Manifest Destiny: Part One: Lost In Limbo

by Kay, Sabra M.

  “Yeah, let’s go.” Sid nodded.

  Kent looked at Selah briefly. “I’m in,” he said.

  “Me too,” Selah spoke up, looking first to Dillon, then to Kent.

  “I don’t know, Sel.” Kent frowned and took a long drag off his hand-rolled cigarette. “We talked about this before, you said you didn’t think it was for you. What changed?”

  “I saw Nieve. She isn’t okay, Kent. It’s not okay there. I mean, they looked healthy…”

  “They?”

  She took a deep breath. It was time to get honest, Kent needed to know the truth about why Nieve left. Why she hadn’t told him from the get go was beyond her.

  “Her and the baby, Kent. Nieve had a little boy. Daniel Kent Porter.” The words tumbled out of her mouth. She wanted them out before he had a chance to lay into her, she wanted him to hear the baby’s name.

  She thought he would blow up at her for keeping the secret, but he was still for a moment, and then spoke quietly.

  “What makes you think she’s not okay? I mean, did she say anything?”

  Selah shook her head. “No, it’s what she didn’t say. It was her tone, the way she looked at me, the way she looked… nervous, I guess.”

  “And, just to make sure I wasn’t getting it wrong, I told her I was thinking about staying there too, with her. She discouraged me. If it was really better there, she would have been begging me to come back with her. No, something isn’t right there. She hated this place, hated everything about it. Even though she never complained, I knew it. She was willing to run away—from us—to get away, and she would rather me stay here than be there. No, that place is...wrong, just like Dad said.”

  “Okay, so I get that, but what does that have to do with joining the resistance? Is it just to get away from here too? Because if that’s it—”

  “No. Between what I saw there in the Skirts—in Nieve’s eyes, and the attack I saw on Dillon’s town. The destruction, people…” She shook her head, not wanting to bring up the horrible details of that night. “We need to take our world back.” She spoke with as much authority and strength as she could muster. They needed to take her seriously, to see that with a little training, she could be an asset to the resistance, just like her father had been, just like Kent would be.

  Kent and Dillon both opened their mouths to speak but it was Nat who beat them to it.

  “I think it’s a good idea. I have been saying for years that Worldcorp is damn near as bad as the Voraks. They sit behind their walls and control us. Who knows what they are really up to?”

  Frankly," she said with her voice lowered, “I wonder just how long they will leave us be here. How long before they come and take what little freedom and peace we have. It’s either them coming with guns or the Voraks coming in with their bombs and lasers and shit.”

  “I say she should go.” She took a hit off her pipe and motioned for someone to take it next. Dillon shook his head but Sid grabbed for it enthusiastically. If the Worldcorp guards came in right now, they could be shot on site for violating drug laws.

  Selah believed that Nat was right. It was just a matter of time before Worldcorp came in and took them away, or maybe even just killed them. She wondered if they were just biding their time and waiting for the Voraks to come bomb their town too. Maybe that was why they hadn’t been bringing medical care.

  “The boys”, as Nat had quickly come to call them, made up beds in the living room. Feeling slightly drunk and fully worn out, Selah headed gratefully to her bed. She had bathed earlier, and it felt good to be in clean clothes. Her body was tired and sore to the bone, but aside from her swollen knee and still-sore ribs, she felt okay. The past week had strengthened her somehow, not just physically, but mentally. She didn’t feel afraid and nauseous. She wasn’t dreading the next day, no matter what it brought. She could handle anything.

  She woke to the sounds of birds singing outside her bedroom window. She smiled and stretched and headed to the kitchen. The boys were still passed out on the floor, except Dillon. Nat had made him some tea and he was chewing on some leftovers from the night before.

  “Mornin’, Selah, sleep well?” Nat hugged her, as she had at least twenty times since she got back.

  “Yes, I slept so good. My bed felt amazingly comfortable, even with the springs poking me. Morning, Dillon.”

  Dillon nodded his head in greeting, mouth full.

  “What’s the plan for the day?”

  “You know Garrett and his boys will be by here soon enough, they aren’t just going to let you guys alone,” Nat said.

  “I’m surprised he didn’t show up last night, to tell the truth. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.”

  Kent waltzed into the room with a smile on his face. Selah couldn’t help but smile herself, and felt her eyes tear up just a bit as she did. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him smiling like that. It warmed her heart.

  “So, are you just so relieved to have me back, is that what it is?” She punched him playfully in the arm, and he shoved her back, grinning. It felt like old times.

  Nat laughed. “I am sure your brother is quite relieved to have you back safe and sound, but…ah, that’s not the only reason he is smiling.” She grinned at him and cocked an eyebrow.

  “What is it then, Kent?”

  Kent turned bright red. Dillon joined in the fun.

  “Aw, must be a girl. Only reason for a smile that wide.”

  “You guys just shut it. Lemme alone,” he laughed.

  “Seriously Kent, you have a girlfriend?” Selah asked.

  “I guess. I can’t really get serious though, I am just gonna be leaving anyway. Nice to know someone will miss me, though.”

  “Who is it?” Selah hoped it wasn’t any of Ruthie’s little friends.

  Kent sighed. "I don’t think you know her. She keeps to herself.”

  “A girl after my own heart then. What’s her name, dammit!”

  “April.”

  “I don’t know if I know her, do you Nat?”

  “Of course. She helps out at the school occasionally. Lives in one of the apartments behind the old Walmart. She’s a nice girl. You should have her over. The more the merrier.”

  “There’s a lot of people in town that I don’t know,” Selah mused. She realized how much she had been hiding, and possibly how much she might have been missing out on because of her fear and unwillingness to let anyone in.

  Nat seemed pleased that the boys were there, and gave Selah a good ribbing about Dillon.

  “He’s a good looking boy, Selah. Not surprised you brought that one home. And Gabe, he’s not too hard on the eyes either. If I was younger…”

  Oh my God, Nat. Stop. Just stop,” Selah giggled. “There isn’t anything between me and Dillon.” She thought about it for a minute and then continued. “I guess there could have been, started to be, but then when the town was attacked and he lost his Mom and so many friends…It just isn’t a good time for either of us to worry about romance, you know?”

  “There’s never a good time, Selah. But it finds its way.”

  Selah thought about the conversation with Nat off and on all day. She thought about Dillon, with his easy smile and genuine concern for others. He had been mostly quiet and standoffish since the attack on his town, and who could blame him? She felt like she should be a better friend to him, but she was so focused on making it back home in one piece…

  “Hey,” Dillon and Gabe interrupted her thoughts. “I hear we’re supposed to go meet that Garrett now.”

  Selah nodded. She wasn’t happy about the situation, but the fact that he hadn’t come pounding on her door led her to believe that things were going to be okay, that maybe he had better things to do than worry about her and her guests.

  “We’re supposed to meet him at the bar?” Gabe scratched his head, looking at her with his eyebrows raised. “You guys have a bar here?”

  Selah laughed. “Yeah, the busiest place in town. You headi
ng over there now? I’ll go with you.”

  She couldn’t believe her own ears as the words came out of her mouth. She had never set foot in the bar once. Hell, she could barely manage the general and the well, or the community wash for that matter. The bar was way beyond her, until now.

  She thought of walking up to the bar and ordering a pint of homebrew, sitting with her friends. She wasn’t sure if it was because of them that she felt confident enough to go to the bar, or if it was because she had been through and seen so much in the last couple weeks, and people like Garrett, Ruthie, David and Sal didn’t intimidate her as much as they used to. She did know that she didn’t feel like hiding anymore. No more staring out her bedroom window.

  “Sid’s out with Kent roaming the desert. They took his bow, maybe they’ll catch some dinner,” Nat told them when they asked.

  Nat joined them and they made the short walk together. Selah greeted Denise as she passed by, and waved to some of the schoolchildren as they played. She wished she had been more involved in her community, instead of just focusing on its flaws and hiding her head in the sand.

  The inside of Jay’s Place was cool and dim and had a sour but not entirely unpleasant smell. John and Amy spent the afternoons tending bar and staying up to date on all Limbo happenings. If you wanted to know anything, they were the ones to ask. The bar had belonged to John’s father before the Voraks, and the couple were original residents, not transplants like Selah and Nat.

  Garrett sat up at the bar, along with Tommy, David, Sal, Ruthie and her girls. Garrett cocked an eyebrow when he saw Selah stroll up and take a seat, followed by Nat. Ruthie snorted dismissively and chugged her beer, wiped her face and shouldered past Selah, nearly knocking her from her stool. Dillon remained standing, as did Gabe and Sid.

  “Buy you a beer?” Garrett smiled wide and extended his hand.

  Sid and Gabe stood, arms crossed and eying Garrett and his crew suspiciously. They looked ready for a fight, even eager for one. Dillon took Garrett’s hand and nodded in affirmation.

  “Sounds good, thanks.”

  Garrett nodded and turned to Amy. “Get my new friends some drinks, yeah?”

  Selah wrinkled her nose at Nat. The idea of Dillon being friends with Garrett was more than just a little distasteful, it was downright repulsive. Still, she didn’t want there to be any trouble in the short time they had left in Limbo. Best just to get along.

  “How ‘bout you, Sel? You and your mom want a drink?”

  Nat spoke up first. “We’d love one, thank you Garrett.” Nat was always the diplomatic type. Selah was grateful for her; she just didn’t seem to have the gift of gab when it came to people she didn’t like, and for a long time now, she didn’t like most people.

  “Yeah?” Garrett continued looking at Selah with raised eyebrows. He was waiting for her response, and wouldn’t be satisfied until he got it.

  “Yes. Please.” She exhaled and did her best to give him a friendly smile.

  Dillon looked on the exchange with interest, sensing the tension between Selah and Garrett. He shrugged and took a long swig of his beer. Amy handed Selah hers and gave her a wink and a smile. Nat turned to her and raised her glass.

  “A toast, my dear?”

  Selah raised her glass in return. She felt a deep appreciation for her friend in that moment. A woman who had helped anchor her at a time in her life when she felt lost at sea. Parents gone, siblings drifting further away, and the life that she knew disappearing beneath the ocean of time and fading memories. She had saved her from drowning in her own misery and fear.

  “To smooth sailing.”

  Nat raised her eyebrows and stifled a giggle. “To smooth sailing.”

  They clinked glasses and Selah tasted beer for the first time. She nearly spit it out, but forced herself to swallow the bitter, yeasty beverage. She wrinkled her nose and pounded her chest, willing it to go down. Gabe and Dillon had a hearty laugh about it, joined by Garrett and Nat. The laughter must have attracted Ruthie and Jenna, because they surfaced suddenly at the bar.

  “Having a good time, are we?” Ruthie sidled up next to them, smirking with her arms crossed and her legs splayed, hip cocked to one side. Jenna and Sam, always at her side followed suit, flanking her.

  Selah felt her heart sink into her stomach. The glint in Ruthie’s eyes told her that she was looking for a fight. It was the same look she wore the day she was pummeled into the ground by the three of them. What do I do now? Nat wore a neutral expression and continued to drink her beer. The guys were deep in conversation, going on about the resistance, the goddamn Voraks and the reduced corporate rations. They were not interested in “girl drama”, as Garrett referred to it.

  Taking a sip of beer to buy time, she felt the sinking feeling turn to a fire in her belly. Maybe it was the beer, but this time she wasn’t going to let this bitch push her around. Any of them.

  “Yeah, I am having a great time, how about you?” She kept her gaze level, not looking away.

  Ruthie stepped closer. She easily outweighed Selah and her toned, tanned arms packed a hefty punch, as Selah well knew. Sam was slight, but Jenna towered over all of them, including Garrett.

  Whatever, she thought. I’m not going down easy this time.

  Ruthie glared at her and huffed. She sent a sidelong glance to Dillon and smirked. “That your man?”

  “No. I don’t need a man.”

  Nat rolled her eyes at Selah and finished her beer. She slid off the stool and started walking away from the girls. Whoa, she’s leaving me?

  “I’m going to smoke, you boys want to join me?” Nat motioned to Dillon, Gabe and Garrett.

  “Yeah, be right there.” Garrett looked over at his wife and Selah, observing their standoff. “You girls be good now.” He gave a laugh and walked out, followed by the boys.

  Ruthie’s fake smile faded once the guys were outside. She spun on Selah, spitting venom and squinting as she spoke. “I don’t need a man, Selah. But you obviously do. Maybe if you got laid you might be a little more bearable. Right now, I can’t stand the sight of you, and your face… Well, it just makes me angry.” She laughed at the last statement, then looked to either side for approval from the girls.

  They giggled and then glared at Selah as well. Selah was confused. She had a nagging feeling that if she played things right, the whole situation could be smoothed over without coming to blows, but at the same time, she felt that if she just took a stand -- an aggressive one -- she might be able to put this rivalry behind her for good.

  “Kick her ass again, Ruthie. She’s asking for it.” Jenna, always ready for a fight, nudged her friend.

  “Screw all of you. You have nothing going on except your lying, cheating, stinking excuses for husbands, so you want to mess with me? Alright then…get on with it.” Selahslid off the stool, putting her just inches away from Ruthie. She squared her shoulders and clenched her fists.

  Ruthie’s eyes widened for a moment before she burst into laughter. “Holy shit, really? You just decided to grow some balls?”

  Selah paused at that. If they did any more back and forth, she was going to lose her nerve. She wasn’t sure she could throw the first punch, or if she even should. She had never started a fight in her life.

  “Let’s go, then.” Ruthie backed up a couple feet, to give Selah some room.

  Her eyes gleamed in the low light. Selah could see that she thrived on this kind of conflict. She was sure of herself, and appeared delighted that Selah was willing to play along this time.

  Selah took a deep breath, and without thinking too much more about it, she swung. It felt awkward and weak, but she connected with Ruthie’s jaw, more grazing it than anything. There, I hit her, she thought.

  The blow startled Ruthie more than it hurt her. She opened her eyes wide and then narrowed them again. She struck out with her fist, making solid contact with Selah’s right eye, and then another quick jab to the side of the nose. She hit hard.

  Now was not the
time to stumble back, or be deterred from the pain she was feeling. She pivoted to the right and swung again. Ruthie easily dodged and answered back with another jab, this time aimed at her mouth. Selah instantly tasted blood. That snapped her, and a low growl emerged from deep within, catching Ruthie’s attention and prompting her to step back slightly. Jenna and Sam moved in toward Selah, but Ruthie stopped them.

  “No! You stay out of this one. Fair fight, right?” She cocked her head and raised her eyebrows at Selah.

  “Yeah. This time,” Selah retorted.

  She knew she didn’t have the weight or the reach to do much damage with her punches. The most she could hope for was to surprise her, maybe throw her off balance. She lunged toward Ruthie with a roar of pent up rage that shocked even her. As she had hoped, this move did catch her by surprise. Sam and Jenna scattered off to the side and Ruthie and Selah tumbled backward, sending barstools clattering to the floor.

  The next minutes were a blur, a flurry of hit and miss punches, pulled hair and kicking legs. Through it, Selah managed to stay on top, and Jenna and Sam screeched in horror as their leader took a solid ass-kicking. It ended with Dillon and Gabe wrestling Selah off Ruthie, and Garrett helping his wife up while holding her back, chuckling the entire time.

  “Well, nothing like a good, old-fashioned girlie bar-brawl. Hehe, sorry I missed it. I guess you can’t leave ‘em alone for a second, right, Dillon?”

  Dillon gave a polite laugh and held Selah’s face in his hands for a moment to examine her.

  She wasn’t having it though, and pushed him away. “I’m fine. But thanks.”

  “Yeah, don’t mention it. You might want to clean up, though.”

  Nat followed the guys in and stood on the perimeter of the small crowd that had formed in the bar while the girls were fighting. Selah found her and their eyes met for a brief moment. She gave a slight nod and smile of approval, appearing pleased that Selah had stepped up and handled the situation without help.

  Truth be told, Selah was relieved that the fight had been broken up by Dillon. She knew full well that it would have been only a matter of time before Ruthie got the upper hand, or her girls decided to jump in and join her.