Forever Cursed

by Sarah J. Pepper

  Before I had escaped to my dreams, the horrible crimes I’d committed did not follow me there. The awful ways I had cursed others gave me peace in my dreams. Images of John’s deranged eyes didn’t haunt me. Michael’s pleas that death would have been more merciful if I had killed him didn’t echo in my thoughts. And the sight of a boy whose soul I had poisoned until there was nothing left but emptiness behind those blank stares was all just a nightmare.

  Sleep used to be my sanctuary. Now it was a prison where the people I’d betrayed kept me company. I wanted freedom from my reality and my dreams. I no longer thrived in the moment between reality and dreams. I was a prisoner.

  And then I heard that voice, that horrid mechanical voice which I had burned to memory long ago.

  “And so, the fairy falls for a human,” the voice echoed from the darkness. “Again.”

  Hearing Peter’s voice scared me more than anything. I dreaded that voice. Hearing him speak scared me more than losing myself to the person I once was with him.

  The edges of the darkness turned to vegetation. Trees formed from the shadows. Dirt formed underneath me. Humidity hung in the air. The stretch of rot became stronger as Peter’s laugh got louder.

  An old man stepped out from the forest into the undeveloped area where only grass grew in the dirt. Trees surrounded us. He was no longer a boy but a dying man.

  “If I hadn’t cursed you, you’d be close to a natural death,” I acknowledged.

  “I never did thank you for that, did I?” Peter chuckled. With his hands behind his back, he walked closer to me. “I never got to repay you for such an act of kindness.”

  “What I did to you wasn’t kindness, Peter. It was a curse.” My voice caught at the end.

  “I want to be reunited with you,” he carried on. “I wish to repay you with an act of kindness myself.”

  A chill shot through me. I scrambled to get up. At last, my body obeyed. However, my movements were slow, like I was moving in water. I pushed myself up when I saw James lying next to me. His breaths were slow and even. Yet the lines across his forehead had gotten deeper. And then that smell hit me. It was coming from James’ wound. I didn’t want to believe that it was infected, but it was undeniable.

  I scrambled over him, to protect him from Peter. I didn’t know the rules of this nightmare, but I would not chance James’ life. I would not wake from this hell only to have lost the love of my life in a place where the impossible was possible.

  “Your captain lives.” Peter’s rage was evident in his twisted smile. His demented eyes widened, framed by his creased brow.

  He might appear older as his skin sagged around his fierce expression, but the anger didn’t discriminate with age. I learned that long ago when I brought over children to this island—children who’d never know what it meant to truly live. Children like Mario. I knew my reflection was a lie, that I had lived lifetimes. Yet, the perils of time had mercy on my body. Once I’d lived in the immortal life that I was young, but my soul knew otherwise.

  “He may have survived an amputation, defied drowning, and outwitted death a number of times,” Peter snickered and glanced at the scar on James’ neck before staring at the remains of his arm. “But I can smell death on him. I shall enjoy killing this one again. This time I’ll watch. Oh, and I will make you watch. It will be something we can enjoy together.”

  “Why do you think I would enjoy that?” I fumed.

  “Then you wouldn’t have to choose between him and me.”

  I wanted to blanket James’ body with mine. I wanted to protect him from the wickedest creature I’d created. The very boy I crafted in my own image. Instead, I scrambled to my feet, hating that it was a struggle. I hated even more than Peter wasn’t restricted by the heavy air. That’s when I noted how he hadn’t dirtied his feet with sand.

  “You have stepped on Neverland once,” I noted, balling my fists at my sides. If death was possible in this dream, I would see his. “You know the rules about stepping foot on other land masses.”

  He waved his hand in the air. “I know all about the details of Neverland’s curse. Why do you think I needed those wings of yours?”

  I attacked him. Ready to tear my wings off his back with my bare hands, I ripped into him. But my body went right through his. I spun around at the sound of his laughter.

  “Tisk, tisk.” He wiggled a finger. “There will be time for murderous acts later.”

  “If killing is off the table, then why did you invade my dreams?” I demanded.

  “It is you who invaded mine,” he admitted. “Perhaps all the meddling with time and reality has finally gotten jumbled together and you’ll live out the rest of your days with me.”

  “I’m not spending eternity with you,” I seethed. My fingertips had gone numb. I might not be able to harm him physically, but I could tear him apart with my words. “I never loved you.”

  He burst out laughing. “Keep telling yourself that. I do recall the last time you lowered your defenses and fell in love. You loved me once, deny it all you want, but I will make you remember what it was like to be with me. The fun we had. The terror we caused. The rush of holding another soul in your hands and determining their fate. We can live as gods again. You can have everything you want again. You can have me.”

  “If I wanted you, I wouldn’t have left you on the island in the first place,” I sneered. I walked up carefully to him. I couldn’t remember the last time I was toe-to-toe with my shadow, but it must have been years. Even so, it had been much longer since I craved his death. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to kill a person who no longer had a soul to extinguish. I’d left him on Neverland, binding him to this hell for all eternity.

  But the boy found a way off the island. Somehow. Someway.

  “If you wanted to leave this place so badly, tell me, why were you so desperate to get the compass to find your way back here?” I asked.

  Peter tilted his head to the side, crinkling his nose. “Back here?” he repeated the words I’d just said. “Darling, have you found your way back to Neverland?” His mouth gaped when he peered down at my feet. “You stepped foot on the island.”

  I never wished I’d have killed someone as badly as I did in that moment. “Why come back here, Peter?”

  “Well, I simply must save you from this place,” he chuckled and pondered a bit like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to confess his true intentions. “I left something here that doesn’t belong.”

  “Like what?”

  “You ask the wrong question,” Peter said, circling around me. “Isn’t that one of the first things you taught me? Ask questions to get answers, not more questions.”

  He kicked James with his foot. I wanted to rip his off for doing that. But I held my ground. James was not in danger. Peter was merely tormenting me. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing it was working.

  Peter demanded, “Tell me, how did he survive?”

  I opened my mouth to tell him off but instead, he ripped the answer from my throat. “Mermaids.”

  I snapped my mouth shut. Magic worked in this nightmare. Peter had manipulated voices before, mine included.

  “Mermaids? Well, then a fishing hunt is in order.” A closed-lipped smile spread across his face. “What a grand adventure that will be.”

  He walked behind me. As much as I wanted to face him, I forced myself to stand still, like I wasn’t bothered by showing him my weak side. I could feel his eyes crawling over my skin like I still belonged to him.

  He slipped his finger up my back. “Too bad the disarmed captain can never touch you like this.” He grabbed my waist from behind.

  I spun to slap him, but he’d already floated back. “I will see you lifeless,” I snarled.

  He chuckled and then leaned close. His hot, foul breath hit my skin. “How does the sand feel between your toes? Being ground ridden sometimes feels like you’re suffocating, doesn’t it?”

  My lips were primed, ready to unleash any number
of hurtful truths which would sting as much as the one he’d mentioned.

  “Best get used to it since you will never fly again,” Peter laughed.

  “I will.”

  “I will see you chained to the ground so your feet never leave the soil,” Peter snarled, shaking his fists. “See you soon, darling.”

  Chapter 6

  Miss Bell

  This game Peter was playing did not make sense. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. I didn’t know why I’d connected with Peter in my dream. I’d never willingly dream of him, and even if I wanted to, I didn’t know how to work such a spell to bridge the connection. I needed help. Answers. I was desperate to find out why he wanted to come back to Neverland in the first place, and I didn’t know how to stop him. Worst of all, I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost James.

  As my heart pounded in my chest, I tried to open my eyes. But, like in the dream, my body refused to move even though my mind was awake. It was like I’d died but my soul had refused to leave behind my body. Dread brewed inside my soul. Peter’s last comment haunted me.

  How does the sand feel between your toes? Being ground ridden sometimes feels like you’re suffocating, doesn’t it?

  Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My chest wouldn’t expand. I panicked. It felt like I was drowning, but I was simply trapped inside my body.

  “Wake up!” James yelled.

  His hand slipped behind my back and pulled me up. Finally, I could open my eyes, but the rest of my body was still numb. Weak. I tried to take in another breath, but my lungs wouldn’t fill. I could only gasp. My throat burned with each meager breath I took, like I was inhaling boiling water. It tore through me, scorching me from the inside out. My throat convulsed. The little air that slipped into my lungs felt like I was swallowing gravel. I didn’t dare suck in another breath, but I couldn’t control my body. Suffocating would have been more merciful than swallowing the fiery air.

  “You’re choking!” James yelled. “Breathe, Bell. Breathe!”

  He smacked my back. Sand filled my mouth. As soon as I tasted the tiny bits of gravel on my tongue, I fell into a coughing fit. The sand had been lodged in my throat.

  “How did you get sand down your throat?” James asked, bewildered as he rubbed my back.

  All I could think of was this was how Mario must have felt when I suffocated him with the sand storm. How could I do that to him and feel so little remorse? I hated that part of me—the part that could just turn off all emotion and condemn others. It was so…inhumane. But I wasn’t human, not exactly. I wept. Between the sand and tears, I could barely clear my throat. I deserved to suffocate.

  James lifted my chin. “What’s wrong?”

  I wanted to tell James everything that had happened while I slept, but I could only get out sobs.

  “Pe…Peter,” I managed to get out.

  “It was just a nightmare, my love.”

  Frantically I shook my head. “Real…reality…the dream…dreamworld…they were the s…same.” Through shaky breaths, I told him what had happened in my sleep.

  He looked completely ruined; exhaustion was evident in the lines of his face. His clothes were dirtied. His beautiful chocolate brown hair fell all over the place, covering his blood-shot eyes. His beard covered his chapped lips. It was enough to crush my heart.

  “Oh, Miss Bell,” he muttered, brushing back traitorous tears that trickled down my cheeks. “Just look at you. Come here.”

  He pulled me against him, slipping his arm around my shoulders. My side against his torso. I brought my knees up to my chest and caught my breath when a sharp pain shot up my side.

  “Oh, Miss Bell.” James winced. “Try not to move.”

  I didn’t have the strength to argue. So, I straightened my legs out, letting them dangle over his. I took as deep of a breath as I dared and counted the seconds as I released it into the air. With each passing moment, I relaxed a bit more into him. He rested his chin on the top of my head and rocked me in his arms. I would have felt childish if it hadn’t been exactly what I needed. But it was like he knew exactly how to comfort me. He knew exactly what I needed. He made my chest tight. He made me feel like I had some shred of a soul left. He made everything feel less impossible.

  “My heart aches for you,” I whispered my confession so quietly I barely heard it.

  “I love you, too,” he whispered just as softly and kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much it hurts.”

  I pinched my eyes shut to keep more tears from spilling over. I nuzzled into the nook where his shoulders met his neck.

  When my ears no longer rang, and my lungs were no longer filled with air, I started to notice unsightly things—very unsightly things about myself. My leg hadn’t hurt until I saw how shredded it was. Then I remembered being dragged down to Davy Jones’ Locker by Alessia. I remembered being body slammed by Tethys. I remembered the utter exhaustion that followed working the timepiece spell.

  That’s when I noticed the bruises painted up my thigh, vanishing under my skirt. I lifted the corner of my shirt and then dropped it quickly upon seeing the black splotches.

  “What do mermaids have against you?” James inquired.

  I hesitated. “Kensington, the monarch of this island, was once in love with Kaleo, the mermaid doyenne. It turned sour.”

  “Care to elaborate?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “She loved the sea as much as she cared for him, so he banished her to it.” I hadn’t thought more explanation was needed until James looked at me with a blank stare. “Kensington loved her, but Kaleo loved the sea more.”

  “And so, he somehow turned their legs into fins?” James frowned.

  “That was actually my doing,” I admitted. “As much as I can’t stand the man, I respect him and his request seemed honest enough. So, when he came to me with a favor of giving Kaleo her heart’s desire, I worked my magic for him—for them.” I looked out into the distance. “At the time, no one could even take a step into the water. Kaleo missed the feeling of the waves splashing on her skin…” I shook away the memory and looked back at James. “But with any spell—with any curse—there are consequences. They lost their legs and so Kaleo could never again feel the water splashing on her skin. That wasn’t supposed to happen, but no one could have predicted the repercussions—other than there would be one. There is always a price to pay.”

  “So, he wanted to give her the sea because he loved her?”

  I sighed. “But now both act as if I cursed them on purpose. Both resent me and one another for it.”

  “There were dames on Neverland, but when you worked your black magic, all were bound to the sea?” James questioned.

  I nodded. “Any woman on Neverland’s soil lost their legs that day.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. Focusing on physical pain was better than the ache I still carried in my heart. I hadn’t meant to hurt anyone.

  “That’s why the mermaids have a personal vendetta against you,” James acknowledged.

  I nodded. “This was a cursed place before I assisted Kensington with his favor. That curse reacted with mine, bringing a rather unforeseen result. At least the natives can now bathe themselves in some parts of the sea. He was able to convince the mermaids of having a small section of the beach, though I don’t know the details of that particular agreement.”

  “So why don’t we just swim away?” James said, as if he was pointing out the obvious.

  “Neverland is tricky,” I replied. “It moves. You’ll drown after swimming for days, and I doubt this island will be out of your sight.”

  “But you got away.”

  “Fairy dust, my captain,” I said, rubbing my arms uncomfortably. “Magic resides in my bones.”

  “Aye,” James said and gathered my hands in his. “So, why are there no dames here now?”

  I raised a brow. “Getting sick of me already?” I teased.

  He gave me a peck on the forehead. “Never.” He rested his lips there a moment be
fore asking, “But truly, why no dames?”

  “That is per the monarch’s insistence, not mine. If he cannot have the one he loves, no one else can either.”

  “Blimey! And the fairies abide by this rule?” James asked.

  “Ever since Mab, my queen…” I didn’t want to talk about this. Ever. Anything remotely associated with fairy dust wasn’t something I was comfortable discussing. Not now. Probably not ever. The gruesome history made it all too painful—too real still, even though it happened long ago. “Fairies are not natural born fighters but rather survivors. Besides, there are not a lot of us around anymore.”

  “Are you up for a short bath?” James asked gently as if I’d scare. “I’d like to wash the redness out of your hair.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t trust my voice, so I nodded. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized we were no longer on the south beach—Marooner’s Rock. We were on the north beach, along the skirt of the beach where the forest and the sands met. It was exactly how I had seen my surroundings in the dream.

  “How did we get here?” I asked.

  James raised an eyebrow and studied my facial expression like there was some reason to be alarmed. “What is the last thing you remember, my love?”

  Staring off into the distance, I tried to recall all the happenings which had unfolded in the past couple days. “Mario’s death and then the mermaids…they pulled me to a place…” I thought of Davy Jones’ locker. There was no way I was going to bring up that underwater nether world. “They attacked me. I escaped with the use of the pocket watch.”

  Alarmed, I padded my breast pocket. I couldn’t lose my precious cargo. I swear my heart skipped a beat when I felt both of my most valued things were still there—the pocket watch and the seashell canister containing two priceless tears. I breathed a sigh of relief but winced when a stabbing pain cut my deep breath short.

  “My ribs are broken,” I acknowledged.

  James frowned. Whatever I said or wasn’t saying concerned him deeply. I never noticed how truly dark his eyes could become.