Sea of Memories

by Kelly Risser

  “Sera?” I called her name while Kieran remained silent.

  “Yes?” She slowly turned, a confused smile playing on her lips. “Do I know you?”

  “It’s her.” Kieran spoke softly behind me. He squeezed my hand before stepping past me and crouching in front of the elderly woman. “Hello, Mother.”

  Her eyes clouded momentarily, and I worried that she had forgotten all about her previous life, but then her face lit up. With shaky hands, she touched his cheek. “Kieran? Is it really you?”

  “It’s me.”

  How she knew he was Kieran and not his identical twin, Alexios, was beyond me. Perhaps it was a mother’s intuition. As if she knew I was thinking about her, she leaned around Kieran and glanced curiously at me. “And who is this young woman?”

  He turned slightly and took my hand, pulling me forward. “This is Meara. She’s my fiancée.”

  “You’re getting married?” Sera’s brows rose as her eyes flitted between us. “She is human, then?”

  “Half-human,” I answered before Kieran could.

  Sera’s gaze sharpened, and Meara saw the strong woman she was beneath the frail exterior. “Was your mother or your father Selkie?”

  Kieran sighed. “David’s her father. Does it matter?”

  “David had a child? With a human?” Sera’s laugh was gritty like sandpaper but merry too. “How much the world has changed. No matter,” she said and stood on shaky legs, reaching her arms out to me. “Let’s have a look at you.”

  I stepped closer, and she took my hands. Her skin felt thin and soft, like silk. “You are a lovely girl.”

  Kieran rose next to me. “She’s also brave, fierce, and loyal. We’ve fought battles you can only imagine, Mother. She faced evil and triumphed.”

  “Then you are worthy of Kieran, and he, of you.” Sera winked at me before dropping my hands and shuffling past us. “Come, let’s go outside. It’s a lovely day. Too lovely to be trapped indoors.”

  On a small patio, Sera led us to a table with four chairs. She carefully lowered herself into one, chuckling with self-depreciation. “These old bones and muscles don’t like cooperating much these days.”

  “Where is Boyd, Mother?” Kieran asked. “Did he leave you?”

  “You could say that.” The smile dropped from her face. I wanted to scold Kieran for upsetting an old woman, even though I knew it was unfair and she hurt him by leaving way more than he could ever hurt her. “He died ten years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.” Kieran’s apology was curt. I didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t add anything else. We sat in silence, Sera tilting her head up and closing her eyes to bask in the sun.

  Finally, she opened them and stared at Kieran. “I’m not,” she said. “We were happy together. I loved him, and he loved me. He gave me a lifetime of love.”

  Kieran’s expression darkened. “Do you have regrets?”

  Sera studied her son for a moment before speaking. I was all but forgotten at the table. “You may have to be more specific, Kieran. I have many regrets.” She reached across and took his hand. To my surprise, he let her. “But my biggest regrets are leaving you, Alexios, and Tyrese. Not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about you.” She choked on those last words, took a breath, and continued, “But I do not regret saving Boyd. I do not regret finding love. As much as I lost, he was everything to me.”

  Kieran studied their hands, but didn’t speak. I looked between them, unsure of my role, until Sera reached out her other hand and covered mine. “And you understand now, son, don’t you? You know what it is to give your heart and receive someone else’s in return.” She pulled her hands back to wipe her eyes, and then she smiled. “I knew you were destined for greatness, Kieran. I’m so glad you found it.”

  By the time we left the nursing home, Kieran seemed to be at peace. He kissed me and thanked me for convincing him to go. “I was able to forgive her,” he said. “And I feel lighter for it.”

  “Will you tell your family about seeing her?” I asked.

  He considered for a moment before replying. “I’ll tell Alexios and Tyrese, but not my dad. He has no forgiveness for my mom. It will only anger him.”

  The way Kieran described his dad, I was extremely nervous to meet him. I kept my fears to myself, though. Kieran transported us to the island, which saved a couple of hours from our journey. No one was outside, but it was close to dinnertime.

  “They’ll be in the great hall.” Holding my hand, Kieran led me to the weathered castle. This was only the second Selkie community I’d been at, and the feeling here was vastly different from Ronac. Although it was also an impressive stone structure, it had a lighter, airier appearance than my father’s fortress. Surrounded by white sand beaches, palm trees, and tropical flowers, it looked like a high-end resort.

  Without knocking or waiting for admittance, Kieran opened the massive door and ushered me inside. The entrance smelled faintly of coconut and musky florals. Watercolors hung on the walls, complemented by the various marble statues of graceful men and women. The scents and art only reinforced the feeling I was at a luxury hotel.

  The sounds of conversation and laughter, along with the clattering of silverware and dishes, filled the hall. They grew louder as we neared a set of double doors paneled in blond wood. Everything here was light and elegant, very different from Ronac.

  Kieran opened the door without hesitating, but reached back to take my hand. The room quieted for a moment before it exploded in shouts of greetings and questions. A man who looked about my dad’s age stood and crossed to us. I saw enough of a resemblance to know this was Stephen, Kieran’s dad.

  “Meara.” He smiled warmly and took my hand between his own. “I finally meet the young woman who has captured my son’s heart.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “It’s a pleasure.”

  “Thank you.” I returned his smile. He patted my hand once more, released me, and hugged Kieran. He wasn’t at all what I envisioned, especially after hearing the story of Kieran’s mom. He seemed very warm and genuine.

  Two others approached us. Since one looked exactly like Kieran, I could only assume it was his identical twin, Alexios. It was still a shock to see Kieran’s features on someone else, someone who was a stranger. Thankfully, I had no doubt I could tell them apart. Alexios’ face was much more serious. Although he smiled at me, he did not have that same confidence that Kieran carried like a badge. He also wore his white blond hair longer. It curled around his ears and at the nape of his neck, giving him that stereotypical California surfer look.

  “Alexios.” I grinned at him, and then turned to his sister. “Tyrese.”

  Tyrese was a lovely girl. She looked about my age, but from what Kieran said, she was, of course, much older. Someday, I would adjust to the Selkie aging process.

  “Kieran told you about us.” Tyrese sounded surprised.

  “A little,” I said. “I hope to get to know you better now that I’m here. After all, we’ll all be family.”

  Their surprised expressions reminded me that they didn’t yet know we were engaged. Stephen turned his head to me. Before that, he and Kieran had been talking quietly. In the awkward silence, Kieran moved to my side and raised my left hand. “We are engaged.”

  If I hadn’t been watching their father, I would’ve missed it, but Stephen’s face darkened slightly at the news. He covered it with a smile and congratulations, before adding, “You’re following human customs then?”

  Kieran shrugged, not noticing or not caring about his father’s unease. “Meara is half human, after all.”

  “We’re going to observe both ceremonies,” I interjected, squeezing Kieran’s hand so he wouldn’t object or interrupt. We hadn’t discussed it, but after I said it, it sounded like the perfect solution to me. A human marriage ceremony where I could invite my friends and grandparents, and a Selkie mating ritual, where we could be bound for our lifetime.

  Stephen visibly brightened. “I
think that’s a wonderful idea. Does David know?”

  “Not yet. I don’t have any way to tell him until we get home.” My face grew warm under Stephen’s intense gaze. “I kind of told him before we left that we would be back in a few weeks and were going to invite you to return with us.”

  I thought he might be upset or flat-out refuse, but Stephen surprised me. “What a delightful idea! We would love to come with you. I haven’t seen David in years.”

  “Who will run things while you’re gone, Father?” Alexios asked.

  Stephen squeezed his younger son’s shoulder. “You will. Given Kieran’s news, it’s likely this will be yours one day.” He turned to Kieran. “Unless the two of you plan to live here once you’re married?”

  They looked at us, but I didn’t know the answer. Kieran and I hadn’t discussed it yet. There were lots of things we needed to discuss and where we were going to live was just one of them. Kieran wasn’t concerned at all if his calm expression said anything. “We haven’t decided yet. Once we do, I’ll let you know. Alexios, you don’t mind being in charge for a few weeks while Dad comes to Ronac?”

  Although he looked startled, Alexios said, “No, I don’t mind.”

  “Do I get to come?” Tyrese had been standing quietly and watching, but now she stepped forward. “I’d like to see everyone. Especially Ula.”

  She made a face at Kieran, but he didn’t react. Then she glanced briefly at me, but I couldn’t read her closed expression. The only thing I knew was that it didn’t hold any warmth. It seemed I would have some work to do if I wanted to earn Tyrese’s friendship.

  “Of course, of course,” Stephen said, and I got the impression he had been appeasing her for a long time. Then again, Sera left when Tyrese was young and vulnerable. Her father probably felt that he needed to make up for her mother’s abandonment. I felt bad for both of them.

  Mollified, Tyrese returned to her seat, as did Alexios. That left us with Stephen, who asked, “Are you hungry?”

  “I can eat,” Kieran said.

  I poked him in the stomach lightly. “You can always eat.”

  “You’re not hungry?”

  “Oh, no. I am.”

  “Then why are you arguing?”

  “I’m—”

  Stephen cleared his throat. “You’re welcome to continue your debate. But if you do want to eat, I’m happy to show you to your seats.”

  “Thank you,” I told him and stuck out my tongue at Kieran. He laughed silently and followed us to the table.

  ****

  “You asleep?” Kieran’s whispered question sounded loud in the dark room.

  “Not anymore,” I whispered back and reached over to turn on the bedside lamp, blinking at the sudden brightness. “What’s up?”

  He sat on the bed next to me and brushed my hair back with his long fingers. “Nothing really,” he said. “I just wanted to spend some time alone with you. We’ve been surrounded by friends or family for the last week, and before that, we had been apart for a month.”

  My lips curved up as I reached for him. “You missed me.”

  “Always.”

  He lowered his head and kissed me, nudging me over so he could stretch out and lay next to me. The kisses were warm and sweet. He wasn’t trying to take it any further, which allowed me to relax. I didn’t want to mess around in his father’s house, but this was nice. His love and devotion enveloped me.

  “I want to sleep with you,” he said some time later. Before I could make a comment, he added, “And, no, I don’t mean like that. Just lie next to you and hold you. I love waking up by your side, when your face is the first thing I see.”

  “I love that, too.” I curled against him. Thinking about how when he first came to Ronac, I could barely stand to be around him, and now I hated to be away from him, even for short periods of time. I was happiest when we were together. “Will you stay?”

  “Will you let me?” he countered back.

  “Stay,” I whispered and kissed him. “I want you here.”

  I turned on my side, my favorite way to sleep, and he moved closer, wrapping his arm over me. I loved how protected I felt when he was around. I didn’t need his protection. I proved myself capable, but I craved it all the same.

  “Goodnight, Meara.”

  ****

  The sun rose too quickly, and Kieran was already up and gone. It was a good thing, because there was a knock on my door shortly after I woke.

  “May I come in?” asked a young female voice.

  “Sure. Come in.” I slept in a T-shirt and shorts, so I was decent.

  Tyrese popped her head into the room and grimaced. “You’re still in bed?”

  “What time is it?” I asked, more out of habit. Selkies didn’t track time the way humans did, to the second or even small increments. They went by the sun and moon cycles.

  “Time to train.” At this, Tyrese grinned, and it lit up her face. She was lovely when smiling. Her usual scowl made her look older and cranky. “Do you run?”

  Was she serious? “If someone’s chasing me.”

  That wasn’t the answer she wanted. “Get dressed and meet me downstairs. We’re going for a run.”

  “Where’s Kieran?”

  “My dad had some things he wanted Kieran’s help with,” she answered vaguely. “You’ll see him at lunch.” She spun to leave, but called over her shoulder, “Hurry up.”

  I visualized workout clothes and running shoes, hoping that I hadn’t gotten too out of shape. In Ronac, I swam every day, but the last week, I hadn’t exercised much at all. Grumbling to myself, I tied up my hair before leaving the room. This was what I wanted, right? A chance to get to know Tyrese?

  Hours later, sweaty, hungry and exhausted, I knew for certain that the only getting-to-know-me that Tyrese wanted to do was to see who was the stronger female—her or me. It made me wonder if she’d had the same competition with Ula back in the day. Of course, Tyrese was younger then, so maybe she just accepted Ula as she was.

  “You’re pretty good,” Tyrese said as we stretched to cool down. “For a human, that is.”

  “I’m not really a human anymore,” I said, and then felt guilty for saying it. Was I betraying my mom? I didn’t mean to, but it was the truth. Once I chose the Selkie lifestyle, it meant I was no longer human unless I chose to become a human and give up my magic, the same choice as any full-blooded Selkie.

  “Once a human, always a human.” Her words were quiet, and she may have meant them as a joke, but they still stung. It was clear I had a ways to go before she would accept me. I couldn’t blame her, though. Her mom abandoned them to love a human. If my mom had left me to be with my dad, I may have felt the same way about Selkies.

  “What can I do, Tyrese?” I decided to level with her. If we had any chance at all of being friends or at least friendly toward each other, we had to clear the air. “How can I convince you that I want to be your friend? That I’m not here to steal your brother?”

  “Kieran?” She laughed. “You can have him. Alexios is really the nicer of the two, you know.”

  I didn’t have siblings, but that seemed like a rather cruel thing to say. “I love Kieran,” I said softly. “Flaws and all. Just as he loves me.”

  She managed to look chagrined. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m nasty just for the sake of being that way. It’s an old habit.”

  “I understand.”

  “Do you?” Her eyes hardened and a shield went up, turning her face to stone.

  “Look.” I scooted closer, and she didn’t move away, which I took as a good sign. “I lost my mother a year ago to cancer.”

  “Sorry to hear that,” she murmured. Selkies didn’t lose loved ones to disease, only old age and enemies.

  “Before that,” I continued as if I hadn’t heard her, “it was just the two of us. My dad was not in the picture. So while I can’t say I know exactly what you went through, my life was no walk in the park.”

  She made a face. “Walk in the
park. What a funny expression.” After a pause, she added, “Thank you for sharing with me. I didn’t know. I judged you right away and that wasn’t nice.”

  Offering her my hand, I said, “Can we try to be friends?”

  She stared at my hand for a moment before taking it in hers. A sly smile crept across her face. In that moment, I saw how much she resembled her older brothers. “You are such a human. Selkies don’t shake hands.” I shook hers anyway, which had her scrunching her nose. “You’re kind of weird. I don’t really understand you.”

  “Give me a chance,” I said. “I might grow on you.”

  We sat in companionable silence for a moment before my stomach let out a loud rumble. “Can we get some food?” I asked.

  “Sure.” She stood. “Food, I can do. Food, I understand. Let’s go.”

  ****

  The two weeks in Alkana passed quickly. Swimming in the Pacific was much more relaxing than the Atlantic. I enjoyed the warmer water and the slower currents. Even the fish were more brilliantly colored. Shimmering like jewels, they swam around us.

  Kieran showed me the island where his mom kept Boyd. As small as it was, it took us a while to find the cave, which was hidden in years of vegetation growth and neglect. Curious, we cleared the opening and went inside. Lighting the space with colored spheres of our energy, we were surprised to find an old, tattered backpack.

  “This must be one of the bags Mom brought Boyd when he was staying here.” Inside were a couple of rusty containers and a ragged shirt.

  The cave had a low ceiling and wasn’t very wide. “I can’t imagine living like this for more than a week. Even that’s a stretch.” Putting out my magic light, I leaned against the wall.

  Kieran shrugged. “It’s not like Boyd had many choices, especially before he remembered who he was.”

  “I guess.”

  He let his own light sphere fade out and slid closer to me. “It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

  “It’s a cave,” I said. “With a dirt and gravel floor.”

  He leaned in. “Does it remind you of our cave?”

  I shivered, remembering our first night together. It was a memory I’d never forget. However, that cave was large, dry, and warm. This one was small, dark, and damp. Shrugging my shoulder, I said, “Not really.”