Days Like This

by Alison Stewart

  ‘You were going to inform on us, weren’t you?’ he bent and hissed at her, his face close to hers.

  Chrissie glared up at him, absolute fury in her expression. Lily was now sure that she had seen many more years than her body suggested.

  ‘You’re all perverted,’ the girl shouted. ‘You don’t deserve to live, none of you. Look at yourselves, you’re old and disgusting.’

  ‘Put her in the barred room.’ It was Peter’s soothing voice, coming from the back of the crowd. ‘We’ll deal with her later. Everyone go back to what you were doing. No need to get excited. Give them to Rosemary,’ he said to the woman holding the drugs and serum.

  Chrissie began crying again, pitifully now. The man pulled her to her feet and dragged her away, none too gently.

  ‘She’s got something to do with this,’ Sal said.

  Lily couldn’t believe it. Sal was pointing at her.

  ‘Yes, you,’ Sal hissed.

  ‘I have not,’ Lily shouted, realising she sounded defensive, and guilty.

  ‘Why on earth would you say that?’ Rosemary said to Sal, astonished.

  ‘She came in yesterday as well. A decoy, probably, to take attention away from the other one.’

  ‘You’ve got a fertile imagination, Sal,’ Peter said mildly. He moved forward and took her gently by the elbow. ‘Go back to your room now, Sal, and cool down. We don’t make allegations around here unless we have substantial proof. Have you got evidence?’ he asked. ‘No, I didn’t think so. Now go.’

  Sal turned and stalked off and the crowd dispersed gradually, but not before some of them glared suspiciously at Lily. Back in Rosemary’s blue-walled room, Lily flopped down on her bed.

  ‘Why do they say that girl’s a spy?’ Lily asked when she felt less rattled about what Sal had said. She didn’t want to discuss the accusation because then she might have to explain about Sal seeing her and Luca together.

  ‘Well, only people on the Committees program can get the serum and drugs,’ Rosemary said. ‘It’s not the first time the Committee has sent someone over the Wall to infiltrate our community. The idea is that these people gather their information and go back to the Committee and inform on us. I suppose the Committee wouldn’t give a damn about us if we left them alone, but we don’t. They really don’t like it when we disrupt their serum production or their energy supplies.’

  ‘So it’s happened before?’ Lily said.

  ‘Yes, but the informers have never ended up going back. Not so far, anyway.’

  That sounded ominous.

  ‘What do you mean, Rosemary?’

  ‘Well, we have to stop this cave system from being discovered at all costs,’ Rosemary said. ‘If that means the informers come to harm, then so be it. Sometimes the infiltrators fight back and are killed. More often, we take away their serum and they age quickly and die. We don’t make these decisions lightly.’

  Lily thought about what she knew. She knew the Committee evicted people who did not fit their program. She knew they had built a Wall to exclude and eradicate people. She knew they manipulated people with drugs and that they exploited, abused and killed children. And she knew how the Blacktroopers ruthlessly enforced the Committees cruel rulings.

  ‘You only do what you have to do,’ she said to Rosemary.

  FIFTEEN

  Lily was restless. If she had her way, she would have already gone back over the Wall. Now she had too much time to think about all the unsettling things she’d learned.

  Lily kept returning to what Rosemary had told her about Luca’s sister. She wondered whether Luca’s parents once loved Luca’s sister as Lily’s parents had once loved Alice. She remembered how her father had spoken hatefully to Alice, ordering her to dress for dinner with Max. That was the last time Lily had seen Alice. What had happened since then? What were her own parents capable of doing to her little sister? Lily shivered.

  At dinner time, Lily took her bowl and went to find Luca, following Rosemary’s reluctant directions. He was sitting alone in his alcove, a curtain half drawn across the entrance.

  ‘Luca?’

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘Can I come in?’

  ‘Sure, if you like.’ His voice was flat. Still, he cleared a pile of papers off a stool so she could sit down. His dinner bowl was on the floor.

  ‘You didn’t finish your food,’ she said.

  ‘Tastes like crap, as usual,’ he responded.

  Lily sat down gingerly, her own bowl on her lap. She looked around, hugging herself to keep warm. Luca’s alcove was sparse except for a series of charcoal drawings stuck up around the walls.

  There were no people in the drawings, just trees with weird gnarled trunks and bare, misshapen branches; trees that had fallen over and had blackened stumps. It was all pretty grim.

  ‘Luca, I was hoping you’d talk to me about something,’ Lily said tentatively.

  ‘What?’ He sounded distracted.

  Lily persisted. ‘I heard about … about your sister. I’m really sorry.’

  He stood up abruptly. Lily thought he was going to run out, but he reluctantly sat back down again, running his hands through his hair.

  ‘I’m afraid for my brother,’ Lily pushed on. ‘His name’s Daniel. I’m scared he’s either dead or a floater in the draining facility. And I’m worried about my sister, too. Alice. She’s only thirteen –’

  ‘Who told you?’ Luca cut in sharply.

  ‘About your sister? Rosemary,’ Lily said.

  ‘She had no right.’

  ‘I think she was only trying to help. She knows my sister’s in danger.’ Lily held her bowl on her lap. She’d completely lost her appetite.

  ‘She had no right because she was one of the people who persuaded me not to go back,’ Luca said.

  ‘Oh! I didn’t know that. Um, look, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’ll go now.’

  Lily reached for the curtain, but it was swept aside and Sal marched in. She looked Lily up and down. ‘Oh, it’s the little spy. You can’t stay away from him, can you? What a loser,’ Sal said.

  Lily flushed. She pushed past Sal, but not before she caught the girl’s triumphant sneer.

  Lily was grateful to find Rosemary’s alcove empty. She threw herself face down on her bed, as lonely as she’d been before coming over the Wall. She eventually fell into a fitful sleep and was again haunted by terrible dreams. She saw Daniel lying still on a trolley, his skin old and mottled. She dreamed of needles piercing her body and of a girl hanging, her body swinging lazily in the breeze from an open window. She woke to find Rosemary kneeling beside her bed, looking worried.

  ‘Are you all right, Lily?’

  ‘No, I’m not all right!’ Lily spoke more harshly than she intended.

  ‘Luca told you, didn’t he?’ Rosemary said. She heaved herself up and sat heavily on her own bed.

  Lily rolled over so she could see Rosemary’s face.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me that you tried to stop him going back for his sister? Why did you just let me think there was something wrong with him?’

  ‘There is.’

  I know, Lily thought, but you still should have told me.

  Rosemary fiddled with the fringe on the blanket, tugging at it and agitatedly twisting it around her fingers.

  ‘Do you not like Luca because he makes you feel bad about yourself whenever you see him?’ Lily said. ‘Would you prefer him to just go away so you don’t have to think about your part in his sister’s death?’

  ‘Lily! That’s harsh.’ Rosemary’s face crumpled.

  It was harsh, but Lily had had enough. Her emotions were all over the place and she was tired of trying to work people out. She just wanted to concentrate on going as soon as possible to find Daniel and Alice. And, if she was honest with herself, Lily was probably also upset with Rosemary because Rosemary was right about Luca. Not that Lily could tell her that.

  ‘I’m sorry Rosemary, I shouldn’t have said that. I just wi
sh you’d been a little more honest with me.’

  ‘Am I interrupting?’ Kieran ducked inside.

  ‘You’re fine, Kieran,’ Rosemary said. ‘Look, Lily, I’m sorry. None of us is perfect. We’ll talk later, okay? I have to go now and check on Pam again.’ With a nod to Kieran, she left.

  ‘Anything I can help with?’ Kieran said.

  Lily shook her head. She would have liked to tell him, but she didn’t think that would be fair to Rosemary.

  ‘Well, I’ve just come to give you this.’ Kieran held out a large, perfectly formed, bright-red strawberry. ‘The scavengers brought a few in. I thought of you.’

  Lily smiled. ‘It’s gorgeous. Thanks, Kieran.’ Lily bit into the strawberry. ‘Wow, it’s really sweet. Here, try it,’ she said.

  ‘No,’ Kieran shook his head. ‘It’s all yours.’

  ‘I’m glad you came.’ Lily wiped strawberry juice from her mouth. ‘We’re still going over the Wall tomorrow, aren’t we?’ she asked.

  ‘Sure. If Rosemary and Peter reckon you’re okay to go.’

  ‘Of course I am. I’m fine. Kieran, if you make me wait, I’ll just follow you, I swear. I’m coming with you and that’s that.’ She jumped up, glaring at him.

  ‘Whoa!’ Kieran took her by the shoulders and gently sat her back down on the bed. ‘The Blacktroopers have stepped up their patrols since we brought you in. We just have to be sure you’re up to our pace, that’s all.’

  Seeing her expression, he quickly added, ‘You’re one tough cookie. I’m sure you’ll be all right.’

  He seems like a decent person, Lily thought, realising she knew very little about him.

  ‘How long have you been here?’ she said.

  Kieran shrugged. ‘A few years.’

  ‘Were you rescued from a draining facility, too?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘I’d really like to know your story,’ Lily prompted him.

  Kieran ran his hands through his hair. ‘My family wasn’t well off. My mother got sick and we didn’t have money for treatments.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Lily said.

  ‘Then they put up the Wall. Our house didn’t fall into the water inclusion area so the Wall cut us off completely from the “privileged” part of Sydney. There was chaos, hardly any water or food. My mother died soon after the Wall went up. My father tried hard to forage for food and water for us, but eventually he gave up and died, too.

  ‘The Blacktroopers demolished only the houses closest to the Wall to make their no-man’s land. Our house was further away so at least I still had a place to stay. But people were living like animals, scavenging to survive. There was looting and ransacking. You couldn’t sleep much for fear of what might happen. It wasn’t just the Blacktroopers who were killing people. neighbour’s were killing neighbour’s. You had to stay alert, or you were dead, too.’

  ‘So what did you do?’ Lily said. She was shaken by what he was telling her.

  ‘I stayed for a while, but when it got too bad, I left. I followed the road to the mountains. There was no food or water, nothing. It was awful, there were dead bodies all along the road; people who hadn’t made it. To cut a long story short, someone found me and brought me here.’

  He shrugged again. ‘That’s it.’

  They sat silently for a few minutes.

  ‘I’m sorry for making you tell me that,’ she said.

  Kieran put his hand over hers. ‘It’s okay. I know your story. You should know mine.’

  ‘Thanks again for rescuing me. You were beyond brave. I mean it.’

  He grinned. ‘There’s strawberry juice on your nose, Rudolph,’ he said. He gave her hand a quick squeeze and stood up. ‘Get a good night’s sleep.’ He slipped out of the alcove.

  ‘Just remember, I’m coming with you!’ Lily called after him.

  Lily was up before Rosemary in the morning. This was the day. Peter had promised, Kieran had promised and she was going. She flexed her arm. It was fine. Her feet were tender, but not swollen. She could barely feel the wound at the back of her head.

  As she pulled on her clothes, she thought about the night before. It had been awkward. When Rosemary had returned to the alcove, neither of them had mentioned the business with Luca. They’d spoken politely before rolling over to sleep. Lily didn’t sleep though, or only fitfully, listening to Rosemary’s breathing.

  Lily was scared, of course. Scared of the future, scared of what she’d find when she went back over the Wall.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about Alice. The more Lily thought about it, the clearer it became. Max had taken Alice somewhere on that last night Lily was in the house. From what Greta had said, it was most likely Max was taking her to the breeding house.

  Lily found Greta over near the children’s play area. Greta wasn’t joining in, just watching from a stone ledge off to one side, legs swinging like the kid she still seemed to be. No one took much notice of her. Maybe they were used to her presence.

  ‘Hi, Greta, do you remember me?’ Lily said.

  Greta stayed silent. Lily was wary of pushing her because of what the girl had been through.

  ‘Can I sit?’ Lily asked.

  Greta gave a slight shrug. Lily took it as a yes.

  ‘I’ll just get to the point. You know I’ve got a sister about your age,’ Lily said gently. Silence. ‘Greta?’

  ‘I know You said,’ Greta finally replied.

  Okay, so she remembered. Lily ploughed on. ‘I want to go back and find her. Especially after what you told me,’ Lily said.

  Greta was silent.

  ‘You should go back. You should find her,’ Greta said finally.

  Lily took a deep breath. ‘Yes, but I’m not sure where she’d be. On the last night I was at my parents’ house, someone took Alice away. She didn’t want to go. The man who took her is a friend of my father’s. His name is Max. Maximilian.’

  Now Lily had Greta’s attention. Her clear pale eyes stared right through Lily and beyond, to a different time and place. Lily felt terrible for Greta, and she wanted more than anything for Alice to avoid what Greta had been through.

  Lily went on. ‘It’s possible he was taking my sister to the same place you went.’

  ‘it’s probably too late,’ Greta said. ‘If she was taken when you were still there, it’s all happened by now it’s too late.’

  Lily gritted her teeth, resisting the urge to yell at Greta, to take her by her puny shoulders and shake her and say, ‘I know this, I know!’ Instead, she said, ‘All the more reason to try and find her now Will you help me?’

  Greta pressed her lips together. Lily was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with her, but she had to persist. This slight girl, who kept her horror pressed tight inside, was Lily’s only hope.

  Lily tried again. ‘Do you know where they took you?’ she said.

  Greta nodded. She was now perched on the edge of the step, as if ready to flee. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly open.

  ‘Greta.’ Lily touched her shoulder, but the girl flinched so Lily took her hand away quickly. ‘Can you describe where the place is?’

  ‘Yes. When I got pregnant, after they brought me home, I still had to go back to that place for examinations. So I know exactly where it is.’

  She was suddenly animated, as if a tiny valve had flicked open and who knew what waited to bubble and steam forth.

  ‘Will you show me? Will you come back over the Wall and take me there?’ Lily asked.

  Greta looked away from Lily, staring again at the children.

  ‘Greta?’

  ‘You don’t even know she’s there.’

  ‘I have the strongest feeling she is. Please.’

  ‘Do I have to?’

  ‘No, but will you? Maybe we can get my sister out, Greta.’

  Greta sighed, a giant, resigned intake of breath. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay?’ Lily wondered if she’d heard Greta correctly.

  Greta shrug
ged slightly and nodded. ‘That’s what I said.’

  Before Lily could thank her, an awful screaming started up somewhere in the cavern. Greta jumped up, her hands in front of her as if to ward off an attacker. A low moaning came from the back of Greta’s throat, almost a growl. Lily wasn’t sure what scared her most – this inhuman noise coming from Greta or the horrible howling, which had set off a cacophony of echoes and panicked yelling around the cavern.

  Lily sprang up, flinging her arms around Greta. Delicate bones shifted under Greta’s thin top and Lily held her tighter, perhaps hurting the girl, but she had to stop the moaning. Greta broke free and ran off towards the screaming, leaving Lily shaking.

  Everyone nearby froze, looking towards the sound, before springing into action. Most stumbled towards the noise while parents and carers rushed around gathering the children, herding them into an alcove near the entrance stairway. Lily ran towards the noise.

  ‘What is it?’ a woman next to Lily asked.

  Suddenly, the voices fell into silence.

  ‘It’s Nerita,’ someone said, and the voices started up again, layering upon one another until they became a wail, ‘Nerita!’

  Over the heads of people in front of her, Lily could see that quite a young man was bent over, sobbing. He held a young woman in his arms. Blood ran in a fine line from the edge of the woman’s mouth. She had no other obvious marks that Lily could see, but Lily knew without a doubt that the woman was dead.

  The man raised his head, tears streaming. ‘That girl’s got away. She killed Nerita. She’s dead, isn’t she? Someone help her, please,’ he called desperately.

  Mary pushed through the crowd and placed her hands on Nerita.

  ‘I’m so sorry. Sandro, she’s gone,’ Mary said, putting her arms around the man.

  Still clinging to Nerita, he buried his face in Mary’s shoulder. When he shifted slightly away from the dead girl, Lily saw that she had been stabbed in the stomach and the entire front of her shirt was soaked in blood.