Monkeying Around [Drunk Monkeys 10] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tymber Dalton

  Zach laughed. “You’ll never retire.”

  “I’ll never say never.”

  “Don’t you want to relax, kick back, and enjoy your successes?”

  “It’s not a success yet. Not until we clean out the rats for good.”

  “What about the Supreme Court?”

  “I’ve already talked to them. The three who are close to retirement were glad to hold off until you get into office and name replacements. They’ll get fast-tracked for confirmation, well before the elections.”

  “Do you really think I’m going to win the election?”

  “Absolutely. Besides, wait until you see the dirt I have on your opponents.” He smiled. “The indictments for all of this won’t really start until after the election. I’ll have anyone I think is questionable campaigning their ass off for you regardless of their party. They’ll do it out of fear.”

  “And won’t know they’ll get indicted anyway.”

  “Exactly.” Arliss sighed. “You would not believe the shit Ax dug out of Silo and Arbeid’s private computers. Stuff that wasn’t on the church’s network. Amazing. Including video evidence. So since Hannibal is dead, they can’t claim they’re victims of extortion any longer.”

  Zach snorted. “Well, they sort of are. From you.”

  Arliss waved his hand. “That’s different.”

  “So we guarantee the win and rub salt in their wounds after the fact?”

  “Yep. You’ll carry over in a landslide as a grateful nation elects you into office. Right now, we need to focus on getting people protected with the vaccine and back to work. That alone will insure that you’re elected, because no matter what their political bent, they’ll remember that it was this party that ‘saved’ their asses.”

  “And then?”

  Arliss stood. “And then, maybe we can finally get back to being the United States of America again, instead of the United Corporations of Contributors.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tank pulled herself together, washed her face, grabbed more coffee, and then headed to the common room to watch the special news conference being broadcast live from the White House. Everyone was there from Tank’s group, the Drunk Monkeys, the scientists, a lot of the base personnel—all of them standing or sitting with their attention glued to the large TV screen.

  Tank had lost count of how many cups of coffee she’d already consumed that morning. It didn’t matter.

  What mattered was the President, looking pale and shaky and reading from a prepared statement Arliss had no doubt written for her.

  Tank guessed that based mostly on the general’s smug look as he stood behind the President—now former President. Standing next to the VP—now President—Arliss slowly nodded while she read.

  As if he knew the message by heart already.

  Of course he does.

  Tank had known this was the plan, to time everything perfectly so that the shit didn’t stick to the VP when Arliss made his move.

  That pretty much everything had gone according to plan almost scared her. She trusted Arliss, trusted what he was doing, what he’d said. Because she’d seen and grokked the larger picture.

  The Kite vaccine was going out to the “common people” as promised. It was being distributed free of charge to everyone, as quickly as it could be produced. There was no tier of preferential access except for medical personnel, law enforcement, first responders, and military. No priority for ability to pay more for it.

  In fact, she knew one of the VP’s first acts would be issuing an executive order forbidding medical providers from charging for it or in any way profiting from Kite vaccines.

  Any fuckery in that system and Tank would have quickly blown it wide open. But Arliss had, so far, stuck to his stated plan.

  “That’s check and mate,” Echo said from where he and Omega flanked Chief. “And no offense, Madame President, but you’re a fucking cunt for what you did to Barstow!” he yelled at the screen as he flipped it a bird.

  Most of Tank’s group laughed, but Tank kept her focus on the screen. When Arliss had first recruited her for this mission, she hadn’t been sure she’d wanted to do it. She’d spent nearly all of her military intel career directly or indirectly serving under the man’s command, and had seen the integrity of his work from afar, heard nothing but good things about him from other officers.

  When he’d sold her on the mission, and she’d agreed to go all-in, deep cover, she knew what she was getting herself into. If something had happened and Arliss had been deposed or killed, she understood it meant she was vulnerable to being exposed as a “traitor” to the United States.

  Which was why Arliss was using “retired” agents for work like this. They couldn’t be traced back to him, and it would be more difficult for anyone else to track their involvement if the operation was exposed. They could, hopefully, fade into the shadows and disappear back to their regular lives.

  TMFU and Kite had changed the rules of the game, though. No one had time to pay attention to what Arliss was doing, until Hannibal Silo had tried to fuck with the man.

  Massive mistake.

  From the rumors Tank had heard about Arliss, he enjoyed a challenge. One of the reasons he’d done so well over the years, because this was his entire life. Once he was widowed, he’d completely devoted himself to his work.

  The VP was sworn in as President, and the Speaker of the House was sworn in as VP. Then the new President made a quick statement as the former President was ushered out by several Secret Service agents, at least two Tank had been through training with.

  SOTIF. She knew it.

  “While this is a somber day, it’s also one for celebration,” he said. “A Kite vaccine is, even as I speak, making its way out to the public. It will take us several weeks, possibly months, to get everyone vaccinated. Meanwhile, we ask for the public’s cooperation and patience. Maintain all current precautions. Avoid crowds. Your local authorities will alert you when to come in for vaccinations. There will be no charge, and all citizens, including infants and children, must get the vaccine. No exceptions.

  “Once a majority of our nation’s population is vaccinated, then we’ll start reopening schools and loosening restrictions on public gatherings and performances and getting our country back to some semblance of normal.

  “I’m also going to be restructuring the IRS and revamping campaign finance laws. If I have to use executive orders to do so, then that’s what I’ll do. I need our country’s populations protected from big money interests trying to divert what’s best for the people into their own pockets.

  “Also, because I feel very strongly about what it is that we’re doing to stop the spread of Kite, I am opening dialogues with other countries immediately about restructuring the UN to institute world-wide changes. But our primary focus will be healing and protecting our own citizens first. I will take a couple of questions.”

  The press corps went apeshit. President Craymer looked like he was trying to decide who to call on first when he chose a reporter from one of the major news networks. “Yes.”

  “What comments do you have on the evidence being released online about what happened in Barstow, LA, and New York?”

  “I am still evaluating that and being briefed. I was not involved in it. I was kept in the dark and I am as horrified by what I’ve seen as everyone else is. I assure the American people that I will be ordering full investigations into the situations.”

  “Will there be charges pressed against people involved?”

  “I can’t say there will, because I have to wait for the official findings. I assure you, whatever is appropriate will be done.”

  Another reporter nudged in. “Will you sign a Presidential pardon for the people involved, including President Kennedy?”

  Tank slowly shook her head, barely stifling her smile as the man answered.

  “I will reserve those decisions for after an official investigation is completed. Anyone who has committed criminal acts shou
ld be held accountable for them.”

  The smirk finally escaped Tank. That was Arliss hedging his bets, dangling the possibility of a pardon over Charlotte Kennedy’s head—and the heads of others—to make them dance to his tune until he was ready to sacrifice them. They wouldn’t dare oppose him because he held all the cards at this point.

  Another reporter spoke up. “There have been unsubstantiated rumors of a wave of resignations in the military and across other branches of government this morning. Can you comment on this, Mr. President?”

  “I cannot comment at this time because I am still being briefed about this situation. It is very fluid and chaotic right now. My first priority is making sure all Kite vaccine labs are heavily protected, and that shipments of the vaccines are protected so that they can be distributed as quickly as possible. I will ask for the public’s patience as I work through all of this.” He offered a smile. “I haven’t even had a second cup of coffee yet this morning.”

  That earned him a wave of laughter from the press corps. She didn’t miss how Arliss also smiled and nodded.

  Tank snorted. “Son of a bitch,” she said. “He planned it even better than I thought he did. Wily old bastard.”

  The new President continued to answer questions, some of which Tank suspected had absolutely been planted by Arliss, returning the focus to the Kite vaccine, answering questions about the evidence posted online and now spreading like wildfire, and assuring the public that considering how this had ripped the globe apart, he would insist on full transparency in the process, including declassifying files, if necessary, to make sure the public got the full truth.

  Tank understood that it meant only the files Arliss approved, the stuff they’d splashed across the globe.

  “How did this hacker group obtain all this confidential information?” a reporter asked. “Doesn’t this mean that our nation’s military security is compromised?”

  Arliss must have prepped him for this question as well. “Let’s be honest,” he answered. “Parts of California are now literally barren wasteland, ghost towns. Beyond disaster areas. It is not unfathomable in my mind that hackers obviously as dedicated to their cause and as skilled as they are at what they do were able to take advantage of that situation to leverage it into what we are now looking at. I, for one, am thankful to them for their efforts. I promise to issue them full Presidential pardons and guarantee their immunity.”

  Another round of cheers went up from Tank’s people. She watched them, breathing a sigh of relief over their reactions.

  He wasn’t done. “Furthermore, I pledge to give full pardons and immunity to any of the scientists on The List who are alive. If any of them are outside of US territories and wish to pursue asylum with us, all they need to do is contact the nearest US consulate and seek shelter there. They will be transported to the US to safety. North Korea is the villain here. They are the cause of this, and they no longer exist as a nation. The individual scientists were trying to disable the program from within when their plans were unexpectedly compromised because of events beyond their control. I cannot fault them for what they did in those circumstances.”

  “Can you comment on the special forces teams that were referred to in the story?” a reporter asked.

  “I cannot, because I’m still being briefed and not fully up to speed yet.” He turned to General Arliss. “Would you like to address this?”

  Arliss nodded and stepped forward. “I can confirm the existence of special operations units who helped facilitate the safe location and protection of the scientists and their vaccine research despite the efforts of fanatical and hostile religious forces to stop them. Apparently, the hostile factions were attempting to destabilize our country by using the Kite virus as a weapon so they could attempt to turn our nation into some sort of religious-based government of their design.”

  Slick. Tank would have laughed outright if she’d been alone.

  “Because of our special operations teams, we were able to keep the scientists and their work protected until they formulated a vaccine. The attack on the CDC was instigated by those fanatical forces in an attempt to stop their work and take control of a vaccine. I can say that we had intel gathered from that attack, which pointed to those fanatics wanting to control a vaccine so that only people of their particular religious beliefs could get it.”

  Wow. She wondered how long he’d worked on perfecting that spin.

  “President Craymer and Vice-President Kirkman will be fully debriefed throughout the day and brought up to speed about what we now know and what we’re learning. We’ll update everyone this evening at the next press conference.”

  “How did this hacker team end up working with the government? It sounds like they’re now under protection.”

  “A deep-cover liaison helped get them to safety, and they are currently being protected. I won’t reveal anything beyond that to protect their identities until a more appropriate time when we can insure their safety. They are a group of citizens so dedicated to protecting our Constitution from forces within our own government who tried to usurp it, that they deserve our protection and our praise for their brave and selfless sacrifices.

  “They’re also heroes in this story. They risked their lives to collect this information and to get it out there to the public. I personally had been unaware of this secret cabal within our highest ranks of government until all of these revelations. But I assure you, from this point forward, I will do everything in my power to work with the President and Vice-President to insure nothing like this can happen again, and rid our government of anyone who is involved in this mess.

  “Congress will have to act immediately to protect our citizens. This assault on our Constitutional rights and liberties cannot stand unpunished. And I assure the American people I, and Dr. Karsu, will make protecting them from Kite, and ensuring food production and distribution, our immediate top priorities. We have to get our nation back to work as soon as possible. This is not an insurmountable problem, but it will take a lot of work and cooperation from everyone to make it happen.”

  Tank had been so absorbed watching the press conference that she’d missed the fact that Papa and Alpha had moved to position themselves behind her.

  Alpha patted her on the shoulder. “You did good, sugar.”

  She reached back and patted his hand, lacing fingers with him before realizing what she was doing and jerking her hand free.

  Unfortunately, it hadn’t been missed by Orson. His gaze narrowed as he studied her.

  Shifting her position, Tank stepped forward, trying to focus on the TV again.

  When the press conference ended, she tried to head for the door leading toward their quarters area, but Orson stopped her.

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  Several of their group had gathered around, confused over his tone and the confrontation.

  “What are you talking about?” Tank asked, feeling the inevitable explosion congealing in her gut. “You heard them. We have full immunity. You’re all heroes.”

  “A ‘deep-cover liaison’?” He slowly shook his head. “You’re one of them, aren’t you?”

  Sylvan looked confused. “What?”

  “I’ve been with you guys since before TMFU,” Tank said. “One of your group. One of you. Who helped keep you alive?”

  Orson stepped in closer. “Who seemed to be a step ahead of the government in terms of keeping us alive? Who always managed to come up with intel we needed, or leads, or even money? How did you know to get us out of LA and away from Barstow?”

  “It was a damned earthquake.” Tank hoped to salvage this but realized she was on the losing end already. “We had to leave. Riots. Kiters. Or didn’t you see what I saw?”

  “You talked us out of going to Barstow,” he said. “You made us divert around it even though some of our families were going there. Why?”

  Multiple options flashed through her mind, scenarios from having them all locked up to shutting down their Int
ernet access, to…

  She slammed the door on those thoughts.

  Time to nut up and face the piper.

  “I told you,” she quietly said, “to tell your families not to go to Barstow. Didn’t I? Multiple times. I begged you, all of you, to ask them to leave the area immediately and go somewhere else. Anywhere else.”

  “You didn’t tell us why, at the time. What did you know?” he screamed, silencing the room. Now some of the Drunk Monkeys who’d started to leave turned on their heels and headed back, their tense posture indicating they were on alert. Papa and Alpha had once again positioned themselves right behind Tank, this time defensively.

  Indeed. What had she known?

  At the time, she hadn’t known exactly what would happen in Barstow, except it was going to be really, really bad. Bubba hadn’t even known until just after it happened.

  Tank had assumed it was the risk of Kite contagion.

  “I was told that Barstow was a bad place to go and absolutely under any circumstances not to go there. To avoid it at all costs. I wasn’t told why, at the time. I learned about it pretty much the way you all did.”

  “From who?” Orson screamed. Omega reached out, caught his shoulder, and gently pulled him back.

  “Easy there, buddy,” he warned. “Keep it civil.”

  “Who are you?” Orson screamed. “Tell me who the fuck you really are! There is no Colonel Tanaka in Germany or in Manila! I looked, there isn’t. Your parents don’t exist. Who the fuck are you?”

  Now the rest of her group was staring at her, awaiting her answer.

  Tank studied her feet for a moment before finally meeting Orson’s gaze. She shed the role of twenty-two-year-old hacker student and steeled her spine. The thirty-four-year-old major was back, and she wasn’t about to stand for insubordination.