Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Volume 5

by Chautona Havig

  Before anyone could reply, Willow carried her cup to the kitchen, added a log to the stove, grabbed her coat, and let herself out the back door, not caring that it slammed shut behind her. Chad surveyed the room curiously. “I haven’t heard anything from Granddad. What aren’t you saying?”

  “I’ve been thinking. That’s all.”

  “About what?” Carol’s initial voiced disapproval hadn’t been repeated, but it was clear from her features that she hadn’t changed her mind.

  “Well, a lot of the objections expressed are concerning Willow and her work here.”

  “She’s up at sunrise, in bed late, and even has to hire help to get it all done. Where will she put in another baby?” Marianne nodded her support of Carol’s words.

  “All of that is optional.” David looked at Chad. “What would happen if Willow discovered she couldn’t keep up with the farm or the expansions you’ve made on it?”

  “She’d either hire it out or put a stop to it. The boys come first.”

  “But she hired—”

  “Someone to do the housework—”

  “—instead of doing it herself,” Carol finished without acknowledging Chad’s interruption. She shook her head, visibly frustrated. “Her solution, when she couldn’t keep up, was to hire out the work closest to home and family. What will keep her from hiring out child care from eight to five every day when the boys get more active?”

  “That was my solution to her overworking herself.” David’s quiet correction seemed to reverberate around the room.

  Seeing the shift in discussion, Marianne kicked Christopher gently. “Help me explain.”

  “I can’t.”

  Stunned, she blurted, “Why not!”

  “Because I don’t happen to agree with you. Libby has children that close together. They never seemed to suffer for it. Aggie—”

  “And what if Willow gets pregnant half-way through this girl’s pregnancy? Can you imagine the turmoil for that poor girl when she has to find another couple to adopt her child when she thought she had the perfect family?”

  Chad’s quiet voice answered before Christopher could formulate a coherent response. “We wouldn’t renege, Mom.”

  “Glad to hear it, son.” The pride in Christopher’s voice was matched in David’s eyes.

  “What!” Carol and Marianne stared at each other, stunned.

  “If we agree to do this, we’re not backing out when it becomes inconvenient.” He took a deep breath. “Besides, the specialist in Rockland says that he doesn’t think Willow can conceive without intervention.”

  “So, she does the drug thing again—”

  Christopher nearly exploded at his wife. “I never thought that you could be such a hypocrite, Marianne. After the grief you gave Willow about doing it in the first place…”

  “I was just upset that she left Chad out of the equation!”

  “Um, Mom?” Chad’s voice indicated a dissenting opinion. “No, you terrified her with stories of multiples. Willow won’t risk Clomid again. Not that I blame her,” he hastened to add.

  David preempted a new round of questioning with his own. “So, tell us. Why did you ask us here? What did you want to hear?”

  Before Chad could answer, Carol pointed to the back door. “Shouldn’t someone go out there? Isn’t she going to feel ignored?”

  “Willow didn’t leave to get attention. She’s out there talking with the Lord, and we’d just be intruding.”

  David nodded at Chad’s answer and gestured for him to continue. “Which gives you time to tell us what you think.”

  “We wanted to know if there were concerns we should have considered and didn’t, and we wanted to know if you thought having the child’s father around all the time would make things difficult.”

  “I take it you already decided that the closeness of age isn’t a problem for you?” Christopher waited for his son’s answer.

  “Yes.”

  “So you are mostly concerned with this boy being in your home with his child that you are raising?” David rephrased as a way to stall his response, and the others knew it.

  “Yes.”

  Seeing David’s hesitation, Christopher broke in. “I think it could be hard—very hard. The boy may decide he regrets his decision. If he’s around in a few years, if you have to discipline that child, he may find it hard to take. He may also think that because he is the biological father, he has a right to input on how the child is reared. All of that can make a hard situation harder.” Before Chad could respond, Christopher continued. “But, I think it might also be a very nice thing for him. Even with the downsides, Ryder will see daily that his actions have consequences, even if they’re good ones for someone else, and it might make him a more careful person in the end.”

  David nodded. “I was thinking that since this boy isn’t saved, it’d be a perfect, in his face daily, example of how God adopts us as His own. It might open doors of discussion that he otherwise wouldn’t have entered.” Sending Carol a look of apology, he added. “I think giving this baby a home to avoid abortion is reason enough to accept. However, even without that, this is an excellent opportunity for Ryder to see Christ’s love in action. He’d be unlikely to see that even from another Christian family, because he wouldn’t see his child again. If you want a yes you should or no you shouldn’t from me, I’m saying yes.”

  “I second the motion,” Christopher added.

  “But—”

  Christopher turned to his wife. “Did you hear what Chad said? He said that Willow wasn’t willing to use the Clomid again. He said the doctor thinks they won’t conceive without intervention. We can’t know that another opportunity like this will come.”

  “They can seek it out later, Christopher. They can go to an agency, go to China, go to Ethiopia…”

  “How many people do we know who have said the same thing but never did it—including ourselves?”

  “But—”

  “You don’t have to agree, Marianne. I’m not expecting you to hold my opinion, but Chad asked for it, and I gave it. I think they should do this.”

  Carol, wrestling in prayer while the discussion continued around her, opened her eyes and said, “My objections are personal and selfish. I answered based upon what I would have done. If Willow thinks she’s up to the task, if you support her, I’m one hundred percent behind you. I do not want her to ever think that my concerns over this idea were out of a lack of interest in the child.”

  Grateful, Chad stood and hugged Willow’s grandmother. “Thank you.”

  “Oh, Chad! You don’t think we’d reject the child!”

  “Honestly, no. I didn’t. I don’t even think Willow assumes that, but I can’t be sure. You know how she is. She doesn’t think like we expect her to sometimes.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.”

  As Chad left to go get his wife and tell her they had the family’s blessing, he overheard Marianne ask Carol, “Oh, I wonder what the baby’s name will be!”

  January—

  It’s been two weeks since we told Ryder and Chelsea that we’d adopt the baby. We made three requests of them. First, that she use Dr. Kline. After all, we’re paying for it; we want a doctor we trust. She was fine with that. We’ll take her to whatever appointments her mother can’t take time off to go with her. She said she could drive herself, but if she got bad news at an appointment, I think she should have someone there with her. She agreed. Second, we asked for an ultrasound or two if necessary to find out what the baby is. That made her happy. I guess Ryder convinced her that I wouldn’t want her to submit herself to unnecessary intervention. I just want to know if I can start sewing pink or not! Finally, we asked them both to go to counseling with us. We’re all going to talk with Tom Allen. Since Ryder is such a part of our lives, and since Chelsea and her parents live so close and will see us with the baby, we wanted to be sure that we know how to relate to one another as things change.

  When Chad first suggested it, I though
t he was crazy. I’m not accustomed to thinking like that, but Granddad, Dad, Mom, and Grandmom all agreed that it was a brilliant idea. Renee the lawyer did some research for us and said that she thinks it’s a good idea. I hope they all know what they’re talking about. To be honest, I only agreed because I think any time at all with those two and an open Bible is a good idea.

  Someone left the greenhouse door open and we lost everything. Ryder is out there now, clearing out the old, adding it to the compost pile, and replanting new. The celery was a huge disappointment for both of us. It takes so long to grow, needs such cooler temperatures, and my customers are disappointed. Apparently, it tastes better than store stuff. We’ll see soon. Chad is bringing some home for soup.

  Lately, I spend my days playing with the boys, working with wool and then spinning it, and planning the fall Boho line. I am so glad I got spring’s done ahead of time. Chad found a place that will print my own fabric designs, so I had him order what I designed and it arrived today. This is going to be so much fun! Is it wrong to hope this baby is a girl so I can design for her too?

  Lee and I talked about the designing thing. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep up and do the samples as well as the designs. I told her that I thought I should resign now, because it’d be hard for them to find someone to do it in time if I got too busy. Apparently, that isn’t an issue for her. She assures me that if I draw them, they’ll get someone to make them if I can’t. She even offered to send a seamstress to the house to work with me so that any changes I want to make during construction can be done. I guess the line is that successful. I’m still amazed when I see a child walking down the streets of Fairbury wearing something that I imagined, drew, and then sewed into a sample for a store! Mother would be proud. Even though she would never have done it herself, she always liked what I came up with for us.

  The boys are ten months old. Time seems to zoom by so quickly these days. They wander all over the furniture, but neither one is willing to let go. They’ll walk all over the house holding onto our fingers, but I’m going to be stooped permanently if I let them do it much more. The pediatrician says they’re almost dead center of growth charts even though they’re twins. They say twins are usually a little below average for the first couple of years or something. I get confused with it all sometimes. You’d think with the numbers, I’d get it, but I just can’t quite understand it all. Oh well. I suspect that it’s really because I just don’t care. They’ll grow when they grow.

  Chad says they’ll be walking by their first birthday if not before. We already have to put the gate at the top and bottom of the stairs to keep them off the silly things. They like to bang things together and make noise, but I think my favorite thing is to watch them “talk” to each other. They do it. Chad thinks I’m crazy, but I can tell that they understand each other. They’ll sit and play, one will grunt and babble something, and the other will respond. It’s amazing. I thought they should try to talk more, but everyone tells me that they’ll talk when they’re ready. Liam says no, but he says no for everything, so I don’t think he knows what he’s saying.

  I have some amazing pictures of them and Chad with them. I don’t have Wes’s talent, but I have managed to copy his style on several shots. It’s obviously a copy—uninspired so to speak, but I love it and that’s all that matters. There’s one of the boys sleeping in the crib, Liam’s hand is lying on Lucas’s cheek. So sweet. I have it hanging in the hallway. Chad turned it into black and white before we printed it. I need to learn how to do that stuff, but I hate staring at that stupid screen.

  Marianne cracks me up. She brought me this body brush, some kind of mineral salts, and some kind of body oil. I’m supposed to use them to help get rid of the excess skin and stretch marks. I don’t know if it’ll work, but since she obviously did it as a result of my whining, I kind of feel obligated to try. I’ll be careful about complaining about anything too personal—who knows what she’d send then! Eek!

  The boys are up from their naps. I hear them shaking the crib together. They do that. It’s amazing. They stand there, and shake the upper rail until it sounds like an earthquake in there. Honestly, there are times I’m afraid they’ll rock it over! I think we’ll all take a nice walk to town and see Daddy on beat. He likes it when we do that. I need to remember to thank Grandmom for that stroller again. It is the best thing ever.

  Chad set the journal back on her bedside table and tiptoed from the room. His shift started in thirty minutes. As he stepped from their bedroom, he glanced across the hall at the closed door to Kari’s old room. The new baby would likely sleep in there. He opened the door carefully and glanced around trying to imagine it in daylight. It’d need a few changes, but he hoped Willow wouldn’t change too much. If they moved the big dresser out of the room, there’d be room for a crib in the corner. That’d be good.

  He drove away from home, ready for a new day at work and his heart swelling with gratitude. He’d had a thought for a while, and now it was time to talk to the Chief. “Lord, if Chief Varney would agree to it…” Sighing, he gripped the steering wheel harder, “I’d be so grateful.”

  Chapter 155

  “I know it’s unusual, but you’ve been saying you need another guy but can’t afford one. Maybe if I was just part time—” Chad saw Chief Varney’s expression turn south, and he decided to throw in the one thing he knew might help the most. “Besides, I don’t care what days I do work, as long as I get a couple of days off in a row. Working weekends is good with me.”

  “Being a cop was everything to you when I hired you. What happened, Tesdall?”

  “I got married, had kids, expanded the farm... I want more time with them. I could quit, I probably should, but I don’t want to give up something that means so much to me. I’m not ready to go that far yet.”

  “I’ll think about it, Chad. I’ll talk to the mayor and see what he thinks about the budget. He’s been talking about a quarter percent tax increase to pay for another officer and another fireman, but maybe if I presented him a budget with another guy but only a partial increase—” Varney gave Chad an apologetic look. “It’d mean a delay in your promotion. I couldn’t give you one so soon after you cut your hours.”

  “I’m good with that. As long as I keep the insurance, income isn’t what matters to me.”

  “Well, get that paperwork done and then get home. You’ve got a family that needs you.” The chief waited until Chad sat at the community desk the officers shared. “Chad?”

  “Yessir?”

  “I’m proud of you, son. Adopting that baby like that…” Varney nodded approvingly. “It’s a good thing you’re doing—the right one.”

  “Thank you, sir. We think so, but not everyone agrees,” Chad admitted.

  “Well, they would if they were that baby.” All the way home, Chad remembered those words. Willow would understand it more than anyone he knew. Chief Varney was right. Only their baby would truly understand what a right thing it was that his parents did.

  Chad already thought of the baby as a him. His mother, Willow’s grandmother, and even Willow all prayed like crazy for a baby girl, but he refused to think about it. It was better to expect a boy and get him than hope for a girl that might not come. Another son would be an amazing blessing. With all the work they were creating with their expansions, those boys, in just a few years, would be a huge help. He needed to focus on that aspect and ignore the occasional flights of fancy that included pigtails and pink gingham dresses. It troubled him that he knew what gingham was or that it was appropriate for little girls’ dresses.

  He sighed as he pulled into his normal parking spot in the driveway and stared at the empty space left by the van. They weren’t back from the doctor’s appointment yet. Chelsea was only ten weeks—hardly far enough along to hear the heartbeat, but Chad hoped Willow would hear it loud and clear. Her journal entries for the past few days had centered on a safe pregnancy for the baby and for Chelsea and requests that the baby would cooperate d
uring check-ups and ultrasounds.

  As was customary on the occasions when he arrived home to an empty house, a note on the table told him where to find his meal, where she was, what needed to be done, and interjected some tidbit of her day.

  Chad,

  Chelsea and I will probably be gone longer than we initially expected. She spoke to the nurse yesterday when they confirmed the appointment, and apparently, they’re going to do an initial ultrasound—something about measuring her pelvis and stuff like that. I don’t know why they can’t do it when she does the one later to see what the baby is. Maybe the baby hides the bones or something. Anyway, poor girl, we’ll be enduring one of those awful internal things together.

  When I found that out, I decided to drop the boys at Lily’s. You were in court, so I didn’t call. I figured a note would suffice.

  Your sandwich is in the icebox and there’s chili in the crockpot in the summer kitchen. I’ll move it to the stove when I get home unless you have the time to keep watch on it. Then you can move it if you like.

  Clyde is bringing out a truck for 103 and 108 to butcher. He says they’re ready, so I called the next people on the list and got their orders. We’ll have some leftover for us too. He thinks 112 and 104 will finally be ready in another couple of months. He’s never steered us wrong, so I’m going for it. If they’re gone, he’s already been there. If not, maybe you could move them into the barn to make it easier.

  Liam said, “Daa—yeee” when you drove away today. It was so cute. I’m going to try to record him doing it with the camera next time.