All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy

by Jennifer Ryan

  “Something smells good,” he said as he unbuttoned his shearling coat. “After all that shoveling, I could eat a bear—teeth, claws, and all.”

  Alana buttered the bread before placing it in the pan. “It looks like you were doing more than shoveling snow. You cut down a tree?”

  He nodded. “How are Hawaiians at decorating?”

  Using the spatula, she pressed the sandwich down in the pan. “Not as good as cowboys at making breakfast, but I might be able to manage. Got any coconuts?”

  He paused in the midst of pulling off his coat and flashed a wicked smile. “No, but I’ve got some pretty nice balls.”

  As much as Alana knew she was walking on thin ice, she couldn’t seem to help herself. “Says who? I think you should pull them out and let me be the judge.”

  He registered surprise for a split second before he laughed. “Only if you promise not to be too harsh. They’ve been around the block a time or two and are a little worn.”

  “I bet they are,” she said as she watched him open the closet and pull a large plastic tub down from the top shelf.

  The glass ornaments turned out to be beautiful antiques. After they had eaten dinner, Alana carefully unpacked them while Rand put the tree in a stand and strung some white lights. Once the ornaments had hooks, they both started hanging them, Rand on the top branches and Alana on the lower. It should’ve seemed strange to be decorating a tree with a man she barely knew, but somehow it didn’t. In fact, as the night progressed, she felt like she had known Rand for most of her life. It was the exact same feeling she’d had the first time she’d e-mailed Clint. Obviously, the McCormick brothers were personable and easy to talk to.

  “Some of these ornaments were my great-great-grandmother’s.” Rand stood on the ottoman and hung a tarnished silver angel on the top branch. “She and my great-great grandfather built this cabin in the eighteen hundreds and raised seven children here.” He glanced around and shook his head. “I couldn’t even imagine. I grew up with three siblings in a five-bedroom house, and, at times, it still seemed too small. It must’ve been nice being an only child.”

  “Not really. It was lonely.” Alana secured an ornament on a branch. “And it sounds like Clint must’ve done more than mention me.”

  He shrugged. “Brothers talk. Although I got the feeling that he confided in you much more than you confided in him. Hiding something?”

  “Maybe I’m just a private person.”

  “Private people don’t usually look for love on the Internet.”

  She moved back over to the box and chose another ornament. “Not that it’s any of your business, but maybe I was a little leery about giving too much information to a possible stalker.”

  “If that was your worry, then why choose a dating service?”

  She set down the antique Santa and turned around. “Because it’s easier than trying to find the perfect man on my own, especially in the vacation capital of the world.”

  “And exactly what are the attributes of this perfect man?”

  “Reliable. Honest. Hardworking. Punctual.”

  Rand stepped down from the ottoman and tipped his head. “That sounds more like prerequisites for a job than a boyfriend.”

  “Of course you would think that. Especially since you have none of those attributes.”

  “And how do you know that?”

  “Your cocky attitude. Your good looks. Your athletic body. And your sex drive. It has been my experience that men like you are only interested in one thing: instant gratification.”

  “And what’s wrong with instant gratification?”

  “Nothing if you only intend to have a one-night stand. If you want something long-term, you need someone who is willing to sacrifice their own wants and desires for the good of the relationship.”

  He studied her with that squinty-eyed look. “And what are you willing to sacrifice for a good relationship?”

  She hesitated for just a moment before she answered truthfully. “My sexual attraction to good-looking, selfish men. My father made the mistake of falling in love with a self-centered woman and has paid for it his entire life. Fortunately, I stopped myself before I could make the same mistake.”

  “Ahh.” He crossed his arms. “Now I’m getting the entire picture. You aren’t looking for a soul mate. You’re looking for someone who won’t break your heart like your mother broke your father’s. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works, Alana. Because no one is perfect. Not me. And certainly not Clint.”

  “You sound like a jealous sibling to me,” she said. “What? Is Clint the golden boy and you’re the black sheep?”

  He studied her. “Obviously, Clint didn’t share enough. He might not be as rowdy as I am, but he spent a few years on the rodeo circuit and drank and partied with the best of them.”

  Alana was surprised by the information. Clint had never mentioned the rodeo, and she suddenly realized that she didn’t know all there was to know about her Internet boyfriend.

  “And by partying, do you mean women?” she asked.

  “He’s had his share. Most just stops along the way.”

  She stared at the twinkling lights on the tree. “It’s funny, but he didn’t seem like the rowdy cowboy type. To me, he seemed so sensitive—so caring.”

  “Maybe because you bring the best qualities out of him.” He stepped closer. “And isn’t that what love is all about, Alana, finding the best in each other?” He walked over and took a framed picture from the mantel. “My great-great grandma didn’t come with my grandfather from Boston. She was a Sioux Indian who was traded to him for five beaver pelts and a couple bottles of whiskey.” He handed her the aged sepia picture, and she studied the beautiful, dark-haired woman and the serious, blond-haired man as Rand continued. “I can’t say what my grandfather had in mind to do with a pretty Indian girl, but since she couldn’t speak English, I don’t think it had to do with her mind. This is their wedding picture taken a few years and two children later.” He pointed to the simple silver band on the woman’s finger. “They were married for fifty-three years before my grandfather died of a stroke.”

  He took the picture and put it back on the mantel before returning to stand way too close. His hand curled around her chin, and the simple touch had her breath halting.

  “I agree that it’s important to have the same interests, but physical attraction has to be there, too, Alana.” His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, and she shivered. “So tell me. If you had met me first, would you have given me a chance? Or would you have fought against the attraction, assuming that I was insensitive and uncaring?”

  “I would’ve fought,” she said. Even though she wasn’t fighting now. With his warm lips so close and his eyes so beseeching, she couldn’t even take a step back. All she could do was watch as his lips came closer . . . and closer.

  Before they made contact, he whispered, “Fight away.” Then he kissed her.

  Alana had been kissed on windswept beaches. Beneath full Hawaiian moons. And against fiery sunsets. None of those kisses had made her feel like this kiss did. It felt like home. Like everything she had ever wished for—loving parents, a large family, a place to call her own—had just been handed to her on a glide of sweet heat and a wave of desire that left her insides trembling from the force. In the hands that wrapped around her waist, she felt a lifetime of protection and strength. In the body that pressed against her, she felt shelter from the storm. In the lips that gently assaulted her, she felt a passion she had never known before. And it would’ve been so easy to sink into the dream. So easy to slide her hands around the strong cords of his neck and accept what he offered. So easy to let him sweep her up in his arms and repeat all the heat of the night before.

  Except easy wasn’t what made for lasting relationships. Easy was what her mother did. And what her father had done when he discovered her mother cheating. He’d taken the easy route. He’d left everything behind and moved to someplace that was easy. Alana refused to do tha
t. She was willing to work for her happiness. No matter how hard it was.

  She pulled back. “No. I won’t settle.” She shook her head and tried not to look into those stormy blue eyes. “I want it all,” she said. “I want the sensitive, caring man who recites Shakespeare to me. And I want the teasing man who makes me laugh. And now I realize that I want—no, need—to have the passion. But not with you, Rand. Not with a man who isn’t ready to settle down. Not when I want forever.” Avoiding those penetrating eyes, she pushed the two chairs together and made a bed for herself before she headed for the bathroom. “Good night, Rand.”

  Before she closed the bathroom door, he said something that sounded a lot like “That’s my girl.”

  Chapter Six

  ALANA WOKE TO a warm feeling of contentment. That feeling didn’t change even when she focused on the twinkling lights of the half-decorated Christmas tree or the fire that flickered in the fireplace. In fact, it grew more intense when she noticed the breakfast tray that sat on the nightstand. A breakfast tray with coffee, juice, and an envelope with her name on it. When she sat up and reached for it, she glanced back at the living area.

  As much as she had been willing to sleep there, when she came out of the bathroom the night before, Rand was curled up in the chairs, his face turned to the fire. But he wasn’t there now. The chairs had been moved back and the blanket was folded and throw pillows placed in the corners. The neatness made her smile. The smile faded when she read the note inside the envelope.

  Don’t give up on happily-ever-after.

  Alana stared at the note, and her contentment melted away like the icicles hanging outside the window. Not because of the words, but because she knew what the words meant. This was Rand’s way of saying good-bye. He wasn’t the type who was looking for a happily-ever-after. But he wasn’t the irresponsible cowboy she thought he was, either. And she wouldn’t be too surprised if he didn’t somehow try and give her a happily-ever-after with his brother Clint.

  But it wouldn’t work. Not after the time she and Rand had spend together. Even if Rand kept the secret, she couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Clint deserved better. In fact, he deserved to hear the truth face-to-face. Hopefully, the roads were cleared and the roadside service could get her car out of the ditch.

  She called them before she took a shower and was sitting by the fire waiting for them to call her back when the door flew open. It wasn’t roadside service. Or a good-looking cowboy. It was another beautiful woman. But at least this one was dressed.

  “Hi! I’m Hanna.” She stomped the snow from her cowboy boots before stepping inside with a bright smile on her face. Alana recognized the blue eyes immediately. “So where’s my ornery brother?”

  Alana hesitated. As much as she planned on telling Clint what happened, she didn’t exactly want his entire family knowing. But it looked like she didn’t have much of a choice.

  “I’m not Rand’s girlfriend,” she said. “She came by yesterday, but I’m—”

  The young woman laughed. “Of course you’re not that brassy cow.” She opened the closet and pulled out a coat that she tossed at Alana. “We better hurry up. Mama is tired of my brother hiding you away and has breakfast waiting. And she gets angry as a fire ant when her food gets cold.”

  Alana cringed and wondered how Clint’s mother would feel when she discovered her son’s Internet girlfriend had slept with his brother. But she didn’t have much time to worry about it before she found herself straddling a snowmobile and hanging on to Hanna for dear life. Without eye protection, she was forced to duck behind the young woman and pray she didn’t fall off. She didn’t know how fast they were going, but it must’ve been pretty fast. Before she knew it, they were stopping in front of a sprawling ranch house that looked like it belonged on a Currier and Ives Christmas card.

  Twinkle lights adorned the manicured scrubs and the eaves of the wraparound porch, and a massive holly wreath hung on the bright red front door. A door that opened as soon as the young woman cut the engine.

  “They’re here!” a blond-headed boy bellowed back over his shoulder as he hurried out on the porch. “It’s about time, Hanna, my stomach is touching my backbone.” He gave Alana the once-over. “I can’t see what all the fuss is about.”

  A handsome cowboy came out the door. “Don’t mind Bud,” he said as he took the porch steps in one leap. “Once he goes through puberty, he’ll figure out what to do with a pretty woman.” He held out a hand and helped Alana off the snowmobile before pulling her into his arms for a friendly hug. “I hope you like pancakes because Mama made enough to fill the entire state.”

  Since Alana had met the other three siblings, this had to be Clint. Obviously, she’d been wrong about what a sensitive cowboy looked like. There were no glasses. No button-down shirt or suit. Just a virile cowboy who looked very similar to Rand in his faded jeans and flannel shirt. Although he wasn’t close to being as good-looking or sexy. In fact, she felt no physical attraction to the man whatsoever.

  The realization had guilt rising up, and she knew it was time to end the farce.

  “I need to speak to you.” She glanced at his two younger siblings who had already started up the porch steps and added, “Alone.”

  His blue eyes so much like his brother’s registered surprise. “Well, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea—”

  “It won’t take long,” Alana said.

  He studied her for only a moment before taking her arm and calling out, “Tell Mama I’m going to check the horses and we’ll be in after a while.” He led her down the cleared road to a bright red barn. It struck her as odd that the ranch would have two red barns—one close to the cabin and one this close to the house. If she hadn’t been so worried about how to tell Clint who she was and what had taken place at the cabin, she might’ve asked him about it. Instead, she struggled to organize her thoughts as he led her into the barn and closed the door behind them.

  The barn was dark and smelled liked hay and manure. She briefly glanced around before she turned to Clint and got straight to the point.

  “I’m not Rand’s girlfriend. I’m Alana.”

  His eyes popped open wide, but she didn’t wait for his reply as she rushed on.

  “After I told you I couldn’t come, I changed my mind and decided to surprise you. I got caught in the blizzard and my car got stuck in a ditch. And when I got out to try and find the ranch house, I got lost. Rand found me and took me back to the cabin. I had this bottle of rum in the car and I was . . .” She paused. “No, it wasn’t the alcohol.” She swallowed, hoping that he would put two and two together without her going into detail. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. But I’ve come to realize that as compatible as we might be in other areas if there’s no physical attraction, then things would never work out.”

  “So you think that I’m—” He stopped. “You don’t find me physically attractive?” He looked so hurt that she tried to explain.

  “It’s not that you aren’t nice-looking. It’s just that I don’t find you—”

  “Nice-looking? Just nice-looking?” He stared at her in disbelief. “Do you need glasses, honey?”

  It was such an egotistical thing to say that Alana wondered if she had heard correctly. Where was the humble man who had said that he was just an average-looking cowboy with slightly bowed legs and unruly hair? And why wasn’t he more concerned with her sleeping with his brother than he was about her not being attracted to him? Before Alana could figure it all out, a loud bawl had her looking toward the stalls.

  “Maaaw.”

  Alana shot a glance back at Clint before she walked over and looked inside. There was Bambi, her eyes big and soulful. She reached in to scratch her soft ears when a thought struck her. How had Bambi gotten here when she’d been in the barn by the cabin? Unless there was no barn by the cabin. Unless there was only one barn. One barn that wasn’t far from the house at all. Which meant that it hadn’t been far from the cabin. Which meant that Rand had lied to her.


  “Why that no-good—”

  Clint spun her around and whipped off his cowboy hat. “There. Now take a good look at this face and tell me again that you don’t find me attractive.”

  Before she could answer, the door of the barn flew open, and Rand came charging in. “Get your hands off her!” he yelled. Except he didn’t wait for Clint to comply before he tackled him to the pile of hay in one corner. It was more a wrestling match than a fistfight, but, grown up without brothers, it was enough to freak Alana out.

  “Stop it! Stop it right now!” she shrieked.

  But they didn’t stop it. They kept right on rolling around, flinging hay everywhere, until a full-figured woman in an apron that said, “What’s Cookin’, Good-Lookin’?” came hustling in the door and hollered in a voice that shook hay from the rafters.

  “That’s enough, boys!”

  They stopped, each rolling to his feet and reaching for his hat. As upset as Alana was by the violence, it was hard to ignore the picture they presented of two ruggedly hot cowboys. Although Clint sounded more than a little whiny when he spoke.

  “He started it, Mama. I was just talking with Alana when he charged in like a mad bull.”

  “Talking?” Rand said. “You’ve never just talked with a woman in your life.” And he looked over at Alana. “And I guess it’s obvious that to you one cowboy is as good as another.” He slapped the hat against his thigh and jerked it on before he headed for the door.

  Alana might’ve gone after him and vented her own anger—not just about his insulting behavior, but also about him holding her hostage at the cabin—if his mother hadn’t blocked her way.

  “Don’t worry about Clint, Alana.” She gave her a warm smile. “He’ll get over it soon enough.”

  “Clint?” Alana said. “You mean Rand.”

  Mrs. McCormick laughed. “I did have a brood, but I think I know one son from the other. Clint has always been the sensitive, hotheaded one. While Rand here has always been the peacemaking lover.”