“Where would a bathtub go? There’s hardly room to swing a cat in my apartment!” Alex laughed.
“It’s certainly cozy,” Oscar said kindly, sugarcoating the fact that she lived in a shoe box. “But you’re doing it. You’re following your dream, and I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Oscar.”
“I know I didn’t make things easy for you,” Oscar noted sadly, looking down into his drink with despondent eyes.
“You had your reasons for what you did.”
“I ruined your graduation.”
“You’re giving yourself too much credit,” Alex teased. “You maybe made it more dramatic, but ruined… nah.”
“Fair enough.” Oscar smiled at her response and had some more of his whiskey.
Alex had some of her hot chocolate, loving how it tasted warm and sweet. Outside a few snowflakes began to descend on the city, dancing around in the bitter wind. Alex watched them through the window, mesmerized by their dance.
“Do you ever miss home?” Oscar asked her as she watched the snow.
“Sometimes,” she admitted. But as she said the words, she knew she didn’t miss home all that much. She missed the idea of home, or rather the memory of what had been. She missed the old home her family used to live in, nestled in a quiet street with great big trees lining the backyard.
She missed Christmases there, when her father would always bring home two fir trees, insisting that he couldn’t pick between them. Two trees meant that both Alex and Andy could decorate their own way, and ultimately, when their trees were complete, they’d ask their father to judge a winner, but he always insisted that he couldn’t pick between them, that they were both so wonderful.
Alex missed that life. She didn’t miss the trailer, not really. It had never felt like home. Living there felt like some cruel joke where she was constantly waiting for the punch line, for someone to knock on the thin front door and explain that actually their old life was still waiting for them, that they didn’t have to stay there.
“I’m going back home for Christmas,” Alex informed Oscar. The thought of going back to Woodsdale filled her with trepidation, but she knew that she couldn’t keep running from her past.
“That will be nice.” Oscar smiled.
“You’ll be in Boston?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I was so eager to get away from home when I went to Princeton. Keen to make a fresh start and distance myself from all my problems. But my plans backfired, as all my problems just followed me there.”
“Running always seems easier, but in the long term it’s better to confront things head on,” Alex commented sagely.
“You sound like my therapist.” Oscar smirked.
“He sounds wise.”
“It’s a woman.”
“Makes sense if they’re smart,” Alex quipped, sticking her tongue out.
“I know ice skating didn’t pan out,” Oscar said after draining the last of his drink. “But if the snow picks up, we could do snow angels and make snowmen? That’s really more my sort of holiday activity speed.”
“I didn’t have you pegged for a snow angels kind of guy?” Alex laughed.
“Well, mine are more snow devils, but that doesn’t sound nearly as appealing.” Oscar smiled, that familiar mischievous smile that Alex used to dream about.
“There’s a darkness in you, Oscar, but I like it,” Alex told him sincerely.
“Thanks, I wish I could learn to like it.” Oscar shrugged dismissively.
“You will.” Alex smiled. “And even if you don’t, you’ll find someone who likes it enough for both of you.”
“That’s it. There’s been too much soft talk. We need to thrash it out with a snowball fight!” Oscar declared, pulling on his coat.
“Game on, Deloitte!” Alex cried eagerly, also getting up. “Game on!”
****
The following day when they awoke, New York City had been transformed into a winter wonderland. As they’d slept, Jack Frost had coated the city in almost a foot of crisp, white snow, and Oscar could barely contain his excitement when he saw it.
“Snow!” he declared, pulling Alex out of her bed. “Snow!”
“So I see,” Alex replied, sleepily rubbing her eyes.
“We are so having a snowball fight! And making snow angels and snowmen!” Oscar was speaking quickly as he pulled on his clothes, steeling himself against the forthcoming cold. Alex smiled as she watched him. It had been a while since she’d seen him so animated about something. He was brimming with childlike excitement, and it was contagious.
They made their way to Central Park and joined the other winter revelers who were already eagerly throwing balls of snow at one another.
There in the famous park, they played together in the snow until the sun drew low in the sky. They lay down side by side and made snow angels, though Oscar would always add horns to his own imprint to transform it into a snow devil.
They threw snowballs at each other and ran and laughed until their lungs hurt. It was a day dedicated to complete, carefree abandon. A day without rules, without limits and without the burdens of adulthood.
“That hurt!” Alex protested as Oscar hurled yet another snowball at her.
“I thought you were going to complain that it was yellow,” he teased.
Pouting, Alex quickly scrunched up a ball of snow of her own and tossed it at him, but he was too quick, and her ball landed with a soft thud on the snowy ground.
“I’m like a ninja!” he yelled playfully.
“You’re not masculine enough; you’re more like a ballerina,” Alex joked.
“At least one of us is graceful,” Oscar declared as his comment was accompanied by yet another snowball that connected with the side of Alex’s head.
“Ow!” she yelled, putting her hand up to her head. “They can really hurt you know. They’re like solid ice!”
As she held her head, she realized how wet her hair was. Through their hours of playing in the snow, she’d become numb in her extremities, but there was no denying that her hair was soaking wet, as were most of her clothes.
“Oscar, we need to go, my clothes are soaked,” she called over to him.
Oscar raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a mischievous grin. “So you want me to take you home and get you out of those wet clothes?” he asked cheekily.
“Oscar!”
“Sorry, heard that one before.” He winked.
“Seriously, I’m soaked.”
“Okay, okay.” Oscar came over but couldn’t resist releasing one final snowball right on top of her head.
“Oscar!” Alex shrieked as the cold wet snow seeped down the back of her neck.
“I’m done now.” He smiled.
“You better be.”
They walked arm in arm out of the park as the last few stragglers made the most of the fading light and continued to play.
“Thanks for doing this with me today,” Oscar said sincerely as they came out of the park.
“No problem, it was fun.”
“For me, lame as it sounds, it was a dream come true.”
“It was?” Alex asked, surprised.
“Yeah, every kid dreams of spending a snow day in Central Park. So, yeah, thanks for today.”
“Glad to be of assistance.” Alex smiled. Then as they walked by a souvenir shop, she spotted something that made her stop.
“Since this is a day where dreams come true, we should immortalize it,” she declared.
“I’m not getting a tattoo,” Oscar quipped.
“No, silly, a picture.” Alex pointed at a photo booth located inside the store.
“Sounds good.” Oscar began pulling her over to the booth. They settled inside, put their money in, and posed in front of the digital screen.
“You sure you don’t mind being photographed looking all drowned in style?” Oscar joked as she positioned herself on his lap.
“I look good. You’re just jealous.” Alex laughed.
“Whatever.” Oscar pressed the main button to start the booth, and they initially smiled into the camera. Then before the second click came, Oscar cheekily licked Alex’s face, causing her to turn to him in protest, and the fourth image was of Oscar laughing madly while Alex tried to lick him back, but he held her at bay.
It was a moment of careless fun caught forever on camera. As they waited for the photographs to print, Oscar suddenly looked sad.
“I can’t believe I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“I know.” Alex suddenly felt her own euphoria drain from her and pool upon the floor around them.
“But we’ve still got one more night!” Oscar said excitedly.
“That we have.” Alex nodded. “And the activity tonight is gentleman’s choice.”
“How about the movies again?” Oscar suggested. “But this time, you can pick what we see.”
“Really? You’d let me choose?” Alex gasped in dramatic surprise.
“I decided your taste can’t be that bad. After all, you did pick me once.” He grinned cheekily at her.
A short whirring noise alerted them to their forthcoming pictures, which dropped out of the machine in a clean solid line. Alex picked them up, they were still warm, and looked down at the images of her and Oscar, smiling and messing about.
“They don’t look so bad,” Oscar commented from over her shoulder.
“I like them.” Alex smiled fondly at the images.
“Will you keep them under your pillow and kiss me every night?” Oscar teased.
“Actually I was thinking of throwing darts at your picture.” Alex stuck her tongue out at him.
“Sounds about right.” Oscar laughed, putting his arm around her as they walked out of the shop, back out into the cold air outside.
“So I’m thinking you should dry off before we go to the movies,” Oscar suggested, giving her a once-over.
“You know, I was thinking the same thing.” Alex laughed.
“I don’t want to be escorting a drowned rat around the city on my last night,” Oscar teased.
“Now you know how I feel.” Alex nudged him playfully, and he smiled.
****
Back at Grand Central station Alex looked tearfully at her departing friend, who was once more Boston bound.
“The week sure flew by,” Oscar noted sadly, looking down at his bag.
“I had a lot of fun.” Alex smiled, brushing away a stray tear with the back of her hand.
“Thank you for letting me come and stay with you. You didn’t have to.”
“Oscar, it was my pleasure.”
All around them people hurried past, desperate to catch their train, but Oscar was not nearly so eager to depart. A strange part of him sensed that this may be one of the last times he would see Alex.
“Maybe when I’m done with my teacher training, we could meet up again?” he suggested, though they both knew that wouldn’t happen. Whatever happened in the next stage of their lives they would only be pulled further apart. College had been their moment. There they had existed in a bubble of intense romance, virtually becoming a single entity. But in the real world, that level of intensity was impossible to sustain.
“Yes, that would be nice.” Alex smiled politely. But she knew Oscar would meet someone else, possibly on his teaching course and, in time, forget all about her. For him, Alexandra Heron would become nothing more than a fond, distant memory of a time long ago.
“I’m going to sort my life out,” Oscar clarified to her, his face serious.
“You already have,” she said softly, reaching out and touching his arm. “Over the summer, you fell to your darkest point, trying to kill yourself. And here we are, on the cusp of winter and already you’re talking of plans for the future and learning not to bottle up all your feelings about Olivia inside. Oscar, you’ve already come so far and done so well, I’m proud of you.”
Alex reached out and embraced him, once more inhaling his familiar scent, wanting to imprint the sensation on her mind so that she could recall it in his absence.
“Whatever I did, you can take credit for, because you inspired me to stop moping around and playing the victim. You reminded me that there’s a big world out there and that I need to get out and make something of myself in it,” Oscar said fondly as they hugged.
Becoming more tearful, Alex pulled away from him.
“You were so rude to me when we first met,” she said, laughing at the memory.
“Me? Rude? No,” Oscar said cheekily.
“You were. We were outside that office, waiting to be told off, and you were rude to me.”
“Yet I still managed to lure you into my irresistible web of charm.” Oscar winked.
“You’re terrible, you know that?” Alex laughed.
The time of Oscar’s train drew closer, and he glanced up anxiously at the main clock and sighed.
“I really need to be making tracks,” he told her sadly.
“I know.” Alex bit her lip and looked down at the floor. She didn’t want him to leave, but she knew that he had to. He had to go out and follow his own dream as she had chased after hers.
“Any idea where you’ll teach when you’re qualified?” she asked hopefully, thinking he might respond with New York.
“No idea.” Oscar shrugged dramatically. “But it’s a big wide world out there, and I hear that Europe can be pretty nice. I could see me in London.” He flashed her his cheeky smile once more, and she had to admit that she could indeed see him in London. He’d blend in with the assortment of eccentric, bohemian personalities there.
“I’ll miss you.” Alex threw her arms around him once more and felt him lean and smell her hair. She smelt of strawberries.
“I’ll miss you too,” he confirmed, his own eyes misting over. “But I don’t want this to be some big dramatic goodbye.” He pulled away from her and rubbed at his eyes. It pleased Alex to see that they were shining more than they had been when he arrived. Some of his old vitality had since returned, and he looked renewed.
“I want you to promise me that you’ll keep making the most of the city, not sit in your tiny apartment all the time?” Oscar said in a mock stern voice.
“I promise.” Alex smiled, nodding.
“Because if I read about some great show or exhibit that’s happening here, I’ll be emailing you the details and expecting a full report on it!”
“Wow, you already sound like a teacher,” Alex said playfully.
“Well, one has to be the part.” Oscar smiled. He glanced again at the clock and threw his bag over his shoulder.
“Heron, it’s been swell, but I really do have to go now,” he explained, his voice pinched with regret.
“Have a safe journey home,” Alex told him, her voice small.
“Here’s looking at you, kid,” Oscar quoted one of his favorite films before kissing Alex on the cheek and joining the throng of people eagerly walking towards their departure gate.
Alex kept her eyes on him until he disappeared from sight, tears now streaming freely down her face, but she didn’t care. She thought he might turn back for one last wave, but he didn’t, and after a few moments he was gone, and she was once more alone in the city that never sleeps.
Saddened, she started to trudge back to the exit, back to her small apartment. From her pocket she pulled out the photo booth pictures they had taken earlier in the week when they were both soaked from the snow, and she smiled fondly at them. No matter what happened, no matter where her future led her, Oscar Deloitte would forever remain one of the great loves of her life, and she took some comfort from that.
Part Four
“So you’re going home for Christmas?” Jeff asked as he looked down into Alex’s cubicle.
“Yeah.” Alex nodded, the mere thought of going back to Woodsdale making her stomach go into a frenzied spin cycle.
“Always nice to go home for the holidays.” Jeff smiled kindly, though it was hard to take him seriously when he was wearing a S
anta hat. It was the last day of work before the offices closed for the holiday season, and everyone was in high spirits.
There were decorations everywhere, and people had brought in mince pies, yule logs and cookies. It was only mid-morning, and Alex was already fit to burst from politely eating all the festive treats she had been offered. Her colleagues were finally warming to her, as evidenced by the array of greeting cards that adorned her cubicle.
Christmas always managed to bring out the best in people, and her office had been no exception.
“What will you be doing over Christmas?” Alex asked politely, sipping at the eggnog she’d previously been handed.
“I’m heading home too,” Jeff said a little wearily. “Back to Connecticut.”
“Well, have fun.” Alex smiled, finding it difficult to imagine her manager anywhere other than the city. He wore slick suits and walked with an air of self-confidence, which in New York seemed commonplace, but anywhere else, like his hometown, he must seem arrogant and aloof. Would Alex also fail to fit in back in Woodsdale? Would her time away at Princeton and now the city have irrevocably marked her? Changed her from the small-town girl into something else, something the locals would find unrecognizable?
“Going back for the first time is always strange,” Jeff mused, noticing Alex’s distantly troubled look. “You find that while you may change, many places and people do not.” With those final parting words of wisdom, he raised his own glass of sickly sweet egg mixture and nodded at his young protégé before moving on to the next cubicle to carry on his managerial duties of making festive-related small talk with all employees.
Sighing, Alex looked out of the vast windows at the far end of the office and saw New York sparkling beyond. Ornate Christmas trees and rows upon rows of glittering lights had swept the city, as if everything had been sprinkled with fairy dust. Even the most drab building now appeared magical. It was intoxicating to walk through the city when it was illuminated like this, you could be forgiven for imagining that you were within some wondrous fairy tale. The lights and the whimsical atmosphere that accompanied them reminded Alex of the good in the world, of the potential for wonderful things to happen.
Living with Love (Lessons in Love) Page 10