Cowboy Take Me Away

by Jane Graves

  Shannon couldn’t believe it. They were going back and forth about Luke as if he were some kind of teen idol they didn’t have the nerve to speak to. As two of the boys continued to argue, the tall blond kid made a scoffing noise. Still smoking his cigarette, he pushed away from the wall and sauntered toward Luke. The other boys looked at each other questioningly, then followed in his wake.

  Curious, Shannon followed several paces behind the boys and stopped before they reached Luke, standing behind a truck parked nearby. Luke and Todd were standing next to a corral fence where two horses were tied up. Todd was patting one of the horses on the nose.

  The blond boy walked right up behind Luke and stopped, his feet spread as if he was holding his ground. “You’re Luke Dawson.”

  Luke turned around, looking the kid up and down. “That’s right.”

  “Heard you got sidelined. Knee injury. Freak accident.”

  “Yep.”

  “They say you’ve still got a chance to win it all, assuming you make it to the World Championship.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  The kid flicked his cigarette. “I saw you ride once in Amarillo.”

  “Yeah? Which time?”

  “Last January. You won. Rode a bull named Executioner. Scored a ninety-two.”

  “Yeah, I think I remember that ride. You got a good memory, kid.”

  The redheaded boy piped up. “Hey, Luke! What’s the toughest bull you ever rode?”

  “Don’t ask him that!” the short one said, slapping his friend on the arm.

  “Why not?”

  “’Cause he’s Luke Dawson, you idiot! None of them are tough for him to ride!”

  “Now, that’s where you’re wrong,” Luke said. “Rodeo’s a hard sport for any man. Sooner or later you’re going to get the crap beaten out of you. It’s just a matter of when. You just gotta decide if you want it bad enough to keep coming back for more.” Luke fanned his gaze over them. “Any of you boys got what it takes?”

  Two of the boys swallowed hard, their eyes growing big, looking as if they’d love to turn tail and run. The blond kid spit in the dirt and stood up tall, peering at Luke from beneath the brim of his hat.

  “I do.”

  Luke shifted his gaze to meet the kid’s eyes. “What’s your event?”

  “Bull riding.”

  “You want to go pro?”

  “Yep.”

  “How bad?”

  The kid paused. “Bad.”

  “How do your parents feel about it?”

  The kid tossed down his cigarette and ground it out with the toe of his boot. “My parents don’t give a shit about me.”

  “Watch your language,” Luke said, flicking his gaze toward Todd, who had picked a few stalks of Johnson grass and was feeding it to the horse.

  “They don’t care what I do,” the kid said.

  “Rodeo’s a hard life.”

  “Can’t be as hard as what I got now.”

  “It’ll kick your butt from here to next Thursday.”

  “I’m used to that already.”

  “Then I guess there’s nothing standing in your way, is there?” He turned to Todd. “Hey, Todd. I bet Shannon has those hot dogs by now.”

  “Any advice?” the blond kid said.

  Luke turned back, staring at the kid for a long time. “Yeah. I got plenty of advice. But I only give it to people who are ready to hear it.”

  The kid looked at him evenly. “I’m ready.”

  “Okay, then. First thing—don’t get anywhere near a chute unless you’re wearing a helmet. Only idiots go out there unprotected.”

  “Some guys say that’s for pussies.”

  “Then call me a pussy, because I wouldn’t get on a bull without one. Second,” he said, “losing isn’t the worst thing in the world. The worst thing in the world is whining about it. Learn from it, then get back on the next bull. Pretty soon you’ll be winning more than you’re losing, and that’ll take you to the top. You hear me?”

  “I hear you.”

  “Third—behave yourself in public, and be thankful when people help you. Nobody likes a jerk. You may think you don’t care about that right now, but believe me, the day will come when you will.”

  The kid nodded.

  “That being said, be careful who you trust. From this day forward, you better assume the only person who has your best interests at heart is you. Got that?”

  “Got it.”

  “Oh, yeah. One last thing. Get rid of the cigarettes. No serious athlete smokes. Bull riders are no different.”

  The kid stared at Luke a long time before giving him another silent nod.

  “I’ll be up there watching you ride,” Luke said, nodding toward the stands. “Show me what you’ve got.”

  With one last nod of acknowledgment, the blond kid turned and walked away, his posse hurrying after him. A few moments later, he passed a trash can. He pulled out his cigarettes, tossed them away, and kept on walking.

  Shannon felt the most amazing sensation of her preconceived notions being blown away. From one moment to the next, it was as if the last remnants of the boy she’d known had disintegrated in her memory, and the only thing left of him was the man Luke had become—a man she was drawn to more with every breath she took.

  She walked up behind him. “He trashed the cigarettes. Maybe that means he was paying attention.”

  Luke spun around, looking surprised. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough. I didn’t know you were a rock star.”

  “They’re just kids. Easy to impress.” He nodded down at the hot dogs. “Let’s eat.”

  They went back up the bleachers, where they watched calf roping and ate their hot dogs. After they finished, a man sat down in front of Todd wearing a gigantic cowboy hat. Luke scooped Todd up and sat him on his lap so he could see better. Then he reached over and patted the bleacher beside him, telling Shannon to come closer. She scooted over next to him, close enough that every time he turned around to talk to her, his lips were only inches from hers. Her skin felt touchy, alive, as if she suddenly had a hundred times the nerve endings she’d had only two hours ago. So every time his thigh or his shoulder brushed against hers, warm little shivers raced through her. Sitting so close to him, she smelled the clean aroma of soap, but also a warm, wonderful guy smell she wished she could inhale every moment of every day. If somebody could bottle that, women the world over would knock each other down to buy it.

  Soon she became more aware of how much attention Luke had garnered just by stepping onto the rodeo grounds, and not just from women. As the evening wore on, a few other people dropped by to speak to him. Most of the conversation was centered around his injury and whether he’d be back on a bull come November. He assured every person he talked to that he would. He was kind, considerate, and had a smile for everyone. She had the feeling a lot more people had recognized him, too. They just didn’t have the nerve to talk to him.

  “Bull riding’s coming up,” Luke said to Todd. “The rider needs to stay on eight seconds. The judges score his ride, but the bull gets a score, too. Then both scores are added together. So the tougher the bull, the higher the score.”

  Todd nodded seriously and focused on the action. The first kid climbed the fence and settled onto the bull’s back. The animal reared, then slammed his front legs down again.

  “My God,” Shannon said. “That kid’s going to get killed before the bull even comes out.”

  “Nah,” Luke said. “The chute’s pretty safe. There’s only so much a bull can do in there.”

  In the next moment, though, the chute gate swung open, and the bull came barreling out. Three seconds later, he tossed his young rider into the dust.

  “And exactly how safe was that?” Shannon asked.

  Luke chuckled. “These bulls aren’t too bad.”

  “Well, if these aren’t too bad, what are they like in the big leagues?”

  “A whole lot bigger and a w
hole lot meaner.”

  “My God,” she said on a hushed breath. “They could kill a man.”

  “There’s a reason they call bull riding the most dangerous eight seconds in sports.”

  Shannon believed that. Every word.

  “Look!” Todd said, pointing. “Clowns!”

  “They’re also called bullfighters,” Luke said. “Once the ride is over, they distract the bull so he doesn’t go after the cowboy. Good thing, because those horns are sharp.”

  Only one of the next four kids managed to stay on the full eight seconds. Then came the blond kid Luke had talked to. He climbed over the fence and slid nonchalantly onto the bull. Shannon didn’t know if he’d worn a helmet before, but he was wearing one now.

  The gate opened. The bull came flying out, then began to buck in a circle, dropping one shoulder every time he hit the ground.

  “Tough bull,” Luke said, his gaze fixed intently on the arena. “Come on, kid…”

  The bull slammed the kid left and right until Shannon swore his arm was going to be torn from its socket. She held her breath, counting silently inside her head. Then the buzzer sounded. With the bull’s next buck, the kid let loose and landed on his feet on the arena floor.

  “He did it,” Shannon said. “He stayed on the full eight seconds!”

  “That bull threw him four seconds in,” Luke said. “He just refused to get off.”

  The kid left the arena as nonchalantly as he’d slid down onto the bull. But once the gate closed behind him, Shannon noticed he wasn’t looking at his friends. He wasn’t being congratulated by any family members. He was looking into the stands. A few seconds later, his gaze settled on Luke. Luke looked back at him, turning his fist into a thumbs-up. The kid nodded, then walked away.

  “That was nice,” Shannon said.

  “He can take it for what it’s worth.”

  “Are you kidding? Your approval meant everything to him.” A few loose strands of hair fanned her face, and she brushed them away with her fingertips. “You’re something special around here, aren’t you?”

  “Like I said before. It’s a high school rodeo. Kids are pretty easy to impress.”

  “It’s not just the kids. Everybody here knows who you are.”

  Luke just shrugged, but she could tell the attention wasn’t lost on him. In Rainbow Valley, he was the son of the most disreputable man the town had ever seen. But in this world, he was a man other people looked up to. No wonder he was so desperate to get back to his old life.

  “I told Myrna I’d have Todd home by ten,” Luke said to Shannon, then turned to Todd. “It’s getting late, buddy. We need to go.”

  They hadn’t been in the car five minutes before Todd fell asleep, his head on Shannon’s shoulder, his breathing measured and even. The evening had worn him out in a good way, and she had a feeling he was going to be talking about it for some time to come.

  “Have a good time?” Luke said, breaking the silence.

  “Yeah,” Shannon said. “It was fun. I didn’t know there was so much involved in rodeo. And bull riding. No offense, Luke. But you’re nuts.”

  He smiled. “Most days I wouldn’t disagree with you about that.”

  After tonight, that didn’t really surprise her. But what did surprise her was how incredibly good he was with kids. He seemed to thrive on that almost as much as he did bull riding.

  She looked at Todd. “You were so good with him. And with those boys at the rodeo.”

  “I like kids,” Luke said. “There’s no pretense with them.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They don’t have any ulterior motive. No hidden agenda. If they like you, they like you. If they don’t, they’ll tell you why, and it’s usually your fault. It doesn’t take much to make them happy. With the little ones, just let them wear your hat, or pet a horse, and they act like they’re at Disney World.” He glanced at Todd. “I’m going to have my own kids someday. Boys, girls—it doesn’t matter which.”

  “You want to be a father?”

  “Does that surprise you?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I guess it does.”

  “Because I didn’t exactly have the best example of a father to guide me?”

  “Some men would say they don’t want kids because they figure they’d be terrible fathers just like their fathers were,” Shannon said.

  “Does that make any sense at all? If a man has a terrible father, why on earth would he let himself become just like him?”

  “It happens.”

  “Not to me. No matter what the people in town think, I’m nothing like my father was. I want to have kids someday. And you can bet your life I’ll do it right.”

  Shannon believed him. Every word.

  Soon they pulled up in front of Myrna’s house. Shannon waited in the truck as Luke picked Todd up, still sleeping, and took him to the door. They disappeared inside the house, and a few minutes later Luke came back to the truck.

  “Did he ever wake up?” she asked.

  “Nope. He was dead tired. I put him right in bed and he never made a sound.”

  “You and Myrna seem to be getting along just fine these days.”

  Luke gave her an offhand shrug. “She’s been real good to Todd since his mother left.”

  Luke drove to Shannon’s apartment, where he pulled his truck into a parking space and killed the engine.

  “So what are your plans for after you win the World Championship?” she asked.

  “The money won’t last forever. I’m a bull rider. Come January, I’ll start all over again.”

  “So how long can a man ride bulls before the bulls get the best of him?”

  “I don’t know. Guess I’ll find out sooner or later, won’t I?”

  “You say you want to settle down. Have kids. How are you ever going to do that when you’re in a different city every week?”

  “A man’s got to make a living first. I don’t know how to do anything else.”

  She nodded. “When the day comes you can no longer compete, what will you do?”

  “I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that.”

  A silence stretched between them, and she was sure Luke knew what she was thinking.

  “Rainbow Valley,” she said finally. “Do you still hate it?”

  He looked at her, then looked away again. “This isn’t the place for me. Never will be.”

  “There are some good people here.”

  “I know that. And I appreciate every one of them. But as long as I stay here, I’ll always be Glenn Dawson’s son. When I’m anywhere else, I’m my own man. If you were me, what would you do?”

  After tonight, she understood exactly what he was saying. She saw what it was like for him at that rodeo. How people related to him. Why wouldn’t he want that life instead of this one?

  “When I was growing up, most people wouldn’t even look me in the eye,” Luke said. “Some of them in this town still won’t. How do you think that feels?”

  “I don’t know,” she said quietly.

  “Of course you don’t. Because you’ve always been somebody other people looked up to, not down.”

  He was right. She couldn’t imagine what it had been like for him. She just wished he would try to look at things differently now. Realize that things had changed. He had changed. Maybe now it wasn’t how the people in Rainbow Valley felt about him. It was how he felt about himself.

  “What about you?” he asked. “Would you ever consider leaving Rainbow Valley?”

  “I’ve thought about it,” she said. “But this is home. I had no idea how much I loved this place until I came back. And the animals…” She shook her head, not looking at him. “I can’t imagine ever leaving again.”

  Each of them knew what they were asking the other, and both of them had their answers.

  Just then she heard Luke’s text message tone. He pulled out his phone. Took a look. She saw his jaw tighten ever so slightly, and then he put the phone back in his pock
et.

  “Bad news?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “I need to go,” she said. “Good night, Luke. Thanks for a wonderful time.”

  Before he could say anything else, she got out of his truck and went into her apartment. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, fighting the regret she knew was coming. There had been a time earlier in the evening when it had crossed her mind that she might invite Luke in tonight. Maybe ask him to stay. And now that she hadn’t, all she could think about was how much she wished she had. After tonight, she wanted him so much she was in danger of becoming obsessed. But if she gave in to that, what would she feel like when he eventually left this place and never came back? And that was exactly what was going to happen. He couldn’t have made it any clearer if he’d shouted it. She remembered how she’d felt all those years ago when she woke up to find him gone, and if she put herself in a position to be hurt by it again, it was her own damned fault.

  She sat down on her sofa, resting her head against the back of it and closing her eyes, feeling miserable. So she didn’t want to be hurt? Too late. The wound was already there. All she could do now was try to stop the bleeding.

  She felt sorry for herself for a while longer, floating in misery and teetering on despair. The she sat up slowly, telling herself she needed to cut it out. She’d had a life before Luke showed up—a good life with good friends in a place she loved. She could either wallow in depression for the next several weeks wishing for something she could never have, or she could get on with that life. As long as Luke was there, he was temptation. He always had been. But he clearly wasn’t a man she could have a future with, so it was time to get those thoughts out of her head and replace them with something that made sense.

  Now—right now—was the time to do that.

  She picked up her phone and called Russell. He sounded sleepy enough that she knew she’d probably woken him up, but she didn’t care. He didn’t appear to, either, because when she invited him to dinner at her house on Saturday night, he sounded thrilled to accept. She couldn’t cook worth a damn, but she figured that was a good test. If he ate whatever below-average thing she made for him and paid more attention to her than the food, she’d know they were on the right track.