He looked at her, wondering at the giving nature that had developed despite her parents. She was a good person, a beautiful woman, and a wonderful mother.
The sensations only Kenzie had ever been able to inspire the first time he touched her came roaring back and he didn’t understand how his mind and body had been able to put this woman out of his thoughts.
Meanwhile, he had never been far from hers.
“Do you remember helping me pass Algebra, Kenzie?”
A small frown formed between her eyebrows. “You aren’t stupid, Diesel. I just showed you a simpler way of looking at it.”
“I never thanked you for that.”
“That was like a million years ago.”
“Do you remember the girl I went to senior prom with?”
“Stacy Cooper.” She hissed the name.
“She tried to trap me into marrying her, said I got her pregnant. Turned out, she’d gotten pregnant from her step-brother and didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Not surprising. Both of them were gross.”
“My mom never told me how she found that out. All I knew was that she confronted Stacy and threatened to demand a DNA test. The entire situation evaporated overnight.”
“Mmm. That’s great.”
“Did you tell my mom, Kenzie?”
Her eyes met his and she sighed. “Our properties bordered each other. I saw Stacy and Skeeter fooling around in their back pasture. When she turned up pregnant, I thought he was probably the daddy. I mentioned it to your mom at the store one day. That’s all.”
Why hadn’t he asked his mom more questions? Because he was the golden boy and he assumed everything would always work out for him. When it did, time and again, he didn’t question it because he considered it his due.
Everything Kenzie said at the diner the night before came back to him. She had been a conquest, a one-night-stand, and like all the others, he hadn’t called her back. Even though he knew that for the first – and the last – time, he’d taken a woman without protection. A virgin. He believed the birth control story because he wanted to believe it.
Meanwhile, so much had happened.
He didn’t deserve another chance with this woman. He certainly hadn’t earned it. It didn’t change the fact that he wanted it, he wanted her.
“MacKenzie, are you in love with me?”
After a slight hesitation, Kenzie shook her head.
Diesel stroked her hair, cupped her head with his huge hand, and kissed her. She opened for him like a flower seeking the sun, instantly and without reservation. Her hands moved over his shoulders, stroking and kneading.
Kissing her had always blown his mind.
“MacKenzie, are you in love with me?” There was a longer pause before she shook her head again.
He tilted her back over his arm and kissed her jaw, down her neck, over the tops of her breasts. Her hands went into his hair. Diesel stroked her side from her breasts to her hip. When she was whimpering, breathless, and squirming in his arms, he lifted his head and stared into her dark eyes.
He repeated gently, “MacKenzie, are you in love with me?”
“I…didn’t mean to be, Diesel. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
She sighed. “I said it was all physical that night because I wanted one good memory so badly. Then I found out I was pregnant and I was scared but I wanted the baby, your baby, as a little reminder of you, of our night together. I don’t regret it because Dalton is everything to me, I love him more than I love myself. None of the rest matters.”
“You expect so little, Kenzie.”
“I’m satisfied with what I have, Diesel. I’ll never impose on your life.” She stroked his face. He hadn’t shaved in more than twenty-four hours and the stubble was substantial. “You look good with a little bit of beard.”
She stood and went to check on Dalton then went into her room to get dressed.
Chapter Nine
Diesel sat where Kenzie left him, his mind in turmoil. The guilt was the first thing he had to deal with. No matter how things ended up between them, he needed to protect his son.
That was the easiest part.
He took out his cell phone and called his lawyer. He told him about the immediate changes he wanted and didn’t give the man a chance to question his decisions. He made it clear that he was to have whatever paperwork he needed to sign ready and he’d be in to take care of it.
When the shower stopped a few minutes later, he went to talk to MacKenzie.
The bedroom door was partially cracked – probably so she could listen for Dalton – and he pushed it open. His heart practically stopped at the sight of her.
Framed in the sunlight-filled window, wearing nothing but a black bra and panties, she made quite the picture. Her hair was loose and flowing down her back, dark and silky. She had her jeans in her hand and turned when the door opened.
Where her stomach had once been board flat, it now had a gentle roundness. Knowing it was a result of his baby growing inside her made him instantly hard. He walked to her, his mind blank of all the things he’d been about to say, and dropped to his knees. He smoothed his fingertips over her tummy and kissed it.
“I was enormous. Dalton was a nine-pound baby,” she told him softly. He traced the tiny lines low on her stomach, where her body had stretched to accommodate their son. “Those will never go away. I don’t mind, a few more marks don’t seem to matter.”
Diesel stroked up her torso and cupped her breasts, asking questions without saying a word.
“I breast-fed at first but I couldn’t keep up…he needed so much, even then. I had to stop before he was four weeks old.” He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek against Kenzie’s abdomen. Her hands went into his hair.
He held her like that for a long time, her skin was soft and warm. “Do you have photos of you and Dalton over the years, MacKenzie?”
“I have thousands. I knew one day I’d have a chance to show them to you.”
“Why did you come in here, Kenzie?”
“I needed a few minutes to kind of pull myself together, Diesel. I’m not used to being so close to anyone but my…our son. You’re so…affectionate. Dalton is like that, too.”
He lifted his face and looked up at her with a small frown. “Surely you’ve dated.” She shook her head. “It’s been four years, MacKenzie.”
Her hand smoothed through his hair and down his face. “I was pregnant. Then I was busier than ever before.” She gave him a smile. “I told you you’d be the last for a long time, Diesel.”
Diesel stood up and cupped her face in his huge hands. “Kenzie…no one else?”
“I was a virgin until I was twenty-one.” She shrugged one bare shoulder delicately. “I’m picky.” He couldn’t hide his shock. “You look so surprised. I’m not sure if I’m offended or embarrassed.”
“Are you telling me I’m the only person you’ve been with, Kenzie?”
“Yes, Diesel. Yes, that’s what I’m telling you. I realize you’re used to fucking groupies who spread their legs for anyone with money in the bank but I’m not that way. I will never be that way.” She turned and grabbed her sweater off the bed and went in the bathroom.
He sat down in the chair by the window.
“Mommy owes de jar a buck,” Dalton said from the doorway, startling the crap out of Diesel. “Why you in here when Mommy changin’? Only I’m ‘lowed to see her wit’out all her clothes and I’m gettin’ too old. Why you in here?”
Heavy questions and no answer came to mind.
“Well, Dalton, I think we’ll let Mommy answer that, okay? Did you have a nice nap?” His son nodded and stared at him with unbelievable focus. “Is something wrong?”
“Jus’ tinkin’ you and me look de same.” Diesel’s heart started to pound. “I’m smaller but I’ll get real big. Mommy says so.” Dalton came closer and stood in front of him. He reached out and touched his hair, then touched his own with the othe
r hand.
“Mommy says I look jus’ like my daddy.” The little boy pinched his cheeks then picked up his hand and put it in his father’s much larger one. “You bigger. But I tink we still look de same. Do you tink so too?”
Diesel nodded numbly and for more than a minute, Dalton stared at him without saying a word. Finally, he put his hands on his hips and asked bluntly, “Are you my daddy?”
For just a moment, Diesel was dizzy. He wasn’t sure what Kenzie would want him to say or do in this situation but he knew one thing without a doubt: he wasn’t about to lie to his son.
“I am, Dalton.” The miniature version of himself stood still for a long time, absorbing this new information. He could practically see the connections happening in his bright blue eyes.
He may look like me, but he considers things just like his mama.
Then Dalton took two steps forward and slowly wrapped his arms around his neck. Before that moment, the first hug from his son, Diesel had never felt as if he would burst into tears. His arms crushed the little boy to him, sitting back and lifting him into his lap.
At his ear, Dalton said, “I tink you will be a good daddy and my bestest friend like Mommy says.” There was a pause. “Maybe you can take me to hockey sometimes so Mommy can sleep?”
He nodded to buy time, to swallow the unfamiliar lump in his throat. “I would love to take you to hockey. Your mom is going to have things a lot easier now, I promise. We’re going to take care of her together.”
Dalton nodded and curled up in Diesel’s arms. “I won’t be any trouble.”
“You aren’t even a little bit of trouble. You’re like a Christmas present I really, really wanted but didn’t get to open until the summer.” He got a huge smile in response and they sat that way for a long moment, just looking at each other.
“Can I call you Daddy?” Dalton’s voice was barely a whisper.
“I would like that very much, Dalton. So much.” He hugged him, inhaling the scent of little boy, baby powder shampoo, and…crayons? The tears he was fighting were getting harder to hold back.
“Will you carry me sometimes?” He nodded. “I’m too big for Mommy. I hurt her where her scar is. Uncle Thad had to carry her upstairs. I was cryin’ and cryin’ and Mommy wasn’t mad at all.” Dalton held his face firmly. “She is a very good Mommy.”
“I know she is.” Diesel ached at the mental picture of Kenzie in pain.
Dalton sat up and stared fully into Diesel’s face. “You better be nice to my Mommy. ’Kay, we should go play. Mommy uses de bat’room to cry when she’s sad or tired or not feelin’ good. She don’ like me to know so I don’ tell her I do.”
Diesel’s eyes went to the bathroom door.
Dalton jumped off his lap and pulled him out of the room by his hand. They sat on the floor and played with Legos, colored, then sat reading until Diesel fell asleep against the beanbag chair with Dalton crashed diagonally across his body.
MacKenzie made sure she was completely back together before she emerged from the bathroom. The apartment was so quiet and she went looking for Diesel. She found him, asleep with their son, in Dalton’s room and took about thirty pictures.
She knew Diesel hadn’t slept all night so she left them in peace and went to prepare meals for the next couple of days. Her mind raced over what had happened and what could happen.
Several hours later, Thad came home from school and gave her a hug. “It’s all fine, Kenzie. Take one thing at a time. Everything smells delicious.”
He went to change and checked on his nephew. When he saw Diesel and Dalton sleeping soundly, he took several pics with his phone and texted them to their sisters.
As she took a large tray of baked macaroni and cheese from the oven almost an hour later, Kenzie heard what had to be Diesel’s cell phone. It sounded like he was getting dozens of text messages.
Diesel startled awake but managed to catch Dalton before he rolled to the floor. He laid him on his bed and covered him up, leaning down to give him a careful kiss on the forehead.
Leaving the room, he checked the text messages that had woken him up.
“Who’s the kid? Looks just like you…?” from Digger.
“Bro, is that your KID?” from Damien.
“Why didn’t you tell me I had a nephew?” from Dean.
“Heck yeah, finally someone younger than us!” from Justin for him and his twin.
“Diesel, call your mother THIS minute!!!!!” from Mom.
The voicemails were similar. Good looking kid, is he yours, where’s he been, what the hell is going on, and all ended with you’d better call me, Diesel.
He walked down the hall and heard MacKenzie on the phone in the kitchen. “Jackie! You forwarded photos to Dean? Oh my god, no you didn’t! Oh no, Jackie. What were you thinking? Honey, we have no right to involve Diesel’s family. What? I…I’m going to pass out.”
Diesel could hear her pacing frantically.
“I can’t believe you guys did that. I don’t know what to do now. Do not preach at me, Jackie. My situation is just different. I need to control the fallout. No, I’m not mad. Miss you, love you.”
Kenzie turned to set her phone on the table. She was wearing an apron and holding a rolling pin. The yelp she emitted when she saw him standing there was priceless.
“Diesel! I thought you were still sleeping.” She backed up as he came toward her across the kitchen. “You must have gotten calls from your family. I can explain, Thad sent the girls pics of you and Dalton. They sent it to your brothers…I’m sorry, I really am. Just give me a minute to think, I’ll figure something out.”
He backed Kenzie against the refrigerator, his hands on either side of her. “Stop talking.”
Then Diesel kissed her until her body went limp in front of him. He rocked against her, let her feel how hard he was for her, and she moaned into his mouth. His hands settled on her hips, holding her in place. He wanted to make her come like this.
Life had other plans.
“Whoa! Damn!” Thad said and turned his back. “It’s the kitchen.”
Chapter Ten
Diesel leaned in and murmured against her ear, “We will finish this later, MacKenzie. There is no more running from me.” Then he stepped back and watched as she walked over to the dough she’d been making in a daze. “It’s safe, Thad.”
“MacKenzie, you’re making chicken and dumplings?” He looked at Diesel. “Dude, this woman can cook anything. I keep telling her to open a restaurant, but she thinks she needs a fancy degree and a real career. She won’t listen to reason.”
He snagged a piece of sliced carrot and kissed Kenzie’s temple. “I’m her biggest fan…well, next to Dalton. He knows the sun rises and sets on her. What are you guys doing later?”
“I’m finishing tonight’s dinner, I have class until nine, and then I have to do laundry and grocery shopping. I’m going to stop at that bakery you guys love…want me to grab your dry cleaning?”
Diesel crossed his arms over his chest and listened to her rattle off her insane to-do list.
“I have a better idea. Skip class tonight and I’ll take us to dinner. Then, I’ll get you out of the house to do something fun. Tomorrow, we’ll do your errands first, then we need to run by my attorney’s office. We’re going to discuss your crazy schedule…”
Kenzie opened her mouth and he shook his head. “Don’t argue before you hear my plan. It’s much better for you and Dalton. Since I know he’s your top priority, my plan should be well-received. Keep an open mind.”
“Daddy, you didn’ wake me up.”
The three adults turned to look at Dalton and Kenzie made a choking, gasping noise before turning back to the dough. Thad smiled at Diesel.
“Mommy, you makin’ dumplin’s? Can I help?” He pulled a step-stool up to the counter and stood next to his mom. Looking up at her, he asked, “Are dey happy or sad ones, Mommy?”
“Happy, Dalton. You okay, baby?” He nodded and patted Kenzie’s hand like a
grown man.
The men settled into chairs at the kitchen table and watched mother and son cook together. She was patient and encouraging. She told him his dumplings were better than perfect.
Thad picked up Kenzie’s camera and showed Diesel the pictures of him and Dalton sleeping. When he couldn’t stop his eyes from tearing up, Thad smiled and went to get one of many photo albums.
“This is the oldest one. I started taking them during the summer we moved here. I had to be sneaky since Kenzie doesn’t like her picture taken.”
Diesel traced MacKenzie’s very pregnant belly with his fingertip. He loved the pictures of her at the hospital before and after labor, looking exhausted but glowing, a huge Dalton in her arms. There were discreet shots of Kenzie breastfeeding, Dalton’s head blocking her breast, and the look on her face took Diesel’s breath away.
There was photo after photo of her time with him. From reading to skating to cooking together. Places she’d taken him. Always – always – they were smiling.
By the time Dalton scrambled down from the step-stool to go wash up and get dressed, he’d gone through two albums. As Thad and his son left the kitchen, he stood up and went to hug MacKenzie from behind, his mouth at her ear. “You are an amazing mom, Kenzie.” He slid his hands over her stomach. “I’ll see everything in person the next time.”
She went very still and he chuckled very quietly against her hair. “We have so many things to talk about. So many things to do. I’m going to start our conversation with lots of kissing, hugging, so you’re…open to what I have to say. I’ll definitely make love to you after.”
He glanced over her shoulder down her body. “Your nipples are hard, Kenzie. Are you wet?” She leaned her head back on his shoulder. “Are you? Tell me.” She nodded. “I’m glad. I want you to be wet for me. Do you want me, Kenzie?”
She whimpered softly and he grazed her ass so she could feel his erection. “I want you, too. Do you trust me?” She took a little longer, but finally nodded. “I want you to. I need you to. This body and heart belong to me, don’t they, Kenzie?” She was shaking when she nodded a long moment later.
Breaking the Ice Page 6