I tightened my thighs around his face, and as I neared coming, I backed away. I inched my body down to his hardness and prepared myself to give him the ride of his life. I kept a strong arch in my back, allowing my ass to do most of the jolting. It bounced up and down on him, but the tight grip of my insides caused him to blurt out even more.
He squeezed my hips, pumping himself into my awaiting wetness. “I knew yo’ ass was holdin’ back on me. Gi—give me all you got! That’s right, I want all of it! Turn around and work that ass in my direction.”
I turned, giving Roc a clear view of his entrances to my backside. His hands separated my ass cheeks and I’m sure he had the best view in the house.
“Um, um, um,” was all he could say. With each pleasurable stroke on top of him, he lifted my butt to the tip of his head, making sure that I felt every inch when I dropped back down. No doubt, I was in pain, but it was pain that I didn’t mind being on the receiving end of.
“Ohhh, Roc,” I whined. “Why does this have to feel so guuud? My pussy hurts, but you make it feel so good.”
“I don’t wanna hurt you,” he said, halting his actions and moving me over to his side. Right then, the thunder clashed, bringing lightness through the doorway. Roc kicked the door closed with his foot and resumed his position behind me. Doggystyle made me feel him even more, and each time I moved forward, he pulled my hips back to him. I spewed nothing but dirty talk to him and he fired back. I gripped my hair tight, mustered the pleasurable pain, and dropped my head low.
“That’s right, fuck it, baby,” I said, heavily breathing from my raging heart beat. “Fuck this pussy however you want to. With a dick like this, you . . . you have my permission to do whatever you want.”
Roc let out a snicker and took it to a higher level. He went from one position to the next, touching my body in all the right places and causing me to come six times that night. I had put on an impressive show myself, and if he had never experienced sex with another woman of my size before, then he now knew what some healthier women were capable of bringing to the party. A skinny and frail woman didn’t have anything on me, and this was one time that I felt as if I had something to prove.
The lights had gone out because of the heavy rain. I lit one candle and we lay sprawled out in my bed with many silk pillows around us.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman shake, rattle, and roll on me like that. That shit was off the chain, baby, and I hope like hell I don’t have to upset you again in order for you to put it in motion like that.”
I chuckled a bit while rubbing Roc’s chest. “I don’t know what got into me. Seeing those pictures hurt like hell, and it was the first time I’d seen Reggie with someone else.”
“Again, I’m sorry for the pictures, but I was just tryin’ to do my homework. I can’t take no chances with people I don’t know, and that’s why I had one of my boys check into it for me. He gave those to me, but I didn’t want you to see them. I was gon’ tell you ’bout that nigga, but I definitely didn’t want to bring that kind of hurt to you.”
I thought about the pictures, and in an effort to move on, I looked up at Roc. “Nobody could ever bring as much hurt to me as Reggie did. I don’t want to talk about him and promise me that you will never bring up his name again.”
Roc zipped his lips. “Case closed. But it wouldn’t be wise for me not to recognize the reason I’m here. I know the hurt from that nigga bringin’ you in my direction, but you ain’t the only one dealin’ with some crazy shit. I told myself that if you took me back I would lay some of my shit on the line. I’m diggin’ you like a muthafucka, Dez, and if I could make some of my fucked-up situations disappear, I would. Thing is, though, I got people dependin’ on me and I just can’t slam the door in their faces. There are times that I want to walk away, but I can’t. It ain’t like I’m on no street corners or nothin’, but from time to time, I do move things around for my uncle. Like always, he takes damn good care of me, and if I have to return a li’l favor, then I do it. That’s why I work at his car wash and at the club. Some of his shit legit, but then again, some people’s opinion ’bout what he do may differ.”
I wasn’t sure how to confront Roc about what he’d just admitted and the last thing I wanted was to be judgmental. I hadn’t walked in his shoes and I understood how a young man like him could get so caught up with the money.
“I’m not going to judge you, Roc, but you’ve got to consider other options. You are a gorgeous young man and I know you can get a modeling gig anywhere. There are so many things I’m sure you’re capable of doing and you just can’t sit back and accept things for what they may be. I know what it’s like for people to depend on you, but you’ve got to look out for yourself. You are living a dangerous life, and unless you do something about it, your situation will end like all the others. I don’t want that for you, and the people around you shouldn’t either. All I’m saying is challenge yourself to do better. Don’t travel down the same road as your father, and his father or the rest of your family members. Break the cycle and start a generation that your family can be proud of. Remember, money isn’t everything. How you make it is what defines us.”
Roc kissed my forehead and was silent for a while. Moments later, he spoke up. “I hear what you’re sayin’ Dez, and I wish it were that easy. Unfortunately, society requires you to have all these degrees to make money, and I dropped out of school in the twelfth grade. I have money to buy whatever I want, so changin’ course don’t make sense to me right now.”
“It might not make sense to you now, but one day it will.” I touched Roc’s hair on his chin and lifted my head to kiss him. “If there’s anything I can do to help you turn your life in another direction, please let me know.”
He nodded and cuddled me in his arms. I had a feeling that going forward, he would impact my life in a positive way and I would do the same for his life.
The lights were back on, and after I took my morning shower, I headed downstairs to find something to cook for breakfast. My fridge didn’t have much in it, so I reached for my milk, opting for a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Roc was still asleep, so I sat at the table and made a long grocery list. He hadn’t mentioned any of his favorite foods, but with a body like his, I was sure his fat intake was minimal. I wrote down fruits, vegetables, and even turkey burgers that I was sure he’d like. I then thought about baking him a cake, just because of the one he didn’t get to cut on his birthday that night at the club. I searched through my cabinets and came across a red velvet cake I’d promised to make for Latrel. I wound up making him a German chocolate cake that day, but never got around to the red velvet one. I wasn’t sure when Roc would wake up or how long he’d stay, so I hurried to whip the batter and get it into the oven.
Thirty minutes had gone by, and when I headed to my bedroom to check on Roc, he was still resting peacefully. Nothing covered his naked body and sexiness was written all over him. I wanted to jump on him, but I figured I’d wait until his cake was finished. As I made my way down the hallway, I heard a vibrating sound coming from my living room. I noticed Roc’s phone on the floor, and when I picked it up, it showed that he had nine text messages waiting. I thought about not looking at the messages, but that was just a thought. When I clicked the view button, somebody named Vanessa seemed pissed. Where in the fuck are you? she inquired. Yo’ ass just up and disappeared and I’m gettin’ tired of the bullshit! I know you with some bitch, and when she don’t fuck you like I do, don’t come running back to me! I looked at another message she’d sent and it read:
The clothes you left here are on fire, nigga! I don’t need you anymore Roc and neither does your son.
I heard Roc cough, so I quickly laid the phone back on the floor. This was definitely not the kind of drama I wanted or needed in my life, and as a black woman, I felt as if we had to do better. I wondered why Roc hadn’t mentioned anything to me about a son? The text messages frustrated me, but at his age, what in the hell did I expect? His baby’s mama
seemed very immature, and if she had to leave nine messages and refer to the father of her child as a nigga, then she didn’t need him, nor did he need her. Roc had been spending a lot of weekends with me, and I wondered how much time he’d been spending with Vanessa and their son.
Just as I was putting icing on the cake, I heard my hardwood floors squeak. I quickly turned around and Roc was standing by the island. He stretched and before he could ask what time it was, I told him.
“It’s almost noon,” I said, standing in front of the cake to hide it.
“How you know I was gon’ ask you that?”
“Because you always ask, like you have somewhere to be.”
Unclothed, he made his way up to me. “What you tryin’ to hide?” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “I smell somethin’.”
I turned around to face the cake and Roc kept his arms around me. “Tah-dah! It’s your birthday cake. I didn’t have much to cook for breakfast, so I thought a cake would be nice.”
Roc pecked his lips down the side of my neck, repeatedly thanking me. “You so sweet. And I mean that literally.”
I smiled, carrying the cake over to the table. He sat in a chair while I stuck twenty-five candles inside of the cake and lit them. I started to sing “Happy Birthday,” but he interrupted me.
“If we gon’ have a for-real birthday celebration, then you gotta put on your birthday suit like me. I ain’t feelin’ the silk robe, and if you want to make this more excitin’, you should get comfortable.”
I had no problem getting naked with Roc, and allowed my silk robe to drop behind me. I straddled his lap in the chair while resting my arms on his shoulders. I looked into his eyes and seductively sung “Happy Birthday” to him. I ended with a lengthy kiss and asked him to make a wish and blow out the candles.
“I wish that you and me could kind of hook up and do the significant-other thing. But since you ramblin’ through my phone and shit, maybe you think I’m taken by somebody else. Everything ain’t what it appears to be and if you ever want to know ’bout me, all you gotta do is ask. Some things are open for discussion, then again, understand that some things ain’t.”
Roc turned his head and blew out the melting candles. How in the hell did he know I’d checked his phone? I wanted to ask about Vanessa and his son, but I knew my answers would come later. For now, his significant-other wish went in one ear and out the other. There was more that needed to be revealed and I wasn’t about to set myself up for another broken heart. Instead of ruining the moment, I cut a huge chunk of the cake and told Roc to open his mouth. He did and I put half of the piece inside of his mouth, saving the other half for me. He chewed, nodding his head.
“Damn, that’s good. So far, yo’ ass can cook.”
“My ass doesn’t cook, I do. I’m glad you like it.”
Roc gripped my ass and shook it. “My bad, yo’ ass good for many other things I get so excited about. And that’s on the real.”
He swiped his finger across the top of the cake, removing a healthy portion of the white cream icing. “Do you know what I could do with this?” he asked. “I can make this taste so much better.”
“My imagination is starting to run wild, and while we’re in our birthdays suits, let’s not let anymore time go to waste.”
“You a hot ass somethin’, ma. What the fuck I’m gon’ do with yo’ pretty ass? You got my young mind all twisted and shit. Why you tryin’ to mess with a nigga’s mind?”
I took Roc’s hand, spreading the icing from his fingers onto my nipples. I knew he’d find other places to put it, but my breasts were a good start.
“You’re a very smart man, Roc. And diploma or not, you’ve gained an enormous amount of knowledge from the streets. I in no way have your mind twisted and the streets have taught you how to play your game and play it well. For the record, I’m digging the hell out of you too. But we’re going to approach this one day at a time. Like last night, the ball fell in your court. Today, it’s in your court again. Right now, you’re playing your hand correctly, but don’t be afraid to face a new dealer. She’s a force to be reckoned with, and unlike your baby’s mama who is bringing you drama, my mind can’t be twisted neither.”
I knew Roc wanted to fire back at me, but my tongue went into his mouth to shush him. I then lifted his hand to my breasts, and once he started licking the icing on my nipples, that was all she wrote. His intimate belated birthday celebration went out with a bang, and Vanessa or not, I was sure there were many more days like this to come.
Chapter Seven
Latrel called, and instead of him coming home, he wanted me to come to his school for an awards ceremony. Due to his excellent grades, he’d been offered another scholarship to further his engineering career. He had already received a scholarship for basketball, but since college was so expensive, every little bit helped. I told him I would definitely be there, and that’s when he informed me not to come alone. I asked why, and even though he hated to tell me, he admitted that Reggie was bringing someone with him.
I pretended as if the news hadn’t bothered me, but it had. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to hold my peace after seeing him with another woman, but I had to be there for my son. As usual, I expressed my concerns with Monica and she always had a solution. That was to take Roc along with me and not go alone. She even offered to go, and since she was Latrel’s godmother, that only made sense. I wasn’t sure if Roc would be willing to go, or if I was comfortable with introducing him to Latrel. When I talked to Roc about it, he was all for it. According to him, we needed to get out and have some fun. He knew how I felt about going places with him and his lifestyle still made me paranoid. I figured a car ride to Mizzou College couldn’t do much harm, so the three of us rode together in my Lincoln MKS.
We arrived at Mizzou three hours before the ceremony. I was nervous about Latrel meeting Roc, and on our way to Latrel’s dorm room, I pulled Roc aside.
“I am really nervous about this,” I said, facing him. I brushed the fine hair off his shoulders from his fresh haircut and touched the side of his smooth face. “Can you do me a favor?”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“I know how blunt you like to be, but please don’t mention anything about us having sex. Eliminate the “P” word and don’t be so vulgar, please?”
Roc just stared without saying a word. Monica pulled my arm and told Roc to ignore me. “Please forgive her. She got issues.”
“Obviously,” he said, reaching for my arm. He turned me to face him and spoke sternly. “I need to get this off my chest. I am who I am and I don’t put on no front for nobody. If you didn’t want me to come here, then you shouldn’t have asked. Your son is a grown-ass man and I’m sure he’s come across people more blunt than me. Chill out and if you don’t start none, then it won’t be none.”
“He told you,” Monica mumbled. I rolled my eyes at Monica and turned my attention back to Roc.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for my words to come out like that and my intentions weren’t to offend you. It’s just that my son has never seen me with another man and I really don’t know how he’s going to react.”
Roc shrugged and winked. “All we can do is see. Either way, I promise to be on good behavior.”
We made our way to Latrel’s room, and after one knock, he opened the door. His face lit up and we embraced each other.
“Hey, Mama,” he said, kissing my cheek and inviting me inside. He hugged and kissed Monica too and afterward, I introduced him to Roc.
“What’s up, man,” Latrel said, gripping Roc’s hand.
“Nothin’ much. It’s good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you and congrats on yo’ achievements.”
“Thanks,” Latrel said, patting Roc’s back.
We all stepped into the tiny room that had two bunk beds, two computer desks, and one closet stuffed with clothes. Posters of Beyoncé, Ciara, Kim Kardashian and Keyshia Cole were plastered on the walls, but two posters of half-naked models b
othered me. If that wasn’t enough to disturb me, Latrel came to the door with no shirt on and a female was sitting on his bed. Didn’t he know I was coming? I thought.
“Mama, Monica, and Roc, this is Jeanne,” he said.
She stood up, giving us a quick wave. “I’m going back to my dorm,” she said. “I’ll see you at the ceremony.”
Jeanne left the room, but not before taking a double look at Roc. Hell, who wouldn’t, I thought.
“Who’s Jeanne?” I asked, while observing Latrel’s room. It was junky as ever and I hadn’t raised my son not to take care of his things.
“She just some trick I’m trying to lay.”
Monica laughed and Roc smiled. I didn’t hear anything funny, so I folded my arms and addressed Latrel. “So that’s what you’re here for, huh? And when did you start referring to women as tricks?”
Latrel put his shirt on and walked up to me. He shook my shoulders and smiled. “Would you please take a load off and relax? I’m just playing, Mama, damn. Can’t you take a joke? Jeanne is just a friend of mine, okay? And check this out . . . did you notice that she was black?”
I smiled and lightly punched Latrel in his stomach. “Yes, I noticed, but there was still something about her I didn’t like.”
“Now, why doesn’t that surprise me?” he said.
Monica chimed in. “Face it, Latrel. No woman is ever going to be good enough for your mama. And when she sees all these condoms over here in this trash can, you’d better have a good answer.”
I quickly made my way over to the trash can, and there was one used condom inside. Latrel hurried to defend himself.
“That does not belong to me. It’s my roommate’s and you can ask him when he gets here.”
“Now, you know I don’t believe that for one minute. If you’re up here messing around like this, I don’t understand how you’re capable of getting good grades.”
Latrel defensively held out his hand with a huge grin on his face. I could always tell when my son was lying and he was. “I—uh, don’t—” He looked at Roc. “Man, help a brotha out, would you? They ganging up on me,” he laughed.
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