Some Kind of Monster

by Albany Walker

  Grim lifts his chin in understanding. “You are the daughter of Lilith, a goddess of life.”

  I grab onto the bed sheet, convinced someone just rocked my world off its axis if the dizzy feeling overtaking me means anything. Grim places his hand over mine. His heat and touch are welcome. “Help me understand why that matters,” he requests with genuine concern.

  “I…” I start, but I don’t really have an answer. Does it really matter? It’s a name, a title even, but it doesn’t dictate who I am. In fact, it’s really the opposite of who I am. I’m an orphan, thrown away by parents who never bargained to have a monster for a child.

  “It shouldn’t matter, I don’t want it to matter, but I never knew. I just thought I was other, a misfit.” I shake my head and shove the self-pitying thoughts away. “Why do I need sins to survive?”

  Grim takes a deep breath and his eyes go unfocused. “Perception is reality.” He blinks slowly. “Many beings that we consider to be Charmed exist because someone, or many someones, believed them into reality. One does not exist without the other.”

  “But I was born, you told me I chose to be born. What does that have to do with me?”

  “Yes, you chose this life,” he confirms, squeezing my hand. “What stories do you know of Lilith?”

  I scan my thoughts. “I’ll be honest, religion isn’t my strong suit, but I think Lilith was Adam’s first wife, right?” Grim nods, urging me to continue. “She was created by God, just like Adam, not of Adam.” I squint, not recalling how she was suddenly no longer Adam’s wife or why Eve came along. “I don’t know, she’s evil or a demon or something, right?”

  “No.” Grim says it with absolute certainty. “She was beautiful, curious, and uncontainable, but not evil.”

  “Did you know her?” I accuse, jealousy darkening my voice.

  “We existed at the same time,” he answers cryptically.

  “That doesn’t answer my question.” I lower my chin and give him a scowl. “You called her beautiful.”

  “In the same way a tidal wave is beautiful, chaotic and destructive, but still stunning,” Grim reasons.

  “So… she was evil?”

  “Not any more than you or me. We just are.” I rub my temple at Grim’s non-answer. “But you’re making my point. Your perception, along with everyone else’s, influences manifestations. You consume sins for substance because that is what one would expect from the daughter of Lilith.”

  My hand falls away from my face and my mouth slips open. “But I didn’t know I was Lilith’s daughter.”

  “Yet you are, just as I am Death. Consuming sins doesn’t make you evil, any more than reaping souls makes me evil. It just helps you thrive on the perception of those that believe there is more to this world than what is clearly visible. Without that belief, most of us would cease to exist.”

  “So, is she still alive?” I bite my lip. I’m not sure I ever want to meet the woman Grim described as beautifully chaotic.

  “In you. When you chose to be born here, she ended and you began.”

  I damn near slide off the bed in my haste to stand up. “You said I was her daughter,” I argue, pointing my finger at him.

  “I’m sorry I am upsetting you if I’m not explaining this right.” Grim searches my face.

  “Is she my mom or not?” I half shout.

  Grim pushes to his feet and the door to the room opens. Calix is standing in the doorway with Gunnar behind him.

  “You are born of her. You are her daughter,” Grim states, and the door closes with a snap. I start to laugh. At first it’s a low chuckle, then it morphs into a hysterical half laugh, half sob. These men are making me an emotional basket case. For a minute there, I thought I might have a real mom somewhere, but now I know I really am just an orphan.

  Chapter 8

  “…waited, you have the sensitivity of an avocado.” I hear the last bit of the whispered conversation as I exit the bathroom. After my outburst, I snatched some clothes from the bed and disappeared until I got myself under control.

  I snort at Calix’s assessment of Grim’s sensitivity. “Knock it off, he didn’t do anything wrong,” I defend. He really didn’t. My response had nothing to do with Grim or how he told me. It’s not like Calix or Gunnar could have made the truth easier to hear.

  “At least he told me something. Why is everyone always acting like there’s some big secret?” I may be past the knee-jerk hysterics, but I’m still frustrated. “Why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?”

  “Does it change anything?” Calix counters, proving I’m not the only one on edge.

  “No, but I still have the right to know who I am.”

  Calix rolls his eyes and lets out a huff. “I have never in my life met anyone who owns what they are more than you, Dami. Knowing your origins doesn’t change who you are.” I’m not sure if that was meant to be a compliment, but it somehow feels like one. “I was born from Greek mythology, and Gunnar was changed from a human to a tool of vengeance for a witch. Does that change anything about us? No!” he answers his own question.

  “Who got your hackles all riled up?” I grouse, because he’s making sense and also because he’s being kind of shitty considering I heard him chastising Grim for his delivery, and now he’s being pretty damn blunt, too.

  “The South has a pretty heavy shifter population.” Gunnar slaps Calix on the back as he walks past him. “Seems everyone already knows ole Cal is in town.” Calix lifts his lips in a sneer as he glares at Gunnar’s back.

  “What does that mean?” I search Calix’s face, but he isn’t giving anything away.

  “It seems he’s not quite as obligation free as he would like to believe.” Gunnar throws himself on the bed, putting his boots right on the comforter and crossing his ankles.

  “Did you secure us another residence?” Grim inquires, seemingly uninterested in Gunnar’s taunts.

  “Oh, the Nemean took care of that for us, even got us a car. Isn’t that right, Cal?” Gunnar is way too chipper for something not to have gone very wrong.

  A soft knock on the door draws my attention. In my peripheral, I see Calix drop his head in what looks like defeat.

  When no one moves to answer the door, I do. That makes Calix spring into action as he races to beat me to the door. “Hey, Dami, remember when you were bummed I wasn’t a shifter? Well, you’re about to meet a whole pack of them.”

  I turn back in time to see Calix open the door. He stands in front of the threshold, blocking anyone from entering the room. I go up on my toes and lean to the side so I can see who’s there.

  It’s a woman, an attractive woman, a very attractive woman. Her green eyes are the first thing I notice. They are slanted up at the corners just enough to give her face an exotic beauty that no eyeliner or makeup can accomplish. Then there’s her hair: all wild curls of black silk that cascade over her shoulders so I can’t tell how long it is. If that weren’t enough, she’s got a dancer’s body too, with long graceful limbs and a tightly tucked-in waist. I look down at myself quickly. At least I have her beat in the tits department.

  When I look back up, she’s bowing her head in what seems like reverence to Calix. I take a step closer and place my palm on his back near his shoulder. He doesn’t respond to my touch, but the woman’s eyes track my movement as she lifts her gaze. Even with her head lowered, I can see her watching me.

  “Everything is ready for your arrival, sir.” Her voice is sultry and soft, but still holds a hint of power. She lifts her head and raises her chin just enough to appear like she’s looking down at me.

  “Sir?” I lean around Calix and peer up at him. He’s always seemed so laidback, so it’s strange to hear her address him in such a way. I’m also visually staking my claim. If she even thinks to lay a hand on him, I will take her life and her soul.

  Ignoring me, he says, “I told you I would be down when I was ready.” His voice is firm.

  She does the slight bow again. “Please forgive my haste.�
��

  “You’re not forgiven.” I slam the door in her face, and then take two steps that place me in front of Calix with the door at my back, so I feel it when she knocks again. “Want to tell me who that was and what the fuck is going on?” I ask him softly, then holler, “Don’t touch the fucking door again. We’ll be out when I’m ready.”

  In a move of utter defiance, she gives the door one more hard rap. I spin, ready to rip it open and decimate her face, when Calix pushes my front up against the door. Near my ear, he softly growls, “If you defy my mate again, I will let her kill you.”

  “Let me?” I scoff, but I don’t argue because Calix molds his body to mine. I feel his chest expand when he draws in a deep breath near the crook of my neck.

  “She is a headache and unavoidable. Unfortunately, now that they know we are here…” I feel Calix slump behind me.

  With little effort, I’m able to turn in his embrace. “Is she still there, listening?” I breathe. He nods, his eyes heavy. “Tell her if she doesn’t go, I will make her.”

  “Go,” he orders, then adds, “If you defy me again, I will take it as a challenge.”

  I don’t hear her leave, but it’s clear when she does by the change in his demeanor. Calix reaches up and grabs the back of my neck, squeezing just enough that my breath catches. Ever so gently, he lowers his face to mine and kisses me. It starts off slow, but quickly becomes desperate as he clings to me.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask when he lets me break away. It’s like my question saps the life from him, his lips stop moving across my jaw and his shoulders slump.

  “Fucking pack shit,” he curses. “I wasn’t careful last night when I arrived, and now they know I’m here.”

  I twine my fingers with his. “What does that mean? Are you in trouble or something?”

  I hear a snort from the other side of the room. Calix uses our clasped hands to draw me toward the bed and urges me to sit. He kneels between my legs, holding on to the tops of my thighs like I might flee any second.

  “I’m not in trouble, Damiana,” he tells me, but he still looks unhappy. “There’s an issue with the pack, they’ve been waiting for a mediator, and now that I’m here…”

  “It’s your job,” I finish for him.

  “It’s my job,” Calix confirms, not sounding happy.

  I reach forward and run my palm over his jaw. “You don’t want to do it?”

  “No. Packs, especially big packs like this one, are messy. When one side doesn’t get what they want, they turn everything into an agenda. It can take months to sort out all the shit.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of Damiana while you’re gone.” Gunnar sounds way too pleased with himself.

  I tsk my tongue and give Gunnar a glare over my shoulder. “We aren’t leaving him here alone, just as I didn’t let you come alone,” I remind him. Facing Calix, I add, “All we need to do is make sure they know not to turn this into some kind of power game.” I grin and lean forward to place a soft kiss on his nose. “If they piss me off too much, I’ll just kill them all and let the chips fall where they may.”

  Gunnar lets out a soft sigh. “She really is perfect.”

  When we exit the hotel, Calix is in the lead. I see the same woman standing near a small, two-seater sports car. Betty has no competition there, but the Audi isn’t anything to sneeze at, either.

  Calix stops in his tracks and slowly turns his head to look at the woman. His hair is pulled back into a small bun, making the angles of his jaw and cheek seem almost harsh. His eyes are what gets me though, not an ounce of the twinkle I’ve come to know. “What the fuck is this?” He lifts his hand and gestures to the car.

  “There’s a second vehicle for your attendants.” She moves to open the passenger side door like some sort of valet.

  I take a step forward, regretting my shoe choice since I’m already hot, but sandals just don’t give the same vibe as a good pair of boots. “What’s your name?” She darts her eyes toward me but ignores my question. Without moving a finger, I open myself to her aura. It’s surprisingly clean, but that doesn’t stop me from calling it.

  She clears her throat once, then lets out a little cough, seemingly stupefied by her sudden lack of air. “I asked your name.” Lowering my chin, I give her a glare.

  The weight of Gunnar’s arm around my neck grounds me as he leans in close and places a gentle kiss on my temple. “You should answer while you still have the ability,” he says, while the woman starts to gasp.

  “Kim.” She slams her palm against her chest a few times, and I watch as her knees bend just enough so I can tell she’s struggling.

  Releasing her soul, I bare my teeth, and Kim blinks several times as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “That’s right, not all monsters look the part. You’d think being a shifter that’s a lesson you would have already learned.”

  Kim makes an effort to swallow and catch her breath, but the fear I imagined I would see on her face is strangely absent. “And your name?” she rasps, acting as if a threat to her life is no big deal.

  “Damiana.” I don’t offer her my much easier to pronounce nickname, she’s not my friend. Too bad, I might have actually liked her if she wasn’t such a snobby asshole. The fact that she’s pretty and looking at what’s mine like he might be the answer to her prayers doesn’t help her case either.

  “Get me the other vehicle,” Calix grits out through his teeth while balling up his fists.

  “Yes, sir,” Kim rushes out. Lifting her hand, she crooks her fingers, motioning to someone to come forward. A black SUV advances slowly behind the Audi. Gunnar squeezes my shoulder before jogging over to the driver’s side of the vehicle. With a jerk of his head, he tells the driver to get out. The man behind the wheel looks to Kim, who dips her chin in acquiescence. Gunnar scowls at the man as he vacates the driver’s seat after Kim gave him permission.

  “Have you secured me lodgings off the pack land?” Calix addresses Kim.

  “I have.” She nods.

  “Address,” Calix barks impatiently.

  Kim’s eyes narrow just the tiniest bit, and her lips pinch before she answers, “It’s off Mt. Olivia Church. There isn’t a street number. I can take you… if that would be acceptable?” She adds the last bit placatingly.

  Calix places his hand on my lower back, guides me over to the SUV Gunnar commandeered, and opens the rear passenger door for me to slide in before he joins me.

  Once seated, I watch Grim stroll over, towing my wheeled luggage behind him. It’s strange seeing him doing such a human task.

  Kim, who now has a few men standing near her, tries to ignore his presence, but I can see a few of her companions watching him from the corner of their eyes, as if not acknowledging him somehow makes him less of a threat. “Why do they pretend they don’t see him?”

  Gunnar hits a button on the ceiling over the mirror and the back hatch opens slowly with a ding. “Because they aren’t as stupid as they act.” Calix makes a harrumph sound, leaving me to believe he agrees with Gunnar’s response.

  Grim’s figure glides past on his way to the front seat. Looking through the windshield, I watch as the man who was driving our confiscated vehicle wedges himself into the passenger seat of the Audi, leaving the remaining men to disburse to wherever they came from.

  I reach over and place my hand on top of Calix’s, noticing the taut line of his jaw and the stubborn set of his lips soften as he turns to me. “Do you want me to kill them?” I offer, only half joking. That brings a slight smile to his lips.

  “Nah, but I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” He gives me a wink, but I can tell he’s forcing the lightness into his tone.

  I slide over a bit until I’m in the middle seat and lean my head on his shoulder while wrapping my hand over Calix’s thigh. I may not be great with words of support, but I can show him I’m right here with him. He lets out a small sigh and rests his head on top of mine. “Sorry I teased you about your singing. I re
ally did think it was cute,” he whispers.

  “You hurt my feelings a little, but I probably overreacted.” I lean into him a little more, so he knows I’m not upset. “Kind of a bummer I have to give up my dream of joining the Spice Girls though.” That has the desired effect. Calix chuckles softly, burrowing his nose under my hair near my neck.

  The scenery around us transitions rather quickly from a large, bustling city to huge swaths of thick trees and sparsely placed houses. After about twenty minutes, Gunnar slows the car and turns onto a narrow gravel path, following behind the Audi. From there it’s a short drive down a winding road that opens up to a clearing which reminds me a little of my own driveway.

  As soon as Calix opens the door, he curses. Kim is already standing outside of the Audi along with her companion. “What’s up?” I look around to see why Calix is aggravated.

  “Pack politics,” he answers, and stalks his way over to Kim. The woman takes one step back, but then seems to think better of it and holds her ground.

  “This isn’t pack property,” she blurts.

  I watch the smooth lines of Calix’s body as he gets closer to her, clearly ready to pounce. “It smells like pack.” His voice comes out just this side of a growl.

  “It’s pack owned, but not on the land,” Kim confirms.

  Grim extends his hand to me, helping me from the back seat. Keeping my eyes trained on Calix, I watch as he steps into Kim’s space and bares his teeth. The woman doesn’t meet his eyes, instead she stands as still as a statue. I can’t even tell if she’s breathing.

  “Twice now you have defied me, playing games. Is this how your pack operates?”

  Kim blinks twice, proving she hasn’t turned to stone. “He’s pretty pissed. I bet he wouldn’t even care if I killed her now,” I comment absently.

  The man who rode with Kim sends a glare in my direction. I lift my fingers and give him a cutesy wave before I point right at him. “If you look at me like that again, I’ll pluck out your eyeballs and feed them to you.”