I paid for it as quickly as I could before shoving it in my bag along with the other things. The rest of the pictures I wanted to take I could do back at my place, so I hopped on the subway and headed back.
With the running around I’d done, it was already late afternoon. I was starved and in need of food. The timing worked out perfectly with what I had planned next. As I made myself an egg and cheese sandwich, I pulled out a few things that might be fun to play with: a wide-faced spatula, my bottle of honey, and a rolling pin. I didn’t quite know what we could do with the rolling pin, but I knew Harrison would have more than a few ideas. I lined them up, this time positioning them with the card, and snapped the picture.
Day Twenty-five
Use three items from the kitchen
This time I waited for Harrison’s response. I stared at the phone’s screen as I ate my sandwich and then continued on with a bag of chips. When it came, I had to read it a few times before it registered.
I would spank your ass with that and then fuck you with the rolling pin. When you didn’t think you could take any more, I’d turn you over, pour honey on your pussy and lick it off until you screamed.
My hand was between my thighs before I knew it. How was it possible that he could turn me on that fast? I had one more picture left to send him, and after that comment, I wanted to take things to the bedroom. I positioned the Kama Sutra against my pillow and set the dildo and the card beside it.
Day Eighteen
Try a move from the Kama Sutra
I was surprised when I didn’t hear back from him right away. There are a number of logical reasons why he couldn’t respond. It was noon there. Maybe he had to meet with friends, check on his wife, work. Still, when an hour went by and there was still no response, I decided that I couldn’t wait around any longer. Operation Star Wars would have to go on hold and I’d keep my fingers crossed that things would work out.
31
After things had been going so well Saturday, I grew more and more concerned when Harrison didn’t respond. I waited until close to bedtime before I tried sending him another text. At this point I’d been honest enough with both my feelings and desires that at the very least he owed me something.
Even if it was to simply say good-bye.
I fired off a quick, Hey are you okay? and then went for a shower. When I got out, towel wrapped around my head, the indicator light on my phone was flashing. Rather than an apology, or the dick pic I’d been silently hoping for, there was only a quick Ttyt on the screen. Talk to me tomorrow? But what about tonight?
I fell into bed and called Nikki.
Nikki didn’t bother to say hello. “So, how’s it going? Any word from him?”
“We talked.”
I pulled the phone from my ear when she squealed. “And?”
“And I sent him the dildo pictures.”
Another squeal. “Did he love it? Of course he did. Probably thought it was freaking hilarious.”
“He did laugh.” I sighed. I didn’t mean to, but it came out on its own.
“What happened? Do I need to beat this guy up?”
“No. He’s in Calgary anyway.”
“Why the hell is he there?”
“That’s where he’s from and where his ex is. He went back to help her through her cancer scare. That turned out to be not as bad as I thought. She has skin cancer and he said she’ll be okay.”
“She was using it to try to get him back. I’ve seen it before with certain obsessive types. He’s going to need to make a clean break from her. Maybe he should move. I know! He can come back to Toronto and marry you. I bet his company could even move him here.”
The thought had crossed my mind as well, but I refused to get my hopes up. “I’m not going to put that pressure on him. It makes me no better than his ex if I do. If he wants me, wants a relationship with me, then it has to be his decision.”
“Yes. Just keep sending him dildo pictures in the meantime.”
I laughed. “I love you. Thanks.”
“Love you too. I need to make sure my baby sister is happy. You deserve to be happy.”
“So do you. You’ll find your Mr. Right someday.”
“No doubt. I’ll have a lot of fun living vicariously through you in the meantime.”
I hung up and did my best to sleep that night. Instead of rest, I found myself caught in the throes of a series of erotic dreams. Harrison and me naked on a beach, making love by the water. Harrison sitting in the backseat of a convertible with the top down. I climb onto his lap and begin to ride him. Me captured by a pirate and Harrison bursting in wearing army pants and no shirt to rescue me. I had no idea where that last one came from. Not that it mattered, because each dream ended the same. Just as my orgasm approached, I’d wake up and be left with nothing.
I couldn’t even have a proper wet dream anymore.
I gave up trying to sleep at six in the morning and instead made myself a coffee and began to read through the Kama Sutra. Some of the positions were things that looked natural, a few that Harrison and I had even tried. There were others though that you had to be a bit of a contortionist to be able to pull off. Yes, Harrison was in pretty awesome shape, but even he might find some of these challenging.
The human body wasn’t meant to bend that way.
With the book turned on its side so I could better wrap my head around the position, a realization hit me.
I hadn’t thought about Rob in days.
The book became heavy in my hands and I set it down hard on my lap. I’d been so focused on figuring out how to win Harrison back that Rob hadn’t entered my mind once. Not for a moment. Even in the times when he normally would have been my natural reaction. Instead Harrison had quietly come into my thoughts and gracefully took over center stage.
Guilt pushed tears up into my eyes, but I blinked them back down. There was no reason to be guilty for thinking about another man. If anything, I should be proud of myself. Finally I was starting to move on, to live my life once more. I found someone who I knew could make me happy, just as happy as I’d been with Rob. He wasn’t a replica or a replacement; Harrison was something new, different. He brought out a different side of my personality, encouraged me to grow in different ways.
Harrison had brought joy back into my life. I just hoped I’d be able to repay the favor.
Sunday passed slowly. There was still no word from Harrison. I sent him a few messages over the course of the day, and I saw that he did get and read them, but he didn’t respond. I even took one of the blank cards and drew a frown on it and sent him the picture. That did get a response, but it was only a quick, Tomorrow. Promise. Well, I’d waited this long for him, what was one more day?
Torture, that’s what it was.
I’d slept like crap that night, my mind playing out the weirdest scenarios. In half of them I was making love to Harrison. In the other half he was breaking my heart. It was clearly the uncertainty of not knowing where I stood with him, but it pissed me off nonetheless. I deserved some happiness after everything I’d been through. Didn’t I?
My phone buzzed, causing me to open one eye to look at the clock. Shit, I’d put it on vibrate instead of mute. It was five forty-three in the morning. It was probably just a spam e-mail or something. I closed my eye and hoped I could get back to sleep. Another buzz, followed by a third and I reached over to mute the phone. Someone would die once I was awake. Later.
When I woke up it was almost nine-thirty. My muscles ached from having spent far more time in bed than I normally do. I stretched long and stayed that way until I rolled onto my stomach. My phone was precariously balanced on the edge of my nightstand. Scooping it up, I flopped back into my pillows to delete the spam.
Except it wasn’t spam.
It was a text from Harrison. Good morning!
Wow, that would have been two in the morning for him. He must have been up really late working on a project for a client or something. I scrolled down and realized that th
ere were more than three, but over a dozen texts and images. What the hell was he doing?
It’s time for a scavenger hunt!
The next one was actually an image. I had to turn my phone around to see that it was an image of a dark room, lit by what I thought was a laptop. That’s . . . strange. I kept scrolling, reading, and looking, trying to figure out what the hell he was up to.
A picture of a car parked at night.
The lit-up console—oh an Audi, nice—of the car.
A highway? Maybe?
Finally I got to another message. It’s really quiet this time of night. Gives me lots of time to think.
Thinking was good, at least I hoped it was. The message was followed up by another image. This one made me sit straight up in bed. It was the sign for the Calgary airport. I swung my legs out of bed and stood while I scrolled down to the next image. It was an airline attendant holding a ticket. That was followed by a close-up of the ticket. Calgary to Toronto, one-way, arriving at five forty-three in the morning.
“Oh my God, he’s here.” I looked at myself in the mirror and screamed.
It was a happy scream. Except for the part of me that was horrified at what I saw reflected back. I needed to get cleaned up and figure out what to wear. I had no idea where he was or when he was coming to see me. If he was coming. He had to be, right? That was the whole point of flying to Toronto, to see me. God, I hoped so.
I mentally flailed around as I snatched my phone and ran into the bathroom. While I was in the shower, my phone buzzed several more times, and each one sent my heartbeat up another notch. My skin was still damp after a quick toweling off, but I didn’t much care. My fingers shook as I looked through the texts.
The inside of an airplane.
A cup of airplane coffee. I mentally cringed, knowing how crappy those normally were.
The next picture was of the Toronto skyline from the plane. I stopped moving and simply stared at it. Holy shit, he was really, really here.
As I was staring at the screen, another message came through. I assume you’re awake now.
I had to type my response three times to correct my typos. Yes, I am. Where are you??
Not telling. You have to find me. He followed it up with another picture. This one was of the lake. No, not just the lake, the bench by the lake where we’d stopped after the funeral. I hastily got dressed and ran to the subway.
The crowds on the streets and subway were still dense given it was a holiday. There were lots of things going on downtown, which made it that much slower to get where I was going. Without being too much of an impatient bitch, I maneuvered my way out of the underground and walked as quickly as I could to our bench.
Except Harrison was nowhere in sight.
I was tired after running to get here, so I sat down. Maybe he had to step away for some reason. He’d be back. My phone buzzed.
Talk to the man.
Talk to the who?
“Excuse me?” I spun around on the bench to see a man who looked to be in his midforties was standing behind me. He was decked out in running gear, not the type of person who’d be waiting around. “Are you Alyssa?”
“Yes.” My heart skipped a beat.
“These are for you.” He jogged over to a garbage can and picked up a bouquet of flowers that had been hiding on the ground behind it.
They were daisies and they smelled wonderful. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” His grin was infectious. “I get the feeling you’re going to have a good day today.”
“I think so too.” I clutched the flowers to my chest as he continued on his run.
They were beautiful. I buried my nose into the tops of them and breathed in deep. My head filled with their scent and my heart with his love. This was what had been gone from my life for so long now. Passion and fun and silliness and love. I wanted more. More of it, more of him, more, more, more.
My phone buzzed again. Like them?
I love them. Where are you??
Soon. Talk to the woman.
I was on my feet spinning, looking for the next piece to the puzzle. There were lots of people walking around, but none that seemed interested in talking to me.
My phone buzzed. She is working. I think.
Working? There weren’t many people working on Labor Day around here. It wasn’t until I spun around a second time that I caught sight of an elderly Chinese woman who was searching for bottles in a garbage can down the path. Going on assumption only, I walked down the path toward the pier to her.
“Excuse me?” She didn’t respond. “Excuse me. I’m Alyssa.”
She looked up at me, checked me out, and in the next moment grinned widely. Nodding several times, she reached into the top bag from her cart and handed me a ticket. It was for the ferry over to Center Island. It was a holiday so that meant it ran every half hour or so. I had about fifteen minutes to get where I was going.
“Thank you!” I placed a kiss on her cheek for good measure and ran.
The ride from downtown to the island is only minutes long, but it could have been days given how impatient I was to finally see Harrison again. It didn’t help that he was continuously sending me messages.
The ferry on this side has left.
It’s really quite beautiful on the island. Though it would be more so with you here.
Are you on it now? Now?
Wait, I can see the ferry. I want you to go to the bow of the boat and wave for me. I want to see if I can pick you out.
Did you wave??
I raced over to the front and waved as frantically as I could, but I doubted he’d be able to see much of anything given how many people were standing around me. But I looked for him, and with each passing minute my anticipation and excitement grew.
There!
He was close to the edge of the dock and the moment our gazes connected, I saw him grin. His shoulders straightened and he rose up on the tips of his toes for a moment before he turned and walked away.
No! Don’t leave, you jerk!
I’m not going far. Come get me.
I was able to behave myself until I disembarked and stepped foot onto the docks. I tried to see him past the throng of people milling around, trying to get on and off the ferry. I couldn’t, so I decided to head off in the direction I’d seen him go.
Harrison was standing at the end of the pier at the opposite end of the ferry. He stood there, his hip leaning against the metal gate at the entrance. I dodged through the crowd, slipping past everyone until I finally reached him. I didn’t stop until I was nearly pressed against him. How I held back, kept from throwing my arms around him, I’ll never know. Instead, I looked into his eyes and I smiled.
“Hi.” I had to swallow past the ball of emotions that threatened to block my throat. “You’re here.”
His hair had grown longer in the few weeks since I’d seen him last. I couldn’t see his eyes because of the black sunglasses currently perched on the bridge of his nose. It didn’t matter. From the curve of his mouth, that little smirk he’d perfected, I knew the eyes hiding behind those glasses were sparkling. Harrison was up to no good, just the way I liked him.
“Alyssa, Miss All Three Syllables. Would you be interested in joining me for a walk?” He turned and offered me his elbow.
I shifted my bouquet to the other side and slipped my arm through his. “I would love to.”
The moment we started walking, all the tension that had built up in my body over the last two days melted. He was here and I was with him. I stepped closer so our bodies were pressed at the sides.
“I missed you,” I said after a few minutes, needing to get that out of the way. “More than I thought I would.”
“I missed you, too. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d hear from you again.”
“Me either.” The breeze tickled my face, and the smell of fresh cut grass was around us. “You’re really here.”
“Yes.” He chuckled. “Still here.”
“Thi
s isn’t going to come out right, but I’m going to ask it anyway. Why? We fought, again, and I walked away from you. I’d been mean and pigheaded. I thought that was it and you were gone for good.”
He stopped our walk and wrapped his arm around me. “If you really thought that, then why send me the pictures? Why reach out to me at all?”
He really had a way of getting to the heart of the matter. “I found out about your ex-wife. And I remembered how hurt and alone I’d felt when I went through that with Rob. How angry I was at him, at the cancer, how guilty I became for feeling angry. I didn’t want you to go through that alone.”
Groups of people walked around us, spreading like water around a rock in a river. We stood there, and as far as I was concerned, we were the only two people in the world. I’d come this far, understood the consequences of not being one hundred percent honest about my feelings. I couldn’t stop until I said it all.
I took a breath and placed my hand on his heart. “I also realized that I’d made a mistake. You were right. I had been comparing you in my head to Rob and that wasn’t fair. The funny thing is when I thought you were gone, that there was a chance that I’d never see you again, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I wasn’t thinking about Rob at all. Then when I talked to Mr. Le Page I realized that I’d been seeing you and your relationship with your ex through my own ‘widow’ perspective. I was reading things into it that weren’t there. It wasn’t fair to you. I knew that I’d had another chance at something special, something that my sister reminded me doesn’t come around that often, and I’d blown it.”
“No, you haven’t.”
I wanted to laugh, but I knew he’d take it wrong. “Thank you for reminding me of something too.”
“What’s that?” His voice was hushed, but it didn’t hide the crack.
“That love is too precious, too rare to just let it go away. I’d convinced myself that what I had with Rob was my one and only shot at love. That while sex is great, that was all I really had to look forward to. I needed more than that. I need a friend as well as a lover.”
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