In Search of Mr. Anonymous

by J B Glazer

  I think he knows this is a big revelation for me. “Now, what were you going to say?” I ask as I wipe away the one tear that’s managed to escape.

  He hesitates, and it’s as though he’s changed his mind. “I don’t like to share.”

  “OK. I thought that was more my style, but that’s fine.”

  “What I mean is that I’ve never wanted to share anything after Callie. Not the spotlight, not my successes, not my time, my victories or my failures. And certainly not my bed for more than a night. But then you came along.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone after her. But for the first time since our breakup, I’m open to sharing my life with someone else. Because being with you just makes things better. Like I said before, you make me want to be a better man. The kind of man you deserve.”

  I’m overwhelmed. I smile at him and this time the tears do fall. He pulls me close and whispers, “I don’t know what you’re doing to me. You’re like a drug. The more I have of you the more I want. Crave.”

  I know the feeling.

  “I want to be inside you. All the time.” And we begin the dance once more.

  Afterward I snuggle closer to him. Since I’ve slept alone for so long I never thought I could go to sleep touching someone else. But I love his warmth. My breathing becomes deep and even and I’m on the verge of sleep.

  “Ms. Coffee,” he says.

  I try to let out a sound but I’m too tired.

  “I could fall in love with you,” he whispers.

  I’ve already fallen.

  As though he’s read my mind he says, “I think I already have.”

  Phrases float around in my head. I hope I can remember them in the morning. As I fall asleep with a smile on my face, I have a strong suspicion that I will.

  Love

  Falling…

  Falling…

  Fallen.

  Pure bliss.

  Chapter 12

  There’s an incessant buzzing noise that fills my dreams. I turn over, attempting to shut it out. It doesn’t work. I pry my eyes open, which are heavy with sleep. I realize the noise is coming from my alarm clock. Oh. My. God. It’s eight twenty nine. I overslept. We overslept. Coffee Guy is sound asleep beside me.

  “Wake up! We’re late.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Eight thirty.”

  “Shit!”

  We both kick into overdrive, dashing around my small apartment. Luckily we showered yesterday, so I can make due this morning. But then I remember our last time together. Even though he wiped me down, his scent is still on me. To be honest I kind of like it. I quickly wash up, brush my teeth, and attempt to fix my unruly hair with a flat iron. Once I’m done in the bathroom he goes in, so I get dressed. I usually decide what I’m wearing the night before, but clearly I was occupied with other things. I eye my choices and throw on a chunky black sweater with leggings. The neckline is high enough to cover his punishment. Coffee Guy walks back into the room in the button down and pants he was wearing on Friday.

  “You ready?” I ask as I grab my appointment book.

  “Just one thing. I know this was only supposed to be a one-night thing. And then we made it a weekend thing. But you and me, I need us to be a thing. I need to see you again.”

  I breathe in a deep sigh of relief.

  “What’s your number?”

  I smile and take his phone. I punch in my number and hand it back to him.

  “Now will you tell me your name?”

  I shake my head.

  He looks exasperated and scrolls through his contacts. “It’s not under E.”

  He sees my confusion and then I remember that he thinks my name is Elsie.

  “You won’t find it there.”

  “Can you at least give me the first initial? I need to know what to look under to find you.”

  “I put it under ‘A’ for anonymous. You’ll find out my name when you call me,” I say coyly.

  “Maybe this will change your mind.” He grabs me and pulls me to him for a tantalizing kiss. If we weren’t running so late it would definitely lead to other things.

  “I think I still need convincing,” I tease him.

  “You drive a hard bargain.” He opens the door and we walk toward the elevator. “Thank you, Ms. Coffee for a glorious weekend. And for choosing me to have this adventure with.”

  “It was the best weekend I’ve ever had.”

  He pulls me into his arms. “Me too,” he whispers into my hair.

  We part when the elevator dings, signaling its arrival. The doors open and it’s almost full, but we manage to carve out a spot. He takes my hand and links his fingers with mine on the way down. I enjoy our last moments of togetherness. As soon as the doors open everyone is in a rush to get to work, including me.

  “Which way are you headed?” I ask.

  “Downtown.”

  “My office is just south of here or I’d offer you a lift.”

  We stand and face one another. I know I should say goodbye and get moving considering how late it is. But I can’t bring myself to say the words. The thought leaves a hollowness in my chest. My eyes fill with unshed tears, much to my embarrassment.

  “Hey,” he says, taking my face in his hands. “Why are you acting like this is goodbye? Our story is only just beginning.” He kisses me tenderly and pulls me against his chest. I close my eyes and focus on the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. As much as I love being in his arms, I have to get to work.

  I look into his eyes and say, “Let’s just call it goodbye…for now.”

  He takes my hands in his and brushes one last kiss on my lips. Our hands are still linked as he pulls away, our fingertips trailing as he puts more distance between us and the lobby door. He hails a cab and waves as it pulls away. I wait until his cab disappears around the corner before heading back toward the elevator. It’s the only way to access the parking garage level. I know I could’ve gotten off earlier, but I wanted to preserve our last few minutes together.

  As I pull out of my spot, I can’t help but think what a difference twenty-four hours can make. On Friday I was disenchanted about men and Trish’s bet. But then I met him. And by Saturday I knew this was more than just a fling. I never would have thought I could fall for someone in the span of a weekend. But I fell hard. It’s as though my world was a dull gray and now it’s filled with vivid colors. As I think about our time together, I can’t erase the smile from my face. I guess there’s no denying I’m happy to see the world in this new light. My future is full of possibilities and looks very bright indeed.

  My good mood is tested as I sit in traffic. Why are we not moving? This is why I always leave early—I hate wasting time. I scroll through my messages and have a few missed calls from Trish. As long as I’m stuck here, now is a good time to call her back. I may as well be productive.

  “Lucy!” she practically screams, her voice echoing in my car from my Bluetooth speaker. “You never checked in with me. I was worried about you. I thought maybe your coffee friend turned out to be some kind of psychopath.”

  I laugh. “I’m so sorry. We were just really busy.”

  “We? And all weekend?”

  “All weekend.”

  “OMG. Spill. Right now.”

  “I’d love to but I’m late for work. And it will take longer than the ten minutes I have left before I need to jump on a conference call. I can meet you for lunch or a drink after.”

  “Definitely drinks. I want details, Lucy.”

  We make plans and I hang up with a smile.

  It’s plastered to my face all day. Thoughts of him occupy my mind and it’s as though I’m floating through a dream. There’s a warm, happy glow emanating deep inside me. It’s not something I’m accustomed to. I swear it takes extra effort to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. Maybe that’s where the expression walking on air comes from. Or it could be that I’m in heaven, here on earth.

  At one point I’m humming
to myself while I type up an email. I generally don’t hum. But the notes from Buddy Vaughn are playing through my head like a record on repeat. Genevieve walks by and looks at me with a strange expression. I smile at her then click send, not bothering to reread my email like I usually do. I’m filled with nervous energy, so I check my appointment book again to make sure there’s nothing I’ve missed. It’s as though my brain isn’t fully functioning today. I’m not sure if it’s from lack of sleep or thoughts of him—likely both.

  Melanie kept texting me over the weekend to see how things were going. I told her I’d call her at noon with the details once Trish confirmed she could do drinks. Our status meeting ran long this morning, so I’m late calling her. I don’t have a lot of time and neither does she, so I keep our conversation short. I’m looking forward to meeting up with Trish after work when things won’t be so rushed.

  I manage to be productive through the afternoon though I’m distracted by my phone. I keep checking to see if I’ve received a text from him. Nothing yet. I’m a tiny bit disappointed, but I’m sure he’s busy at work. Five thirty comes around and I dash out of the office to meet Trish. I’m usually not one to willingly share details of my sexual escapades, not that there’s been many, but I’m dying to talk to someone about him. I picture him in my mind. Coffee Guy. Those dark eyes that could swallow me whole, his perfect lips, that toned body which seemed to fit so perfectly with mine. Then I picture him making love to me, the look on his face when he’s inside me, and a rush of heat pulsates between my legs. Stop, I tell myself. There will be plenty more time for that. The smile remains on my face as I think about a future with Coffee Guy.

  Chapter 13

  Melanie

  It’s just before noon on Monday. Our department meeting wrapped up late so I’m in a hurry to get back to my office. Mary, one of the Math teachers at the high school I work at, stops me. She’s a talker and I don’t have time to deal with her. She also likes to play matchmaker. Before I knew better I agreed to go out with her nephew. Big mistake. So now I tell her I don’t do blind dates. But she keeps trying. My phone buzzes and I anticipate it’s Lucy. Instead it’s a text from Brett, which is unusual. He never texts me during the day and especially so soon after we saw one another.

  “Sorry,” I say to Mary. “I need to deal with this. Parent issues.”

  At least he gave me an excuse to get out of talking to her. I glance at his text.

  Brett: started seeing someone recently. had the talk last nite & we r going exclusive. we’ll need 2 chill 4 awhile. sorry.

  Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. It pisses me off that he was seeing this girl when he came over the other night. Maybe that’s why he didn’t respond to my text right away. His conscience obviously didn’t win out. I debate whether or not to respond when I get another text. This time from Lucy.

  Lucy: Running late. Call you in 5.

  As long as I have a few extra minutes I decide I should text Brett back. I don’t want him to think I’m bitter. And I should keep a door open in case things don’t work out. What can I say? He’s good in bed.

  Me: Happy 4 u. but don’t ever want to be the other girl again.

  There. It says I’m glad you’ve found someone but don’t ever put me in a position where I’m the other woman. Nice but assertive. I head back to my office to eat my lunch but now I’ve lost my appetite. Brett was supposed to be my fallback. At least I’ll always have Lucy. She texted me she had an amazing weekend and would call me with details during lunch. She knows it’s the only break I have during the day. I’m a social worker and with all the issues kids have these days my schedule is full.

  My phone rings a few minutes later and it’s her. I attempt to make my voice sound chipper when I answer.

  “Hi. I’ve been waiting for your call.”

  “Sorry. My meeting ran a few minutes late.”

  “That’s OK. Spill.”

  “Where do I start? Remember that guy I used to run into at Starbucks? The one I had a crush on?”

  “Uh, huh.”

  “That’s who Trish picked. He happened to be at the same bar as us.”

  “Wow. That’s a coincidence.”

  “You forget who you’re talking to. I don’t believe in coincidences. Anyway, he took me to this jazz club because I was nervous about our arrangement.”

  “Wait. He knew about it?”

  “Yeah. Trish wasn’t so subtle. She told him the deal and how she picked him. He wanted to know what I thought, so I told him I’d agree to it as long as we kept things anonymous.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We never exchanged names or any personal details.”

  “OK. So get to the good stuff.”

  “We spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other. Then he came over and spent the night. Our chemistry was off-the-charts. He said he wanted to make it a weekend thing. So we did.”

  “Lucy Chalmers. You go girl! How was the sex?”

  “Amazing. I never knew it could be like that. At first I thought he was cocky, but the more I got to know him I realized it’s kind of a front. He’s sensitive and caring and everything I’ve ever wanted in a man and more. I told him about my history and he didn’t run. So I guess that’s a good sign.”

  “Wait. You told him about your past?”

  “Uh huh. I know, it’s crazy, right? I shared stuff with him I never tell anyone. Except you, of course.”

  “So this is more than just sex? It sounds as though you’re into him.” I cross the room to look out the window to see if Sandra, my next appointment, is approaching.

  “I am. I’m crazy about him. One hundred percent certifiably crazy.”

  “OMG. This is huge!” I can’t believe it.

  “Wait. I just got a weird text from you.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. I don’t want to be the other girl?”

  “Oh. That was meant for Brett. You texted right after him so I must’ve replied to you by mistake. I sent it before you called, but we have terrible WiFi. It must’ve just gone through.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Brett’s seeing someone and things are getting serious. So he wanted to warn me there won’t be any more late night booty calls. He was just over on Saturday night so I’m pissed. He was obviously seeing her then.”

  “I’m sorry. Why do guys do that?”

  “They want to keep their options open. I was his backburner.”

  “Huh?”

  “Nothing. Story of my life. I thought he was mine. But turns out I was his. Backburner, I mean.”

  “You OK?”

  “Yeah. Sorry to be such a downer. You were telling me about your amazing weekend. I’m so happy for you, Luce. I really am. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So what else were you going to say before we got sidetracked with talk of Brett?”

  “That’s it, really. He got my number and said he’d call me.”

  So this really is more. “Keep me posted. I’ve got a student coming any minute so gotta go. Love you.”

  “You too.”

  After we hang up I stare at my phone in disbelief. Lucy made it sound as though she was in love with the guy. Who knew she had it in her? I shake my head to clear it. I never thought I’d see the day. It’s just that Lucy doesn’t have an interest in men. Since we graduated she’s been focused on her career. I’ve tried to get her to date. But she always makes excuses. Back in college she dated a guy, Toby, but since him she hasn’t been with anyone serious. So to hear her gush about this guy is unexpected to say the least.

  I’m so happy for her. Of course I am. It’s just that this could change everything.

  Lucy’s always been my other half. I guess I never thought I’d have to share her. I remember when I found out my mom was pregnant with Rachel. Even though I wanted a sibling, I had mixed emotions. On the one hand I was going to be a big sister, an idea that was appealing in the abstract. But for so long it wa
s just me and my parents. I had their undivided attention. I never had to share anything, so that took some getting used to—realizing I would no longer be the center of their universe.

  And now, here I am again. I know I can’t expect things to stay the same forever. But the thing is, I always thought I’d go first. When I pictured my future, I guess I saw myself as the star with Lucy in the wings. And by that I mean I thought I’d be the one to fall for someone first, get engaged first, and eventually married with Lucy as my maid of honor. I know she’s only just met the guy, so I’m probably getting ahead of myself. But the way she was talking about him makes me think things will get serious. And fast. So where does that leave me? In the wings…again. God I sound like such a terrible person. I don’t think I am. It’s just that I need time to adjust.

  I always thought I was meant for the spotlight.

  Chapter 14

  Lucy

  Trish is already waiting when I arrive for our after work drinks. There’s a bottle of wine on the table, which she uncorks as I approach. She hands me a glass and holds up hers. “To one night stands,” she says. “Make that weekend-long. Cheers!” We clink glasses and I settle into my chair. “So tell me, how did one night turn into a weekend of reckless abandon?”

  I start from the beginning. I tell her about how I was nervous so we spent the night talking and getting to know each other. I tell her about the jazz club and him showing me a piece of himself he doesn’t let others see. I tell her how I opened up to him in ways I’ve never done with anyone else. Not even Melanie. I tell her he gave me the best compliment I’ve ever received: that he wants to be a better man for me. I tell her about how he told me he’s ready to share his life with me, something he’s never told anyone before. And how I’m ready to share mine with him. I talk and talk and realize I’ve been going on for almost an hour. When I’m done she just stares at me.

  “Wow. Just wow.”

  “I know.”

  We both take a sip and I pause to let all that I’ve said sink in.