Brave New World

by Guillem Balague

  In November of the following season, we drew 0–0 against them at White Hart Lane and in May we had the opportunity to stay hot on the heels of Leicester City. Anything but victory at Stamford Bridge would definitively end our title challenge. We were up against our fears, the world and, of course, it was Chelsea, which ramped up the temperature by quite a few notches. I was surprised that several players in our opponents’ ranks declared hatred towards us and love for Leicester, against whom they were playing on the final day at home.

  We were battling for the championship, while Chelsea were playing for pride. I understand and value the fact that teams in England give their all in every single game. We have to keep that going, it’s a huge positive. Behaviour in the dugout, however, is another matter altogether.

  Something that drove Nicola Cortese up the wall was the fact that there were club coaches in the England Under-18s and Under-21s setup. At Manchester United, Louis van Gaal did not want his assistants to be the England national team’s assistants as well. Given the England national team’s financial muscle, it doesn’t make sense for it not to have its own coaching staff and use club coaches instead, does it? But Chelsea have an assistant who also works for the national team. He should set an example, but he certainly did no such thing that day. The way he looked at us as they piled on the pressure, or the way he came over to our bench to celebrate Chelsea’s goals was not right, unnecessary. Incidentally, it was the complete opposite of what Chelsea manager Guus Hiddink was doing. Guus was a real gentleman, while still trying to beat us, despite the tension that arose that evening. When I saw that assistant soon after at our training ground, which the national team was using, I made my feelings very clear to him.

  Kane and Son scored for us in the first half. A win would leave us five points behind Leicester with two games left to play. It would be extremely tough, but not impossible. Danny Rose and Willian squared up to each other just before half-time. Sparks were flying and we ended the game with nine yellow cards. ‘We aren’t 2–0 up. Play as if it were 0–0. We have to win the second half,’ I told them in the dressing room.

  Cahill capitalised on a defensive error to score and Hazard equalised late on. It ended 2–2 and Leicester City were proclaimed champions without kicking a ball.

  Ten minutes after the final whistle in a dressing room where all you could hear was the clickety-clack of studs on the floor, I hugged and shook hands with all the players. ‘Don’t beat yourselves up over this, you’ve given your all and I’m very proud of you.’ I didn’t say much else.

  Well, I did. That we had to finish second and keep up the attitude that we showed at Stamford Bridge. We know that didn’t happen, but the experience will ensure that next time we’re in a similar situation, which may well be this season, we’ll try to manage it differently.

  *

  I’m writing this in the early hours, the night before a game – and not just any match, but an FA Cup semi-final. I can’t sleep. Life has floored us again.

  The week leading up to the semi-final started off normally. Very much so. We had Sunday off, on Monday we did an introductory session, while two days of hard grind followed on Tuesday and Wednesday. We focused on some fundamentals of our game that we weren’t happy with, seeking to adjust our positioning to press better after losing the ball and move the holding midfielders further forward. They’re inclined to think that by sitting closer to the defenders they protect the team, but in actual fact that means giving the opposition more space. We’d seen repeated errors on that front, but we hadn’t had the opportunity to address them in training.

  The players must’ve thought we were crazy given the intensity we demanded over those two days. We asked them to be aggressive and physical, and to take risks. ‘Hold nothing back!’ we barked at them. On Thursday we did tactical work, part of which involved playing ten v eleven. The team that was a man down – we were the ones with ten in this scenario and Chelsea the ones with a full complement – had to harry up top. We had to overcome the numerical inferiority through risk: we left ourselves one v one at the back and let the opposition bring the ball out, but then we hunted in packs in certain areas. We knew that Chelsea would look to keep it tight and hit us on the break with long balls, capitalising on any errors we committed.

  I’d almost made up my mind on our line-up: Wanyama had recovered well and would start. Son had played an important role in recent matches, chipping in with goals and assists. He seemed so up for it that we knew he’d perform well regardless of where we played him. How would we approach it? 3-4-3, beyond question. The easy thing to do would’ve been to introduce another defensive midfielder, but . . .

  Are we brave? Do we want to play aggressively? Well then, we’re going to do that and then some in this match.

  I sensed that our lads were feeling strong. There’s been real confidence and camaraderie in the air, coursing through their bodies and their minds. We knew that keeping the positivity flowing was important, because everything can change in a flash. In fact, it’s a Sliding Doors moment. If Chelsea win, it could give them the impetus to go on and claim a league and cup double. If we go through, the confidence boost could help us win one or even two trophies. All that’s pure speculation, but it’s something we’ve discussed.

  Incidentally, the PFA Premier League Team of the Year was announced: it features four of our players (Walker, Rose, Alli and Kane), as well as four from Chelsea. What I don’t really understand is why Dele was only nominated for the Young Player of the Year award and not the main one.

  But then, we were rocked by one of those bitter, devastating blows that life serves up sometimes. Jesús and I were heading back in after training and talking about how intense the session had been when we saw the club doctor and two physios running towards the academy pitches. I immediately realised that something serious had happened. I asked Toni and Miki to stay with the first team, while we went over to see what was going on. We came across the lads from the Under-23s, who were traipsing towards the dressing rooms looking distressed.

  ‘What’s happened?’ I asked.

  ‘There’s something wrong with Ugo.’ We sprinted over and saw that the doctor was trying to revive Ugo Ehiogu, our Under-23s coach, who’d had a heart attack. An ambulance arrived five minutes later. The paramedics also tried to resuscitate him, before rushing him to hospital. Knowing that he was in good hands, we continued to hold out hope and were in regular contact, but the atmosphere was downbeat. A great many players had worked with him. He was practically part of the first-team set-up, of our family.

  At three o’clock the following morning, the phone rang: Ugo had passed away. Aged just 44.

  A wave of oppressive, negative energy, of pain, ripped through me. It’s so hard to describe. I relived everything that had happened with Dani Jarque.

  How easily people disappear and how difficult it is to fill the void they leave. Ugo was taken away in the ambulance and I never saw him again. And I never will. Only memories remain.

  *

  We changed all of our plans for today, Friday. We trained and showered, and then I sent the lads home.

  *

  Two different approaches to football collided in the semi-final at Wembley. That was laid bare in the conversation I had with Conte before the match. He came into our dressing room to offer his condolences and we had a wide-ranging chat. Talking to the manager of a club like Chelsea is a good way of confirming how different things are. We’re competing in the same league and are based in the same city, but our problems are totally different.

  I like the paraphernalia surrounding the FA Cup, with all of us dressed to the nines and the stands full of colour. In England, they certainly know the formula to turn a football match into a unique experience.

  Unfortunately, we let in a very early goal, which knocked the stuffing out of us. The mistake wasn’t so much bringing down Pedro on the edge of the area, although by that time he was heading away from goal and had three defenders around him, but rathe
r having allowed the long ball beforehand to reach Batshuayi in a metre and a half of space, because we’d worked on those sorts of sequences and the players knew that their move had to finish right there and then. If possession can’t be recovered, a foul in midfield breaks up a dangerous counter.

  I stayed calm and remained standing after the goal. In fact, I spent three-quarters of the game on my feet in the technical area.

  We came back into it and equalised through Kane. Then, just before the break, Chelsea scored again through a harsh penalty, leaving us having to regroup a second time. We made a few positional tweaks at half-time and reminded some of the players that they had to do more.

  We equalised again after the interval, through Dele, during a 20–25 minute spell in which we played some of our best football of the season. We had them right up against the wall; in fact I think it’s the most comprehensively one of my teams have dominated another in my four years in England. We passed the ball around well, pinned Chelsea back very deep and forced them to go long even more than they’d planned. Trippier was sensational, containing Marcos Alonso, one of their biggest threats, who ended up frustrated because he wasn’t able to get forward. I appealed to the fans to make more noise.

  But then we conceded a third goal, which came from Chelsea’s only corner, after they had crossed the halfway line for practically the first time since the interval. We gambled after that, only for them to settle the contest with a fourth and final goal, a long-range screamer from Matić.

  We played better than Chelsea, but it was one of those games that we just weren’t destined to win, whatever we did. It was almost irrelevant whether or not we started Son, as we’d debated, or whether we went with three or four at the back: we conceded from a free-kick, a penalty, a second ball from a corner that we failed to deal with and a 40-yard strike that whizzed into the top corner. They scored four times from five attempts on target; we had 66 per cent possession, 11 corners to their one, and I don’t know how many shots . . .

  There’s not much more we could’ve done.

  We went away with genuine pride at having given it a go and having stayed true to our principles. Nobody can accuse us of shrinking away or not playing to win. I know that the result is what will be remembered, but can anyone guarantee that we’d have won playing any other way? It’s true that we were missing something, something we simply don’t have. We deserved more, but at this level, deserving it isn’t always enough.

  I understand the supporters starting to leave five minutes before the final whistle. Although I don’t know how fair it is to us, they viewed the match within a wider context: a record seventh straight FA Cup semi-final defeat, and a fourth against Chelsea. In any case, it’s the first under me, but I share their ambition. Just playing well won’t cut it.

  Now we’ve got to move on and look ahead. We’ve got Crystal Palace in four days’ time.

  We’re still in the title race.

  *

  Sunday was a day off, but I had a couple of meetings. Back at home, I put the TV on with the sound off and watched Real Madrid v Barcelona out of the corner of my eye. Sitting there on the sofa, with no audience or obligations, Ugo came back to the forefront of my thoughts. It is almost incomprensible that he is gone for ever. On Monday, everyone was still distraught, and some psychologists came in to offer support, especially to the academy kids. I took the reserve team out for dinner. Every person is a world unto himself, every group is a different universe, and every moment calls for different words to be said. In this instance, there was a need to get the positive energy flowing again.

  While at Espanyol, shortly after I was appointed coach, I experienced an electric moment that transformed the atmosphere. We were struggling to haul the team out of the mire. During a game that we were losing, I was about to bring off De la Peña because he was on a booking and was in danger of getting sent off. I decided to keep him on in the end, and we wound up drawing. Back in the dressing room, De la Peña said to me, ‘We’re going to stay up.’ We were a long way from safety, but something had got into him – a fit of madness, a surge of optimism and faith. It infected his teammates, as well as the fans. We all believed him. And we stayed up.

  Sometimes our group could do with a dash of madness. But it’s got to come from them, not from us.

  Two days after the cup semi-final, the players were asking us about their holidays and whether we were going to go off on tour right after the end of the league season. My mind turned back to the Newcastle game. I was a footballer too, so I understand them: after a match, your attention shifts to what’s coming next. They see what they can squeeze out; I did the same as a player. That’s not to say I wasn’t focused on the next game – it’s just that I wanted to know everything in advance, to have everything mapped out. I saw everything from a different angle.

  But as a coach, it’s tough to swallow. These things piss me off, but I don’t let on to the players. I guess if they ever read this diary, they will know! We spend all year reiterating that they’ve got to be invested in what they’re playing for because that will bring better performances out of them. But it is not always easy for them to act accordingly.

  It’s Wednesday morning right now. It’s going to be a long day: we’re playing tonight. We’ve got three London derbies in a row: away to Crystal Palace, at home to Arsenal and away to West Ham. Then we face Manchester United. Chelsea won yesterday to move seven points clear, so it’s win or bust for us against Palace, who beat the league leaders the other day.

  *

  We were made to fight hard to overcome a disciplined, defensive Crystal Palace.

  At half-time we switched our system and took off the two holding midfielders, Dembélé due to injury and Wanyama because he was on a yellow card. Son and Sissoko came on tasked with giving us more width, and Eriksen dropped deeper alongside Eric Dier in central midfield. We were supremely dominant; truth be told, we were helped by Palace having had a day’s less rest than us. They only managed one shot on target in the second half.

  With just over 12 minutes to go, Christian Eriksen smashed home from outside the box to hand us the three points.

  We showed character and mental strength.

  Chelsea’s lead is back down to four points.

  *

  Danny Rose has had another setback in his recovery from a knee-ligament injury and needs surgery. He’ll be out for another four months, meaning he’ll miss the rest of the season and pre-season.

  I had to speak out to counter some comments made by Xavi Hernández on a television programme, although some friends of his subsequently denied he’d ever said them. They were about Manchester City and their supposed interest in Dele Alli, suggesting that City were lining up a big bid.

  I’ll always remember facing Xavi in a derby with Espanyol, which Barcelona unfairly won from the spot after it looked to me as though he’d dived in the box. After the match he claimed that Raúl Baena, a youngster who’d just broken into our team, had admitted that it was a penalty. There are lines you shouldn’t cross.

  Thierry Henry came to the training ground to film an interview with Harry Kane for Sky Sports and we spent some time with him. I reminded him how, when my staff and I arrived, people used to say to us, ‘We’ve lost twice in a row to West Ham.’

  ‘Bloody hell, if we’re fearing West Ham, we may as well pack up and go home,’ I’d reply.

  Now it’s a similar story with Arsenal. It’s been repeated a thousand times that we could finish above them in the league for the first time in 22 years. Kane joined in our conversation and told Henry, ‘Maybe it’s something that excites the fans, but we’ve got bigger fish to fry.’

  The last North London derby at White Hart Lane is fast approaching. Memories are flooding back of Espanyol’s 3–2 win over Valencia in the final fixture at Sarrià. Like that year, the stadium is playing its part: we want to go the whole season unbeaten at home.

  *

  We were at the training ground at 10.30 on Sunda
y morning.

  ‘Shall we do a bit of running on the treadmill?’ I asked Miki.

  We ended up power walking, only occasionally breaking into a jog, but we still worked up a sweat. We showered and then the players started to arrive. I sat on my couch while they had breakfast. By that point, we’d decided on the team: Dembélé was carrying a knock, so we’d leave him on the bench. The players’ expressions and choice of food didn’t tell us anything new, so we started with Lloris, Davies, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Trippier, Wanyama, Dier, Dele, Eriksen, Son and Kane.

  I knew there’d be speculation over the reasons why I left Walker out of the starting XI, but we felt that Trippier was the right pick for the match. He didn’t have a great start to the season but he got into gear when his opportunity came. His form dipped again over the Christmas period, but after that he kept upping his game, despite not being a regular starter. And sometimes, however much you put it off, you have to take the plunge and give a player a chance at another’s expense.

  Leaving out a regular always wounds them, creating a rift between them and the coaching staff that can be very difficult to heal. A while back, we benched one of our three best players. He’s usually a nailed-on starter, one of the first names on my team sheet. His face hardened when he found out. Three weeks later, his agent showed up wanting to talk to us.

  These days, footballers lack perspective and demand immediate answers. Ultimately Trippier forced his way into contention and he’s been one of the team’s standout players every time he’s played. Like Ben Davies, he hasn’t been daunted by having to battle a high-profile international for a place in the side.