Love and Repair Series Box Set

by Chelsea Camaron

  “In my drunkenness last night, I stayed over at Sophia’s so I wouldn’t have to drive home. My car is still there, she gave me a ride to work on her way to her job. Can you pick my ass up from work and drop me off at her place to pick up the Trans Am?”

  “You want me to pick you up from work, like as in the garage work?”

  With sarcasm rolling off his tongue, “No, Maggie, I want you to pick me up at the strip club. Where the hell else would I need a ride from work at? Maggie, I get that you don’t want to see him, but really get it over with. It’s bound to happen sooner or later. So put get yourself in that big ass SUV you now drive and pick me up.”

  “Ok, be there in a bit.” I reply shakily. I’m so anxious about Brayden, I let it go that my brother spent the night with one of my close friends.

  Brayden

  I’m under a car when Harrison comes around and kicks my feet to get my attention.

  “What’s up, man?” I ask.

  “Just a heads up, my sister is coming to pick me up. Be on your best behavior. I know you’re clean and trying to get your shit straight. I’m still pissed that you messed things up so badly for her, but I do know you love her. She’s still trying to get her shit back on track so just stay away from her when she comes in, okay. You two can have your time later, now is not it.” Harrison states and then walks away.

  Maggie will be here, Maggie will be here in front of me. I don’t know how to stay away regardless of what her brother has requested. I know he’s right and I should let her have all the time and space she needs. I just can’t. My whole being misses everything about her.

  Before I even know it, I can hear her voice as she talks to Ryder. I’m making my way to the sound of her voice before I can even recognize what I’m doing. She is standing before me, looking amazing as always I just stop and stare. She smiles shyly at me.

  “Hey Brayden, how are you?”

  “Perfect now that I’ve laid my eyes on you, beautiful.”

  She blushes, my Maggie never blushes. I turn to walk away so I can go back to work. She gently grabs my arm.

  “No, Brayden, really How. Are. You?” She asks firmly.

  “Maggie, in all seriousness, I’m good. I’m okay. I have a small apartment, money in the bank, and no drugs. I don’t even drink anymore either. I quit smoking cigarettes too. I miss you but I understand that you need time and space. Don’t worry over me, Maggie, just be happy. You deserve the world to be laid at your feet, not my mess.”

  It hurts to admit but it’s the truth, she deserves better than me. I will always love her, she will always be the one for me, but I love her enough to let her go because that’s what is best for her. I turn and walk away going back to the car I’m working on.

  I don’t know how much time goes by. I roll out from under the car and standing beside me is Maggie. She’s watching me intently as I stand up beside her. I see the tears pooling in her eyes. It kills me inside to see her cry.

  “Maggie, how long have you been standing there?” I ask.

  Harrison huffs out an answer. “Twenty flipping minutes, like I don’t have shit to do and places to be.”

  “Maggie, what do you want? Your brother obviously needs to leave.” I say as I gently wipe a tear off her cheek that finally fell.

  In a whisper, she says. “Can we go out to dinner tonight? I miss you.”

  I pull her into me. Holding her feels so right.

  I whisper in her ear, “I’ll pick you up at seven at your place. Please don’t cry Maggie, you’re killin’ me here. I’ll see you tonight.”

  I release her and she smiles softly still trying to get her crying under control. She walks away. Part of me physically hurts at her obvious heartache. The other part of me is holding onto hope that we can find our way back together again.

  Damn, today is the best day in I don’t know when. Maggie wants to have dinner, she misses me. I know I’m bad for her, but maybe if I stay clean and keep the ghosts at bay this could work me and her. I can’t help but get my hopes up.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Casual

  Maggie

  As I dress for tonight, I can’t believe I’m actually going on a date with Brayden again. I decide to dress in a simple denim skirt that falls just above my knee and a hunter green halter top. It’s Brayden, I don’t need to go overboard. I also don’t know what I want from this so best keep it comfortable.

  The doorbell rings as I put on my flip flops, every Carolina girl’s must have. I open the door to Brayden standing there, in khaki cargo shorts, a blue polo shirt not tucked in and flip flops. Apparently he understands tonight needs to be casual.

  I get into his new to him used car. It’s strange to get into a Honda with Brayden. It’s a nice enough Civic, definitely modified for street racing, just not at all what Brayden typically likes. He loves classic American muscle, so I know this is just a result of his drug use and what he can afford. Now me, I would love to drive this car every day, it just isn’t Brayden. He belongs in his 1970 Dodge Charger.

  We arrive at the restaurant and order. We spend dinner in casual conversation, like two old friends catching up. I feel at ease it’s just like home. We finish dinner and arrive back at my house. Harrison isn’t home so I invite Brayden in.

  I didn’t mean to advance things, but suddenly I find myself needing to kiss him. Before he even has a chance to get all the way into the living room, I take him by the hand to my bedroom. As soon as we get in the door, I kiss him with every ounce of passion that is burning inside of me. This is not planned, this is not my intention, but I don’t want to stop. I just want him, here and now. I push him down on my bed, kissing him with fervor. I grip the hem of his shirt and begin to pull it over his head. I notice his small beer belly is gone. He may not be as tone as my brother or Ryder but there is a definite difference in Brayden’s body and it makes me even hotter. I unhook his belt and shorts, pushing them off of him.

  Brayden is here in my bed, now only clothed in his boxers, and he is letting me be in charge. I like this, I like this a lot. I kiss him again, he pulls my shirt off and slides my skirt up, cupping my ass in his hands.

  He whispers to me. “Never any panties, ever. Mmmm…Oh Maggie.”

  I’m easily and quickly lost in the sensations of what is purely Brayden. His fingers find their way to my core, rubbing my clit in a teasing motion before he finally inserts one into me. A soft moan escapes my lips. He rolls me over onto my back. Slowly he removes my skirt as I now lay naked in front of him.

  “Like what you see, Brayden?” I smirk.

  He smiles. “I love what I see Maggie, always have, always will.”

  Then he begins to caress, kiss and suck on my breasts. Sensations are washing over me, a passion so consuming I feel as if I am drowning in the emotion radiating off of him. He kisses his way down, reaching my inner thighs. He slowly licks around my intimate lips, spreading me he nuzzles himself down as he then begins to torture me with pleasure using only his tongue. The skills this man has with his mouth are beyond any other I have ever experienced. I feel my orgasm building and I can’t hold back. As he sucks my clit he inserts two fingers inside me slowly stretching and flicking at my insides. This pushes me over the top as I cry out his name.

  “Take me, Brayden, now.”

  Then he surprises me. “No, Maggie, you’re not ready for that from us. I can feel it in you. Right now, you think you want me, but it’s release you want baby. I’ll give you that a hundred times over, but I won’t take you until you are really ready, love.”

  I sit up at his response. “Brayden, I want you enough said. We may have problems, sex has never been one of them, don’t make it one now.” I say with a bitchy tone.

  He looks at me with unspoken emotion in his eyes. “So, Maggie, if I ask you to give me another chance and get back together with me, would your answer be yes? The only way I’m gonna make love to you is to be with you again…all the way. I want to make love to you not have sex with you a
nd I want to do it for the absolute rest of my life.”

  I say nothing for a bit, causing him to get up and to dress himself. He looks over at me and just stares for a moment. He tosses me my clothes.

  “See, Maggie, you don’t know what you want. I won’t take advantage of you. I’ll gladly fool around with you and give you orgasm after orgasm. The next time we have sex, we will be committed to our relationship together, our future together. I’ll be making love to your entire mind, body, and soul. I love you, Maggie, and I’ll wait as long as it takes. You still have things to sort through and I understand. As hard as this is, I’m going to go home. Dinner was great, I’d love to take you out again sometime.”

  With that he leans over, kisses me gently and walks away.

  Brayden

  Walking out her door is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a very long time. Maggie is confused, unsure, and I will not take advantage of her. Now, I’m seriously on edge. The loneliness of my apartment consumes me.

  I just wanted to have an evening with Maggie as my friend. When she kisses me, I cease in my ability to think. Maybe I should have stopped things then. I’m trying to do the right thing here but now it will rack my brain all night.

  What am I going to do if Maggie decides she really is over me? What if after tonight she never speaks to me again? I’ve made a mess of things, again. My phone rings, I cringe as I look at the caller ID.

  “Yes, Mom,” I answer.

  “Don’t call me that, I am not your mother. I got some letter in the mail for you. I opened it, something about completing rehab. I burned it in the fireplace. You’ve gone and done it now. Making Bianca go in your place wasn’t enough for you, huh? So you just had to go and waste your life doing drugs. Really you are a true piece of shit. I don’t know why it couldn’t have been you that night. You’re the reason your father left us, he didn’t want any more children after we had Bianca. Then he comes back, you decide to be a bastard and your sister ends up the dead one instead.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” I say knowing it doesn’t really matter what I say. I’m always wrong.

  She cuts me off screaming. “I am not your mother, you bastard!” And with that the line goes dead.

  Great, the paper I need for court has now been burned. I must have been distracted when I gave them her address instead of Ryder’s.

  If I could go back, I would have made sure Bianca was home that night. I may not have said one word to my father, but at least my sister would still be alive, my mother would be happy. Maggie would be happy and vibrant without a care in the world. I’ve ruined everything for them all. These thoughts swirl on repeat in my head. Everyone would be better if it had been me.

  There is a knock at my door. I open it to find Valerie standing in front of me with a strange grin.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Relapse

  Brayden

  “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Valerie asks.

  “Um, sure come in.” I respond as I open the door wider for her to enter.

  She sits on my couch, so I take the chair. For the first few moments, we sit there silently. I haven’t seen Valerie since before rehab and only once before that right after she was home from her time in Colorado getting clean. So when she pulls out the LSD I am in shock to say the least.

  “Come on Bray, I know you need an escape right now. It’s just acid, neither of us has ever had an issue when it comes to stopping using this, so it won’t hurt your progress.” Valerie says way too nonchalantly.

  This evening is not supposed to be going this way at all. Feeling overwhelmed, my Mom’s voice still echoing in my ears, I take the tiny paper and place it under my tongue before I even think twice about what I am doing. As the euphoria of the LSD hits me, I realize how royally I have just fucked up.

  “Valerie, this is wrong, you need to go. Now!” I roar as I’m up and walking to the door.

  “Bray, what is wrong? Is it a bad trip? You aren’t seriously going to kick me out, are you?” Valerie stammers.

  “Yes, you need to leave. I never should have let you in. I don’t want to use drugs of any kind to escape anymore. You need to go and get your shit straight.” I’m now yelling at her firmly. It seems to get through to her and she finally leaves.

  As the lights and colors are swirling around me, I curl into myself on my bathroom floor to try to wait it out. I don’t know why but I call Maggie. She answers surprisingly.

  “Maggie, I need you now. As my friend, I need you. Please will you come over and sit with me?” I plead.

  “I’ll be there in five minutes.” With that she hangs up, no questions asked.

  She arrives at my apartment and I immediately tell her I’m tripping. At first she’s angry, then I ask her to sit down and hear me out.

  Three hours later, I have poured my heart out and I have no secrets left inside me. Maggie holds me, cries with me and encourages me as I share with her my childhood and my sister. Eventually, we both fall asleep wrapped in one another on my couch. I wake up early the next morning to Maggie stirring in my arms. I look down at her and smile.

  “Thank you for coming last night. I’ve decided, I’m going to sign up and start meetings today. I’m gonna get a sponsor and do the whole thing. I want to get clean and stay clean. No more slip ups, no more mistakes.”

  “It’s what you need Bray. I know things are all mixed up between us right now, but I do love you. Get yourself straightened out and I’ll keep working on me, then we can figure out what is left for us together.” She says as she leans into cuddle closer. We both fall back asleep.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Recovery

  Maggie

  I wake up on Brayden’s couch all tangled up in him. As I lay there I appreciate the honest communication he and I shared the night before. I can’t help but be slightly upset that it took an acid trip to get him to open up to me.

  Looking at the whole picture though, I see the change in him. Once he recognized getting high wasn’t the answer, he called me. Me, he called me. I was the one he ran to for support. Finally, after all of these years, I know his past and things make more sense to me now.

  I have found a new sense of myself and my relationship with Brayden. My heart is and has always been his. I want to work through everything with him. I want to salvage what we can from our relationship and build into a stronger future together.

  Brayden begins to stir beneath me. I smile down at him. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning, beautiful. Thank you, Maggie, for being here for me.”

  “Anytime and always baby, always.” I say as I lean down to kiss him.

  When I try to deepen the kiss, he pulls away from me gently.

  “Maggie, baby, what’s going on?” He asks.

  “I want you, I want us, and I want this to work. Last night is proof that together we can reclaim us. We have work to do, but I’m yours Brayden, now and always.” I say, boldly staring in his eyes.

  “Will you go to meetings with me? Maggie, I really want to get clean and stay clean. I brushed off the follow up after rehab not accepting that I need continued treatment. I need to learn coping skills and I think a good program with those meetings will help me.” He says sincerely.

  “Yes, Brayden, I think the meetings would be beneficial for both us. I need to learn more. I love you. I want us to work and to do that we need to work through this together.” I say hoping he realizes I’m here for him in everything.

  We get up and go online to find a local drug abuse support group or narcotics anonymous. After a bit, we manage to find one to fit both our schedules perfectly. We register and sign up for the next meeting which happens to be in just two days. I’m nervous but I know we both need this. I know absolutely nothing about drug addiction and recovery.

  Brayden

  So the time has come for me to face my ghosts and own my shit. Step one, I, Brayden Eugene Holmes, am a complete and utter asshole. I have been more than selfish having a c
omplete disregard for everyone around me. I have a serious drug issue stemming from my need to escape myself. I have been out of control and completely powerless to my drug addiction. Yes, I, Brayden Eugene Holmes, am a drug addict.

  It’s easier to face and admit to then I thought it would be. With the drugs out of my system, I can see more clearly the damage I’ve caused everyone and the full control my addiction had over me. Maggie is beside me all the way. We have spent the last week together only separating for work obligations. It is a different experience to be with her like this. We hold hands cuddle and kiss but neither of us has made a move for anything more physical. My body aches for her but I want to take things slow. I want to have everything with this woman and not just get lost in great sex.

  I am learning to release the hold Bianca’s death has on me. No matter what my mother thinks, no matter what even I think of myself, I can’t escape the truth that she is gone and not coming back. Instead of running from the eyes staring back at me in the mirror I need to embrace this life I have been given. I need to live to the fullest for me and my sister.

  That means I need to stay clean and sober to take in every breath, every moment, and make every memory I can. The desire in me to escape the world is slowly going away and I want to face my future hand in hand with Maggie.

  Finally, I sit and seriously study the materials from rehab. I have a purpose in this life. There is a God, he loves me, he forgives me, and he understands me when I can’t even understand myself. There is a bigger picture here, I need to embrace this and make the appropriate changes. I have been but a shell of a man, but moving forward I will do right by those around me, Maggie, and myself.

  I am boldly facing all of my inner fears and shortcomings. I am going to release my will, my fears, and my life to God. It’s more than time for me to grow up, get some balls and face life head on. I have made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people close to me. Making amends isn’t going to be easy, but nothing worth anything ever is.