A Merry Mistletoe Wedding

by Judy Astley

  Thea was in no doubt that in June’s eyes she’d failed to keep a seriously good catch. ‘I’m about to do a lot better. I’m getting married on Christmas Day,’ she told them.

  ‘To that one with the hair?’ June said, her mouth hanging open in horror. ‘Oh, Thea! I hope you know what you’re doing.’ She shook her head. ‘You young people. And Christmas Day! I didn’t think you could. Isn’t there enough going on at Christmas without the complication of a wedding? Which church will it be? And will there be carols?’

  ‘It’s not in a church and it’ll be down in Cornwall, not round here. We’re having the ceremony at a friend’s house and yes, you can get married any day of the year if you can find someone who’ll take it on.’ Thea sensed she was disappointing her neighbours on all fronts here. ‘We’re having a simple low-key thing, with family and a barbecued breakfast on the beach.’

  ‘Oh, my.’ June was practically fanning her face with her hand at this. ‘A beach! In December! Now that’s not what I call a wedding party. What does your mother think? All mothers have big plans for their daughters’ weddings – she’ll have wanted you in a proper church and a sit-down do.’

  ‘You don’t know my mother,’ Thea said, just managing to keep her smile going. What was it with some people? But then she remembered that June and Robbie had got married in the 1950s when all was still a bit austere and any chance for a proper bit of showing off was hugely welcomed. If she and Sean had half as many years together as these two she’d feel they’d done very well.

  ‘Anyway, Rich is coming to pick up the dog soon so I’d better get back,’ she told them. ‘Your deer look very festive,’ she added, indicating the lit-up stags in their front garden. Robbie had adjusted the lights but one of them had only one functioning eye and looked as if it was winking. She felt horribly insincere but wanted to be kind to make up for the inner anger that they didn’t even know she was feeling. How stupidly English that was, she thought as she led Benji to the front door, but they were kind and sweet neighbours and she’d miss them when – God willing she soon found a job – she moved to Cornwall.

  Rich was bang on time as always. She remembered he’d had a thing about punctuality. He was never late for anything (he’d consider that not so much bad manners as a failure on his part) but also he’d never arrive a second too soon, sometimes insisting on waiting in the car if they were a few minutes early to see a film or for a table he’d booked. ‘We’ll only have to hang about,’ he’d say if she suggested going in, never acknowledging that it made little difference: early was early, it didn’t much matter where they spent the extra minutes. But hanging about in the car was fine by him as he was in charge of it; he preferred that to being at the whim of a waiter who might suggest the bar for a drink first or sitting in the cinema with the lights on, simply relaxing.

  This time it really would have been rude not to invite him in. Thea opened the door and Benji woofed at Rich and bounced around a bit. Rich made the dog sit down, for fear of contact with the mud that was still wet on his fur from the walk.

  ‘Sorry, should have mopped him down,’ Thea said as Rich kept his distance. Benji looked a bit hurt, she thought, and well he might, but he must be used to Rich being so damn fastidious by now.

  ‘Er … is that what you’re wearing?’ Rich said to her, indicating her jeans and big blue jumper and her Ugg boots.

  ‘Sorry? Well, yes of course it is, what do you mean?’ Thea looked down at herself, wondering if she’d accidentally put on something weird and hadn’t noticed. She had got changed in a bit of a hurry after school.

  ‘For dinner?’ he said, following her into the sitting room.

  ‘What dinner? I was only going to have some pasta and whatever I can find in the fridge,’ she told him.

  ‘But I’m taking you out!’ he said. ‘Didn’t you see the message?’

  ‘Er … no, I didn’t. Sorry.’ She picked up her phone and saw a text from him: Dinner at Olivier’s, as a thank you. 8 pm.

  He looked at his watch. ‘Hurry up, sweetie, we don’t want to be late.’

  ‘But I haven’t said I’ll go. And you thanked me already, with the lilies, which was very kind of you.’

  ‘Oh, but they were just flowers. I thought dinner, then we can chat.’

  It was only when she was in his car and wearing a snug old green velvet dress, make-up and rather uncomfortable shoes that Thea remembered how persuasive Rich could be. She didn’t particularly want to be here, doing this, and yet he’d convinced her, saying that she had to eat anyway, and they wouldn’t be out late, that the restaurant wasn’t far and wasn’t it a lonely old life for the single in London? So she’d ended up caving in.

  And it was good to be out, to be wined and dined and treated like someone special. It wasn’t that Sean didn’t do that – on the contrary, she always felt special with him – but the two of them didn’t tend to blow the budget in places that had proper linen napkins and a wine waiter flaunting the bunch-of-grapes badge of a qualified sommelier.

  They talked (or rather Rich did) about his job, about the poodles that his sister was still showing and breeding, about the flat he was now about to move into. It was only when they got to the coffee stage that she realized he hadn’t asked a single thing about her. She didn’t much mind: it had been a busy day at school, still endlessly rehearsing the nativity play and dealing with over-excited children geeing themselves up for Christmas. Only that afternoon she’d had to deal with the calamity of the oldest child in the class (all of seven years old) grandly informing the youngest few that Santa didn’t exist and causing near-hysterics to most of the rest. So she didn’t mind zoning out a bit while Rich went on and on about his own life.

  ‘I’ve missed you, Thea.’ She jolted back from thinking about how many sets of angel wings she’d need for the play as Rich put his hand over hers on the table.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she asked, wriggling her hand out from under his.

  ‘I was thinking, maybe I was too hasty last year. I’d like us to try again.’

  She laughed and then apologized, ‘Sorry, Rich. But honestly, that was the last thing I was expecting.’

  ‘Why? You must know I never stopped caring about you.’

  ‘Well actually, no, I didn’t know that. I thought you made it pretty clear at the time. You didn’t want children or me, you wanted poodle puppies and your sister.’ A passing waiter turned and gave them a look. She didn’t blame him – it wasn’t a statement he was likely to hear every day.

  ‘A man can change his mind,’ Rich said, going for her hand again.

  ‘Rich, I’m getting married in six weeks.’

  ‘I don’t see a ring.’

  ‘I don’t need one.’

  ‘He should have got you one. Only a cheapskate wouldn’t,’ he said, frowning at her left hand with its naked third finger. He smiled and reached into his inside pocket. ‘So, Thea, how about you wear mine again? We could get back to how we were. Marry me instead.’

  ‘Oh God, Rich, are you mad? Didn’t you hear a word I said? It was over ages ago, you and me. I met someone else and I’m marrying him. Please don’t do this. In fact …’ She put her napkin on the table and picked up her bag. ‘Please let’s just get the bill and go home. Honestly, this conversation is crazy. And I’m paying my half.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, you don’t need to do that.’

  ‘No, please listen to me. I do need.’

  He sighed and clicked his fingers at the waiter. Thea cringed inwardly, horrified. The bill arrived and she took a quick look then got out her wallet.

  ‘I didn’t have a pudding and you didn’t have a starter but my steak was more than yours so …’ He got out his phone and started doing calculations. If nothing else reminded her why she was so happy not to be with him any more, it was this. This and the finger-clicking.

  ‘Look, just split the thing,’ she said. ‘There’s no need for complex bistromatics.’

  ‘If you insist. But I’m s
ure I owe you £3.67.’

  ‘Have it on me,’ she said, getting up from the table. ‘I should get a cab back.’

  ‘No, don’t be silly, I’ll take you.’

  That ‘silly’ word again. How she hated it. She remembered he’d used it a lot, back in the day, thinking it suited her ‘cuteness’.

  The drive back was pretty much silent. Outside the house there was an awkward moment where Thea had to invite him in but make it clear that it was only to collect Benji.

  ‘Your dog awaits,’ she said as they went up the path. ‘I’ll just put his lead and his food bowls in a bag for you.’

  Inside the house Rich shifted about looking embarrassed. ‘There is just one more thing,’ he said. ‘It’s about Benji. I’d like you to have him. Think of it as a wedding present.’

  ‘But … I can’t take him to work with me, Rich, any more than you can.’

  ‘No, really, he likes being with you and my new job is going to involve travel.’

  ‘You’ve thought this through, haven’t you? This is really why you asked me out, isn’t it? A home for the dog?’

  ‘No, no, of course not! I hoped we could get back together, I really did. But I can see you need time to think about that.’

  ‘No, I don’t need time, sorry. I really don’t.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ He came towards her, putting his arms round her and squeezing her too hard towards him. ‘Why not let me take you to bed and remind you what we used to have, what we could still have?’

  ‘Let go of me, Rich,’ Thea said, struggling. He laughed and pulled even harder, pushing her towards the stairs. Benji started barking.

  ‘Rich, just fuck off, will you? Get off me!’ She kicked out and found a kneecap but all he did was wince. She shouted at him again, louder, and he pulled her up the first few stairs. ‘You bastard, what the hell are you trying to do?’ she shrieked at him. There was a noise by the front door, the sound of a key. She found a small reserve of strength and heaved Rich away from her, feeling the sleeve of her dress rip as he kept hold of her. The door opened and Sean came in.

  ‘What the hell is going on? I could hear you out in the street. Are you OK?’ he said.

  ‘She kicked me,’ Rich whined, rubbing his kneecap. ‘I was only—’

  ‘I know what you were “only”, mate. And if her shoe had connected with what she should have been aiming at, you wouldn’t be thinking of doing it again with anyone, ever. Now get out.’ Sean got hold of Rich, bent his arm behind his back, hauled him through the front door and flung him to the ground. He landed on the puddled pavement and swore loudly. Across the road, a light showed in Robbie and June’s bedroom and their faces could be seen, silhouetted against the light.

  ‘I think we’ve given them something to talk about for a while,’ he said to Thea as he came back into the house, closed the door and put his arms round her. ‘Are you OK, babe? I take it that was your bastard ex. What the hell did he think he was doing?’

  Thea gave a shaky laugh. ‘Believe it or not, that was the follow-up to asking me to marry him.’

  ‘Oh, nice. I presume you accepted his generous and honourable proposal?’ he said, grinning as he led her to the sofa. They sat down, wrapped around each other. Her fast-beating heart gradually calmed down.

  ‘You could tell, couldn’t you?’

  ‘Yep. It was all there in the body language.’ He touched her ripped sleeve. ‘Shame about the dress. I liked that one.’

  ‘So did I but I never want to see it again now. It’ll remind me.’

  ‘Aw, forgive the dress. It’s not its fault. Stay there a sec, I’ll get us a drink.’

  He came back with a couple of glasses of wine, and she asked him, ‘So how come you’re here? It’s fabulous that you are but I thought you’d be back in Cornwall by now.’

  ‘I couldn’t leave the Katinka thing like that till the next time you came down. I just wanted to tell you what happened because I didn’t want it festering. I thought I might as well come this way down from the north rather than the M5 and call in. Just as well I did, isn’t it? You might have ended up dumping me for your so-charming ex.’

  ‘Well, it would have evened up the previous-marriage score, I suppose, but honestly, there was never, ever any question of that. He only took me for dinner to thank me for having the dog over the weekend. Or at least, that’s what I thought it was about. I hadn’t a clue about the other thing. But … tell me about your wife number one.’

  ‘OK, what happened was … we’d been in Santa Monica for a contest, a whole bunch of us. And our sponsors treated us – well, they called it a treat, it was totally not our thing – to a few days in Las Vegas.’

  ‘All gambling and Elvis. Nice,’ she said. ‘Go on. Were you with Katinka at the time?’

  ‘Yes, but it wasn’t a big thing. We didn’t get together that much. The women’s circuit isn’t always the same as the men’s so we were mostly on separate continents. She was just back from Australia and I was about to go there so we only had those few days that time. But we all drank far too much and got talking about visas and the problems we sometimes had visiting various countries. Not everywhere thinks surfing counts as a proper competitive sport.’

  ‘I don’t see why not,’ Thea said. ‘It’s got to take more skill than, say, throwing a hammer. And things like fast running are mostly a matter of luck and genes, surely?’

  ‘Possibly, possibly. That and a lifetime of training,’ he said, nodding. ‘So Katinka said we should get married and then I would be able to get into America easily any time I wanted to.’ He smiled, rather wanly. ‘It seemed a good idea at the time.’

  Thea laughed, mostly with relief. She’d imagined him madly in love with the girl, and later pining that they’d broken up, rethinking the whole thing just as Rich had.

  ‘So we and our mates and our passports and however many dollars it takes went to one of those wedding chapels and did the deed.’

  ‘Oh – so you did marry her!’

  ‘Ah – well, yes and no. Mostly no. It turned out that the guy doing the so-called service was the cleaner seeing a handy chance to make a few crafty bucks while the real dude was out at lunch. Someone else who worked in the building saw what was going on and ripped up the papers before we even got out of the door. So it happened but it didn’t happen. Never got the dollars back though. That’s when I bought her the bracelet, for being kind enough to be willing to do that just for the sake of my visa status.’

  ‘Sweet of her,’ Thea said, feeling bad about too many things to list – she hadn’t been nice to Katinka.

  ‘So …’ Sean kissed her neck. ‘Can we go to bed now? Or have you still not forgiven me?’

  ‘Forgiven you? Have you forgiven me for going out to dinner with my ex?’

  ‘Oh yes, absolutely. It was worth it just to shove the bastard into the dirt. I’m afraid I really enjoyed that. Bad, isn’t it?’

  ‘He had it coming after mauling me like that.’

  ‘Sure did. So – can we go up now?’

  Thea stood up. ‘Yes, but could you just let Benji out into the garden for his late-night pee? I hate to say it, but I think we’ve acquired a dog.’

  ‘So long as he and Woody can find a way to cohabit, that’s fine by me,’ he said, stroking the dog’s ears.

  ‘And don’t come up till I tell you. There’s one thing I have to do first.’

  ‘What? Have you got another total knob of an ex-lover up there that you need to hide in a cupboard?’

  ‘No,’ she told him, ‘no lovers to hide. Just my wedding dress.’

  TWENTY-FOUR

  December

  It was late at night and Emily was in the kitchen, wrapping presents at the table. They were the small ones for the children’s stockings; she’d made sure that there was an equal balance between them so that there wouldn’t be a five-in-the-morning outbreak of ‘It’s not fair’ on Christmas Day. She loved doing this, loved assembling each child’s collection of goodies and assig
ning them to the named bags so they could easily be loaded into the stockings late on Christmas Eve. It was something she and Sam always did together, working silently and swiftly in their bedroom before they crept back to hang them on the ends of the children’s beds. Ned had a stocking too, of course. Anna had made it for him, as she had for the other two (and for Elmo back in his babyhood) out of scarlet felt with their names appliquéd on with Liberty prints, a different pattern for each child. Ned wouldn’t have a clue what was going on but that didn’t matter. She still knew he’d like his selection of baby toys – he’d taken to doing a lot of smiling and everything seemed to please him, especially his baby gym and things he could reach out and hit so they made sounds. She and Sam had bought him a beautiful Noah’s Ark containing hand-painted wooden animals. It was one of those for ever toys, nothing plastic or tacky about it. And although she knew it would hurt just as much when she trod on one of the carelessly misplaced animals in bare feet, it wasn’t something she’d then kick across the floor in painful fury. No, she’d pick it up and lovingly reunite it with its beautifully carved partner. In her head she projected years onwards: Ned giving it to his own children. Would she still be around to see that? She hoped so, God and good health willing.

  The Christmas tree was up in the sitting room hung with her favourite silver and white colour theme. Usually, she and Sam did that together too but she’d ended up decorating it alone as Sam had taken the children to the park on the afternoon she’d scheduled that it should be done. Today. She liked lists. Life went with the right smoothness if you had a list and the tree had been on the list for today.

  ‘You’re much better at that kind of thing,’ he’d said as he carried the boxes of decorations down from the loft for her. He hadn’t even helped her with the lights – which were usually his department – simply plonking the boxes down and going to fetch the children’s coats and gloves, barely saying a word. Without him, her heart hadn’t really been in it but she’d got it finished and waited to switch the lights on till they all came home.