Manifest Destiny: Part One: Lost In Limbo

by Kay, Sabra M.

  Kent spoke up next. “Those girls will leave you alone once you aren’t a threat to them. They attack you because you stand out. You don’t belong to a group. You don’t have a man.”

  “I don’t want a man. I don’t want a group.”

  Now it was Nat’s turn to reason with her. It was okay for her to be alone, she was old. She couldn’t have children, couldn’t do her part to keep the human population from fading out of existence. She had wisdom, people either respected and liked her, or ignored her.

  When the invasion began, the elderly were some of the first to go. Heart attacks, suicides and then illness as medical care became scarce and hunger became a problem. Nat was only in her early sixties, but in this new world, that was old.

  “So what is your solution? Things can and will get worse. What are you going to do, Selah?” Kent asked.

  “I’m going to go see Nieve.”

  Kent slammed his fist on the table, but didn’t explode. “That is not going to help, Selah. She can’t protect you either. Not anymore.” There was still an angry edge in his voice. But his words were not cruel.

  “You think I am not angry with her for leaving us? I am. But I know why she did it, and I don’t blame her.”

  Kent snapped. He stood so abruptly that the chair flew backward. “She abandoned us, for what? Running water? Electricity? Which, by the way is probably bullshit. God knows what is really going on behind those walls.”

  “She had no choice.” Selah was desperate to change his view of her sister’s actions. She promised Nieve she would tell no one, not even Kent, about the baby. She couldn’t keep the secret, though, and told Nat. Nat agreed that telling anyone else would just fuel the hate-fire that was felt by people like Garrett, who was most likely the father. And that Selah would be the one to pay for it.

  “I need to see her. I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “Do what you need to do. But when you get back, you need to get back to reality. Make some hard choices, or suffer some more shitty consequences. I wanna leave here feeling like you’re gonna be okay. Right now I don’t think you are.” He stopped for a moment.

  Selah wiped the tears of frustration and hurt from her eyes. Every fucking time, she thought. Why am I such a baby?

  Nat looked at her with a mix of sympathy and fatigue.

  I am a burden.

  Kent took a deep breath. “You could go, too," he said softly, “to the Skirts. You could have a job and be with Nieve. I dunno.” He threw up his hands and raised his eyebrows.

  “What? No way in hell. You know what Dad said about that place. It’s not much more than a slave camp. He would be rolling in his grave right now if he knew Nieve was there!”

  “I know. But you just aren’t cut out for this place. It’s rough and you aren’t a fighter or a follower. What are you going to do, Selah?”

  Tears rolled down her face; she couldn’t stop them. She covered her face and sobbed.

  “Besides, we don’t even know if what Dad said about the Skirts is true. Yeah, they got rules, but at least you’d be taken care of…” He shook his head.

  Selah sniffled and looked at Kent. It wasn’t often that he said anything to contradict the things that their father believed about Worldcorp, the Skirts or his theories about the Black Soldiers. The people outside of the community collectively held the belief that Worldcorp were a bunch communists, or that the Liberals of the old world had taken over the major cities and forced their beliefs on the desperate fools who came to them for help. Father had believed they were something far worse.

  Kent left the room. She could hear him gathering some things in the small alcove that served as his room.

  She wondered when he had become so old. Sitting at the table, she knew he and Nat were right. The world was different, and would never be the same again. Everything was uncertain in this short life, so why go it alone? Why was she so resistant to doing what she needed to do to survive?

  She realized how much she had been relying on Kent and Nat to keep her shielded, to provide family, security and normalcy, but it wasn’t fair. Too many times Nat had acted as a buffer between her and the hateful townspeople who targeted Selah. She always wondered why. Why me?

  She stood out. She thought she was better than girls like Ruthie, and certainly too good for the likes of Garrett. But was she? She was weak, overly emotional, wishy-washy. She had nothing going for her except that her father had been a hero in the resistance and her brother was following in his footsteps.

  “You almost told Kent about the baby,” Nat said.

  Selah shrugged.

  “Why didn’t you? He should know that he has a nephew or niece.”

  “I don’t know. She told me not to tell anyone.”

  “You told me.”

  “I don’t know, Nat. I just need to get a bag together and be ready to jump on that bus.”

  Selah spent the rest of the afternoon staring out the window, something she spent most of her days doing. From her window, she could see crumbling buildings, overgrown lots and, in the sky, the ever-present Vorak ship. She hated it with a passion, just as she hated them.

  She watched a family trudging down the street. The father strode ahead, dusty denim jacket over his shoulder. His wife trailed behind, head down. She glanced back every now and then to make sure the children were behind her. Barefoot, dirty and skinny, the boy and girl marched behind their parents. Selah watched the boy stoop down and pick up a stick. He waved it around like a sword, and waged an attack on a lopsided mailbox. The sun would be going down soon, and she doubted the bus would come by today. Selah dozed off as she watched the sparse foot traffic go by.

  A firm but gentle hand shook her awake.

  “Selah! It’s here.”

  The bus arrived while she napped. Nat held out a container of water and a bag full of dried fruit.

  “Here, snack on these. I put some jerky and more food in your bag.”

  Still dazed, Selah got up and hefted the bag over her shoulder. A bolt of pain shot down her side and for a moment she felt faint. She shook it off and made her way out the door.

  “Hey, let me walk you over,” Nat said with a smile.

  Selah leaned against her briefly, their argument forgotten, like always.

  The crowd had already dissipated, with just a few more townspeople gathering their share of rations. People were making their way from the center of town back to their homes, and some were heading to the bar. The bar had a generator, and was one of only two places in Limbo with power. Lights, cold homebrew and music spilled out of the doors every night of the week. The place was always packed, and once a month you could count on travelers from the outside, non-sanctioned communities coming to barter for rations. Booze, weed, trinkets, tools and clothing were up for grabs.

  Although the authorized settlements were thriving in their own way, post-invasion America was home to oddball communities of all kinds, and plenty of people had taken to a more nomadic lifestyle. They moved from place to place, scavenging abandoned towns and cities, making a living plundering and selling tokens of a happier time.

  “After I see you off safely, I’m gonna go see if good old Frank is out and about,” Nat grinned.

  Frank was Nat’s age, and lived about ten miles or so outside town with a group of men and women who didn’t much care for life in Limbo. Nat said they were “laid back”, which Selah took to mean permanently impaired. They always brought a good supply of weed, homemade wine and interesting odds and ends from all over the place.

  Frank was sweet on Nat, and had tried numerous times to talk her into coming back with him. Selah wondered if she didn’t because she felt responsible for her.

  Selah looked around. The music was already blasting from the building. Makeshift tables and chairs surrounded the old place, providing a restful spot for the overflow. Selah hoped that Garrett and his crew would be inside. She knew that once she boarded the bus she would be safe—at least she was fairly certain of it.
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  “Take care of yourself Selah, and let Nieve know we miss her.”

  “We?”

  “You know Kent misses his sister too.”

  “I guess.”

  “You’ll be careful?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “Okay. Just go get on. Don’t stop and look around.”

  Selah nodded and made her way around to the other side of the bus. This put her in full view of the bar. Trades were already being made, drinks were flowing, and the familiar odor of everyone’s favorite herbal remedy was thick in the still, summer evening air.

  Garrett was loud. She could hear his laughter and jeering at someone, the noise coming through the open door. She caught sight of Tommy sitting atop a wooden picnic table out front. Their eyes met and for a moment she froze, waiting for him to shout at her. He didn’t though. He shook his head slightly, and looked away.

  She boarded the bus, found a seat toward the back and hunkered down in the threadbare upholstery. Aside from the driver and a couple of armed guards, she was the only other passenger. This would change as they got further on the route, but for now she was alone. The men up front didn’t acknowledge her. She was grateful when the engine started and they pulled away.

  Chapter Four

  The last sliver of golden sunlight disappeared into the horizon. From the highway, the desert stretched out endlessly.

  The caravan would stop at a few other settlements to dispense rations, and then head back to the Skirts. She wondered how early visitation would happen, and if Nieve would even be there. She had no way of knowing.

  Her eyes became heavy. It would be over an hour before the next stop, and there was no telling who would be coming on board to join her journey.

  Selah dreamed of the day everything changed, like she often did. Happy memories of a sleepover with her cousins, sitting at the coffee table with Aunt Lynn and cousin Maddie playing a board game. Three-year-old cousin Donnie was already asleep on the couch. There were giggles and snacks and warm pajamas.

  The phone rang and Uncle Scott picked it up in the kitchen. Selah remembered hearing his laugh, the kind of laugh that adults made when they didn’t believe something but it made them nervous anyway. Then he went quiet. Auntie Lynn looked at him for a long minute while he listened on the phone. Then he hung up.

  They were all looking at him because he had a funny look on his face. He told Auntie to come in the bedroom with him so they could watch something on the tv. “Keep playing, I will be right back,” she said.

  They were in their room for a while. The house was small, and Selah and Maddie played their game without talking so that they could hear what was going on. The news was on, Selah could tell by the voices. She heard Auntie Lynn make a surprised scary sound, and then there was a lot of low talking between her and Uncle Scott.

  After a while, they came back out. Uncle Scott tried making more phone calls, but he got mad and threw his phone down because the lines were clogged up or something. Selah didn’t know how much time went by, but she and Maddie were still at the table pretending to play cards.

  Something was wrong, and Selah felt afraid to move or ask questions.

  Suddenly her Mommy and Daddy were there with Nieve and Kent. They weren’t supposed to be there; something was definitely wrong. When all the grown-ups went into the bedroom together, there was a lot of loud talking, low, muffled talking and loud whispering. There was arguing. Then they came out.

  The grownups tried to be normal, but it didn’t work. Auntie Lynn put on a movie because she couldn’t do cards or games now, she was too nervous. Mommy put on some tea and Daddy and Uncle Scott went to the garage. When the kettle started whistling, everything changed. Blue light began leaking into all the doors and windows, and Selah could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The light and the beat of her heart made everything feel like it was going to explode.

  The doors blew open and scary men dressed all in black with guns came in, and reached for her and her cousins. Selah looked for her Mommy, Daddy and Aunt and Uncle, but they weren’t there. Nieve came and stood in front of her, putting herself between Selah and the dark men. Blue light filled the room and something big and scary came through the front door.

  Selah startled, opening her eyes. For a brief moment, she forgot where she was. Her mouth opened to cry out, but then she realized that she was safe, so to speak, on the bus to see her sister. The dream always began the same, her normal life ending with a phone call. The ending varied, though. Sometimes soldiers burst through the doors and dragged her parents out of the house kicking and screaming. Sometimes foul-looking creatures slithered in the house and Selah had to find a place to hide. Sometimes she watched helplessly from the front yard as her family burned alive in their home.

  Of course, none of these things happened that day. Life was never truly normal after that winter evening in 2017, but there were no flashing blue lights, explosions or slithering aliens invading their homes. In fact, Selah had never even seen a Vorak in person.

  The bus slowed and came to a stop behind the rest of the caravan. They had arrived at the northernmost settlement. The driver and two of the men stepped out into the parking lot of an abandoned Wal-Mart and began hauling supplies from the luggage bays underneath.

  A crowd had formed. Each would get a small box with some miscellaneous canned and packaged foods, seeds, powdered nutrient mix and wafers. These rations would supposedly sustain an adult for a month, but it was rare for anyone’s to last that long.

  The crowd was restless, hurling insults at the men both inside and outside of the bus, even as they were accepting their packages. Rations from Worldcorp were becoming smaller, and the medical van that used to accompany the caravan hadn’t been seen in months.

  Selah stared for a moment at the young man just a few rows ahead of her. He was poised on the seat with his gun pointed out the window, ready to fire. She tried to make herself as small in her seat as she could. I wish I could be invisible.

  *

  As the miles wore on, Selah’s eyes grew heavy and eventually she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, lulled by the sway of the bus. When daylight broke, the bus was on the stretch of highway that led to old Los Angeles, and the Worldcorp community. The bus would stop just inside the first gate at the visitor center. The city loomed ahead.

  The bus slowed to a stop in a large parking lot while the rest of the caravan moved on toward one of the main gates. Once the bus stopped, the guards motioned for Selah and the woman to exit the bus. Selah took the steps down carefully, as she still felt unsteady and sore from her beating. A guard offered his hand to her and she took it, grateful for the help. Another guard motioned for the women to follow him.

  They stepped into the visitor center, which had been some kind of conference hall at one time. The guard led them through the large, open meeting space and into a smaller room filled with cubicles. During the walk from the parking lot to this part of the building, the group had grown from Selah and the woman from her bus to about a dozen or so others. Each of them was directed to find a cubicle and have a seat. It was time for visitation to begin.

  Selah sat down in a black cushioned chair. The cubicle was small, just enough room to stand, turn around and sit down. There was a small desk table and on it a large monitor. She touched the screen and followed the instructions to type in the last name of the person she wanted to visit. After this, the screen went black for a moment. Selah wondered if Nieve would even be there, she had no way to communicate with her other than this. It was forbidden for anyone to leave the community, alive anyway. The only way in was to be let in. It was a one-way trip.

  Selah didn’t know what to think. She sat, waiting and hoping that Nieve would appear, would tell her that she was okay and that everything was going to be okay, just like she always had. Kent wouldn’t tell her that. He told her he didn’t think she would be okay.

  Screw him. Ugh, who am I kidding, I’m not okay. I’m not.

  The sc
reen suddenly went live, and Nieve appeared, cradling a beautiful, perfect little baby. Selah gasped. Nieve looked good. Her face was full and rosy, her baby plump and dressed in clean, cute clothes. They sat in a cubicle similar to Selah’s. Nieve’s long blonde hair was pulled back. She looked tired, but healthy.

  “Hey, sis,” she said with a smile. “Or should I say, Auntie.”

  Selah felt her eyes well up. As usual, she couldn’t keep her emotions in check, but this time it was okay. She didn’t need to put up a front for Nieve. The tears began to flow freely and Selah didn’t bother to wipe them away this time.

  “Oh Selah. I miss you.” Nieve teared up too, but hurriedly brushed them away.

  “I miss you, too.” She sniffled a bit, and did her best to gather herself. “Do I have a niece or a nephew?”

  Nieve smiled and held the newborn closer to the screen.

  “Selah, meet Daniel. Daniel, meet your Auntie Selah.”

  This brought on a fresh barrage of tears from Selah. “You named him after Dad.”

  “Actually, after both of them. Daniel Kent Porter.”

  Selah started at the tiny bundle in wonder. She had known logically that her big sister was going to have a baby, but she simply couldn’t imagine it. Now, here he was. A part of Nieve, and of her. Of their father and brother. A part of Garrett, too.

  She pushed that thought aside. She wanted badly to hold him, to hug her sister. But they couldn’t even be in the same room together. Ever. A wave of anger swept over her. Nieve had condemned them to this. A life of limited contact, where she would never be able to hold her little nephew, or play with him, or sit up late at night giggling with her big sister like they used to. How could she do this?

  “Selah, how are you?”

  “How am I? How do you think? Life is hell, nothing has changed.” Nieve looked stricken at that, but Selah had held these thoughts in for months. “Since you left, things have gotten worse. Kent has gotten worse. He hardly talks anymore, and other situations have gotten worse as well.”