Good Girls Stay Quiet

by Jo Cassidy

  Dalton squeezed Brendon’s shoulder. "I'll let you two talk." He wrapped an arm around me and I gently side-hugged him back. "Don't stop practicing the guitar now that you have a piano."

  "I won't," I said with a forced smile. I wouldn't be using any instrument ever again.

  I turned to Brendon. Brendon. My heart hurt at the pain in his eyes. It wasn't only about my leaving. I could see the worry there, too, for my safety.

  Brendon’s heartbreaking gaze landed on me as he swept me into his arms and I melted into him. "Please, let me say something." He held me close, his arms so strong and steady. "Let me go to the police."

  "No." I pulled back enough so I could look him in the eyes. "I'm going to be fine. This is good for everyone." Even though I wanted Brendon to remain in my life, if staying with Daddy protected him and my friends, then I’d do it. Once we moved, I could figure another way out and maybe back into Brendon’s life.

  His eyes snapped behind me, probably to where Daddy stood. I didn’t want to turn around to see Daddy’s expression. It would ruin my last moments with Brendon.

  "Is it? Will it be okay for you, Cora? You think about everyone but yourself."

  "Is that a bad thing?"

  His body tensed. "In this case, yes."

  I lowered my arms and took a step back. "I'll be alright. Daddy found a new job and we'll relocate and . . .”

  He pointed a shaking finger behind me. "You really think he got a new job? He's just trying to get you out of here. He doesn't want you to be happy."

  It was like Brendon could see right through our facade.

  "Yes, he does." I folded my arms. Really, everything Daddy had done for me was for my happiness. He'd taken me out of the foster care system and given me a home. A stable home. He'd loved me, protected me, and provided for me. It hadn’t always been easy, but before I’d lost my journal, things were fine. We just needed to get back to that. "I had a rough childhood. He's just looking out for me."

  Brendon furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? What happened to you as a child?"

  "I think it's time for you to leave," Daddy said, suddenly right behind me. I was surprised I didn’t feel him.

  Everyone else had gone. Brendon gave Daddy a weird look and then turned to me, his voice low so only I could hear. "Remember that you’re stronger than him. You’re brave, Cora." Brendon wrapped me in his arms and whispered. "I'll come by tonight." He slipped something into my pocket. "Here's another phone just in case. The other one stopped working."

  Because I had smashed it into a million pieces. "Don't come." I wouldn't be in my room. The basement was where I'd be until we moved. I pushed out of Brendon's arms. "Thanks for coming to my party.” I swallowed down the tremble in my throat and blinked away the tears. “Hope you have a nice life." I stepped far away from him, creating a large distance like the first night we met.

  Pain and worry rushed to Brendon's eyes again. He shot Daddy a glare before he stormed off down the street, his fists clenched at his sides.

  Daddy placed the last dish in the cupboard and closed it. He’d made me sit at the table the entire time he cleaned.

  I did as told, waiting for him to finish. The whole time I had to sit and think about all the things he would do to me – how he’d torture me. Were we really going to move to another state? Or was my new home going to be six feet under? I’d never thought him capable of killing me, but after his reference to using carbon monoxide poisoning on my friends, now I knew there was a possibility he could snap in the heat of the moment.

  I'd ruined everything. All because of a journal. All because I couldn't keep my feelings to myself. I'd let everyone down, especially Daddy. I'd hurt him after everything he'd done for me.

  But I didn’t want him to punish me. I didn’t deserve it. Was Brendon right? Did I need to think about myself for once?

  "Stand." He stared down at me, the storms in his eyes wild and tumultuous.

  I wanted to argue but did as told. He clutched my arm and yanked me down the hall. The basement. Just like I thought. I'd spend the week there until Daddy released me to move. Would he pack my things? Were we taking anything with us? Or would everything be left behind? Or just my stuff left behind.

  It might not be needed in the future.

  I needed to stand up to him. Stand up for myself. Did I have the strength to overpower him?

  Daddy threw me onto the floor of my bedroom.

  My fingers gripped the carpet. "Not the basement?"

  He clenched his fists. "After the scene you caused?" He scoffed. "I don't think so. Too many people have been sniffing around and asking questions. You'll stay in here until we move. You'll eat, stay clean, and be a good little girl. I'll deal with your punishment when we're free of this place."

  "What people?"

  "I've had men calling me, Cora. A counselor from your school. Another man who won't identify himself. All asking about you."

  Another man? The perv man, as Jenna had labeled him. Why was he calling? I had hoped Mr. Mendoza wouldn't talk to Daddy again, but I wasn't surprised he did.

  "Why wait?" I eyed Noah on the bed, wanting his comfort.

  He stepped farther into the room, towering over me. "It’ll be too suspicious if we up and leave overnight. Because of you, we must pretend like we're happy and everything is fine. Pretend like you didn't put our family in jeopardy."

  "I'm sorry, Daddy." I got on my knees, grabbed Noah from the bed, and wrapped him in my arms.

  "Sorry?" He put his hand on his belt, wanting to rip it off, but he stopped himself. "All I wanted to do was make you happy. I provided for you, gave you a life you never had, and you betrayed me."

  I clung to Noah. "No, Daddy, I . . .”

  "Enough." He put his hands on his head, his stiff hair crinkling under his fingers. "Enough lies, Cora. You kept a journal? And someone stole it?" He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

  I slowly nodded.

  "What did you write in there?" The storms raged, whipping and fierce. Uncontrollable.

  "Just normal teenage girl stuff." My stomach clenched and I held in the bile that wanted to escape. I had been way too careless. "About school and Jenna."

  Daddy ripped Noah from my grasp. "I said don't lie to me. You wouldn't be so worried about it being stolen if it was little girl stuff."

  "I needed an outlet!" The words flew from my mouth, smacking into Daddy.

  He stumbled back like he had been hit. "An outlet? For what? All the happiness and comfort I've provided you?"

  "I . . .” What could I say? He'd never believe my lies. The truth would hurt him.

  "Who took it, Cora?" Daddy asked, clutching Noah in his hands.

  "How did I get dragged into this?" Noah asked through clenched teeth. He was in pain, and I couldn't stop it.

  "I'm so sorry," I whispered to Noah.

  Daddy cackled, the sound sending prickles through my skin. "You're sorry? Who took the journal, Cora?"

  I licked my lips. "I don't know. I've been trying to figure it out, but there aren't many options. I don't have a lot of people in my life."

  Daddy pointed Noah at the door. "Then who were all those friends of yours at your party?"

  "They're just students at my school."

  "Oh, really? Then why do they know more about you than I do? Why were they crying about you moving?"

  "Only Jenna cried." I threw up my hands. "She'd cry at anything."

  He shook Noah at me. "And Brendon? Your boyfriend."

  I stood, my fists clenched at my sides. "He's not my boyfriend. We only told Jenna that so she'd stop asking to hang out with me."

  The gray clouds in his eyes somehow darkened. "Why would he agree to that, Cora? What does he know?"

  My jaw tensed. "Nothing, Daddy. I told him I didn't want to hang out with Jenna, so he agreed to say he was my boyfriend to keep her away." The lies were intertwining, creating too large of a web. Everything was getting crossed and confusing.

  "No tee
nage boy would agree to that without wanting something in return."

  "He didn't. He's nice, Daddy. He was just being kind. He wanted nothing in return."

  He laughed, staring up at the ceiling and shaking his head. "You're so naive, Cora. Of course he wants something. I've seen the way he looks at you!" He tossed Noah on the ground and seized me by the arms. "What have you done with him?"

  Heat flared in my cheeks and neck. "Done with him? Daddy! Nothing!"

  He shook me. "I said no lies. I saw what Jenna bought you and the necklace Brendon gave you. I saw the way you hugged. Did you kiss as well? Did he touch you anywhere he's not supposed to?"

  "No!" I screamed. If Daddy hadn’t been gripping me, I would have crossed my arms over my chest. "That hug you saw was the first one. He was just wishing me a Happy Birthday." If Daddy found out about the kisses, oh, I didn't even want to think about what would happen.

  "He looked at you with . . ." He growled, a war raging in his eyes. "He's infatuated with you." He shook me again. "Did you have sex?"

  The heat erupted. My skin was on fire. "Daddy! How could you ask such a thing? You told me to not let boys touch me like that."

  He raised his fist as if to strike me. I stared straight into his eyes and waited for the pain. For his hard fist to connect with my bony face. If he wanted to hurt me, he’d have to see me watching. I wouldn’t cower away this time.

  With a shaky breath, he lowered his hand. He let go of me, picked Noah up off the floor, and went to the door. "Well. We'll have to go to a doctor to make sure you're still a virgin. I know a guy who won't ask questions." He rested his hand on the door knob. "We'll go next week. For now, you're staying in this room until we move. You only come out when I say you can."

  He slammed the door and locked it.

  He still had Noah with him.

  Leaving me all alone in my room.

  Chapter 36

  After crying for a few hours, I finally forced myself from my bed and over to the closet. Using my backpack, I stuffed a couple dozen journals inside, which didn’t leave too many left. After tonight, I’d just need to make one more trip, and then all the journals would be destroyed. Except for the one the blackmailer had.

  I'd created a larger hole in the closet and hoped Daddy wouldn't notice. But it would be better for him to find the empty hole than a stranger to find all my journals. If Daddy was caught, he’d find a way to torture me, even from prison. He’d find a way to hurt my friends. I needed to protect them.

  I'd just zipped the backpack closed when a knock sounded on my window. I quickly put my hair in a braid and rested it over my right shoulder.

  Brendon stood on the other side of the window. He had changed into his Wonder Woman shirt.

  I slid open the window. "I told you not to come."

  "I had to see you again." His tone was gentle. Kind. "To make sure you were okay. Your father looked really upset when I left."

  I started to close the window.

  "Please, Cora. Don't shut me out."

  His eyes were so different than Daddy's. There were no storms. No anger or hatred. They held something else – something I'd never seen before. I had no idea what it was. Daddy had said love, but that was impossible. Daddy loved me, and I'd never seen that look in his eyes before.

  I wanted to shut the window, but for some stupid reason, I found myself removing the bar and helping him into my room. It took a while for him to squeeze between the bars. One of the other bars came loose in the process. Since we were moving, I didn't care.

  Brendon stared down at my full backpack on the floor. "Are you going somewhere?"

  "I have to destroy the rest of my journals."

  "I can do it for you so you don't have to leave. I'll bring your backpack back when I'm done."

  "No!" I slapped my hand over my mouth. I waited as the seconds ticked by, hoping Daddy hadn't heard me. When I was certain he hadn't, I lowered my hand. "I'm sorry, Brendon, but I have to do it myself. I won't be satisfied until I see them burn." Plus, I wasn't sure if I could fully trust him. I wanted to so badly, but people were deceiving.

  He furrowed his brow. "I understand. But I'm going with you."

  I rocked on my heels. He’d already risked too much. "I have to do this alone." My hand wrapped around the pendant on the necklace he’d given me.

  "No." He stepped toward me. "There's still a creepy guy out there who's following you. Plus, you have a blackmailer. There's no way I'm letting you go alone." He took another step, closing the distance between us. He placed his hand on my cheek. It was so soft and warm, and I found myself leaning into it. "Please let me come with you. I know you can take care of yourself, but I make the best sidekick."

  I had no idea what he was talking about, but those eyes of his were going to be the death of me. How could one person have so much emotion behind their eyes?

  Daddy did – but it was so different. His were storms. Unending and unwavering.

  Brendon's held concern and loyalty. Compassion.

  Or was I wrong? He was my first encounter with a boy. Maybe I was just being stupid and irrational. Letting hormones take over my life.

  "Please, Cora," he whispered.

  I moved the pendant back and forth on the chain. My eyes went to his lips as my heart pounded. Heat rushed everywhere, consuming me. Hormones. That was all it was. It meant nothing. Brendon meant nothing to me.

  He couldn't.

  I couldn't.

  Nothing made sense any more.

  I pushed away from him and sat down on my bed, putting my hands over my face. Everything was out of control, and I had no idea what to do.

  I could run. Away from it all. From everyone and everything. But I had nothing. I couldn't take care of myself. And Daddy would hurt my friends if I did.

  Daddy would take care of me. I'd made him mad, but I had years to make it up to him. We could move somewhere secluded like he wanted and I could go back to being the best daughter. I could cook for him and take care of him. He'd protect me and provide for me.

  I wouldn't be able to go out into the world again, but was that such a bad thing? People were bad. I couldn't trust them. They'd take advantage of me. Use me.

  Not like Daddy.

  Lowering my hands, I glanced over at Brendon, who had sat down next to me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. Letting out a deep breath, I rested my head on his shoulder.

  Brendon had never taken advantage of me. He'd been kind and caring. He'd done what I wanted to do, even though he wanted to go to the police. Brendon didn't even know the whole truth. If he did, he'd turn Daddy in, and that would be the end of my life.

  "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "We'll get rid of all your journals so you can breathe easy and not have anyone blackmailing you."

  "But we're moving."

  He rubbed my arm. "I know. That part really sucks."

  "I'll never be able to talk to you again." I sniffed. "I'm actually sad about that."

  Brendon chuckled, moving his body up and down. "It's nice to know you care."

  I looked up at him. "I do care. You've been so nice to me."

  He placed his hand on my cheek. "I care about you." He swallowed. "I like you. A lot." He leaned his forehead against mine. "I'm going to miss you."

  "I'll miss you, too. You've been a good friend."

  He stiffened. "Friend, huh? That's it?" He lowered his hand, and I instantly wanted it back.

  "I don't know anything about having relationships," I whispered. "But I do know I've enjoyed being around you." Heat rushed to my cheeks. "And the kisses were nice."

  He smirked. "Yes, they were." Softly placing his finger under my chin, he lifted it so our eyes were level. "I'll always remember you, Cora Snow. If you ever need something, someone, you can call me."

  My eyes went back to his lips and the freckle in the corner. Was it just hormones? Or something more? We were so young, and I was so inexperienced.

  Brendon leaned in and paused,
waiting to see my reaction. When I didn’t back away, he pressed his lips to mine. At first it was soft, just like our other kisses. But then he pulled me against his body and opened his mouth. His lips moved all over mine, his tongue sneaking into my mouth.

  His hands moved up and down my back, faster and harder. It hurt against my wounds that were still healing. Wounds he didn't know about.

  I arched my back to relieve some pressure, but that somehow heated him. He lifted me into his lap, kissing my neck and cheeks. His hands wandered over my back and sides, exploring my body.

  Was this what Daddy had talked about? What a boy would want and do to me? Was Brendon just using me? Did he expect something more from me?

  A small moan escaped his mouth, and I pushed away from him, stumbling back until I was on the floor.

  "Cora." He reached down for me, but I scrambled away.

  "Don't touch me," I said between pants of breath.

  He creased his eyebrows. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

  "Is this what you had planned all along?" Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes. "Were you just using me?" My hands tightened into fists.

  "What? No. I like you, Cora. I thought you liked me too." He took a step toward me, so I scooted away from him. With a deep breath, he stepped back. "I'm not going to hurt you."

  "What were you going to do to me?" The tears fell down my cheeks as my body shook.

  "Do to you?" Brendon ran his fingers through his hair. "Nothing. I mean, yeah, I enjoyed kissing you, but I wouldn't have pushed for more if you hadn't indicated you wanted more."

  My cheeks flared. "I never said I wanted more."

  He pulled his shirt down. I hadn't noticed it had ridden up through the whole ordeal.

  "You arched your body into mine. That's kind of a girl's way of saying she wants more."

  I hurried to my feet and glared at him. "You were hurting my back."

  "What?" Worry flooded into his eyes, and he looked like he wanted to move toward me, but he stayed in place. "Did he hurt you again?"

  I pointed my finger at him. "Leave Daddy out of this."