackie from work, right? It’s almost 8:30, and I wanna grab sumthin’ to eat on the way up there.”

  “Yeah, right, nigga. You had a hand full of ass, is what you had. Two hands full, as a matter of fact. But I ain’t mad at you. Let’s bounce, dawg. “I pulled the keys to my Chevy from my pocket and hit the disarm button to turn off the alarm.

  “Dre!”I heard Audi shout behind me as I opened the driver-side door. When I turned around to face her, my intention was to tell her to go fuck herself, but I never got the chance because she ran right up to me, threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was only a peck on the lips, but it was enough to give me pause.

  “I’m sorry, Dre,” she said, wiping lipstick from my lips with her thumb, then putting her arm back around my neck. “Why didn’t you just say that you was giving my mom some weed?”

  “I didn’t know if you knew yo’ mama smoked weed or not,” I explained simply. “And I didn’t want you gettin’ mad at me for giving her some.”

  “What? Tsk! Boy, please. Yeah, I know my mom smoke weed. Shoot, that’s all her and Roy-Boy ever do. So...” she paused for a second. “So do you still wanna take me to prom?”

  “I don’t know. I gotta check to make sure that all these other hoes’ who’s numbers I just got when I was leaving the party want me to take one of them or not,” I said playfully.

  “I’d beat those bitches down,” she said with a smile.

  I eyed her intently, my gaze serious. “Yeah, ma. I still wanna take you to prom tomorrow. And we gonna stunt on these niggas and these bitches.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Tomorrow, then. I gotta get back in here and at least pretend as if I’m enjoying this lame-ass party. Plus I wanna keep an eye on things in case these idiots get too wild. Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow, Dre.” As she walked off, she kept her eyes on me to see if I was looking at her ass.

  I definitely was.

  I made no attempts to hide it either. She was throwing that juicy Mexican ass my way and I was definitely catching it.

  “Happy Birthday, Audi,” I shouted after her.

  Audi smiled and mouthed the words “Thank you” back to me before letting the screen door shut behind her.

  “Would you come on, nigga?” my brother said, pulling me from the lustful trance. “I’m hungry. And you still owe me for that weed.”

  “Chill out, dawg,” I said as I got in the car and started it up. As I shifted the gear and put the car in reverse,
I saw my brother smiling devilishly at me out of the corner of my eye.

  “What up with you, man?” I feigned ignorance.

  “You gonna eat her booty, ain’t you?” he smiled.

  I was definitely taken aback by that shit. “What? Nigga, you crazy. Fuck outta here with that freaky-ass shit. I ain’t gonna ever eat no ass. I don’t give a fuck how fine the bitch is.”

  “Yeah, you gonna eat her booty,” he nodded as if my denial was confirmation.

  I fired up a blunt in response to that weird shit. “Eat this, nigga,” I said, passing him the blunt after taking my two hits first in accordance with the puff, puff, pass rule. Then I turned on the radio and popped in 2Pac’s All Eyez On Me Album. Yeah, niggas out this way loved themselves some 2Pac. Even more so now due to rumors of his possible return or miraculous resurrection.

  As soon as the lyrics to California Love came on, Elijah started singing along. He didn’t know all of the words, but he changed the ending of the second verse.

  * * *

  ♪From Aetna to Chi-Town

  The Miller Projects and back down

  Gary is where I put my mack down

  Gimme love!♪

  * * *

  I just laughed at him as we hit the streets of G.I.

  Naomi

  I tucked my 6-year-old daughter M’kayla beneath the Looney Toons covers on her bed and kissed her on the forehead then I turned on her Bugs Bunny nightlight so that she would not come running into my room late at night and scaring me out of my sleep, claiming that monsters were after her. For the past two months she had been doing that. But ever since I bought her the nightlight of her favorite Looney Toons character, she had been sleeping much better

  As I exited her room, I turned back and saw that she had already fallen asleep. Her dark-brown, shoulder-length curls spread out over the Daffy Duck pillows as she snored lightly. She was my angel, and she was the only innocent thing in my life at the moment.