Stonehenge

by Lisa Graves

  Would she believe a masquerade ball? Would I? It happened to be the truth, but in my head it sounded like a lie. I decided to dangle other carrots. Ones that would make her realize I wasn’t interested in Nicholas romantically. Things to distract her. “You should have seen him.”

  “Why?”

  “He showed up to my house decked out in a full-on tux and mask. It was so Phantom of the Opera.”

  Her eyes glistened at the dirty details. “What did you wear?”

  “Believe it or not, a dress. I figured since it was Halloween, I could get away with it.”

  Charlotte shook her head in assent. “Did you get flowers?”

  “A single red rose.”

  “Wow.”

  “So (I know).” My eyes couldn’t hide how I felt about Elliott. And gushing about him was kind of fun.

  “So what?”

  Huh? Oh my gosh! I hadn’t accidently spoken Italian to anyone but Elliott before. “Sorry. I can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “So…” said Charlotte. “Who is it?”

  “I’m not going to tell you.”

  “Do I know him? Is it someone from school?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “Please tell me.”

  “Not happening.” I took the last bite of my salad. “Thanks for lunch though. We should do this more often,” I lied.

  I could see the thoughts swirling around in Charlotte’s head. At least my plan had worked. She was so distracted with my date details, that she had forgotten about her Nicholas inquisition.

  As she drove me home, the atmosphere was less awkward. We listened to music and made small talk.

  “So are you and this guy official?”

  “Yep.” I smiled. “We are definitely meant to be.”

  “And you still aren’t going to tell me his name?”

  “You wouldn’t know him anyway. He doesn’t go to our school.”

  “What school does he go to?”

  “Actually he’s a bit older than us, so he’s not in school.” A bit older was quite a stretch, though true.

  “An older man. Lilly Black!” she scolded, though her eyes lit up with this juicy piece of gossip as she pulled her car into my driveway.

  I smiled at her enthusiasm. Charlotte must still have some delusions of her own involving Nicholas to be so happy that I wasn’t remotely interested in him. I opened the door of the Saturn, and as I went to get out of the car I froze. I’d gone someplace else.

  “Lilly? Lilly! Are you okay?”

  I was shaking. Sitting in the car, I couldn’t move. The flashback had happened again, but this time there were more details.

  Chapter 11. The Hand

  This time instead of lasting longer and showing what happened, the flashback started earlier. In it I was laughing and walking, walking and talking with Elliott in an underground tunnel. We both looked different, but still the same. I could tell from our clothes and hairstyles that this memory happened a very long time ago. And this tunnel wasn’t in Italy.

  This tunnel was dug, not built like the hidden underground city I had become accustomed to. Roughed out walls with rudimentary tools, I could see the imperfect impressions they left behind as the hole went deeper into the ground. The scent of damp earth and mineral salts filled the space. And I was happy.

  There was a light up ahead as Elliott and I made our way out of this curious enclosure. The earth started to rumble and the tunnel began to rain down. We both ran for the opening. My heart raced and my muscles ached as I pushed myself forward. I barely made it out. Dust from the cave-in clouded around me.

  I couldn’t see Elliott.

  I couldn’t see anything.

  I looked down at the dirt covering my hands as the dust started to settle. That was when I saw it. I saw his hand. Elliott hadn’t made it out. As I threw my body forward to his hand, my eyes and mind came back to the present. This time the despair was overwhelming.

  Tears immediately began to stream down my face as I looked around the car and street, trying to remember what I was doing.

  “Lilly, what’s the matter?”

  I wiped the tears from the fountains that were now my eyes. “Nothing,” I managed to gurgle out. Not that Charlotte, or anyone, would believe that I was fine. Explaining, however, wasn’t an option.

  “It’s not nothing. What’s the matter?”

  I managed to stumble out of the car. I didn’t have the strength to bother with closing the door. I didn’t even hear Charlotte get out and come up to me.

  “Lilly. Was it something I did?”

  I’m sure she could see my heart aching. I had never felt such an intense pain before. Water continued to stream from my eyes as I did the only thing I could, stare. No words came to me. Just the infinite sadness. And it was from a memory of sorts that I really didn’t understand. I needed to ask Elliott about it. That is, if I could.

  I continued to make my way towards the door. To my surprise, Charlotte took my arm and helped me. In all honesty, I might not have made it on my own. I was actually confused at how I managed to keep standing. Curling up in a ball and crying myself to sleep sounded like an ideal option for this evenings activities.

  As I opened the door I could sense Charlotte’s uncertainty of what she should do. I’m sure I didn’t look like I was going to make it up the stairs to my room alone, but that is what I needed to do. Closing my eyes and taking a slow deep breath in, I looked at her, “Thanks for your help.”

  Charlotte’s blue eyes were carefully evaluating me. “No prob.” She was still unsure.

  “I’m fine. Promise,” I lied.

  She just watched me.

  “Thanks again for lunch, but I really just need to be alone right now.” The tears continued to run down my cheeks. The floodgates were too strong to successfully blink them away.

  “Are you sure you’re alright?”

  Another deep breath. “Yep,” I tried to squeeze out a smile. It was painful. One more deep breath, and managed to walk through the doorway on my own. Charlotte stood on the porch staring at me.

  “I’m fine,” I lied again as I closed the door on her worried face.

  The stairs were a bit difficult. The convulsions of crying started to overtake me the moment I’d closed the door. Holding tight to the rail, I pulled myself up to the second floor. Good thing my room was the first door on the right.

  Falling on my bed, the despair and depression washed over me again. Had I really watched Elliott die? How is that even possible? I was with him not twenty-four hours ago. One thing was for sure in my mind. Whatever this memory was, whatever time it came from, it had happened. The weight that bore down on my heart was an affirmation to that fact.

  The tears began to subside, my breathing began to even. Just as I started to regain control over myself, Meredith came in my room. I couldn’t even look at her as she sat on my bed.

  “What’s the matter, Lilly Bug?”

  I turned my face towards her and a fresh wave of tears appeared.

  “Are you okay?” she asked as she looked me over for injuries.

  All I could do was give a feeble nod.

  “What’s wrong then?”

  There was no way I was going to be able to explain what was really bothering me. I don’t know what made me think to say her name, but I did. “Charlotte,” I stammered out.

  Meredith looked relieved. “Did you two have another fight?”

  I nodded my lie.

  “Well, I hope you two make up one of these days.”

  I turned back towards the wall, burying my face in my blanket.

  “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I felt Meredith get up and heard her close the door behind her.

  Not seconds after the handle clicked shut, there was a peculiar sensation moving across my back. It took me a second in my frazzled state before I turned around.

  “Elliott!”
I’d never been happier to see him.

  He gave me one of his soul searching glares as he asked, “What on earth is the matter?”

  Elliott didn’t totally cross planes very often, it was too physically draining. But somehow he was here. Somehow he knew I needed him?

  “How did you know to come?”

  The tingles of energy wrapped around me as Elliott held me tight and whispered in my ear. “It would have been hard to miss, mia amore.”

  “What would be hard to miss?” I was confused and exhausted on so many levels, my brain was probably not fully comprehending what Elliott was saying.

  “The downpour.”

  I pulled back a bit to let him see the confusion in my eyes. “Huh?”

  “We have a special link, Lilly. A bond that has lasted centuries despite the occasional separation. When you are sad,” he looked at me, “especially this sad. I know. Rain literally falls from the sky in Atlantis.”

  I thought about that for a moment before repeating, “Downpour?” I said as I thought of the pain of the memory.

  He looked me in the eyes. “Yes, downpour. Mind telling me what happened?”

  “I was hanging out with Charlotte and started having these strange flashes.” My eyes watched his reaction, “Memories I think.”

  “Not the best memory then?” Elliott was quick.

  All I could do was blink back the tears as I nodded in ascent.

  “Tell me what you saw.”

  I blinked so fast I could have kept time with a second hand on a watch. I shook my head no.

  “Please, Lilly. Maybe I can help. Maybe it’s something I remember.”

  I buried myself in the safe confines of his arms. My face was safely hidden in his shoulder. I could barely say the words. All that seemed to escape my lips was, “I… saw… you…” and that took a lot of effort.

  “What, Miele? What did you see?”

  “I saw you… die.”

  There was silence for what felt like an eternity. All I could hear was the sound of our breathing. “You saw me die?” he asked.

  I nodded in his shoulder.

  This information didn’t seem to phase him. “Do you know when or where?”

  “No.” I peeked out from my hiding place. “Why?”

  He looked confused. “I don’t remember dying.”

  That statement was so incomprehensible that I must have cracked. I started to laugh.

  Elliott looked worried. “I don’t think you’re alright.”

  “I don’t remember dying…” I mocked.

  “No,” he replied.

  I laughed some more. “Well, neither do I. Apparently I’m good at it, remember?”

  He collected his thoughts before speaking. “Do you remember when this memory occurred?”

  “I don’t know for certain, but I’m sure it was a really really long time ago.”

  “Like in Italy?”

  Did he seriously not know what I was talking about? “Nope. Way before that.”

  “But I don’t remember anything before Italy.” Worry was creeping into his voice.

  “We are together now.” How did I become the reassuring one? I kissed his cheek and tried to change the subject. “You’re friends seem nice.”

  Elliott’s expression changed immediately.

  “Claire, and Max, and…”

  “Oliver,” he said.

  I smiled. “Yeah. And Oliver.”

  “I can’t believe him.”

  “He seemed nice enough to me. By the way, sorry about my quick departure.”

  “Yeah,” Elliott said, remembering my latest exit from Stonehenge. “Was it your mother?”

  “Nope. Charlotte.” I rolled my eyes.

  Charlotte was the wrong word. It reminded him about why he came in the first place. “Lilly.”

  I sighed deep as I tried to prepare for the question I knew was coming.

  “I need to know what you saw. Preferably with details.”

  I ran my fingers through his dark brown hair and kissed his cheek. I held his neck as I whispered in his ear the flashback. He stayed good and quiet, taking it all in. Any detail I could recall, I told Elliott. When I was finished, I noticed how weak he was from projecting so far.

  “I need to go,” he said.

  “So (I know).”

  “Please come and see me soon.”

  “Dicordo (Alright).” Then he was gone. And I was all alone.

  I held together better since letting Elliott know what was happening. The fact that he didn’t seem to understand it wasn’t really reassuring, but at least he didn’t look at me like I was crazy. I hoped he went to ask his friends about what was happening to me. It would be nice if someone had an answer. And preferably one with a cure on how to stop them.

  Monday came before I knew it. Drew was anxiously waiting in photography to tell me about his Halloween, and to question me about mine.

  He pulled out three rolls of film from his backpack to develop. “I took so many pictures Friday night.”

  I didn’t respond. I just quietly got out my already developed film to work on some prints.

  Drew kept talking. “I really hope I got some cool orbs. Especially in the pics I took on Halloween.”

  Orbs? “What’s an orb?” I asked.

  Like Charlotte, it didn’t take much to get Drew started. “Seriously?” he asked as we made our way to the dark room. The smell of the developer and other chemicals filled the air and my nostrils as I got way more information than requested. “Orbs are light anomalies in pictures. They are so cool. People think it’s just dust, but there is no way. I’ve gotten over ten photos of the same orb so those people are crazy.”

  “Dust?”

  “No, Lilly. Not dust,” he rolled his eyes. “I really hope Orbie is in some of these pictures, then you can see.”

  I think Drew may have lost it. “Orbie?”

  “What is with all these one word questions? Yes, Orbie. Do you have a better name for an other worldly being?”

  I shook my head no, and rolled my eyes.

  “Anyway, Orbie has very definite and unique patterns that are in no way dust.”

  Drew kept talking but I just tuned him out and worked on my prints. I had somehow managed to get a cool Rembrandtesque photo of Theory that I was working with the filters to get the contrast just right. I had all but forgotten about “Orbie” by the time class was out, but Drew caught me again as I was walking out of class. Now he had with him proof of his spirit buddy.

  I looked at the photo for a minute. It was a very unique dust speck. “That’s pretty cool, Drew.”

  “Totally, huh? You can have it if you want.”

  “That’s okay, but thanks anyway.” I purposely turned into the girls restroom to get away from more “Orbie” talk. I had enough to deal with.

  The flashbacks continued. I usually had one a day, and it was always the same thing. The same hand. The same sorrow. And I always felt horrible after they happened. It was getting harder and harder to recover from such infinite sadness. I didn’t do much. I didn’t feel like doing much. Days turned to weeks. The sadness seemed to be seeping into my soul.

  I didn’t project.

  I didn’t see Elliott.

  There was nothing.

  Five days before Christmas there was a knock on my door. It was Sophie.

  “This came for you in the mail.” She held up an envelope.

  I sat up from reading.

  “It’s from Nicholas.”

  I fell back down. I’d never written him back.

  “I didn’t think you’d want mom to see it.”

  What a good little sister. “Thanks.”

  “No prob.” Sophie came in and handed me the paper. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, Soph. I’m fine,” I lied, and my eyes betrayed me.

  “What’s the matter, Lil? You can tell me. I promise I won’t tell mom.”

  I smiled up at her. “I know.”

  She sat on the bed. “
So, what’s up?”

  I stared out the window for a moment. Snow was falling from the sky. The snowflakes were more like cotton balls, and were quickly adding to the already accumulated snow on the ground. I missed dry weather. I didn’t even have my meadow when it was wet and cold outside.

  The cellar wasn’t a real option either. Drudging through several feet of snow to hide out in freezing weather wasn’t that great. So I had been home way too much lately.

  Finally I looked back at the mini-version of my mother staring at me. “How about we go bowling again?”

  Sophie shrugged her shoulders. “Sure. Sounds good to me.”

  “Kay. Just give me a minute to get ready.”

  “Kay,” Sophie said as she got up and left my room.

  I went and closed the door behind her before carefully hiding the envelope from Nicholas under my mattress. I would have to check it out later. I probably should mentally prepare for it anyway. I wasn’t sure if I could take another love letter at the moment.

  I pulled a black sweater on over my tank-top staple and searched my drawer for matching socks. I had two separate pairs of socks that had each lost their mate. It was tragic really. One was a really cool rainbow sock, and the other was white with funny characters. And being the all powerful sock god I was, I married the two and ran downstairs to put on my shoes.

  Sophie was sitting on the stairs waiting.

  “Ready?” I asked as I came up behind her.

  “Yep.”

  “Let’s go.”

  We went to the same bowling alley as the last time we hung out. It was cheap and close. Sophie waited until I got up to bowl my first frame.

  “So what’s the matter, big sis?”

  I knocked down three pins.

  “Does it have something to do with Nicholas?”

  I gutter balled it.

  “No,” I sighed. The Elliott flashback was what haunted me these days.

  I sat down while Sophie stepped up to bowl. We fell silent for a few frames. As I got up to try and spare the five pins I’d knocked down, Sophie asked, “Does it have something to do with Elliott?”

  I dropped the bowling ball behind me.

  “Is that a yes?”

  I picked up the bright blue ball. A few of the people next to us gave me funny looks. Jerks. I quickly tossed my ball in the gutter.