by Lisa Graves
“Because this is where I usually end up. This place, here, is one of my favorite places. And with you here, it’s now perfect. Complete.” His fingers locked with mine.
“It’s one of my favorites also.” I was still a little disoriented due to the fact that I couldn’t even remember this place or the corresponding memory until moments ago. Now that my past memories were no longer hidden in the recesses of my mind, I lingered on the thoughts of the past. The thoughts that surrounded this place.
I was in New Zealand. It was in this very hammock that I had first met Elliott. Well, in that lifetime anyway. I remember that I couldn’t sleep that night and decided to go for a walk. There were grassy fields surrounding where I lived, and a hill way off in the distance was my favorite place. It wasn’t the hill in general that attracted me, but the three gigantic trees that grew there. Fields all around and only here these three trees flourished. I had put a hammock connecting two of them weeks before. I loved to lay in it and trace the imperfect twists and turns of the branches with my eyes as I dazed off and daydreamed.
In the memory, it was so late that it was early. The sky already started to have a soft blue hue as the stars began to fade. I lay in the hammock enjoying the peace and quiet of a day just beginning. I remembered I was watching the sky change colors through the branches overhead when there was a flicker in my peripheral vision towards the east. I looked over and saw the silhouette of him. Of Elliott.
He walked towards me with the biggest smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile back. Elliott had held out his hand for mine. I’d placed my hand in his and the familiar tingles of energy ran straight to my heart. He kissed my hand, and again my journey began. The sun slowly rose in the sky.
It was surreal and awesome to look at Elliott now, laying beside me with the misty wonderland that surrounded us here.
“Tuo amo,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek.
I smiled back and let my lips find his. The sensuality that emitted from his kiss here, where my senses were on hyperdrive, involuntarily brought tears of happiness to my eyes. As I blinked back the tears, the mist started to fade. One moment it was there, I closed my eyes, trying to regain my focus, and when I opened them again, we were back on the bridge, sitting with our legs dangling over the edge.
That was amazing. I was still breathless by the experience of Atlantis. But there were some lingering thoughts that plagued my mind.
I held Elliott’s hand tight in my own as my eyes watched the ripples in the water. I tried to find my words. “So, when I do this, am I going to die?” I whispered.
“It’s not as simple as that, Miele. Death is easy.” Elliott paused as his words seem to catch him by surprise. “That’s it!”
I couldn’t help but look up. “What’s it?”
“That’s what we did differently. That’s what you keep doing wrong.”
I looked at the fire in his eyes. “What? What did I do differently?”
His answering look was intense and alive. “When we jumped from the cliffs in Italy…”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t let go.” Elliott seemed again to be talking more to himself than to me.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Of what?” But he wasn’t listening to me. “What are you talking about Elliott?”
“I didn’t let go. I held on.”
I was getting a little frustrated. “To what?” I asked again. He wasn’t making any sense.
His answer was passionate. He leaned in and kissed my neck. “To you,” he whispered in my ear.
I didn’t get what he was talking about, but it seemed to make perfect sense to him. I shook my head and gave him a confused smile.
Finally, he elaborated. “You were so eager for immortality. When we jumped that day, we were on the astral plane. We were astrally projected,” he reminded me, “but that wasn’t enough. Being projected wasn’t enough.”
My face scrunched up in confusion.
“You were more than ready to let go and enter the unknown. But I…”
“You what?”
“I wouldn’t, couldn’t, let go… of you.”
My face scrunched up again.
He continued. “That was the difference. It allowed the disconnect.” “Disconnect? Non capisco (I don’t understand). So will this kill me? Do I have to die?”
“Short version, yes.”
Super, I thought.
“But not quickly,” he amended.
Even better. Why not draw out a little thing like death? But then I looked at Elliott. I touched Elliott. His hand caressed my thigh. He was alive, somehow.
Then he spoke. “Do you get it? Do you understand?”
“Not even a little.”
Elliott smiled.
“Can you repeat all that one more time, and slowly?”
“When you jumped…each time, you let go too quickly. You have to have something to hold onto. Then your mind can have a chance to make it, to project to Atlantis. The times before were too quick. Your energy got lost.” Elliott paused. “You died.”
“I don’t get it. What am I supposed to hold onto? And how?”
“It’s a question of willpower.”
I sat on the old wooden bridge, contemplating. I didn’t feel that I really understood what I was supposed to do, besides jump astrally.
“I’ve got it!”
“What?” I looked around, startled.
Elliott only said one word. “Nicholas.”
“Nicholas what?”
“He is your link to the physical world. He will help you.”
Not willingly, I thought.
“It is late, mia amore. May I bring you home?”
“I guess.” I really didn’t want to go home yet.
“I don’t want to part yet either.” His eyes answered my feelings, “But I really want to run this idea by my friends. So don’t try anything yet.” The fire was back in his emerald eyes.
“I promise.” I wouldn’t know what to do anyway.
Elliott then tenderly kissed my lips. Nibbling and kissing, kissing and nibbling. “I am so happy, mia amore. Tua amo.”
“Tuo amo (I love you),” I replied.
One more kiss on the Sleepy Hollow Bridge, and then we free fell through nothing. Back to reality. I opened my eyes to the musty darkness of the cellar and smiled. That was the best date ever!
Chapter 9. Friends
Curled up in the shawl, I walked along the dark and deserted street home. I didn’t want to hurt the dress by sneaking in through the window, but it was late. I contemplated the pros and cons quickly before deciding to try to sneak quietly in the front door. It was a mistake.
Meredith was waiting. She was even alert, thanks to the coffee in her hand. I was a little surprised to see her smiling. I was way past curfew, not that I was sure what time my curfew was these days. I rarely deviated from my solitary splendor. The only exception was Elliott, and he was my secret. But it was late, and Meredith was my mother. I yawned as I waited for her parental instincts to kick in.
They didn’t. “Did you have a nice date?” she gushed. I think the caffeine was amping her up, but either way she couldn’t hide her enthusiasm.
And neither could I. “It was the best.” I caught myself smiling as the words came out.
“What did you do?”
What should I say? What could I say? I was tired. Whatever lie I told her, chances are I wouldn’t remember it in the morning. Instead I tried to buy some time. It’s easier to lie well rested. “I am so tired, mom,” I yawned. “If you let me go to bed now, I promise I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.”
I could see the disappointment on her face, but her motherly instincts must have realized I wasn’t lying about being tired, and she let me go up to bed in peace.
The next morning, Meredith was waiting, again. I was beginning to feel a little like the mouse in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. At least I was doing pretty good at not getting caught.
I tried to stay i
n bed and hide as long as possible while I worked on my lie, but nature called and Meredith was quick to pounce when she heard me walking around upstairs.
“Lilly! Come down! I made breakfast.”
I groaned as I made my way down the stairs still in my pajamas and wrapped up in a blanket. I sat down and was instantly wary. Meredith was all eyes on me. The anticipation of details seemed to be consuming her. Again, her coffee addiction was probably a contributing factor, but she couldn’t hold still. Except her focus. I was in her crosshairs this morning.
“How many pancakes would you like?”
“Two, please.”
“Any chocolate chips in them?”
“Sure.” Literally sweetening me up? I didn’t think my going on a little date would have this kind of affect on my mother.
Pretending to watch my pancakes cook, the questions began. “So where did you and… who was your date with again?”
“Nope. No names.” I took a bite of bacon.
“Lilly, I really should know the name of the boy.”
“Nope. Next question.”
She gave me a dirty look, but moved on down her mental list. “Where did you two go last night?”
It was time to get creative. “We stopped by a few parties.”
“Were they close by?”
I tried not to let my eyes expose my carefully cultivated half truths. “Kinda.” I was technically in the neighborhood. Technically.
Meredith sat my plate of pancakes down on the table. “Here you go, Lilly Bug.”
“Thanks.”
As I poured syrup on my breakfast, I could feel her eyes studying my face. I tried to mentally prepare for whatever question she was working up to that she was so intent on my reaction. “So…” she started, “did he kiss you?”
I failed miserably. I couldn’t help but glow when I thought of how sensual and expressive Elliott’s kisses were last night. And Meredith saw it.
“He did! He did kiss you! Was this your guy’s first kiss? Tell me all about it. Are you dating now? I thought you liked Nicho-” she stopped as though she’d meant not to mention Nicholas’s name and forgot.
“Mom. Nicholas and I are just friends. He knows that.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Does he really?”
“Well, I’ve made myself pretty clear. There isn’t much more I can do. We are friends, you know.”
“Enough about Nicholas. Tell me about your kiss with…”
She really wants to know Elliott’s name. Too bad. “With my date from last night?” I took a bite of my chocolate pancakey goodness before continuing. “It was awesome. He sure knows how to be romantic.”
“Lilly,” she begged. “Please give me some details.”
I sighed. “Alright. Well, he brought me dancing. And the party was a masquerade, so we fit in perfectly. There were jack-o-lanterns all over. It was really cool.”
I could see her making mental notes. It would be best not to give too much information, so I tried to change the subject. “So how were Sophie and her friends last night?”
“Fine. So when are you going to see him again?” She was persistent.
“I’m not sure, mom.”
I could tell by her reaction, that Meredith knew what I was up to. Unfortunately for me, she wasn’t about to let my interrogation end.
“Oh,” she tried to sound as though she had forgotten something. I saw right through her lie. “This came for you.” Meredith took an envelope off the counter and placed it on the table in front of me. It was from Nicholas. I’d recognize his writing anywhere. “Is he still just a friend?”
My heart skipped a beat as my mind quickly sorted through all of the many thoughts that surrounded Nicholas in my mind these days. Had he gotten my letter? Did he manage to decode it? Was this letter in code, too? How was he? And on and on the questions rose from the depths of my subconscious.
“So, Lilly.” Meredith interrupted my scattered thoughts.
I couldn’t stop staring at the the envelope. “Yeah, mom?”
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
I really really didn’t want to. Not in front of her. What if it wasn’t in code? What if it was? “I think I’ll open it later.”
“Lilly. If you two are just friends, like you say, I don’t see why you can’t open it right now.”
I sighed and my heart thumped in my chest as I picked up the envelope. A piece of paper shouldn’t be this scary. As I ripped open the edge, my mind cringed at all the possible scenarios that were about to unfold as I unfolded what was inside. I couldn’t help but smile as I opened my letter.
It was blank.
Meredith was sick with anticipation. “Lilly. So what does it say? Can I see?”
I smiled and handed her the note.
“It’s blank?”
“Yep.” I sighed as the weight lifted off my shoulders, and nibbled a bit more on my breakfast.
“Lilly?”
“Yeah, mom?”
“Why did Nicholas send you a blank piece of paper?”
I shrugged. “That’s Nicholas for you.” I did my best to keep the smile off my face. “He just does random stuff like that. Can I have the paper back now?”
She looked it over one more time, front and back, before handing me my secret message. I could see the frustration in her eyes, but I wasn’t about to alleviate it. The less she knew, the better. For me, at least.
I got up from the table with a spring in my step. “Well, thanks for breakfast mom. It was really good. I think I’ll go have a shower now. I could really use one.”
I dropped the blanket I was wrapped in on my bed as I grabbed some clean clothes, then practically skipped to the bathroom with the blank piece of paper in hand.
I decided to run a bath. The sound of the water would keep my mother at bay. Plus, it would be nice to relax and re-evaluate last night. The best night ever last night. If I weren’t one hundred percent sure that Elliott was real, I would probably write it off as a dream.
But before I let myself get too sidetracked, I had to stop and light a few candles. I had a blank piece of paper to read, after all. With the sound of the warm, running water in the background, I sat on the edge of the tub and carefully warmed the paper with the flame of the candle. Just like before, as if by magic, Nicholas’s words appeared a little at a time. I couldn’t help but smile at his sneaky little way of writing to me as I read my letter.
Lilly,
I am alright. School’s okay, and so is Oregon, but it’s not home. There’s an awesome cemetery by the ocean here. I walk there sometimes and think of you. By the way, the code was awesome. It took me some time, but I figured it out. Obviously, you have figured out the note I left you. I hate being so far away from you. I worry about that other guy trying to steal you from me. Please don’t let him.
I already have your Christmas present and am counting the days til break…
…I miss you.
lots.
I really do love you, Lilly. Please write back soon.
-cash lioN wink
My heart sank a little deeper in my chest as I processed Nicholas’s words. I had figured that the upside of the crappy situation of him having to move was that, hopefully, he would meet some girl that would end his crush on me. I really hated hurting him. And yet somehow I was managing to do it even though we were nine hundred miles apart.
As I slipped into the hot, sudsy water, I contemplated completely severing ties with Nicholas. Would it be better for him in the long run? Surely it would. I couldn’t make him happy while astrally projecting to foreign lands with an Italian heartthrob. Besides the minor detail that I belonged to Elliott on so many different levels. In so many different ways, we were more than soul mates. This was a love without limits. And I couldn’t even be honest with Nicholas.
I’m a bad person, I thought, and let myself slip under the water.
Elliott’s voice called out. “Lilly!”
I gasped as my face broke through
the water as I sat up. Whoops. I’d forgotten about the weird water connection. But that is where I wanted to be, and oh so badly. I wanted that calm solitary feeling that comes with water. Hearing the sounds of swishing in my head, as the water flows.
After catching my breath from the initial shock, I decided to try it again. This time I was expecting to hear Elliott’s voice. I didn’t know what else would happen.
I took another deep breath, and lay down under the water. As expected, Elliott called out to me again.
“Lilly!”
I’m fine. I need this. I thought.
And oddly enough, Elliott heard me. He could hear my thoughts.
“You’re alright, Miele?”
Si, ma voglio essere solo. Per favore. (Yes, but I want to be alone. Please.) I thought.
“Capisco. Scrivalo quando siete pronto. (I understand. Write me when you are ready.)” And then I was alone.
The only sound I heard was the water running and splashing as it continued to fill the tub. I let my nose and mouth poke up above the surface. I breathed in and my body floated up. I breathed out and slowly I would sink lower. It was the most relaxing sensation. Weightlessness. Nothing but the sounds of pouring water and my beating heart.
At first I let my mind drift on the sea of my thoughts. I rolled over the various waves, and topics, that were my world. The waters seemed to get rough in the Sea of Nicholas. The letters, the treasured friendship, and the guilt I felt were all there. But up ahead there was light. My mind turned misty as I sailed through a familiar haze. My thoughts had come to my date last night and the amazing reality of Atlantis. Of the world’s that open up, all latent and hidden within our minds.
I smiled and water touched my lips. Last night had been one of the happiest moments of my life. I wanted badly to get back to Atlantis. To experience the senses so completely was intoxicating. I knew already that I was addicted. It’s no wonder that I keep trying to make the cross. The other side was where I wanted to be. The other side was where I was meant to be. Besides, Elliott was there too.
Another sound then broke through the beating of my heart and the running water. It was the overflow drain. Reluctantly I sat up and turned off the water. I wasn’t ready to relinquish the peace and harmony I was feeling. I lay back down and bobbed up and down with my breathing until the water started to get cold, and I was more than a little pruney.