Hated (Rock Star Trilogy)

by Mercy Amare

  “That’s awesome.” I think about my own fights with Bridgett. I love my sister, despite our fights. If anything, I feel like our fights bring us closer together.

  “I talked to Mona about my dad. She wanted to know about him, so we spend three hours walking down the streets of Hollywood talking,” Stephan tells me. “Oh, and people asked for our autographs! They had seen me and Mona on ads for your documentary, and they recognized us. It was pretty awesome.”

  I remember the first time somebody asked for my autograph. I was so excited. I actually took a picture of us together so I could keep it. I still have it in a scrapbook somewhere. “Pretty soon you won’t be able to walk anywhere without a bunch of people asking for your autograph. You’ll get sick of it.”

  “Probably,” he agrees. “But it was pretty awesome. Mona was more excited than me.”

  “Mona was meant to be a star.”

  “Yes, she was.”

  Bob knocks on our door. “We need to be leaving for the airport now.”

  7:24 PM

  This is my normal.

  When we get on the airplane, Mona freaks out. It’s her first time on a private jet, so to say that’s she’s ecstatic would be an understatement.

  “Your life is a dream,” she says, as she buckles her seatbelt. “Day trips to New York City in a private jet, Sunday afternoons on a yacht… It’s crazy!”

  I smile, because I used to think just like her. I miss the excitement of it all. I mean, my life still feels like a dream, but this is my normal. Having Mona around helps me remember what it was like when I first started.

  “I heard somebody asked for your autograph yesterday,” I say.

  “Yeah! Oh my God, it was awesome! Some teenage girl totally freaked out, and said she saw me on a commercial for the documentary! It was freaking awesome!” Mona let out a squeal. “I still can’t believe that this is real. I never thought in a million years that I would be on a private jet with Scarlett Ryan.”

  “We’re family,” I remind her.

  “I know! I went my whole life being an only child, wishing that I had a sibling. Turns out I had one the whole time.”

  The pilot comes back, and makes sure we are buckled up before taking off. I watch as Mona and Bridgett both hold onto their seat as we take off. I turn to Stephan, who looks completely calm.

  “Are you nervous about your interview?” Stephan asks me.

  “Definitely not,” I answer. “I’ve done this a lot. I think I stopped being nervous after the third television interview.”

  “What’s the biggest crowd you’ve ever played in front of?”

  I think about his question for a second. “Well, Madison Square Garden was a huge concert. There was over eighteen thousand people there, and it was televised. Over thirty million people watched the show live. I’ve done that two times now.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah, it was awesome.”

  “Were you nervous at all?” he asks.

  “Well, the first time I was sixteen years old. I had been touring for a while, but I was a little nervous right before I went on stage. The second I started singing, all my nerves faded away and I was just excited. It was one of those ‘oh my God, I’m really famous’ moments. Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy the ride. But the second time I did it, I was eighteen. I wasn’t nervous at all. Just excited,” I tell him. “The rush of being on stage isn’t something I can describe. Thousands of people singing my songs along with me… I’m always blown away that so many people show up to hear me play. I always give everything I’ve got into my performances.”

  Once the plane levels out, I see Bridgett and Mona both relax. They too join the conversation.

  “When was the exact moment that you knew you had made it to the big time?” Mona asks.

  “That one is easy,” I answer. “I remember it like it was yesterday. I was nominated for a Grammy — Best New Artist of the Year. I was up next to some crazy awesome people. I felt honored just to be nominated. So I was at the awards ceremony, and they called my name. I was so shocked. I hadn’t expected it at all. It was the moment that they called my name, I knew that I was in it for real. I knew that I had made it.”

  “Did you have a speech prepared?” Bridgett asks.

  “No way! I didn’t think I would win. Besides, I’ve always been better at winging it.”

  “If you could go back in time, would you still choose to do this?” Mona asks.

  “I would,” I answer truthfully. “I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is the life I was made to live. Without it, I wouldn’t have found my twin sister. Without it, I wouldn’t have found Stephan.”

  “I doubt that,” Stephan says. “You and I were meant to find each other.”

  “Either way — music is my life… It’s my dream. The fact that I have made a career out of it still blows my mind. I mean, I’d be happy even if I wasn’t famous as long as I was playing. I’m glad that Dad pushed me.” It’s in that moment, I realize just how much I miss my dad. I went from talking to him and seeing him daily to never seeing him. I look at Bridgett. She looks sad, and I know it’s because I mentioned our dad. “Bridge, do you think you’ll ever find a way to forgive him?”

  She looks shocked by my question. It takes her a few seconds to respond. “I will forgive him eventually, but forgiveness isn’t the issue. It’s going to be forgetting. I don’t know if I can ever get over him taking you and leaving me.”

  “Do you think you will try to get to know him?” I ask.

  “I will try… for you,” she says. “I know that you miss him. He’s your dad. I miss my dad too.”

  “Have you decided if you’re going to your parents’ house for Thanksgiving?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, I think I’m going to go and take Alec with me. He will be a great buffer between my mom and me. I think I talked them out of inviting Martin. I’ll probably just go hang out for a couple days and spend the rest of the time in Hope with you.”

  “So, what is going on between you and Alec?” Mona asks Bridgett.

  I’d love to hear Bridgett’s answer, but I know that she won’t answer. Like me, she’s better at locking away her emotions. Someday Alec will drag it out of her. I know she can’t say no forever.

  “We’re just friends,” she answers nonchalant. “We just have to spend a lot of time together because of Scarlett. He’s producing her album, and I’m her manager. Plus, they are going on tour together. The next year is going to be pretty freaking crazy.”

  “Yes, it is,” Stephan agrees with her. “I’m ready for it to be over.”

  “After this, it will be something else,” Bridgett says. “There will always be something else with Scarlett.”

  It’s true. But I wasn’t going to tell him that. I am just hoping that once the tour is over, Stephan will be used to it. But from the way Stephan is looking at me, I’m not sure he wants to get used to it.

  Will my life ever get any less complicated? I’m going to go with NO.

  Sunday, November 16

  1:31 PM

  I will never date you, Alec Torch!

  All is well in the life of Scarlett Ryan. My interviews are done, my photo shoot is done, and today is my day off. Well, sort of. I spent four hours trying to catch up on my homework, and then decided I’d rather be on a boat. So, here I am, on Alec’s yacht enjoying the beautiful Sunday in the middle of the ocean. I only have a few hours before I have to go back to reality. A few hours before this peace is gone… But I don’t want to think about that. I just want to enjoy my day.

  Thursday morning, we got to New York and I ended up getting like four hours of sleep before having to leave for my interviews. After spending seven hours at five different television studios, I went sightseeing with Alec, Bridgett, and Mona. They all had plenty of sleep, so they were ready to go. I, however, was dead on my feet all day. Finally, we flew back to LA. I slept in the plane on the way back, and got a few more hours once we got home. Then I was at the s
tudio at five AM for my photo shoot. Thank God for makeup, because I’m sure the circles under my eyes were dark.

  Saturday afternoon, Stephan wanted to spent time with me… And it’s not like I don’t enjoy time with him, I do, but I just want to sleep. I need to sleep. We ended up staying up way too late, because I just can’t seem to tell Stephan no.

  But now, I’m laying out on the boat, soaking up the sun. My eyes are closed, and I am about to drift off to sleep when hear yelling. I open my eyes to see Alec carrying Bridgett. He walks to the back of the boat with her squirming and jumps off. Once they hit the water, I hear Bridgett yell at Alec some more, and then she climbs up the ladder.

  So much for sleep, I think.

  Alec climbs up the ladder, and I watch Bridgett punch his arm. I roll my eyes. The two of them have to be the most frustrating couple on the planet… Or non-couple, actually. They should be dating. As much as they fight you’d think they were dating.

  Peter and the camera crew film their argument. I hope they air it just so Bridge and Alec can see how ridiculous they look when they argue like that. I laugh at the thought. If anything, seeing the argument on TV will just make them argue more.

  “I WILL NEVER DATE YOU, ALEC TORCH!” Bridgett yells and then stomps off.

  Never say never, I think. My mind goes back to my bet with Stephan — how he’d never see me naked. He’s seen me naked more times than I can count now… Though I’m pretty sure at the time, I knew it was inevitable. I just said it because I was angry at him.

  Why was I mad?

  Oh, right! Because he updated my Twitter.

  Bridgett walks over and sits beside me. Her hair drips on my legs, so I sit up. “Hey, Bridge.”

  “Alec has got to be the most frustrating man on the planet.”

  Yep. I’m definitely not getting any sleep. “You’re so perfect for each other. You just need to stop fighting it.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “That’s not happening. I can’t be with somebody who frustrates me as bad as he does. I couldn’t handle being around him twenty-four-seven.”

  “I said the same thing about Stephan when we first got together,” I tell her. “Now look at us. We’re married. I’m stuck with him forever.”

  “Not everybody gets a happy ever after,” Bridgett says, almost sadly. “I see you and Stephan together, and I know that you two were meant to be with each other forever. You’re so lucky.”

  “That’s funny considering I think the same thing when I look at you and Alec.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “That is so not funny.”

  “Maybe not, but it’s true.”

  “We are too different to be together,” she says. “We fight way too much.”

  This makes me laugh — hard. “Have you been around Stephan and me? Seriously. We fight. A lot. I don’t think it’s possible for two people to get along all the time.”

  “Well, like I’ve told you before, Alec will just break my heart.”

  “But isn’t it worth taking a chance? What if he doesn’t break your heart? And what if you’re too chicken to find out. Will you be saying what if the rest of your life?” I ask her. “Do you remember before Stephan and me started dating? I was contemplating whether I wanted to be with him or not, and you told me ‘Heartbreak is a part of life. Take it from somebody who recently got their heart broken. Even though Martin was a total jerk I wouldn’t take back one second of it.’ Do you remember saying that to me?”

  “I do,” she answers. “But it’s different.”

  “Is it different because it’s you?” I ask.

  Bridgett sits there just looking at me. I can tell she doesn’t know how to respond to what I said.

  “Just go for it.” I hope she takes my advice… No, it’s not my advice. It’s her advice.

  “What if he cheats on me?”

  “Then I will kill him,” I say with a smile. Nobody will hurt my sister, and get away with it. Not even my best friend.

  Bridgett laughs.

  “Now, get your tiny little ass over there and kiss him.” I push her out of the seat, and she stands up. I can tell she’s really considering what I said.

  “Fine.”

  I watch Bridgett walk over to Alec. I’m about ninety percent sure she’s going to chicken out, but she doesn’t. She pulls Alec to her lips and kisses him… And not just a kiss. I mean, there is tongue and all.

  Everybody on the camera crew and security team applauds them. Soon Mona, Stephan, and I join in. But they don’t stop kissing. Alec just flips us all off and deepens the kiss.

  Finally.

  3:13 PM

  This is disturbing.

  “This is disturbing,” Mona says.

  We just got back from swimming, and now Bridgett is sitting in Alec’s lap. She’s running her fingers through his hair. Part of me is thrilled. I’ve never seen Alec this happy before… But the other part of me is disturbed. That’s my sister, and that is my best friend. But still, I’m mostly thrilled. They belong together. I just hope it lasts.

  “Are they going to come up for air?” Stephan asks.

  “You are one to talk. You and Scarlett are like the worst. When you kiss, I feel like I need to wash out my eyeballs, it’s so dirty.” She turns her attention back to Alec and Bridgett. “I’m so jealous. I want a boyfriend.”

  “You’ve got plenty of time,” I tell her.

  “Says the girl who got married at nineteen.”

  “Hey — that was totally a spur of the moment thing. I actually didn’t plan on getting married before I was like twenty-five or thirty. You’re young. You should enjoy life.”

  “I do enjoy life,” she says. “I would just enjoy life a lot more with a boyfriend.”

  “You should make a list,” I tell her. “Things you want to do before getting in a relationship… What is it that you want out of life? What is your dream?”

  “I’ve always wanted to be an actress.”

  I think about the time Stephan told me that she was a really good actress. Or liar. Whatever. I have a feeling with her it’s one and the same. “I think it’s a good choice for you. Now I’m a good example for you. I’m married, but I hardly have any time to spend with my husband because I’m always doing something else. You should get to the point in your career where you can at least step back and take a honeymoon. Stephan and I still haven’t had any alone time since we got married. I want a freaking honeymoon.”

  “I second that,” Stephan says. “I really want a honeymoon.”

  “Ew.” Mona crinkles her nose in disgust. “I get what you’re saying. But I’m not saying I want a husband. I just want a boyfriend. You know, somebody I can have fun with. It has been way too long since I’ve had sex…”

  Now it’s Stephan turn to be grossed out. “You’re my sister. You should never say things like that in front of me.”

  “Look at the two of you — getting along.” I smile proudly. “This is a happy moment for me.”

  “I’m pretty sure my stepbrother is in love with you, and has been since like kindergarten,” Stephan says to Mona. “I bet he’s going crazy in Hope without you.”

  Mona’s face goes white for a moment. “Well, Ethan has never made his feelings known to me.”

  “It’s pretty obvious.”

  “How is he doing?” I ask. “I haven’t talked to him since we got here.”

  Yep. I’m a bad friend. And a bad sister. And a bad aunt. I’ve neglected to call anybody that matters. I feel bad, even though it’s not my fault I have zero time.

  “He’s good. I think he’s going to fly out to hang out sometime soon,” he answers.

  “Ethan is coming here?” Mona’s voice goes up an octave as she asks.

  Hmm… Maybe the feeling is mutual.

  How weird would it be if Stephan’s half-sister started dating his stepbrother? I guess technically they aren’t related, so there isn’t anything wrong with it, but it’s still very weird.

  “Are you coming to Thanksg
iving?” I ask Mona.

  She turns to Stephan. “I don’t know. Does your mom mind? I am the other child…”

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “Stephan, you haven’t told your mom yet?” I ask. “What are you thinking? What if somebody tells her before you?”

  “I just don’t know how to approach the topic. I can’t just call her and be like ‘hey Mom, what’s up? Oh by the way, Mona is my sister from another mother.’ This is something I should probably tell her in person,” he says. “I am going to fly to Hope on Tuesday and come back Wednesday. I’ll tell her while I’m there.”

  I’m jealous. I want to go to Hope. I want to see my niece and my sister.

  Thanksgiving cannot get here fast enough.

  8:11 PM

  Sleep… Sort of… Okay, totally not.

  Stephan and I go to bed early to get some sleep.

  Ha. Right. Like we’re going to sleep.

  The second our bedroom door shuts, Stephan pins me against the closed door and starts kissing me hard and fast.

  “I thought you were tired,” I joke, as he starts kissing my neck.

  “I’ve been waiting to do this all day.” His eyes are hungry as he pulls my sundress over my head. I have on my bikini under my clothes. “By the way, this bikini is fucking hot. I can’t wait to take it off.”

  And he doesn’t wait. He pulls the string, taking off my top, and does the same to my bottoms. He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks us over to the bed and throws me down.

  “Your turn to take your clothes off.” I bite my lip in anticipation.

  He takes off his shirt and slowly pulls down his swimming shorts. When he does, I can see just how bad he wants me.

  “Speaking of hot…” My thoughts are cut off when Stephan climbs on top of me and starts teasing me with his soft, warm kisses. But with him, kissing is never enough. One kiss — one touch… it’s all it takes for me to become putty in his hands. And nobody but Stephan can do this to me.