by Lisa Graves
Each night was the same. We’d come home from school. Watch some television, or a movie. Eat dinner with my family. Do homework. Nicholas would leave at curfew. Then I would go to bed, repeat. If I tried to push him out sooner than usual, I would just end up having to explain why, and then he would never leave. So I waited.
8:57 finally came. Nicholas gave me a quick hug and kiss before running out my front door. I ran up to my room.
It had been forever since I’d seen or spoken to Elliott. And I was still having the flashbacks. I think a little talk with him via the camera was in order. I locked my door before unearthing the camera and tattered red journal combination that I had safely tucked away in one of the many secret hiding places in my room.
The journal was almost full of our unique conversations. I had to flip towards the end to find a clean, blank page.
I took a deep breath as I tried to decide what I wanted to say. What was most important? I ended up with,
I miss you.
I snapped a photo of my words on the page, and changed the camera setting as quickly as I could to “view.” My heart skipped like the first time we had talked this way as I read his response below mine.
I miss you.
I miss you too, Miele. How’s Nicholas?
Another big sigh escaped from me. I had hoped he wouldn’t mention Nicholas. And what did he do? Mention Nicholas. I know he wanted an update, but that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to Elliott about. Ever.
Actually I was wondering if you guys ever figured out what is causing my flashbacks. I think they’re slowing my progress.
Click. View.
Actually I was wondering if you guys ever figured out what is causing my flashbacks. I think they’re slowing my progress.
No, we haven’t figured out what is causing them. I still think they are probably my fault. I’m sorry they are still happening, mia amore.
Great. Now I was making him feel bad. I quickly wrote,
I’m fine Elliott. Promise. I just think I’d get to you a lot quicker if I could get them to stop. It hurts to watch you die everyday.
Click. View.
I’m fine Elliott. Promise. I just think I’d get to you a lot quicker if I could get them to stop. It hurst to watch you die everyday.
I know the feeling. I know it hurts. If you think of anything I can do to help them stop, I’ll do it. My only advice would be that since your mind is forcing you to witness this moment everyday, it must be significant. Maybe try to watch? Maybe see if you can make it last longer? Watch for any details that might help with an explanation.
I read his response once. Then I readjusted my blanket as I snuggled into bed and read it again. I don’t know if I had the strength to try and make it last longer. It was the most painful thing I’d ever felt. A tear ran down my cheek just thinking about it.
Finally I responded,
I don’t think I can.
Click. View.
I don’t think I can.
I’ll keep trying to help from here, but you should think about it.
You should think about it, I grumbled in my thoughts. Easier said than done. I wanted so badly to touch Elliott. To feel the electricity, the tingles that radiated between our bodies. To smell the rain and gardenia scent of his skin. And to kiss his flawless mouth. His lips always moved in perfect harmony with my own, that’s what I wanted to think about.
Thinking thoughts of Elliott was making me miss him all the more. Water started to fall from my eyes, and blur my vision. I took in a staggered breath as I placed the pen to paper.
I miss you more than you can imagine. I’ll try. Amo tuo. -Lilly
Click. View.
I miss you more than you can imagine. I’ll try. Amo tuo. -Lilly
Amo tua, Miele. Good luck. -Elliott
I read his affirmation of love to me, amo tua, amo tua, over and over again. As the tears started to fall, I hid away my journal and camera and let them come. I happily cried myself to sleep.
The next thing I realized was a banging on my door. I cracked one eye open, not willing to commit to waking up just yet.
“Lilly? Are you up? Nicholas is going to be here any minute to get you for school.”
I made some sort of grumbling sound. It felt too early. I couldn’t be late. I continued to grumble as I rubbed my eyes awake and tried to focus on my alarm clock.
Holy crap! 7:11. Meredith was right. Nicholas would be here any second.
I was in a frenzy as I tried to pull together something clean from the pile of clothes crammed in my closet. I doused myself in perfume to amend for my lack of shower, and ran to the bathroom to at least brush my teeth and de-bed-head my hair.
I was still fighting a gravity defying lock of hair in the back when Nicholas came waltzing up the stairs. The bathroom door was open and my mouth was full of toothpaste.
“Morning, hoe.”
I spit into the sink. “Morning.”
Nicholas ruffled my hair-do. “Happy Hump-day.”
I gave him a dirty look for messing up my unruly black hair and grabbed a beanie. Maybe it would flatten down my Alfalfa style before school.
Wait a sec. “Hump-day?”
He laughed as we walked to his car. “Yep.”
As we pulled out of my driveway, I said, “I’m not going to hump you today.”
Nicholas winked his brown eyes at me. “So tomorrow I have a shot?”
“No!”
He laughed again. “Chill, hoe. Hump-day is just an expression.”
“For what?”
“Well…” his voice was thick with implications.
“Uhm-hmm.”
“Wednesday, Lil. Hump-day is another term for Wednesday.”
It must still be early. I stared at the red traffic light. “I don’t get it.”
“Do you need me to stop for coffee?”
“No. We’re already late.”
“Wednesday is Hump-day because it’s the middle of the week. It’s all downhill from here. Plus, I have a surprise for you.”
“Did Charlotte transfer schools last night?”
“I doubt it.”
I shrugged, disappointed.
“But your surprise will make you feel better. Promise.” He parked the car in the furthest lot from school. Everywhere else was full. We had to run to get to our classes before the first bell.
“See ya,” I yelled as I ran towards my Art History class.
In between every class Nicholas teased me with whatever it was he was planning. I only knew that humping wasn’t on the agenda. We were peacefully eating lunch when my arch nemesis decided to sit down at our table.
“Hi, Nicholas,” Charlotte twirled a lock of her blond hair in her fingers. Her blue eyes stuck on my boyfriend.
“Charlotte.”
“Since you’re back, you’re welcome to come and sit with me for lunch.” Hilarious. She was ignoring me completely.
“I’m good here, but thanks.”
A rush of hatred filled my stomach. I was surprised to feel jealous as she flirted with Nicholas. It was a strange and new emotion.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sit at my table?”
I gave her a death stare, but she just continued to ignore me.
“Charlotte,” Nicholas addressed her directly. She immediately lit up.
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“Of course. I’d be happy to do anything for you.” Wow. If that statement wasn’t thick with implications.
“I want you to really listen to me.” There was a change in his tone, and it made me happy. I could see where this was going. By the look on Charlotte’s face, she was still oblivious.
Nicholas reached across the table and held my hand. “Lilly and I are dating.”
“Ew.”
I shook my head, and fought to not laugh. Just because I wasn’t freak feet tall with long blond hair, she saw me as “ew.”
“Excuse me?” he asked.
“I.. uh…” she stammered. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m very serious. So whatever hopes you had for us, they are never happening.” He said the last part emphasizing each syllable.
Charlotte looked at me as though Nicholas were crazy to pick me over her. And in all honesty, looks-wise, I agreed with her. But for some reason, he wanted to be with me.
I needed to be with him.
And the jealous feeling in my stomach as Charlotte stomped away was perplexing me. Was I starting to like Nicholas more than I should? He continued to look at me with loving admiration. I couldn’t help but look back confused.
“Now that we have that cleared up, Lil, we can enjoy the rest of Hump-day.”
“We still have two more classes until freedom.”
“Then the humping can commence.”
I shook my head. “Nope. Not happening.”
“Fine,” he smiled at me. “If there is to be no humping… how about a good pummeling?”
“Huh?” Was he saying he wanted to wrestle? “I was thinking we could go to the arcade after school.”
“I haven’t been to an arcade since I was six.”
“Then you are waaay overdue for a pummeling.”
My face contorted in confusion as I took a big bite of pizza. “You want to go pummel six year olds?”
“Well, you are about as tall as a six year old…”
“Jerk.” I drank my soda while giving him a playful dirty look.
“You are so going down, hoe. You won’t see what hit you.”
I took another swig of soda. “Maybe I’ll just nibble on your ankles since I’m so little.”
The bell rang, indicating it was time to get to class.
“I’ll meet you at my car after school. Dun dun dun,” he walked away.
“Watch out for snakes!”
Nicholas looked back at me to smile, and winked as he turned down the hall to his class.
I was a little nervous as I waited by his car after school. I wasn’t really the video game type, so chances are I was going to get pummeled by Nicholas. Not that I would admit it. I was planning on trash talking all the way there and pray for a miracle.
“Ready for your pummeling, hoe?” he unlocked the car.
“Pummel nothing. You’re the one that’s gonna be crying like a baby.”
“Ohhh. You think so?”
“I know so.”
“How about a little wager then?”
Uhhh. “What did you have in mind?”
“If I pummel you,” he paused as he thought of what to bet. “How about we celebrate Hump-day properly.” His brown eyes made it very clear what he meant. “I am your boyfriend after all.” He made his “sexy” face at me.
I laughed. “How about hard core snuggling?”
He looked at me as though he were assessing if I was going to budge. I think he realized I wasn’t. “Fine. When I win, we hard core snuggle with tongue.”
“When, huh?” I hesitated before I agreed. “Alright.”
“Sweet.”
We were almost to the arcade. “What do I get when I win?”
“Hard core snuggling with tongue?” He grinned.
“Nice try.”
“What did you have in mind?”
Now it was my turn to think. I had to make it good. I got it! “How about when I win, you have to watch three chick flicks of my choosing Friday night?”
“Three?” he whined.
“Yep. Mwa! ha ha!”
“That’s a lot of confidence for such a little girl.”
“Again with the short jokes,” I teased, as he parked.
We got out of the car and walked towards the entrance. Nicholas knew his way around here. Crap. He had even more of an upper hand than I’d thought. He stuck a ten in the change dispenser and looked at me. “Ready?”
“Are you ready?” I hit my fist to palm to intimidate him.
He laughed at me. “Come on, hoe. How about we start you off easy?”
I gave him a really dirty look this time.
“Let’s try you on a racing game.”
“I can drive a car, Nicholas.”
“But can you dominate Grand Prix racing against a champion?”
“In my sleep,” I lied. We sat down, and he put the quarters in. I was looking over the mock car seat and gears. How do you work this thing? I was going to get creamed.
Nicholas kicked my trash. I didn’t think it was possible to lose as bad as I did. I didn’t even get to finish the race. Apparently I timed out. Whatever.
Nicholas was nice and didn’t rub it in too much. “How about we see if you’re a better zombie hunter than car racer?”
Even with my apparent defeat, I was going to trash talk until the cows came home. “Funny. I kill zombies in my spare time. When I’m not fighting crime that is.”
“It’s over here, Lil.”
I followed Nicholas to a big contraption of an arcade game. It had a big screen and two toy guns attached via a cord. They were rifles or something. I dunno, big.
Again, he put the coins in the slot to get it started. After losing the first round trying to figure out how to reload my pretend weapon, I didn’t do half bad. I almost killed as many zombies as Nicholas. This game wasn’t horrible.
I think he was concerned at my quick progress, because once the quarters ran out he suggested we try something else. “Okay, hoe. You are a decent zombie slayer, but can you handle a dinosaur?” he taunted.
I held up the gun, “Bring it on.”
He laughed as he shook his head and led us to a fake Jeep. It turned out that we were on a sort of safari through dino land and had to shoot them as they attacked our vehicle.
I kicked butt. “I am so gonna win!” Bang. Bang.
“No way I’m giving up making out for chick flicks!” He shot and killed the velociraptor that tried to attach from the left. “We’ll be kissing all night long, baby. Grrr.”
“Kiss this!” Bang! I totally dominated the t-rex and won the game.
One Nicholas. One tie. And one Lilly.
“Which game do you want me to dominate you on now?” I asked.
“Let’s see if you can shake it.”
“Excuse me?”
He inclined his head in the direction of a curious looking setup with mats on the floor. “Huh?”
“It’s a dancing game, Lil.”
Shit. I was going down.
It was pitiful. I was even boo’d by the pretend crowd. Nicholas just smiled getting one step closer to a date with my lips. He even puckered up a few times after he won.
“Having fun, hoe? I am so dominating you.”
“Feels like a home court advantage to me.”
He shrugged. “I’m still winning.”
“How about we try another racing game?”
“You really must want to make out with me, Lil.”
“You’re hilarious. Not. Prepare to get dominated. Let’s try a motorcycle one.”
“Kay. Over here.”
I at least placed in the motorcycle racing game. Tenth, but placing. Nicholas got second. As we walked out to the car to go home, Nicholas hugged me close and kissed the top of my head. “You must really want to make out with me, hoe. I kicked your butt.”
“Yeah, way to be a gentleman and let the girl win.”
“Hey, you won too. You get to make out with me,” he seductive growled.
“Oh baby.” My voice was as dry as toast. “You’re going to have to hold me back.”
It was late when we got home. Nicholas barely made curfew. I should have thought ahead and stalled. If he were grounded, I wouldn’t be able to pay up. He made another date with me for Friday. For being such a good sport, and killing the t-rex, he even threw in one chick flick of my choosing as an acceptable activity for Friday’s date. Well, it was going to be one of the activities at least.
And boy did Friday night come fast.
Chapter 19. Opals
We were cuddled up on my sof
a Friday night watching my favorite chick flick. Sophie was having a sleepover at Alena’s house, and Meredith had organized a girls night with some of her coworkers. In all honesty, she got herself out of the house on purpose to give me and Nicholas a little privacy. We had the house to ourselves.
Pride and Prejudice ended happily ever after, as always. The night was going well. There was another snow storm outside. Nicholas was attributing having to snuggle close to me because of the weather, even though it was a comfortable seventy-three degrees inside. I played along. He did win the Wednesday bet after all.
Nicholas had gone into the kitchen to pop some more popcorn in the microwave. I could hear the tiny popping noises for the three minutes before it beeped done. As the beep faded, it was at that moment that I blinked and opened my eyes to the familiar underground cavern.
My heart raced. Elliott and I made our way towards the light, and I knew the fate that lay ahead. I wanted so badly to scream out, Run! But it was playing as though I were watching another movie. No matter what I did, in a few moments the walls were to come tumbling down with Elliott trapped inside.
I had seen this happen so many times now, and every time it was the same. But this time I tried to focus. Elliott said to look for any clues as to why the horrible memory kept replaying in my mind. I looked around for any details that I’d been missing. I was always so distracted by Elliott that I hadn’t really noticed the walls until now.
They were roughed out by hand, but I’d seen that before. It was a glimmer that caught my eye. As the past Elliott and I walked forward to the sadness that was about to take place, I realized that there were opals in the walls. We were in an opal mine.
I didn’t have time to process much beyond that, for that’s when the earth started to rumble. We ran for the opening as dirt and dust began to consume us. And just like every other time, I barely made it out.
Elliott didn’t.
I opened my tear filled eyes to Nicholas and a big bowl of buttered popcorn.
“Lilly!” he hurried and sat the popcorn down on the coffee table. “What happened? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I lied and wiped the tears away with my sleeve.
“No you’re not. What happened in the four minutes I was gone?”
I shook my head, unconvincingly. “Nothing. I think I’m just tired.”