Full Figured

by Brenda Hampton

  He nodded, continuing to look around. “Yeah, it’s tight. I might have to hook up some shit like this.”

  I didn’t want to give him any ideas about spending his money, so I asked him to unpack our suitcases. The bedroom was decked out with wrought-iron furniture and had a comfortable looking king-sized bed. The tub in the bathroom was an old-fashioned claw-foot white tub, more than big enough for me and Roc. I couldn’t wait to sink my body into it and before I could get the words out of my mouth, Roc had already suggested it. He wrapped his arms around me as we stood in the doorway.

  “We gon’ have a good time, a’ight?” he said.

  “With no interruptions?” I asked.

  “No interruptions.” He reached for his phone to turn it off. He then tossed it on the bed, already luring me back to it.

  “Wait a minute,” I said. “I gotta pee.”

  “Nah, that’s just that pussy tinglin’ ’cause I’m tryin’ to get in it.”

  “Trust me, soon enough, you will.”

  We kissed, and after I used the bathroom, I went downstairs to make us some sandwiches. Roc had stayed in the bedroom and when I got back upstairs, he had made himself comfortable. He was laid across the bed in his boxers, paging through his GED guide. The pages were ruffled, so I could tell he’d been using it. I was impressed.

  “So, I see you’ve been making use of that, huh?”

  “Yep,” he said, not taking his eyes off the book. “I told you I would.”

  I placed the tray of food on the bed, and after we ate and drank some wine, I turned on some soft music. We talked for a while, but then Roc got back to his book. I left him alone and laid next to him, reading mine.

  It had gotten dark outside, but the cabin was lit up like Christmas. Roc had fallen asleep and so had I. When I got up, I went downstairs to turn down some of the lights, then went back upstairs to start my bubble bath. I wanted Roc to join me, so I put on the black sheer lace hipster panties I bought, with a matching embroidered, cleavage-boosting sheer bra. It had pink silk ribbon straps and a tiny pink bow sat in the middle of my chest. I stood at the side of the bed, calling out Roc’s name. He lifted his head, but squinted his eyes. When he saw me, his eyes opened wide.

  “Damn,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “You look good in that shit, ma. Where the negligee that I bought you, though? I ain’t seen you in it yet.”

  “It’s at home. I’m going to wear them, but I wanted to wear this today.”

  “Good choice,” he implied.

  I turned, sauntering my way to the bathroom and swaying my hips from side to side. I could feel the air on my butt cheeks and I suspected that Roc’s eyes were all into it. I stopped at the doorway, leaning my back against the door. I put my index finger in my mouth, sucking the tips of it.

  “Are you going to take off your shorts, or shall I?”

  Roc removed his shorts and placed a condom on his manhood that flopped out long and hard. He stood in front of me, aiming his goodness right between my legs. I widened them and he pulled the crotch section to my panties over to the side. He found home, lifting me higher to seek comfort. I held onto his neck, rubbing and soothing the back of his head. I expressed how much I wanted things to work out between us and reminded him that our hot bath was waiting.

  We finished our quickie and then resumed in the tub. Water and bubbles were splashed everywhere, and there was nothing sexier than Roc kneeling between my legs, with water and soap dripping down his jaw-dropping black body. My hands roamed every inch of him, squeezing his muscles when I got a chance. At that moment, I wanted to thank Reggie for divorcing me. If I could give him an award for doing so, I most certainly would.

  For the next several days, Roc and I got along well. Basically, I had one of the most enjoyable times of my life, and he admitted to the same. I knew he had to get back home before Friday, and as soon as he turned his phone back on, which was early Thursday morning, it rang like crazy. One call after the next interrupted our time together, and by early afternoon I had to say something. Besides, he had been all into studying from his GED guide, and I was in the middle of quizzing him.

  I sighed, dropping the pencil on the table. “Come on now, Roc. Let’s get finished with this. Can’t you ignore your phone and I don’t know why you turned that thing back on.”

  He held his hand up near my face. “Cut it off,” he said to me, then answered his phone. “What up?” he yelled to the caller. “Yeah, man, I’ll be back sometime tomorrow. Why you niggas keep callin’ me?” He paused for a long time. “So, it’s goin’ down like that, huh? Y’all should have taken care of that shit, and I recommend payin’ them fools off. Check with Ronnie to be sure, but I’m sure he’ll be down with it.” He paused again. “A’ight, get back at me.”

  Roc ended his call, and all this talk about “handling” business was making me ill. I graded the test quiz he had taken and laid the error-free paper in front of him. “Excellent,” I said. “You’ve been doing your thing and I’m proud of you. I hope we’re not wasting our time and—

  Oh my God . . . his phone rang again! I got up to walk away and he grabbed my arm. He still answered his phone, and after a few minutes of griping to Ronnie, he told him he was on his way back. He looked at me, still holding a grip on my arm.

  “Look, you haven’t been wastin’ yo’ time and neither have I. I asked you to be patient, and I need you to do that shit for me. Now, we gotta go. Unfortunately, somethin’ requires my immediate attention and we gotta cut this short.”

  This week was too good to be true. I swallowed the lump in my throat and did my best to face reality. “Is this what I signed up for? Tell me, Roc, will it always be like this? I need to know because I think I’m fooling myself, hoping and wishing for something better.”

  Roc stood and delivered a clear message, not with his mouth, but with his eyes. “If you hopin’ and wishin’ for somethin’ better than me, then go find it. I am who I say I am, and if you don’t like it, bounce. You’re startin’ to work a nigga nerves, Dez, and I’ve been dealin’ with that shit for too long. Silence yourself sometimes, and if it’s the baby that’s got you all worked up, I can deal with that. But I got a feelin’ that you like fuckin’ with me and that shit seriously gotta stop.”

  Roc walked off to gather his belongings, and I thought, never again. This was the last time I’d recommend quality time away from home and my efforts didn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.

  Chapter Twelve

  Finally, I told Latrel about the baby and he was ecstatic. I wasn’t sure how he’d take the news, but he really was pleased that I had moved on with my life. Of course, he broke the news to Reggie, and when he came over that day, I thought the police were banging at the door he hit it so hard. Like always, we argued up a storm and Reggie told me that he never wanted to see me again. He called me a disgrace, and before he left, he had the nerve to suggest that I would pay for what I’d done. Now, what in the hell did I do to him? He was the one who happily ended our marriage and moved on with his other women. He had told me he was getting married, so why was it any of his business that I was having a baby with Roc? I couldn’t understand men for nothing in the world, and they always wanted to have their cake and eat it too.

  I had been going through my ups and downs with Roc too. He claimed working at the club had been keeping him real busy, but I didn’t know what to believe. He always tried to make things right by showering me with gifts, or taking me somewhere so I could get out of the house. I did appreciate his efforts, but just last night, his silly little girlfriend got my number again. This time, she was calling to tell me how many times Roc made her come the other night. She kept putting emphasis on the child they had together and wanted me to know how much Roc loved her dirty drawers. I listened to her message on my voice mail thinking, that if he loved her so much then why in the heck had he been spending so much time with me? Why was he constantly underneath me, showing and telling me how much I meant to him? Now, I wasn’t no fool and I
was well-aware of what was transpiring behind my back. I knew the deal with Roc and based on what he had shared with me about his past, the word love didn’t belong in his vocabulary. To me, he didn’t even love himself, and if he did, he would focus more on getting himself together. I was doing my best to be there for him, simply because I had hopes that he would change for the better. Lord knows I was pulling for him, but I couldn’t deny that his behind-the-scenes situation was starting to work me. I had warned Roc about Vanessa calling my house. I had enough to worry about with the baby and my job, and I definitely didn’t need the extra pressure. Last week, when Roc had taken me to the park for a picnic, I noticed her makeup bag full of M•A•C cosmetics, purposely left in his truck. Roc had stopped at the gas station and I dumped it right in the trash. Another time she’d left a pair of her panties tucked nice and neat right by the passenger’s side door. I’m sure they were for my eyes only and I kicked those on the ground as well. She wanted me to know about her so badly, but I already knew. Roc didn’t have to say a word and his lies about the whole situation angered me. From day one, Vanessa had been in the picture and she wasn’t going anywhere because he didn’t want her to.

  Like clockwork, Roc called to say he was on his way. It was a late Friday evening and I couldn’t wait to discuss my concerns about the ongoing stupid phone calls. I had been on edge since then, and while in the kitchen, I splashed water on my face so I’d calm down. Being pregnant had me feeling as if I were angry at the world, and I knew this kind of feeling wasn’t healthy for the baby. I took deeps breaths and brushed my hair back into a ponytail. I still had on my workout clothes from earlier, which were my fitted dark blue stretch shirt that showed my midriff and my stretch pants that matched. I looked in the mirror, and couldn’t believe the gap that had grown between my legs. No doubt, I had Roc to thank for that. My belly was just starting to poke out some, but if I sucked in my tummy, it wasn’t that noticeable yet. I turned sideways to be sure and was glad to see that my body wasn’t out of whack.

  Several hours had gone by, and Roc hadn’t made it there yet. I gazed at my watch and it was almost midnight. I made him promise to always call if he was going to be late, and this situation seemed kind of odd. He knew how much I worried about him, and I figured the last thing he wanted to do was worry me at a time like this. I called his phone, which is something he made me do since I’d been pregnant, but I got his voice mail. I dialed again and the same thing happened.

  When one o’clock came around, I tried to find the late news in St. Louis, but didn’t have much success. I then got on the Internet to see if STL Today had any updates, but I came up empty. I was about to go crazy, and that’s when my phone rang. I rushed to it and Roc was on the other end.

  “Say, baby,” he said in a scratchy voice. “Somethin’ happened and I’m at the hospital.”

  My heart sunk right into my stomach. A knot felt as if it tightened around it and all I could say was, “Where are you?”

  “Barnes Jewish. . . .”

  I hung up, got in my car, and headed to the hospital.

  As soon as I got there, the parking lot was packed with cars and the emergency-room entrance was filled with people. I was a nervous wreck, and when the double doors came open, I rushed straight to the check-in station.

  “I’m looking for Rocky Dawson. Could you tell me where to find him?”

  The woman pointed to the huge gatherings of people in the waiting room. “Have a seat over there. The doctor will be out in a minute.”

  There were too many people in the waiting area and too much confusion. All I wanted to know was where I could find Roc. “Have a seat over there,” the lady repeated. “I promise you the doctor will be out to talk to everyone shortly. FYI, he’ll be okay.”

  I released a sigh of relief and walked over to the waiting area. I saw some familiar faces from the club, but the most noticeable was Ronnie. He was cussing at somebody on the phone, acting a fool. Several men stood by the soda machines, some were by the television, and some hung out by the bathrooms. As for the women, I noticed the woman I’d sat by at Roc’s birthday party, some women I had never seen before, and the woman who had slapped Roc at the club was there with, of course, his son on her lap. She was also the woman in the pictures at his penthouse, and all I could do was take a deep breath to prepare myself.

  First, I headed for the bathroom, just so I could check myself. One of the men whistled at me, but I ignored him. I looked in the mirror, teasing my bangs on my forehead. All I could do with my ponytail was redo it, so I did. I refreshed my makeup just a little, but had no intentions of overdoing it. My workout ensemble was hugging the thick curves in my body, so I was glad about that. I left the bathroom with my purse tucked underneath my arm. As soon as I stepped out, the same man who whistled at me grabbed my hand.

  “Say. You don’t remember me.” I looked again and it was Bud from the car wash. There was nothing like seeing someone I knew, or knew of, to get me to relax. Bud had my attention.

  “Yes, I do remember you. Are you still at the car wash?” I joked. “I hope not.”

  He laughed and I did my best to be nice, just to get some answers. He told me Roc had been shot in the upper shoulder and said that two men had tried to rob him. When I asked if anyone knew who they were, he nodded and expressed that they’d already been taken care of. I pretty much had come to that conclusion, and with the numerous gangsta like, ride-or-die folks in the waiting room, Bud didn’t have to convince me. I looked at Ronnie sitting in one of the chairs and noticed the women and men sucking up to him. Now he had Roc’s son on his lap, and I had to admit, he was one of the cutest kids I’d ever seen. Vanessa was representing too and she looked even prettier close up. I noticed a heart with Roc’s name in the middle tattooed on her leg. And, just as I had expected, she had a Coach bag by her side, a diamond necklace was blinging from her neck, and her manicure was in full effect. I’m Roc’s woman was written all over her, but was she prettier than me? Nah, not at all. I wasn’t sure if she knew who I was, so I decided to let my presence be known. I excused myself from Bud and walked between the two rows of chairs that faced each other. Ronnie was only two seats away from Vanessa and there just happened to be an empty chair directly across from them. I plopped down in the chair, crossed my legs, and looked over at Ronnie.

  “Hey, Ronnie,” I said, letting Vanessa know that I knew . . . some of the family. “How are you?”

  He threw his head back without saying a word. He kept punching Roc’s son in his chest, knocking him down. Roc’s son was laughing, punching him right back.

  “Don’t hit him hard like that, Ronnie,” Vanessa said with attitude. “Y’all be playin’ too much.”

  “Be quiet. He ain’t no punk.”

  Ridiculous, I thought. If it were my child, I’d get up and knock the hell out of him. I picked up a magazine from the table next to me and opened it up. I pretended to be occupied, but I could see Vanessa checking me out from head to toe. I closed the magazine, then looked at my watch as if I had somewhere to be. I then pulled out my cell phone and dialed out to no one.

  “Hey, Monica,” I said. “I’m at the hospital now. Bud says that Roc will be just fine. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Ronnie yet, but I’m still waiting to see Roc. When I got his call earlier, I rushed right up here. He sounded as if he needed me and you know how I am about my snookums. He was supposed to come over, and I knew something was wrong when he didn’t show up.” I paused as if I were listening to someone on the other end. Vanessa was taking in every word I said. I rubbed my stomach and moved around in the chair like I was uncomfortable. “No, the baby is fine. Roc knows better putting me under all this pressure and I’m going to hurt him as soon as I see him.” I chuckled a bit. “Yeah, we’re going to do that too.” I chuckled again, then told “my girl” I had to go. I closed my cell phone and Vanessa couldn’t wait to put on her show. She stood up, just so I could see her shapely backside and breasts, flaunting it all in my face. Sh
e stood right in front of me, stretching her leg so I could see the tattoo on it. To complete her show, she held out her hand, loudly calling for her son to take it.

  “Come on, Li’l Roc,” she said. “Let’s go get a soda. You should be able to go see yo’ daddy in a minute.”

  She cut her eyes at me and walked off. It was so funny how a woman had so much crap to talk over the phone, but when you got face-to-face with them, they always had very little to say. I left my seat and waited for someone to buzz the emergency room doors open so I could sneak into the room where Roc was. The atmosphere was not my cup of tea and my only purpose was to see Roc.

  I peeked into many of the closed-curtained rooms, and when I found the one Roc was in, there were two doctors in there with him. One of them left, and when I peeked into the room again, Roc saw me. He winked, giving me a slight smile. I slowly walked into the room and the doctor looked at me.

  “I’ll be another minute or two,” he said. “Are you his wife?”

  “Maybe,” I replied.

  “Yeah,” Roc softly fired back.

  We smiled at each other and he looked so, so tired. His entire left shoulder and part of his arm was wrapped in bandages. It looked uncomfortable. His eyes looked as if he had been heavily sedated and the doctor told me they removed the bullet during surgery. He said with a bunch of rest and pain medication, Roc would be fine.

  The doctor left and I got closer to the bed. I held his hand with mine, kissing his knuckles “Are you okay? Why do you worry me like this?” I asked.

  “It wasn’t my fault those fools tried to rob me. I was sittin’ in my truck at the light, thinkin’ ’bout yo’ ass and those niggas came out of nowhere.”

  “What were they hoping to get? Money?”

  “Yeah, they tried to take my bank, but they ain’t even notice my boy drivin’ in the car next to me. Shit happened so fast, and next thing I knew, I was shot. The bullet caught my ass in the shoulder, and I was like, damn. At first, I didn’t know where that muthafucka had hit me. I saw all that blood and started prayin’ my ass off. I thought about you and my baby, my son, and . . . it was fucked up, ma.”