Collin (A Forever Novel)

by Sandi Lynn

  “Of course we will, sweetheart. How fun!”

  Oh God. I sure hoped she didn’t think she was joining us.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Problem solved. My parents are on their way home and they’re stopping at the store to pick up the graham crackers.”

  “Your parents seem really amazing.” Amelia smiled.

  “They are. You’ll really like them. While we’re waiting, let’s go get that bonfire started.”

  We walked back down to the beach where my dad had put in a fire pit years ago. Memories of Hailey and me sitting by the bonfire began to flood my mind. The only difference was, this time, I didn’t care and it didn’t bother me. Once I got the fire going, I ran into the house and got the skewers and the marshmallows. I handed Amelia one and we both put them over the fire.

  “I haven’t done this in years.” She smiled as she looked at me.

  “It’s fun and it’s nice to share it with someone.”

  I decided that I was going to ask about the picture I saw of her and her boyfriend. I needed to know her story and I hoped that I wasn’t crossing the line.

  “When I was at your house earlier, I saw a picture on the table of you and a guy. Was that your boyfriend?”

  “I don’t talk about him,” she said as she looked away.

  “Our situations are different with the ones we lost, but my girlfriend of six years left me to study fashion in Italy.”

  “Totally different situations, Collin. You can’t even compare the two,” she said as she went to get up.

  I took hold of her wrist. “Don’t leave. I just asked a question. A simple yes or no would have been fine.”

  She sat back down and stared at me before speaking. “Yes, he was my boyfriend.”

  “I’m sorry about the accident, Amelia.”

  “Me too,” she said.

  We sat there in silence for a few minutes until I heard my mom and dad walking towards us.

  “Here you go, son. One box of graham crackers. Hello, Amelia. It’s good to see you again.” My dad smiled.

  “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Black. It’s good to see you too.”

  “Please, call us Connor and Ellery,” my mom spoke.

  “Would you like to join us?” Amelia asked.

  Oh my God, I couldn’t believe she just invited my parents to sit down. I looked at them and gave them the look.

  “As much as we’d love to, Amelia, Ellery and I are heading back to the city now.”

  “You’re leaving?” I asked.

  “Yes. We thought it was best to head back tonight. Don’t forget to lock up when you leave in the morning. I can expect you in the office around eight?” he asked.

  “No. I’ll be late. I’ve offered to drive Amelia back to NYU so she doesn’t have to take the bus. We’re leaving at seven.”

  “Ah, okay then. I’ll see you when you get there. Come straight to my office because we have to go over the proposal for the new building for Tricho Enterprises.”

  “I know, Dad, and I’ll be there.”

  “So you attend NYU?” my mom asked with a smile as she sat down.

  My dad lightly grabbed her arm and helped her up. “Come on, baby; leave them alone. You can talk to Amelia another time. I really want to get on the road.”

  “Oh. Fine, Connor,” she said with irritation. “It was nice to see you again, Amelia. You’ll have to have dinner with us at the penthouse sometime.”

  “Thank you, Ellery, and it was good to see you too.”

  My dad winked at me as he and Mom turned around and headed back to the house. I could tell I upset Amelia by asking about her boyfriend. That wasn’t my intention. I just wished she’d open up to me. I decided to tell her about Hailey. I didn’t know if it was such a good idea, but I was willing to take the chance. I put two marshmallows on my skewer and held it over the fire.

  “My ex-girlfriend, Hailey, and I had known each other since we were babies. My mom and her mom are best friends. We started dating each other when we were around sixteen and things became pretty serious. We both graduated from Columbia and she was offered an internship in Italy to study fashion. I was cool with that because I believed that our love was strong enough to withstand the long-distance relationship. She didn’t. She came to me one day before she left and told me that we weren’t meant to be and that long distance relationships don’t work. She said she was sorry, but it was time for her to move on and focus on her studies. She left two days earlier than planned and without as much as a goodbye.”

  “That’s really shitty of her to do that to you,” she said.

  “Yeah, it was really shitty. Wasn’t it?” I asked.

  “You must’ve been devastated.”

  “I was. I resorted to partying almost every night. I drank way too much alcohol and I—”

  I stopped what I was about to say because I didn’t want Amelia thinking poorly of me.

  “You slept with a lot of women, right?” she asked.

  I looked down in shame and I lightly nodded my head. She put her hand on mine. I was shocked, but I welcomed it.

  “Everybody handles their broken heart in their own way. It sounds like you tried to forget it, and I just shut everyone out of my life because I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “Sometimes we have to talk about the things that hurt us most in order to find some sense of peace.”

  She tilted her head and smiled at me. “I don’t like that you said that, but I know you’re right.”

  I smiled as I handed her two graham crackers and some chocolate. “Your marshmallows are done.”

  She made her s’more and she bit down into it. Some chocolate got on her cheek. I leaned over and took my thumb and wiped it away. She instantly brought her hand up to mine.

  “Sorry. You had some chocolate there.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  I removed my hand and told her that I’d be right back. I went into the house, grabbed a few napkins, a couple of glasses, and a bottle of wine. When I went back down to the beach, Amelia had gotten up and was leaving.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry, Collin. I have to go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Amelia, wait!” I exclaimed as I set down the glasses and wine.

  She kept walking and I caught with her. I stood in front of her and lightly took hold of her arms.

  “What did I do? What did I say? Please don’t go yet.”

  “You didn’t say or do anything, Collin. I just can’t do this with you. I’m sorry,” she said as she pushed me aside and continued walking.

  “Damn it, Amelia! I deserve an explanation!”

  She stopped walking and stood there for a second. Suddenly, she turned around. “You want an explanation? Fine, I’ll give you an explanation. I’ve known you now for two days. Only two days and I already feel guilty for spending time with you and having fun. I feel guilty because I should have been the one who died in that accident. Not my parents, not my sister, and certainly not Billy,” she yelled. “I don’t deserve to have fun or be happy!”

  My heart broke listening to her yell that across the beach. I slowly walked towards her, not knowing what she’d do. But she didn’t do anything but stand there. I approached her with caution and looked into her sad blue eyes and placed my hands gently on each side of her face.

  “You deserve to be happy. Don’t ever think you don’t. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that the accident wasn’t your fault. We can’t control fate, Amelia. You survived for a reason. Don’t ever forget that,” I said as I pulled her into a warm embrace.

  “They shouldn’t have died, Collin. They just shouldn’t have,” she began to cry.

  I held her tightly as I felt sorry for her. I could feel her pain and ache as she cried into my chest. As she began to stop crying, she looked up at me.

  “I’m so sorry for that,” she said.

  “Don’t apologize. Never apologize for the way you feel,�
�� I said.

  We stood there and stared into each other’s eyes. I wanted to fucking kiss her so bad, but not under these circumstances. I pulled away. It was the only thing I could do or else I would have kissed her and potentially could’ve ruined what little we had at the moment.

  “Can we go back to making s’mores?”

  “Can we order a pizza?” she said with a half-smile.

  I chuckled as I placed my forehead on hers. “Yeah. Pizza sounds like a great idea.”

  I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my shoulder as we walked up to the house. I pulled out the pizza menu and, after we both decided on what we wanted, I placed the order and we waited for it to be delivered.

  Chapter 16

  The alarm went off and I jumped into the shower. I couldn’t stop thinking about Amelia and last night. We enjoyed our pizza and had a great conversation about music. It turned out that we shared the same taste. Once I showered, I got dressed, grabbed my bag, locked up the house, and headed to Amelia’s. When I pulled in her driveway, she was standing on the porch with her bags.

  “Good morning.” I smiled.

  “Good morning. Look at you looking all handsome in a business suit.”

  I smiled as I grabbed her bags and set them with mine in the back seat. I opened the door for her and she climbed in.

  “Ready to head back to the city?” I asked.

  “Not really. I would like to stay here forever. I love it here.”

  “Me too.” I said as I touched her hand.

  She turned and looked at me with a smile. I could get used to seeing that smile every morning.

  “I think we need some Starbucks before we head back. What do you think?”

  “I think you just read my mind, Mr. Black.”

  I pulled into the drive thru and ordered us coffee and two muffins. All the way to the city, we sang some of my favorite songs and had a lengthy conversation about politics. That was a subject we must never talk about again.

  “My apartment is at 75 Third Ave. in the Third Avenue North building.”

  “You’re not too far from Black Enterprises.”

  We reached her building and I got out and grabbed her bags.

  “It’s okay, Collin. I can get them. Thank you for me driving back. I appreciate it,” she said as she kissed me on the cheek.

  “You’re welcome and it was my pleasure.”

  “I’ll see you around,” she spoke.

  “Don’t be a stranger,” I said as I got into the Range Rover and clasped the steering wheel.

  I felt sick to my stomach as I watched her walk into the building. What if this was the end for us? What if the Hamptons was just a dream and, now that we were back to reality, the dream was gone. I pulled out into traffic and drove to the office. I took the elevator up to my dad’s office, but stopped to say hi to Diana first.

  “How was your weekend?” she asked.

  “It was amazing! How’s Jacob?”

  “He’s had a little setback. But he’ll be okay.”

  “Tell him I’m coming over to play some Xbox tonight.”

  “He’ll like that very much.” She smiled. “Your dad is waiting for you.”

  I sighed. “I know.”

  I opened the door and, when I walked in, he was on the phone. He motioned for me to sit down. I walked over to the coffee pot and poured a cup of coffee before taking a seat in the chair.

  “How was your ride back?” he asked as he hung up from his call.

  “It was great. How was yours?”

  “Don’t try and change the subject, son. I can tell you’re smitten with this girl.”

  “Smitten? Really, Dad? Did you just say ‘smitten’?”

  “Collin, you know what I mean,” he sighed.

  “I do like Amelia. She’s a great girl, but she’s very complicated and that bothers me.”

  My dad leaned back in his chair. “Complicated how?”

  “Her parents, sister, and boyfriend were all killed in a boating accident two years ago. She confided in me last night that she should’ve have been the one killed, not them. She’s really closed herself off to the world and I can tell she’s scared.”

  “So are you,” he said. “Hailey left a bad mark on you and that’s why your behavior has been less than acceptable. But, as someone who understands, I can see where you’re coming from. If you truly like her and want to be with her, make it happen. I did, and believe me, son, I was more fucked up than you. I’ve learned to let go of fear and let things happen the way they’re supposed to.”

  “Thanks, Dad, for your wisdom. Now, let’s go over that proposal. I have a lot of work to do today.”

  He smiled at me as he pulled out the file from his drawer and we spent the next hour going over business.

  ****

  “Spill, little brother,” Julia said as she walked in my office.

  “Wow, you look bigger than the last time I saw you.” I smiled.

  “I’m not here to talk about how fat I’m getting. I’m here to talk about your little romantic weekend.”

  “Want to see a picture of her?”

  “Shut up! You have a picture already?”

  I unlocked my phone and scrolled to the picture of us on Majestic.

  “That’s her. That’s Amelia.” I said as I handed Julia my phone.

  “She’s so pretty, Collin. Are you horseback riding?”

  “Yes. It was her first time and she was a little nervous, so I told her to ride with me.”

  “Aw, you’re so sweet.” She smiled as she put her hands on her heart.

  “Stop it, Julia. We’re friends.”

  “Did you have sex?”

  “NO! I would never.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Really, Collin? You have sex with any woman that looks at you.”

  “Not her. She’s different. I haven’t even kissed her yet.”

  Julia’s eyes widened. “Wow. You must really like this girl a lot.”

  “I do. More than I want to admit. I completely forgot to tell you, Hailey called me and then sent me a text message.”

  “Why? What did she want?”

  “Who the hell knows?” I said as I got up from my desk. “She wanted to know how I was. As if she even cares.”

  Julia got up from the chair and clasped my shoulders. “Listen, follow your heart. Don’t look back at the past.”

  I smiled at her as she walked out of my office. I couldn’t stop thinking about Amelia and the worst part was, I think I missed her. Oh boy, what the hell was I going to do? I walked back to my dad’s office and stepped inside.

  “What can I do for you, son?” he asked.

  “I need you to buy a house.”

  He looked up at me from his paperwork and just stared. “You need me to do what?”

  “Dad, listen. The beach house was Amelia’s parents’ and she needs it to sell because she’s almost out of money. I’m afraid that it’s going to take too long to sell. Could you just buy it and then put it back on the market?”

  My dad gave me the look that he used to when I was child. I used to call it the “explanation” look. He had the same facial expression right before he would begin to explain things to me.

  “Collin, my son, listen. I know you want to help this girl out. I don’t blame you. But there comes a point when you have to realize that you can’t save everybody. I just can’t go and buy her house because she needs the money.”

  “Why not? You have a shitload of it.”

  “That’s not the point, son. Okay, I’ll make you a deal. If the house doesn’t sell in three months, I’ll buy it.”

  “Three months is too long, Dad.”

  “And what happens if things don’t work out and you’re not with her in three months?”

  “Fine. Three months,” I said.

  ****

  A couple of days passed and I didn’t hear anything from Amelia. I didn’t call her or text her because I was afraid that she’d reject me now that we w
ere back in New York. The fact that she didn’t call or text me gave me a real insecure feeling. I dropped by Jacob’s house and we played some Xbox. He was coughing more than usual. Diana said that the doctor had changed his medication and it wasn’t working.

  “So, you gotta girl yet?” Jacob asked.

  “There may be someone I’m interested in.”

  “Like in serious or just a casual fling?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh when he said that. “I don’t know yet. I just met her, but she’s not the casual fling type.”

  “Cool. Have you gone out yet?”

  “Just a couple of times in the Hamptons. I haven’t talked to her since we got back to the city.”

  “Oh. Well, I hope things work out.”

  “Thanks, bro.”

  “No problem. My mom likes some guy. I met him. I don’t like him.”

  “Why don’t you like him?”

  “Cause I don’t.”

  “But if he makes your mom happy, that’s all that matters.”

  “I don’t care. I don’t want him around.”

  I could hear the anger in Jacob’s voice when he talked about it. I suspected he didn’t like the guy because he wasn’t his dad. When we finished our game, he looked at me.

  “I think you should call her and ask her out.”

  “I think you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Seriously, dude. Call her. She might surprise you,” he said as he began to cough.

  “I’m sorry. How old are you again?”

  “Just do it. Are you a scaredy cat?”

  “No!”

  “Oh, that’s right, you’re a chicken,” he said as he walked around the room making chicken noises and flapping his arms.

  “You little shit. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Then call her. Right now.”

  “Fine, I will!” I said as I pulled my phone from my pocket.

  I dialed her number and Jacob sat on the bed.

  “Hi, Collin,” she answered.

  God, it was so good to hear her voice. “Hi, Amelia. How are you?”

  “I’m okay. How are you?”

  “I’m okay. Hey, would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night?”