by Lisa Graves
When I was dry and decent, I pulled out my red tattered journal and camera to “talk” to Elliott.
Thanks for the alone time. And what did you mean by ready?
I took out the camera and snapped a photo of the page. Turning the setting to view, I read Elliott’s response under my question.
Thanks for the alone time. And what did you man by ready?
First. Lilly, are you alright?
I bit my lip. Technically I was fabulous. There were just some very pressing issues on my mind. Little, minor things like heartbreak, eternity, and dying were at the top of the inconsequential list.
I wrote back.
I’m fine. Last night was amazing. It’s just a lot to take in.
Click. View.
I’m fine. Last night was amazing. It’s just a lot to take in.
I know. If you can meet me, I’d like to elaborate on how to make the jump work. That is, if you still want to…
Of course I still wanted to! I didn’t want anything so much in my entire life. And that’s what worried me. Elliott said that my eagerness had been my downfall. What to say?
I’m just scared.
Click. View.
I’m just scared.
So (I know). Anchio (I am too). We won’t try until we are certain you can make it. Until there is no question. No doubt. Until you are ready.
At least Elliott wasn’t pressuring me. I sighed.
So, what did you mean by ready then?
Click. View.
So, what did you mean by ready then?
If you can meet me, I have a few friends I’d like you to meet.
This shouldn’t have, but it stumped me. Elliott had friends? It was a normal human thing to have, but Elliott had always been so out-of-this-world to me that the thought had never even crossed my mind. And as soon as that thought left, a more troubling one entered. What if they didn’t like me?
I was so flustered that I accidently took another photo. Only part of the paper was in view, but it was as if Elliott were reading my mind, for in the corner it read:
Don’t worry, they’ll love you. They-
…and it cut off. I turned to a fresh page.
I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you. -Lil
Click. View.
I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you. -Lil
…and I’ll always be waiting. -Elliott
I closed the worn book, and carefully ran my hand over the fragile binding. I was scared shitless, but lay back and fell through my mind into the meadow at Stonehenge. My heart racing all the way.
Elliott ran up to greet me. His friends stayed back, sitting and joking on the massive stones. Taking my hand in his, Elliott walked me up to meet the three of them, two boys and a girl.
The girl was the first to catch my eye. She was beautiful. She reminded me of Charlotte, since she was so pretty, though they couldn’t have looked more different. This girl’s hair was long, and so dark it was almost black. Her eyes were hazel. And for the first time, here was a person closer to my perfect un-freakish height. Our eyes caught, and I saw that she was assessing me also. “Hi,” she said.
My voice came out much weaker than I had anticipated. “Hi,” I managed. Good thing my bottom lip was make-shift chewing gum.
One of the boys walked over and offered me his hand. “I’m Max.”
“Hi. I’m Lilly.” Thank god my voice came out clearer this time.
The other boy laughed. “Yeah. We know.”
“Give her a break, Oliver. She’s still new, technically.” Max said.
Oliver walked over, sauntered would better describe it, and took my hand and kissed it. “I’m pleased to officially meet you,” he overly hammed it up. But Oliver’s eyes smiled, and then he winked at me before turning back to Max. I could already tell I was going to like these guys.
I noticed Elliott sigh at my side.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “So, what’s up?” I asked.
“You are, baby,” said Oliver winking at me again.
“Oliver,” the girl scolded.
“Claire,” he mocked back.
“She is what’s up. The hot topic of conversation,” added Max.
“Hot is right.” Oliver gave me a seductive growl.
“Ah-hem,” Elliott looked at Oliver.
“Can’t a guy give a girl a compliment?” he retorted, as he turned around to go back and lean against the stones.
I smiled. Oliver oozed personality like Nicholas. He was a very easy person to be around. I watched him walk away. He was slightly taller than Elliott, and was pure muscle. Adding to that, his buzzed black hair, Oliver would probably seem intimidating from afar. But less than two seconds in his presence would quickly prove otherwise.
Max then said, “How about we all go sit down?”
“Good idea,” Elliott replied.
Still holding my hand, Elliott led me over to talk with his friends.
I was never comfortable around new people, so I continued to hold onto Elliott’s hand for support. I’m sure they could sense that, and no one pressured me to speak. Turns out they did enough talking for everyone, which allowed me to watch and take it all in.
Max started. “So, Elliott. You called this meeting. What’s up?”
“As if you didn’t know.” Elliott replied.
“I’m being polite. Gheez!”
“I’ll show her polite,” added Oliver, eager to wink at me again.
Claire hit him.
“Thanks, Claire,” said Elliott and Max at the same time.
“No problem.”
I smiled again. It was easy to see that these four had been friends for some time. I looked at Max as he tried to steer everyone back to the topic. His dark haired faux hawk was perfectly done, and his blue eyes rolled as he tried to call order.
Elliott intervened. “Come on, guys. We all know why we are here.”
I couldn’t help but give Elliott a confused look that Max saw.
“I don’t think everyone knows why we are here,” said Max.
Oliver looked at me and finger pistol pointed his finger at me. “It’s all about you, sweetheart.”
“Oliver!” all three scolded this time, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and join in.
“So you guys talk about me a lot when I’m not around, huh?”
“Yeah,” Claire shrugged. “Elliott’s a little obsessed.” She thought about how that may have sounded and added, “In a good way. He’s just been trying to figure out why you don’t make the jump.”
“We all have,” added Max.
“I’ll work harder now that I know what you look like,” Oliver raised his eyebrows at me and smiled. What a flirt.
“Elliott thinks you have been letting go too quickly,” said Max.
“When you make the jump,” added Claire.
“I don’t understand any of this.”
Elliott’s hand rubbed my thigh, and he kissed my cheek. “That’s why we are here.”
“We are here to watch you make-out with your girlfriend?” Oliver came over and sat positioning himself for a better view. “Kay. Get started.”
Elliott seemed to clobber Oliver out of nowhere. One second he was sitting right beside me, then next he and Oliver were rolling around on the grass. Claire came over and sat beside me.
“He does really care about you, you know,” she said in a low tone.
“Yeah. I feel the same way towards him.”
Max scooted closer to join our conversation, while the other two continued to duke it out. “Elliott thinks you are letting go too quickly,” he repeated. “And I think he’s right.”
“Me too,” said Claire. “I still don’t know what that means. How do I not let go, when I am astrally projected, holding onto nothing.”
“The holding isn’t literal.”
“No, it’s more emotional,” added Max.
I shrugged.
“Who is Nicholas?” Max asked.
I could
n’t help but give him a questioning look. “My best friend.”
Elliott and Oliver seemed to have come to some sort of truce and were walking back towards us. “What does he look like?” asked Oliver as he and Elliott joined the pow-wow.
“What does that matter?” asked Claire.
“Just evaluating my competition. I already have Elliott,” he said shrugging towards Elliott. “Tell me about Nicholas.”
“Like you even have a chance,” said Max. “Soul mates, remember?”
“Lilly, you wouldn’t let a little thing like you and Elliott being soul mates get in the way of these babies, would you?” Oliver flexed his arms showing off.
“Tempting,” I teased back. “But I think I’m good.”
Elliott mouthed, “I love you” across the circle.
I smiled back.
“We do still want to hear about Nicholas,” said Claire.
“Why?”
“We think your relationship with him might be just the thing to hold you back,” she said.
“Emotionally,” added Max.
There was a seductive growl coming from Oliver’s direction. “I’ll hold you Lilly.”
Claire and Max threw their arms up in the air.
“I told you we shouldn’t have brought him!”
“Hey, I didn’t argue with you Claire. It was Elliott’s idea.”
The dark haired duo looked at Elliott for advice on how to handle Oliver. He just shrugged his shoulders and turned to speak to me. “I think it would be helpful for you and Nicholas to be closer.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This was the same Elliott who was jealous of my friendship with Nicholas, and now he wanted that relationship to be stronger! There had to be a catch. I looked on in contemplative disbelief as I waited for someone else to speak.
Thank god Oliver broke the silence. “Elliott, if you want her to get cozy with some other guy, I’m happy to take one for the team.” He made a serious business face.
I liked Oliver. At least he could see how absurd this idea was. Besides the fact that it would directly contradict my previous plan of cutting off contact with Nicholas altogether.
“I think it will help when you jump,” Max added.
“Couldn’t hurt, right?” asked Claire.
But it could hurt. And I wasn’t the one I was worried about. Nicholas was already a mess because of me. “I don’t think I can,” I managed to stammer out.
Elliott looked at me with his soulful eyes. But I couldn’t look back.
I closed my eyes as I thought about what they were asking me to do. The four of them continued on in their discussion on why such a connection would help. I zoned them out. They became a hum in the background of my thoughts until Claire said something that jolted me out of my reverie.
“Does he love her?”
My eyes flashed open, which ended up being a sort of confirmation to the others. I could see the pain in Elliott’s eyes. “I can’t-” I started to say, but was cut off as my body fell from the epicenter of energy. Back into my body. Back in my bed. I opened my eyes to see another set staring back at me.
Chapter 10. The Enemy
“What the hell do you want!” I yelled when I realized who had interrupted my Elliott time.
“I have some questions for you, Lilly.”
I sat up in bed, all huffy. “My mom let you in, didn’t she?”
Charlotte ran her hand through her long blond hair, “Yep.” She sat down at my desk and got down to business. “So how’s Nicholas?”
I chose not to answer. I figured a death glare would be more appropriate.
“Or are you still dating that imaginary guy? Elliott was it?”
Now I tried with all my might to will lasers to shoot out of my eyes. It didn’t seem to work, because Charlotte kept talking. “Seriously, Lil. I need the scoop on Nicholas.”
“Why?”
“That’s my business.”
“Well, Nicholas is my best friend. I have nothing to say to you.”
“What did you do for Halloween?” she pressed.
“None of your business.”
She kept trying. “Anyone special going to come and visit you for the holidays?”
“Goodbye, Charlotte.” I eyed the door.
She stood up and slowly walked towards the door. “I guess I’ll just have to ask your mom.”
I shrugged. Meredith didn’t know anything. Damn! I just remembered she had seen the first letter Nicholas wrote me. Charlotte continued making her way towards the door.
“And either way it would be nice to have a nice long talk with your mom. I’m sure we’d have lots to talk about. Did you ever tell her about your delusions?”
Please! Please! Please let daggers fly out my eyes! “Fine. We can talk, but not here.”
“Where then?”
I glanced at the clock, it was well past noon and my stomach could tell. “I think you ought to buy me lunch if you are going to pump me for information.”
She scowled, but said, “Fine.”
“Fine.” Lunch with the enemy. Super. An evening of pure happiness followed by a day trip in hell. What did I do wrong?
I grabbed my hoodie and followed Charlotte out the door. I followed her in silence all the way to her house, where we could pick up her car. I could tell lunch was going to be awesome. I rolled my eyes at my predicament and took a deep breath in. As I grabbed the handle for the door of her teal Saturn, it happened.
It only lasted a second, but it was the longest second in existence. For a brief moment, I was in a completely different place. I was covered in dirt. I remember looking down at my grimy hands as a cloud of dust started to clear. And there on the ground sticking out from the dirt, was a hand.
Then just like that, I was back with Charlotte, heading off to a lunch I really would rather not attend. I was already giving her the silent treatment, so I don’t think she realized anything had happened. I don’t think she saw that anything was wrong.
I didn’t know where she was taking us. Frankly, I didn’t care. All I could do was stare out the window and try to keep that hand out of my thoughts. I didn’t succeed.
Completely distracted, as I was, I didn’t even realize we’d sat down to order. Only the long stretch of awkward silence on the part of the waiter and the “ah-hem” from Charlotte made me take notice.
“I’ll have a chicken salad.” I didn’t know where we were, but most places had salads.
“And you Miss?”
Charlotte gave me a dirty look for being weird in public, before saying, “I’ll have one too, thanks.”
“Any drinks?”
At least I was paying attention this time. “I’ll have a Dr. Pepper.”
“A coke for me.”
“I’ll be right back with those.” And we were alone.
“You could have just gone to some fast food place.” This was a little nicer than I had expected for lunch. Nothing fancy, but better than the fifty cent taco I’d figured she’d buy me. The waiter came back with our drinks. It was then that it hit me. She wanted witnesses.
I couldn’t help but smile. I took a long swig of my drink and waited.
Charlotte sat uncharacteristically quiet. Probably contemplating the best way to blackmail me for information. It wasn’t until we both were started in on our salads that she decided to initiate combat.
“So.”
“So,” I countered.
“I haven’t heard from Nicholas since he moved.”
I chewed in silence.
“Have you heard anything from him?”
“Perhaps,” I shrugged.
“Why on earth would he write to you and not me?” Charlotte sounded pissed as she asked the question aloud.
I worked on flipping the interrogations around. “I dunno. What do you think?”
Now it looked as if she was trying to shoot lasers out her eyes. It was very satisfying. But before I could feel too good about myself, my mind flashed back to the
horrible seen of dust and death. It was only a fraction of a second longer than the first time. Lasting only the time it took to blink as I reached for my drink, but it was there. I was there. The dust. My soiled hands. The tragic hand sticking out from beneath the rubble. The details were fuzzy. But the feelings of utter grief and despair were very real.
As I blinked back to present, it took me a moment to remember what I was doing. I didn’t pull off that nothing had happened as well as I had the first time. Charlotte did realize that something was wrong. But being the pig-headed person she was, she figured it was something to do with her. Perhaps her and Nicholas.
I couldn’t even speak. The feelings of sadness were still with me as if whatever had happened, had just happened. The sensations of sadness were so intense, I caught myself blinking back tears. I took a drink to help find my voice.
“Sorry, Charlotte. I just can’t do this right now.”
She looked at me, assessing my sincerity. It didn’t look like she was buying it.
“Please bring me home. I promise we can talk later.”
“So you have time to get your story straight?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Really. That’s not it,” I pleaded.
“Then what? What are you hiding, Lilly?”
My eyes danced around the room as I tried to decide what to say to her. What information should I say, to an enemy. Then I thought of her weakness. Gossip. If I could think of something juicy enough, she would probably get distracted. I decided to try to curve my truths into fiction. I didn’t want her knowing what was really going on after all.
I looked her straight in the eyes. “You’re right. I’m hiding something.” “I knew it.”
“But it’s not what you think.”
She took a drink of her soda. “Enlighten me.”
I searched my brain for tidbits that would make the lies I was about to tell seem real. “I went on this awesome date last night and can’t seem to get it out of my head.” That seemed safe.
I could see the hunger in her eyes. It was like dangling a carrot in front of an ass. “Really? With who?”
“All that matters to you is that it wasn’t with Nicholas. He is nine hundred plus miles away.”
It wasn’t enough for Charlotte. She wanted proof. She needed more facts. “Where did mystery boy bring you on your date?”