Revive Me

by Ferrell, Charity

  She laughed. “Oh trust me, he’s still bending those girls over. You think he’d go that long without sex? Hell no. He’s just discreet about it.” Who the hell was this guy? Fucking Casablanca? “He likes to seduce the good girls, turn them into girls like me, and then leave us crying on the sidewalk.”

  “And what exactly is a girl like you?” I asked curiously.

  “Used,” she answered, her honesty shocking me. “Slutty.” She held my eye contact without looking ashamed. “We end up on a search to find another guy to give us that feeling again and not leave us. But that never happens. Once they find out what you are, they’ll hook up with you, but you’re nothing but bragging rights to their friends. We realize the guy we thought cared about us was using us.”

  I slammed my bottle of water down hard against the table. “You don’t know shit about her. She’s none of those things.”

  “Not yet.”

  “If that happens, it’s not my problem.” My words hit me straight into the gut. It would fucking obliterate me if she gave him her virginity. But I couldn’t stop it. She wasn’t mine. She was his now.

  Derrick had been giving me updates on her during our guys’ days. She’d go to his football games with me, but text him the entire time. Instead of going out for pizza or burgers afterwards, she’d meet him at some party and stay out until early in the morning. She never stayed out all night. He told me Reese had come over once, and they’d gone straight up to her bedroom. He didn’t know how late he stayed, but it was after he’d gone to bed.

  “Right. You’ve been stalking them the entire lunch period. You don’t like him with her because you want her. She probably wanted you before, but you were too pussy to do shit about it. And because of your pussy-ness, she’s with him now, and you’re jealous, but still not doing shit about it. It hurts to see her with someone else, doesn’t it?” Damn, this girl sure knew how to kick a guy when he was down. “Wait until she’s fucking him,” she pressed. “Imagine her naked in his sheets.”

  Now she was going overboard. “That’s enough,” I said angrily. “Who the fuck are you, and why are you even talking to me?”

  She held out her slim hand and gave me a red-lipped smile. “I’m Alexa, that douchebag’s ex-girlfriend.” She tilted her head to a laughing Reese rubbing Tessa’s shoulders.

  “Sorry to hear that,” I answered. “And this sounds like it’s some kind of jealous thing.”

  She popped the gum in her mouth. “Yeah, you could say I’m jealous of all the girls he shows attention to because I miss the affection, but I’m over him. Him and me, we’re like fire and gasoline.”

  “Again, why are you talking to me?”

  “Reese’s dad is going on a fishing trip with mine this weekend.” She rolled her eyes. “They do it every year even though they should be working. And every year, Reese has a girl stay with him. He makes them dinner, gives them all this romantic bullshit, and obviously gets laid.”

  If she brought up Reese fucking or laying Tessa one more time, I was going to flip the table over and destroy everything in sight. “Thanks for the info,” I said, wanting the conversation to end. “But like I said, it’s not my business. Or yours.”

  She peered up at me through her dark lashes. “True, do whatever you want with the info. She seems like a decent girl, and if someone is willing to save her, they better.” She reached out and ran her red-nailed hand over my arm as her lips tilted into a mischievous smile. “If not, let me know when you outgrow your crush, or are up for some revenge sex.”

  I peeled her fingers off of me. People would probably call me an idiot for not taking her up on the offer, but it didn’t feel right. I was aching to get laid. I hadn’t touched a girl since Tanner’s death, but it felt like I was cheating on Tessa anytime I talked to another girl now. Tanner’s death had taught me that life was more than having meaningless sex with random girls.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I’m good,” I said.

  She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Let me know if you change your mind.” She got up from her chair and sauntered away, shaking her ass seductively in the process.

  “Dude, what the hell?” Cody asked.

  I snapped back into reality and noticed Cody and Ollie were still sitting at the table. Shit, they’d heard everything. “If you want to turn her down that’s cool, but what about me?” He pointed to himself. “Bro code, you’ve always got to introduce the bros.”

  “You were obviously listening, assholes,” I said. “Don’t you dare say shit to anyone about anything you heard.” The last thing Tessa needed was her getting a reputation for putting out before she even did put out. People were already making speculations about the two of them. That would make things worse.

  “You know we’d never do that shit,” Ollie said. “Plus, I don’t think Cody heard a word that was said. He was too busy drooling to pay attention to anything.”

  Cody threw an apple slice at him. “Screw you, asshole. I wasn’t the only one.” He looked at me. “You do need to say something to Tessa, though. You need to warn her the fuck away from him. I’d do it, but you’re closer to her than us.”

  “You’ve also got the fact that she’s in love with you on your side,” Ollie added. “She’ll listen to you. Put it out there, and I’m sure she’ll listen.”

  “Not so sure about that.” I could’ve stopped her before, but this new Tessa, I wasn’t so sure about. I had no idea what was going through her beautiful, but torn mind.

  “Did you hear about her dad?” Ollie asked.

  I nodded. “She’s the one who had to bond his ass out,” I said, repeating what Derrick had told me. “He’s lawyered up by someone in his firm, and they suspended his license. But because of his situation and role in the town, he’ll probably get off with probation and not face any jail time.”

  Everyone knew about it because they’d posted it in the paper. Not much happened in our small town, so when an affluent lawyer gets arrested on a DUI charge, that shit made headlines. I was pissed about it, too. They’d put their family through the ringer by running numerous articles about the victim’s deaths, and now that. The media were fucking assholes.

  “That sucks. Out of all of our parents, they’d be the last I would think something like that would happen to,” Cody said, at the same time the bell rang. The three of us jumped up from our seats, grabbed our trays, and tossed them on the conveyor belt.

  “Now’s the time to do it,” Cody said, bumping my shoulder and jerking his head towards Tessa.

  I nodded and walked away from them. Tessa was standing with Reese beside their table and gasped when I grabbed her hand and pulled her away from him. I heard him talking shit behind us, but ignored him.

  I drug her into an empty hallway and pressed her against the wall of lockers. My arms went to each side of her head, and I caged her in. I’d had enough.

  “What the hell are you doing with him?” I asked. “Your rebellious phase needs to end before you do something you’re going to regret.”

  I had asked her the question so many times. At first, I’d tried to convince myself it was temporary, but I was wrong. I noticed Reese coming towards us from the corner of my eye. I had to act quickly, but he stopped a few steps away, giving us space, but eyeing me with his arms crossed against his chest. He was going to let us have our moment because he knew it’d end up in his favor. He knew I was about to piss her off and she’d run straight into his scheming arms.

  She sighed heavily and her eyes looked everywhere but at me. “He’s helping me through things, Dawson. I enjoy spending time with him. He makes me feel better. He makes me forget to be sad. I really like him.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with him.” I stumbled back, my hands falling to my side, as her words stabbed me straight into the heart. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. Don’t you want me to be happy?”

  My pulse was running a marathon as I slammed my hand against a locker. “You th
ink he’s going to help you? You think he loves you? Newsflash, he doesn’t,” I spat. “He’s going to break you even more and then step over your crushed body when he’s gotten what he wants. He’s fucking toxic. His shit will bleed into you and make you more screwed up than you already are.” I pointed a finger at a smirking Reese. “I swear to you, he’s not the answer.”

  Her palms flew out, coming into connection with my chest, and I stumbled back at the force. “More screwed up than I already am?” She pounded a finger into my chest. “I’m glad you didn’t want to be with me,” she said angrily. “You led me straight into his arms.”

  “That’s a goddamn lie,” I fired back.

  “Reese doesn’t remind me every three seconds how broken I am. He tells me he understands. He doesn’t point out my flaws or make me feel bad about myself. He makes me feel good. How can you have a problem with that?”

  “You know why,” I growled. “You fucking know why.”

  She groaned in frustration and raised her hands in the air. “You’ve shot me down so many times, so many damn times, and now that I’ve found someone else you all of a sudden care about me. You all of a sudden want me to leave him so you can fix me?” She let out a harsh laugh. “I’ve moved on, so you need to move on, too.”

  My head sunk down, but I kept my eyes on her. “Please, just please don’t have sex with him,” I begged, and her eyes widened. “Hang out with him, watch movies with him, do whatever, but please don’t give him that. He’s using you.”

  She held up her palm. “Wow,” was all she said before turning around and stomping down the hallway right into his arms.

  “Fuck,” I seethed, throwing my head back and kicking a locker forcefully.

  “You want me to leave you alone?” I yelled, a sour taste in my mouth, as they started down the hallway. She turned around in his arms and looked directly at me. Her face was void of any emotion. It was like she wasn’t even in there anymore. Her body was within reach, but her heart had been sucked out of it. “Fine, have it your way. I’m done, you hear me. You walk away with him, and we’re done. I’m done with you.”

  “Then we’re done,” she said, her voice strong. Reese grabbed her waist, and they walked away. She walked away, and my heart shattered into pieces, stabbing into my rib cage, and killing me. I slammed my fist into a locker, feeling skin break when it connected with the rough metal, before darting out the doors jumping into my truck. She didn’t even try to stop me. She did nothing. If she didn’t want me, why was I fighting to keep her?

  Tessa

  I was running late, and the sky was dim when I punched in the address to Reese’s house. I turned down the music, needing silence, as I put my car in drive and took off down my street. Anticipation was eating at my nerves. I wondered what he’d planned for us tonight while I was showering. I prayed it wasn’t another party as I blow-dried my hair, and I hoped I’d feel comfortable as I got dressed.

  My phone beeped, breaking me away from my thoughts, and I grabbed it from the passenger seat to read the text on the screen.

  CODY: You really need to talk to Dawson. He only wants what’s best for you. Don’t be mad at him.

  I pushed my foot down harder on the gas pedal, and my car accelerated. None of them had a right to meddle in my personal life. I kept my eyes on the road, and the episode with Dawson flashed through my mind. I had felt like all of the air in my lungs released when he’d told me he was done with me. He was giving up. I had Reese now, but I’d never thought of a life without Dawson. I’d loved him for as long as I’d known him, but he didn’t want me until Tanner died. He’d turned me down, over and over again, and now that he was alone he wanted me. That stung. It stung badly. My inner voice insisted he didn’t want to lose the only family he’d ever had, and I was the perfect pawn for him to keep that.

  Reese wasn’t constantly telling me I needed a babysitter or making my decisions for me. He allowed me to be me … the new me. Dawson was trying to save the girl who’d once been full of life, bubbly, and ready for anything. I wasn’t that girl anymore. Reese knew and accepted the lost Tessa. I didn’t care what anyone else had to say about him. I knew Reese wasn’t perfect, but he understood me and being understood when you’re in a dark place is one of the best feelings in the world.

  I braked in front of a small, white, one-story house and eyed it from my street. The paint on the siding was chipping around the windows, exposing some of the dingy brown wood, and I noticed one shutter was broken and falling onto its side. The front door was slid open, but a thin screen was pulled into its place. I grabbed my bag, got out, and wrapped the sweater on my shoulders around my body tightly. The closer I got, the louder the music got. I walked through a chain-link fence that was open and into a narrow walkway that was surrounded by overgrown grass, weeds, and dandelions. I lifted my leg, nearly tripping on a cracked step, and jumped up onto the porch.

  “Hello!” I shouted through the screen. I pulled at the handle, noticing it was unlocked, but I hesitated on whether or not to just walk in. I knew I’d been invited, but I didn’t want to just barge in.

  “He ain’t goin’ to hear ya over that garbage music, darlin’, a struggling voice called out. I looked over to find an elderly man sitting down in a chair on the porch of the house next door. An oxygen tube was coming from a large tank connecting to his nose as he rocked back and forth. “I’d be careful. Boys who listen to loud music are always trouble,” he warned, looking at me through the thick lenses in his glasses.

  “Uh, thanks,” I said, giving him a polite wave because I wasn’t sure what else to do. I yelled Reese’s name through the screen, but still got no answer.

  I clutched the handle in my hand again, ignoring the neighbor’s penetrating stare, and walked in. I was immediately hit with the pungent smell of cigarettes and dust balls. A brown curtain was blocking the sunlight from beaming into the room. A suede couch was positioned in the middle of the room with a big screen TV perched onto a black, dusty stand. A blue and yellow plaid chair was sitting on each side of the couch beside black tables. Other than those few pieces of furniture, numerous bottles of alcohol scattered with a few lamps on the tables, the room was empty.

  “Hello?” I yelled again, taking a few steps. The music pierced through my ears when I landed in the kitchen and spotted an iPod plugged into into a docking station…. still no Reese.

  “Oh hey, I didn’t hear you come in,” a gravelly voice said, causing me to jump and bump into a cabinet. I turned around and found Reese standing at the back door with a plate in one hand and a beer in the other.

  I rubbed my side and shuffled my feet against the floor. “Yeah, I knocked a few times,” I replied, pointing at the player.

  “Oh shit, yeah,” he muttered, walking around me and turning down the volume with his free hand. He set the plate down on the small table, and I noticed it was filled to the rim with cheeseburgers.

  “Are you having a party?” I asked, counting twelve burgers on the plate and waiting for his answer with dread.

  He looked down at the tray and back at me. “Nope, just figured you might be extra hungry,” he joked.

  “Yeah, there’s no way I’m eating all of that.”

  He laughed, grabbed my waist, and brought me into his tight hold. “When I actually take the time to cook, I usually make a shit ton of food and save it for the rest of the week.”

  We ate the cheeseburgers and sucked down a few beers as Reese talked about a few parties coming up and his friend’s band. I stayed quiet, nodding my head, and sipping on the beers he was handing my way. He finally stood up from his chair and shot his arm out for me to grab.

  “You have no fucking idea how damn happy I am that you actually showed up. I promise you we’re going to have a good time tonight. Just you and me,” he said, kissing my forehead and dragging me into him.

  “Just you and me,” I whispered, smiling back at him.

  Suddenly, his lips were on mine, and he was grabbing my waist to lift me
up on the counter behind me. My head spun as he slid his tongue into my mouth and kissed me roughly. I ran my tongue against his piercing, and his hand shot up to my hair, clasping it as he groaned wildly. I spread my legs open, allowing him to slide in between them, and press his growing erection against my heat.

  I moaned at the sensation of him grinding against me, and he took that as an opportunity to go farther. His hands went for the hem of my sweater and pulled it over my head. He threw it on the floor and immediately unhooked my bra. A cold shiver crawled over my skin, and I shuddered. Reese didn’t notice, instead, he continued to grind against me. He suddenly pulled away and before I had a chance to ask what was wrong, he leaned down and pulled a nipple into his mouth.

  My head smacked into a cabinet as my head flew back. “Oh my God, that actually feels good,” I groaned, enjoying the sudden tingling sensations swirling through my stomach. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol but I’d never felt something so intimate before. He groaned in response, and I got lost in his touch.

  He dug his hand into my hips before making a move for my leggings. My head went into overdrive, immediately picking up what was happening, I froze. “Wait,” I said, stopping his hands.

  He pulled away and took a step back. When I finally had the nerve to look at his face, he shook his head at me. “Are you attracted to me at all?” he asked, causing my back to go straight against the hard wood.

  “What?” I asked crossing my arms against my bare chest.

  He gave me a blank look before sighing dramatically. “It’s just every time I try to show you affection, you pull away from me. Why? Do you not like me like that? Am I not your type?”

  Alcohol swirled through my stomach, and my head as I tried to think of the best way to explain myself. “I told you I’m not that experienced.”

  “Are you planning on joining a convent or some shit?” he asked, raising a brow.