“That’s a shame, and some women know they be acting a fool over a man who couldn’t care less about them. But what goes up, must come down. He was such a gorgeous and sexy young man. I had hoped you and him would kick it for a while. It seemed as if you started to live a little and I was starting to feel very happy for you.”
“I thought so too, but things did not work out in my favor. I’m okay, though, Monica. No need to worry about me. When the time comes for me to meet the man of my dreams, trust me, I will.”
A call interrupted, so I asked Monica to hold on. I was surprised to hear Latrel’s voice on the other end, so I told Monica to call me back.
“Hey, Mama,” he softly said. A mother knew her child, so I could definitely tell something was wrong. My stomach turned in knots.
“Hello, Latrel. How are you?”
“I’m okay. I just wanted to talk to you and apologize for my behavior.”
“I needed to hear that, and I’m sorry for the way I acted too. I know you feel as if I’m too overprotective, but that’s because I love you, honey, and I always want the best for you. I meant no harm in speaking that way about your girlfriend, but things about the past make me feel the way I do. I don’t expect for you to understand, and I can’t promise you that—”
“We broke up,” he said.
The knot loosened in my stomach and I looked up and mouthed, “Thank you.” I could tell Latrel was upset, but I wanted to stand up and do the stanky leg. Needless to say, the news put a smile on my face. His career was my only concern, and I hoped that it was his priority.
I held my stomach with relief and hated to lie to my son. “I’m sorry to hear about your breakup. What happened?”
“Out of nowhere, she started hanging around one of my friends and it bothered me. I asked her what was up and she said nothing. Then I find out from old boy that she had sex with him. I’m just so damn upset, Mama. I seriously thought she was the one.”
Oh, no he didn’t, I thought. “Well, she wasn’t and you have so much to offer to the right woman when she comes along. I’d like to see you focus on your basketball career and I know you’re still doing well in school.”
“I’m doing great. I got a 3.5 GPA and that ain’t bad for no freshman, is it?”
“Not at all, baby. I’m so proud of you and there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you.”
“I know, Mama, and same here. I wanted to call, but you know how stubborn I can get at times. I inherited that from you, so you can’t blame me for that.”
“No, you got that from your father,” I joked, knowing that he’d gotten his stubbornness from me. “Have you spoken to your father lately?”
“Yeah, I talked to him the other day. What’s this I hear about you shackin’ up with a younger man? You had daddy hot and he couldn’t stop talking about what happened.”
I was so embarrassed. I knew Reggie hadn’t given Latrel details, or had he? “Latrel, I was alone and your mother met someone who seemed like a really nice person. We’re not seeing each other anymore, but your father shouldn’t be out there spreading my business.”
“Sorry it didn’t work out. I don’t care how old he was, and as long as he made you happy, I’m cool with it. I told Dad the same thing and he kind of got upset with me. But you can’t control who you’re attracted to or who you love. Who says people have to be a certain age to fall in love or the same color or different sex? I can’t promise you that I won’t fall in love with another white woman again, but whenever I meet somebody else, my concern is to make sure they love me back.”
I smiled, realizing that Reggie and I had done a phenomenal job raising our son. Any woman would be lucky to have him, but I still had my preference. “You’re right, baby. Cheer up for your mama, and when are you coming home again to see me? I miss you and we need to go somewhere and hang out together, okay?”
“Sounds good. I’ll probably shoot that way in a couple of weeks. If you rekindle your relationship with your man, I wanna meet him.”
“No, I won’t be rekindling my relationship with anyone.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too ashamed to tell you, but mainly because he’s a mover and shaker.”
“Straight up? Are you down with that?”
“Latrel, I don’t really know what a mover and shaker is. But I do know that he wasn’t the right person for me.”
“From my recollection, a mover is someone who moves drugs from one city to the next, and a shaker is someone who shakes down niggas who stand in their way. Some people might have their own definition, but that’s how I see it.”
“I figured it was something like that, and you know your mama don’t need that kind of drama in her life. Anyway, that’s behind me now and you need to move on as well. Love you, Latrel, and I’ll see you soon.”
“No doubt.”
Latrel hung up, and just for the hell of it, I danced around in my kitchen, pleased that I wasn’t getting a daughter-in-law any time soon.
Mr. Wright had me running around the office like crazy. But the busier I was, the quicker time moved by. It was already 3:00 P.M. and in two more hours, I was going home. I was working on Mr. Wright’s calendar for next week, and was interrupted by a call from the receptionist, telling me a package was waiting for me up front.
I was expecting FedEx or a UPS delivery, but it was a sweetheart bouquet from Edible Arrangements. The keepsake container was filled with fresh strawberries dipped in gourmet chocolate. A small teddy bear was attached to it with a card.
“This looks delicious,” the receptionist said, handing it over to me. “You’re so lucky to have a husband that cares.”
Lucky was not how I felt, but surprised I was. I carried the package back to my desk and immediately read the card: I’m really sorry ’bout what happened, but some things are beyond my control. When you wanna talk, call me. Roc a.k.a. Snookums.
I couldn’t help but smile, and it had been a little over three weeks since I’d heard from him. And for the first time, I had his phone number to call him. I held the card in my hand for a few minutes, contemplating on what I should do. I couldn’t deny how much I’d been thinking about him, and how did he ever know that chocolates were the way to my heart? But the controlling man who I’d gotten to know so well, and the one who seemed to love living on the edge, wasn’t the one for me. I tossed the card in the trash and inhaled the sweet chocolate melted on the strawberries. I put one in my mouth and closed my eyes as I thought about having sex with Roc. No matter what had gone down, I couldn’t shake those memories of him being inside of me. His sexual performance was the best and I thought about the creative things he’d done while exploring my body. While delving into the strawberries, I could almost feel his curled tongue circling my clit, his lips plucking my nipples, and his long fingers fucking me like a dick. Too bad things turned out as they had and I knew it would be a long, long time before I received pure satisfaction like that again. I backed out of my thoughts and when I opened my eyes, Mr. Wright was standing in front of my desk. I was so embarrassed, and it was a good thing that he couldn’t read my mind.
“That’s a good-looking arrangement, Desa Rae. But you really should be eating those strawberries in the lunchroom.”
I swallowed the strawberry and wiped my mouth with a napkin. “You’re right, but I couldn’t resist. They look so good, don’t they?”
Mr. Wright nodded and couldn’t keep his eyes off my strawberries. “Would you like one?” I asked, giving him a napkin.
He smiled, reaching for two. “Why don’t you get out of here for the day? It’s Halloween and I know you’re going to a party tonight, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not. I’m dressing up as a witch and giving out candy to the kids.”
“A witch? You should be a princess or something. Witches are mean, and even though you may sometimes fit that classification, you’ll still make a beautiful princess in my book.”
I laughed at Mr. Wright’s co
mment. I knew I’d been a force to be reckoned with lately, and calling me mean was putting it mildly. “Just for you, Mr. Wright, I’ll be a good witch, okay? I promise to be nice to all of the children who come to my house, but they must do a trick before I give them a treat.”
My Wright tossed his hand back. “Don’t count on it. Back in the day, I had to turn flips or show some talent just to get one lousy piece of candy. These days, kids don’t want to do nothing. All they’ll do is show you their candy buckets and grab handfuls of what you have.”
“I have to agree with you on that one. It’ll be fun, though, and I’m looking forward to seeing all of the creative costumes.”
Mr. Wright downed his strawberries and reached for two more before going into his office, closing the door. I gathered my things and left with the bouquet of strawberries in my hand.
Thus far, my witch costume hadn’t scared away any of the kids. I took Mr. Wright’s advice and turned myself into a beautiful witch with M•A•C lip gloss and shimmering makeup. My pointed black hat allowed my long hair to show and the black fitted dress I wore made me look like Bewitched from the ’60s. I had been treating kids all night, and during my downtime, I sat in the kitchen watching reruns of American Idol. The singers were pretty good, and when the doorbell rang, I rushed to it.
“Trick or treat!” the kids yelled while bravely standing in the drizzling rain that was about to pick up. I had given up on asking the kids to do tricks, and all they were interested in was getting candy.
“Take as much as you want,” I offered, trying to get rid of my candy. It was getting late and after this bunch left, my porch light was going off.
Some older kids came on my porch, leaving my bowl empty. I encouraged them to be safe in the rain and turned off the light as they walked away. American Idol was still on, so I removed my hat, making my way back into the kitchen. No sooner than I pulled back my chair, the doorbell rang again. I knew I’d turned off the porch light, but sometimes the light didn’t matter. I pulled the door open.
“Sorry, but I—”
Roc was leaned against my rail with his arms folded in front of him. He wore a black leather jacket and black denim jeans. A cap was on his head and his diamond earrings were sparkling in the dark.
“Don’t think I’m stalkin’ you or anything, but I feel bad ’bout what happened. I can’t get that shit off my mind, ma, and I don’t blame you for being upset with me.”
“Look, there are no hard feelings, okay? Thanks for the arrangement today and the thought was awfully nice. Truth be told, though, if that incident at the club had never happened, I still don’t think this would have worked out between—”
He quickly cut me off. “I disagree. It’s like you already had yo’ mind made up that we couldn’t do this, so I was fightin’ a battle, through yo’ eyes, that couldn’t be won. Give me another chance, a’ight?”
Another chance wasn’t what Roc needed. Everything about this didn’t feel right to me and I was doing my best not to come at him the wrong way.
“Before you say anything,” he said. “Can I come in or you gon’ let me stand out here in the rain and darkness.”
I sighed, knowing that Roc wasn’t going to like what I had to say. “You don’t have to stand outside, Roc, and you can always leave. I prefer that you let this go and accept it for what it is.”
He turned his head, looking away. I saw him take a hard swallow and it was so obvious that my rejection was not working for him. “Are you back with yo’ ex-husband?” he asked.
I was somewhat taken aback by his question. “No, but this has nothing to do with Reggie and you know it.”
“No, I don’t know,” he said, raising his voice. “I know he the reason why you being so uptight and shit. I know he why you bitter than a muthafucka and I know he the reason why you won’t let another man come in and do what he failed to do.”
Mentioning Reggie’s name always brought out the worst in me, and for Roc to stand there and throw this mess in my face angered me. I wanted to slam my door in his face, but instead I gave him a big piece of my mind.
“You know what . . . some of that may be true, Roc, but you’re the one who messed this up. I don’t like men who shake and move. I can’t accept a man who gets high and any man who thinks he can control women will never find a way to my heart. Maybe your other girlfriends accept that crap, but I’m not that kind of woman. You are wasting your time if you think I’m going to fit in and I guarantee you that will never happen.”
The wind was picking up and from the blowing tree limbs and scattering debris outside, I could tell the weather was about to get ugly. Roc stepped forward to shield himself from the drizzling rain.
“So, in other words, yo’ ex is standin’ in my way, right?”
“You’re not listening to anything—”
He cut his eyes and snapped. “I hear you, damn it! And I ain’t even wanna do this to you, ma, but sometimes women be so fuckin’ blind and don’t recognize a good thing when it’s starin’em right in the face. Yo’ ex ain’t shit, Dez, and he ain’t thinkin’ ’bout you. I’m the type of nigga who watches his back, and when that fool stepped to me at yo’ house that day, I had to see what was up.”
I was confused about what Roc was saying and this had nothing to do with Reggie. “What are you talking about? Why are you putting the blame on Reggie when he—”
Roc asked me not to shut the door and he ran in the rain to his truck. He retrieved an envelope, then handed it to me as I stood in the doorway.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Just open it.”
I opened the envelope and my hands trembled while holding the pictures. Tears rushed to my eyes, and after seeing Reggie lip-locked in the pictures with a skinny Asian woman, it just broke my heart. Yes, I’d known he’d been seeing someone else, but at that moment, reality kicked in. I dropped the pictures, allowing them to scatter onto the porch. My tears kept falling, and I used my hands to cover my face. I felt Roc’s arms wrap around me and he insisted, over and over, that the last thing he came over to do was hurt me.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t gon’ show those to you, but I knew he had a hold on you that you needed to let go. Let that nigga go, Dez, and let’s see what’s up.”
I sobbed even more, thinking about the hurt Reggie had caused me. This wasn’t supposed to be how my life turned out. He wasn’t supposed to be with another woman and I wasn’t supposed to be left with an empty house to come to every night. I had bills that I couldn’t even take care of, and my credit score had sunk to an all-time low. I had been living paycheck to paycheck and I had Reggie to thank for the ongoing turmoil that just wouldn’t go away. My tears turned into anger, then passion for Roc as he embraced me in the doorway. I pulled away from him, hurrying to wipe my tears. Lord knows I hated for him to see me like this, but I couldn’t help it. My chest heaved in and out as I stared at him without a blink. He hesitated to speak, looking very uneasy.
“Are . . . are you okay?” he asked. I didn’t respond, but my flowing salty tears that rolled on my lips showed that I wasn’t.
Roc backed me inside, but before he could close the door, I unzipped his jacket, dropping it behind him. I then pulled his T-shirt over his head and my hands touched his chest that I admired so much.
“Fuck me,” I told him. “Please help me make it through this.”
Roc took my hand, kissing the back of it. “I’m gon’ help you, but not like this. Let’s go lay down and—”
I was in no mood to go lay down and my aggressiveness showed just that. I ignored Roc’s comment and reached for his belt buckle. His pants dropped to his ankles and I got on my knees in front of him. I didn’t care that the door was still wide open, and when my hungry mouth went to work, neither did he.
“Dezzzz, dammmn,” he said with a fistful of my hair. “Baby, stop. Come here . . . I gotta tell you somethin’.”
The way Roc pumped in and out of my mouth, I knew he didn’t want me to st
op. It required both of my hands to stroke him and they were in an up-and-down fast rhythm with my soaking-wet mouth and tightened jaws. I felt the need to give Roc all of me. Reggie had me for many, many years and didn’t deserve all that I’d given to him. How dare me hold back on a man who seemed so willing to be there for me when I needed him. From this moment on, I had no intentions of depriving myself. The concerns that I had about Roc had to be put off for another day. All I needed was for him to help ease my pain. For the moment, he was working out just fine.
Roc didn’t want to come, so he backed out of my mouth, holding his ten hard inches in his hand. I removed every single stitch of my clothing at the door and laid back, offering him my throbbing pussy while in the darkened foyer. Roc did what he knew best, and as my legs fell apart, he went right between them. His peace sign separated my pussy lips, giving full exposure to my stimulated clit. While his fierce tongue worked me over, he used his other fingers to bring down my juices. Over the thunder and rain that picked up outside, I still heard my juices flowing. My back squirmed against the hardwood floor, as Roc demanded, required, and received my undivided attention.
“I love suckin’ this pussy,” he confirmed. “I missed this shit and—”
I wasn’t up to hearing Roc speak and his words took time away from his immaculate performance. I rolled my body over, straddling my thighs over his face underneath me. Just as he’d entertained my mouth, I entertained his. I rolled my pussy around on his lips, making sure that he tasted each and every part of me.
“Damn,” Roc shouted. “Work that muthafucka, baby! Do that shit, girl, I like how you puttin’ that pussy in motion.”
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