30 Days

by Christine d'Abo

  Poof.

  So I’d come to the point in my mind where I would be able to enjoy things for what they were. And if I had a little cry when he eventually moved on, then there was speed dating and hot baristas once I got my emotions sorted. Which was good, because I really wanted to have sex.

  Like, right the hell now.

  Instead I went for a run.

  I’m not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy the exhausted high that comes after I’ve been out on the roads for a good five miles or so. I’d started running when Rob got sick as a way to deal with stress. It also got me through the first six months after his death, a way to burn out my anger before it flared too bright. Finally, it became that thing I did whenever I found myself with too much energy. Halfway through my route, I realized that it was a distinct possibility that I’d substituted running for sex.

  If someone had told me that was going to happen a few years ago, I would have laughed and laughed. And laughed.

  It’s actually quite entertaining to run in Toronto. I like to take the subway down to the lake and run along the shore. There are lots of people coming and going, especially in summer, making it a fun people-watching adventure as well. When I didn’t have time to head all the way down there, I’d simply run through my neighborhood, dodging the other pedestrians and their myriad of purses, backpacks, and purchases.

  One of the more challenging routes took me past the gym. I really hadn’t thought much about the place recently, not until I’d started using the free bag they’d given me for my sex kit. In fact, there was a chance that my membership might actually still be valid. I slowed down to a walk, taking in my sweaty appearance reflected in the window. Inside, the floor was filled with the after-work crowd. I recognized a few of the regulars from when I’d been going consistently, but most of the faces were strangers. I turned to go when I caught a glimpse of Harrison doing chin-ups on the bar near the front desk.

  He worked out daily. This was the closest gym to our building. It made sense.

  In the next moment I walked through the front doors into the air-conditioned room greeted by the scent of sweat, antiseptic, and metal. A young man who barely looked to be in his twenties was behind the desk. His biceps bulged out from the fitted cuffs of the crew shirt he wore.

  “Hi there, welcome. Are you a member?”

  “Hi”—I leaned in to read his name tag—“Brandon. Umm, I had a membership awhile ago, but I don’t actually remember when it expired. Is there a way you can check?”

  “Sure can. If you don’t have your gym card, just give me your details and I’ll look you up.”

  I was only half-paying attention to him and his questions. I took the time to catch glimpses of Harrison from the corner of my eye. It didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t the only woman who was fascinated with his routine. He’d switched from doing chin-ups to push-ups, the muscles in his back and shoulders visible through his sweat-soaked shirt.

  “Here you are. Alyssa Barrow. Yup, you actually have a month and a half left on your current contract. Want me to get you another membership card?”

  Harrison got up when a young brunette came over, smiled, and indicated that she wanted to use the chin-up bar. I watched as she made an attempt, falling to the ground without managing a single one. She then shyly smiled at him, giving a little shrug. Subtle as a sledgehammer, lady. I anxiously waited for him to give her the brush-off, to see her disappointment as she wandered back to the yoga room, or wherever she’d come from.

  Instead, I was treated to Harrison motioning for her to try again, him taking her around the waist and lifting her up as she did five chin-ups.

  “Ms. Barrow?” Brandon looked more than a little terrified when I glanced back his way. “Is everything okay?”

  “Oh yeah, it’s fine. Just saw an old friend. He’s too busy to talk though.”

  I must have spoken far louder than I’d realized because as Harrison helped the woman down, he looked my way. His expression of shock would have been amusing if it weren’t for the brunette taking that moment to place a kiss to his cheek.

  “You jerk.” More than a few people, including the woman, looked my way.

  “Alyssa?” Leaving the woman without a backward glance, he closed the distance between us with only a few strides. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was running by and wanted to check on my membership status. I wasn’t following you, if that’s what you think.” I didn’t give him a chance to answer, snatched my card from Brandon’s hand. “Thank you. I’ll have to see about renewing at a later time.” Then I bolted.

  Why the hell had I stopped my run? I might not have any claims on his time or affections, but I didn’t need to have his flirtations thrown in my face either.

  “Alyssa, wait!”

  I should have known he would be able to catch up to me with my run. Damn long legs and athletic body. “What do you want?”

  “Stop so we can talk.”

  “Nothing to talk about.” He kept pace with me long enough that I knew he wasn’t going to leave me alone. I growled, making my displeasure clear as I slowed to a walk. “Happy?”

  “No.”

  It was then that I realized that his workout attire was even sexier close up and covered in sweat than it had any business being. Thankfully, I was too annoyed at myself to give in to any unsightly temptations, like licking the sweat off his neck.

  For his part, he seemed just as fascinated with my outfit as I was with his. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  “I gathered. And like I said, I wasn’t following you. I’ve had a membership at that place for three years now.” It didn’t matter that I never went. I’d paid!

  “I never thought you were.” He braced his hands on his hips as he stepped into my personal space. “I wasn’t leading that woman on.”

  “No, you were just helping her with her chin-ups. Because that happens every single day at the gym. Random guy. Cute girl. Chin-ups.”

  “Lyssa.”

  I cringed. “Don’t call me that. My name is Alyssa. I’m worth the extra syllable.”

  “You’re right.”

  Then we just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk staring at each other as the crowd moved around us. It was clear that Harrison didn’t know what to say, which I imagined was a new experience for him. Strangely, I didn’t have the same issue.

  Enjoying the slight widening of his gaze, I stepped in so my breasts were flat against his chest. “Damn straight I’m right. I’m worth more than just your passing fancy. We had an agreement, and while I don’t have any claims on you romantically, I don’t want to be sharing you with every gym bunny out there. Otherwise, those blood tests we did were pointless.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone else.”

  I held up my finger, silencing him. “Fine, but if we’re going to continue this, then I’m the one calling the shots. I’m adding to our list of rules. Addendum number one is no other women. If you want to walk away, then fine. Go. I can find someone else to help me.” I made a shooing motion.

  That brought a smile to his face. “Why would I want to go anywhere? We have cards to complete. I accept your addendum.”

  “Good.” I stepped back and crossed my arms in the hopes of hiding my now erect nipples.

  “Any other changes?” He’d stepped closer as a group moved past him.

  “Not yet.” I looked away, embarrassed and excited by my reactions. “I want you to come to my place tonight.”

  “I can do that.” Bastard was starting to sound more than a little smug. I wasn’t sure I liked that.

  “And bring a sports drink or something because I plan to get my fill of you. I want to do two, maybe three cards. More if I’m in the mood.” I risked showing a nipple to poke my finger into his chest. “Got it?”

  “Yes ma’am.” He leaned in and nipped my earlobe. “I won’t let you down.”

  “You better not.” Before I made a complete ass of myse
lf, I took off running at a pace that didn’t look as though I was running away from him. Simply running.

  The moment I turned the corner and made sure that he wasn’t following, I burst into laughter. I didn’t really understand what I’d just done, but I was going with it. Harrison was coming to my place for sex. I was in the driver’s seat and for once wasn’t freaked about the prospect.

  I was in such a good mood, I kept on running.

  17

  It is a terrible thing to feel every muscle in one’s ass. My body needed to remind me that I wasn’t a marathon runner, or even all that in shape, so the next time I felt the need to run like the wind I wouldn’t be such a dork.

  Idiot.

  I’d taken an extra-long shower after limping my way up the stairs of the building to my condo. The hallways were empty, which meant I didn’t have to share my lack of athletic prowess with anyone else. Shit, Harrison was supposed to be coming over sometime tonight for a round of marathon sex. Because I had to be all I’m the woman and you’ll fuck me when I want instead of a rational human being.

  Double idiot.

  Once I’d emerged from the steam like some strange angelic drowned rat, I pulled on a sundress, leaving my bra and panties off. Sure, it wasn’t exactly date clothing, but then again this wasn’t a date. It was a booty call. He was my fuck buddy. A hookup. Friends with benefits. If we actually considered each other friends.

  It would have been nice if we really were—friends, that is. I missed having a guy pal of my own. It wasn’t as though my married buddies were going to ditch their wives to come hang with me or go to an action movie. I could always go with some of the girls, but it was different. I was allowed to be different around men, something I hadn’t realized before now. I was more relaxed, could be a bit more of a dork and not worry about what others thought. Guys were more what-you-see-is-what-you-get than women. At least the women I tended to hang out with. I missed that.

  When the knock came thirty minutes later, I realized I’d been standing in front of my DVD collection fingering my Jason Statham collection. I wondered if I could substitute one of those movies for my pirate porn. Worth a shot.

  “Just a second!” I touched my breasts and hoped that the dress didn’t reveal my nipples too much. I mean there was such a thing as being too anxious. “Harrison, I’m glad you were able to make—” I opened my door and stopped when I realized who was standing there. “Pierce. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.”

  Thankfully, he kept his gaze locked onto my eyes. Shit, I was never going braless ever, ever again. Ever!

  “Ms. Barrow.” He shoved a flyer at me. “Here’s the homeowner newsletter for August. The board has a review of our updated bylaws that you’ll need to take a look at.”

  “Thanks.” I pressed the sheet to my chest. “Bylaws.”

  “I know you’re not one of our more active members, but do please try to read them over. It will save you on fines.”

  “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

  He made a humming noise. “I’ll leave you to get ready for your date.”

  “It’s not a date.” I snapped my mouth shut, not entirely certain why I felt the need to correct him.

  “Oh?” He raised his eyebrow and gave me a once over. “If you say so.”

  “Well, yes. I do.” I couldn’t keep staring at him. “I mean, yeah, I guess it could be a date depending on what definition you were using. But it’s not anything that serious though. It’s just like . . . you know . . .”

  “Sex?” His lips threatened to twist into a smile. “I am aware of what sex is, Ms. Barrow. I’ve even been known to have it on occasion.”

  God, I wanted to die. “I didn’t think you didn’t.”

  “It’s good for you to get out. Rob wouldn’t want you to be alone.” He nodded and walked away.

  Did Pierce just give me permission to have sex? That was . . . strange? Yes, strange was the right word. Probably best if I didn’t dwell on that. I peeked out my door to see if there was any sign of Harrison. Pierce’s footsteps echoed down the hall as he went on his way to visit the other tenants. That was currently the only sign of life.

  The moment I shut the door my phone buzzed. I ran over to the counter and started to laugh when I saw the message. Is he gone?

  Oh, Harrison. Chicken.

  No.

  Yes.

  He makes me feel like I’m a teenager in trouble.

  That’s giving yourself a lot of credit.

  Don’t start.

  Just get over here.

  Yes, ma’am.

  Hot damn, he was coming. I made sure my front door was unlocked before racing over to the couch. I leaned against the cushions, draping my hand along the back. That felt awkward, so I shifted so my legs were stretched out on the couch and I braced my chin against my hand. No, that was too casual. I sat up straight and crossed my legs, which pulled my skirt up past my knees. Too eager.

  The second I heard my door open, I got to my feet, no longer able to sit. Harrison came in, a smile on his face and a bottle of wine in his hand. “Hey.”

  He also looked freshly showered—good thing shower sex wasn’t on the agenda—his black hair still damp and slicked back. He’d put on jeans and a button-up shirt. Either he wasn’t big on T-shirts, or he wanted to treat our encounters as something special. I wasn’t going to argue. I liked the look on him.

  “Hey. Let me get some glasses.” I wasn’t stalling at all. He’d brought wine and I was only being a good hostess.

  “Consider this apology wine. For the chin-up girl.”

  I shouldn’t have been happy that he didn’t know her name, but I was. “I’m sorry too. I totally overreacted.”

  “Maybe a little bit, but you were right. It wasn’t fair to anyone. We have an agreement.” He came over, set the wine bottle down, and took my hand in his. “I made you a deal and I have every intention of sticking to it. No other women.”

  My skin came alive as he began to stroke the inside of my wrist with his thumb. It was one of my erogenous zones, one that never failed to get me going. It was hypnotic to see his thumb moving across the pale skin, slowly back and forth. The scent of his shampoo and the warmth rolling off his body relaxed me as much as it aroused.

  “So.” His voice was a low rumble that seemed to penetrate every cell in me. “What did you have in mind?”

  For once, I’d had the foresight to prepare for things ahead of time. “On the table. I’ll pour us some wine.”

  It was a pretty ambitious list of things I’d hoped to accomplish in one night. But given how things had changed between us today, I wasn’t about to back down. This might have started out as Rob’s sex list for me, but I’d claimed it as my own. Now it was time to prove to myself once and for all that I was ready to move beyond Rob to someone or something new.

  “This is quite the list.” Harrison had picked up the cards and was reviewing them. “I’m glad I brought wine.”

  “It will work well with that first one.”

  “Give a massage with masks.” He frowned. “Why masks?”

  “Rob had a thing for them. Said it gave me a chance to pretend he was someone else. Fuel for my fantasies.”

  He made a face at the objects in question on the table. “Is that a Zorro mask?”

  “It’s all I could find at the sex store. Well, unless you wanted full-on bondage headgear, which, yeah no, not ready for that.”

  “I’d rather be Zorro, thanks. What’s yours?”

  The green sparkly mask had been one I’d picked up when Rob and I had spent a week in New Orleans. The time was more than a little fuzzy, but I do remember lots of food and booze and something about getting a lot of beads. Rob wouldn’t let me wear a bra for almost a week when we’d gotten back. “Mardi Gras 2006. Good times.” I filled our wineglasses and joined him.

  He held my mask as he took the wineglass from me. “You’ve done a lot of planning.”

  “I have.” Well, I’d had a lot of fantasies starr
ing him over the past few weeks. That constituted planning, didn’t it?

  “So you know where you want our little encounter to take place?”

  Unlike some people, I knew Harrison wasn’t angling for a particular outcome. There was no doubt that I was in control of how things were going down. If I’d said yeah baby, I rented a hotel room then he’d be good for that. It was one of the things I appreciated about him.

  My little condo held a lot of memories for me. It was my haven, my little world that had only ever been inhabited by me and Rob. I knew there would come a time when I’d have to have another man here if I was going to truly move forward.

  Ignoring my pounding heart, I took a sip of wine and counted to three in my head before looking up at Harrison. “Well, my bed is a lot more comfortable than the living room floor. I even have fresh sheets on it right now.”

  “Fresh sheets.” He hummed. “That’s a temptation for sure.” I held still as he set down his glass. “Then we better get ready.”

  The mask was cold as he pressed it to my face. I held it still as he tied it in place, my body responding to his nearness. The eyeholes weren’t very big, making it difficult to see all of him. Which was the point if I stopped to think about it. A safe form of mystery and all that.

  “Let’s take this someplace more comfortable.” Abandoning my glass, I took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.

  It wasn’t as difficult as I had assumed it would be, bringing another man into my inner sanctum. I didn’t even hesitate as we crossed the threshold. Though I did pause before leading him to the side of my bed to see it through his eyes. I hoped he liked it. “Here we are.”

  Rather than immediately jump me, Harrison stood still, looking around. I don’t know what he was looking for; it was a pretty typical room. I had several black-and-white nature pictures that I’d picked up over the years, framed and strategically placed on the walls. They nicely balanced against the moss green walls and cream trim. It was quite large for a master bedroom. The far wall was lined with bookshelves, each one filled with some of my favorite books and lined with knickknacks.