Perfectly Broken

by Jullian Scott

  “I need you,” she said abruptly, hurrying to continue. “I want to be with you tonight, Jack. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position. I know I’m a mess and this could be weird for both of us, but I feel like this is something I need to do, something I’m ready to do- with you.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “There’s no hurry, Cass. I would never pressure you to do something you aren’t ready to do.”

  “I’m ready. I’m sure.” She stood and held out her hand.

  Jack took it and let her lead him to the bedroom. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest as they stepped into the dark room. Moonlight streamed through the window and covered Cassie’s skin in an inviting glow. Jack wasn’t sure what to do next as he stood watching her.

  Cassie made the first move, reaching up to unbutton the top button of his shirt. She ran a hand over his chest and he tensed at the surprise of her touch. Her hands went back to the buttons, working their way down. She stopped after the last one and leaned her head against the bare skin of his chest, resting there.

  “Help me do this, Jack,” she said, her breath hot on his skin.

  Gently, he ran a hand along her neck and pushed her silky hair aside, stroking it until she tilted her head back to look up at him. As Jack looked into her eyes, he realized that this was all he would ever need in life. Cassie was all he needed.

  Hours later, Cassie slept with her head on his chest while he lay awake breathing in her scent. His hands continued to gently stroke her soft skin, pausing only briefly on each scar. He wished that his touch could erase those scars.

  Every hour or so, Cassie’s fingers would dig into his arm and she would start to shake. Each time, Jack would stroke her hair and hold her closer. He would promise that he was there and would keep her safe before telling her that he loved her. She would sigh and snuggle closer to him, relaxing in his arms. Jack hoped that he had been right to give into her request, that sleeping with her hadn’t stimulated this chain of nightmares.

  At some point, exhaustion overwhelmed him and he drifted into a restless sleep. During his state of semi-consciousness, Cassie’s soft voice whispered in his ear, “I love you, Jack Stone.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Cassie

  For the first time in a year, Cassie didn’t wake with her heart pounding. Jack lay next to her, his warm body pressed against hers with a protective arm thrown around her. She watched him for a while, marveling at how young he looked in his sleep. She was used to the Jack from the past year, the detective that carried a gun. This Jack was more vulnerable and innocent. Cassie wasn’t sure which Jack she loved more.

  His thick eyelashes fluttered slightly and she hoped that he wouldn’t wake up yet. She wanted the freedom to watch him a little longer, enough time to memorize every inch of him. Jack Stone was the best thing that had ever happened to Cassie and she was unbelievably in love with him.

  Jack had seen her at her very worst when she was powerless and damaged, lying in a hospital bed covered in cuts and bruises. He had looked past all that, past the victim, and seen the real Cassie Miller. For so long now she had felt broken, but with Jack she felt whole again.

  “Stop watching me sleep,” Jack mumbled without opening his eyes. His lips curled in an adorable sleepy smile.

  “Go back to sleep.” She kissed his cheek and slipped out from under his arm. Cassie was suddenly very conscious of the fact that she was naked and exposed. It had been one thing last night under the cloak of darkness, but in the bright morning light she couldn’t hide the ugly scars on her body. She hurried into the nearest piece of clothing which happened to be Jack’s shirt. When she glanced over her shoulder, Jack was watching her with an inexplicable expression on his face.

  “I need some coffee,” she said, looking away quickly.

  “Come back to bed.” Jack held open is arms and gave her an inviting smile.

  Cassie didn’t want to resist, but she was worried that Jack would want to have a meaningful conversation about how she was feeling. Or possibly he might want to talk about her scars. Neither of those were topics she wanted to discuss.

  “I’ll make us some breakfast,” she said, pretending not to notice the hurt that flashed over Jack’s face.

  While she got the coffee brewing, Cassie flipped on a small television on the kitchen counter. She watched the morning news in between omelet steps and sips of coffee. A serious reporter was on site at a raging fire in the neighboring town of Harrisburg.

  After placing two omelets on the kitchen table, she refilled her coffee and poured a mug for Jack. Just as she started across the room with them in hand, the broadcaster disappeared and the sketch of a man flashed on the screen. Both mugs fell from her hand and shattered on the wood floor, sending hot liquid in every direction.

  “Cass?” Jack was at her side in a second. “What’s wrong, darling?”

  She pointed silently at the television. The broadcaster was reporting the grisly details of another murder. They kept showing the sketch, the same sketch that had been drawn based upon Cassie’s description of her abductor. “He’s back,” she said, surprised at how calm her voice sounded.

  “Shit.” Jack reached for her, but she jerked away.

  “Did you know about this?” She hugged her arms over her chest as she glared at him. “This happened yesterday, before you arrived. Did you know another woman had been found?”

  “No, of course not.” Jack held up both hands and stepped forward slowly. “I swear, Cass. I had no idea. I haven’t even looked at my phone since I left Chicago.”

  A shiver ran through Cassie’s body and her knees began to shake. She could feel her skin burning where the coffee had splashed her bare legs. Jack reached for her again and this time she let him pull her into his arms. He held her until her heart stopped racing and her breathing became more regular.

  “Did you burn yourself?” he asked, pulling away to look at the mess she had created.

  “I’m fine.” But her legs were covered in coffee and they were sticky and itchy.

  Jack quickly scooped her up, hefting her weight easily. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  He carried her into the bathroom and set her on the cool tile. While he reached into the shower to turn on the water, Cassie took several deep breaths as the adrenaline began to leave her body.

  “Shower,” he said, stroking her cheek softly with the tips of his fingers. “I’ll go clean up the kitchen.”

  Cassie waited until Jack was gone before unbuttoning her shirt with numb fingers. A million thoughts were running through her head as she stepped under the water. So many emotions were hitting her all at once.

  Last night had been wonderful. Amazing in ways that other people could never understand. After what had happened to Cassie, she had thought she would never experience that kind of intimacy again. But Jack had done everything exactly right. He had waited until they were both sure she was ready, but even then it had taken her by surprise. She had expected it to be emotional, but she hadn’t anticipated how her body would respond. She would never let Jack know that she’d had to keep staring into his eyes the entire time just to remind herself that it was him on top of her and not that other man.

  The shower tiles were cool when she pressed her forehead against them. She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to chase away all the terrible thoughts building in the back of her brain. She must have been lost in her own head longer than she realized because Jack came back to check on her.

  “Cass, you alright?”

  His voice was clear and louder than Cassie expected. It took her a second to realize that he had opened the shower door. She kept her back to him, shooting an anxious look over her shoulder while fighting back a shiver. He was trying to hide it, but his face betrayed that he was worried. Cassie couldn’t seem to find her voice to tell him that she was fine.

  “Cass…” Jack was having trouble finding the right words, too. His eyes never left her face. “Do you want me to go?”

 
; “No.” It came out in a whisper. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried again. “Stay.”

  She ducked her head back under the water and closed her eyes. Cassie didn’t turn around until she heard the shower door shut. Jack was there, looking strong and perfect. He moved slowly, stepping closer and sliding a hand along the curve of her neck, his thumb stroking over her chin and along her jaw.

  “Breathe,” he said, his lips turning up in a soft smile. Cassie hadn’t even realized that she was holding her breath. She let it out slowly as she leaned into his touch. As he held her face, Jack looked deep into her eyes and asked, “Do you trust me?”

  Her answer came without hesitation. “Yes.”

  “Good.” Jack nodded once and kissed her gently on the lips. His hand moved from her face, down her neck and over the curve of her collarbone. She sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes as his hand traveled down her side, headed for the worst of the scars.

  “Breathe, Cass.” Jack kissed her again. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  Cassie bit hard on her lip as his hand skimmed over the jagged pink flesh. No one had touched those scars since her last doctor visit over nine months ago. Even Cassie couldn’t bear to touch them. But Jack’s fingers traced them lightly and purposefully, following their uneven path over her stomach. Specialists had told her they would fade in time. Some of the less severe scars had already begun to lighten, but she knew that they would never completely disappear.

  As Jack’s hands traveled the length of the scars, Cassi almost began to believe that he was erasing them. Her skin tingled, a thrilling reverberation from his touch. When his hand fond the end of the last scar, the one that curled under her right breast, he kept it pressed there, looking hard into her eyes.

  Then he took her hand and put it on his stomach. She felt a small puckering of his skin as he moved her hand along the curve of his abdominal muscles. “We both have scars, Cass. We’ve both been hurt by people.”

  She bent down and pressed her lips over his scar, wondering who had hurt him. It seemed impossible that anyone could ever want to hurt someone as amazing as Jack. When she straightened and looked into his eyes, she was overwhelmed by the love she found there.

  “You are so amazing. Perfect.” He gave her a shy smile. “How did I get so lucky?”

  Cassie put her hand on his chest just over his heart. She could feel it beating steady and strong. “We’re both broken in the same way.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Jack

  Cassie was, without a doubt, the best thing that had ever happened to Jack. He was sure that if she hadn’t come along, he would have ended up alone and addicted to alcohol. While she claimed that he had saved her, Jack knew the truth. With her, he strived to be better, to be worthy of her. When Cassie looked at him, she didn’t see a thirty-something divorcé who drank too much. Cassie saw the version of him that he had always wanted to be. She made him a better man.

  Eventually, they made their way back to the kitchen and ate a late breakfast. This time, Jack did the cooking while Cassie pulled herself onto the counter and sipped coffee as she watched him work. Her dark hair was still damp, falling in waves past her shoulders.

  “I could get used to this,” she said with a grin that flashed her dimples.

  “Good. I plan on sticking around.” He took her mug and helped himself to a big sip of coffee before handing it back to her. “Now stop distracting me.”

  “I’m not doing anything!” she protested with wide, innocent eyes.

  Jack’s heart thumped happily as he smiled at her. “You don’t have to do anything, darling. Your existence is all that is required to capture my attention.”

  “You are very charming, Detective Stone.” She slid off the counter and came over to him. Lightly touching his arm, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “For the record, I plan on never letting you go.”

  After eating, they took a long walk through town. Cassie insisted on showing Jack everything about her new town. Dayton was small enough that all the important locations could be reached on foot. It was easy to see why she had chosen it for her new home. The people were friendly, but not meddlesome. They waved and said hello to her, but none of them questioned her about Jack.

  They held hands as they strolled across the center of town, as innocent and happy as school children. Cassie was ready for a second round of coffee and Jack obediently followed her into the only diner in town. They pulled up seats at the counter and their drinks arrived without ceremony. Patrons sat around the diner eating, chatting, and reading newspapers. A few stared silently at the lone television in the corner.

  “I could get used to this place,” Jack said, taking in the quiet but welcoming atmosphere. Cassie pursed her lips and blew on her coffee. Her hair cascaded in messy waves down her back and she looked young and carefree in her worn jeans and plain white t-shirt. Jack could feel himself falling in love with her all over again.

  “You’re staring,” she said without looking away from her coffee.

  “It can’t be helped,” Jack said with a shrug. “You’re easy to stare at.”

  As she took a sip of coffee, one hand snaked over and squeezed his leg just above the knee. “You can stop with the flattery, Stone. I already slept with you, remember?” Her smile was a wonderful tease.

  “That’s not something I’ll ever forget.” He bit hard on his cheek as Cassie’s hand moved slowly up his thigh. She stopped abruptly when the waitress appeared with a refill.

  “Did you hear the news?” she asked with a snap of pink gum. She gestured to the television. “They found another dead girl in the city.”

  Cassie’s fingers dug into his leg. Her eyes were instantly filled with terror. The innocent, happy Cassie vanished before his eyes.

  “We heard,” Jack said stiffly, hoping the waitress would take the hint that they weren’t in the mood to talk about it.

  “So gruesome,” she continued, oblivious to Cassie’s distress. “That poor girl didn’t stand a chance. Did you ever hear what happened to that one victim that survived last year? I bet she’s real messed up from the whole thing. Just imagine what this guy probably did to her…” She made a big deal of shaking her head in disgust.

  Jack was already reaching for his wallet when Cassie shoved away from the counter. He flipped a twenty on the table and told the waitress to keep the change before hurrying after Cassie. She was already outside, leaning hard against the wall of the diner with her head tilted back as she sucked in heavy breaths. Her eyes were closed and Jack watched helplessly as she battled the panic attack.

  When she finally looked at him, she had gone shockingly pale. Jack opened his arms and she fell into them. She fit against his body as if she had always been there. He stroked her hair and waited for her to catch her breath.

  “He’s always going to control a part of me, isn’t he?” she asked with her face still pressed into his chest.

  “Not if I can help it.” He tightened his arms around her and forced down a shudder of rage. If he ever found the man that had done this to her, he wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself. This was a big reason why he was never supposed to form a personal relationship with the victims. “How can I make you feel better, Cass?”

  “You’re already doing it,” she said, pulling back slightly to look at him. “Just keep being you. Keep being here.”

  “Done.” He planted a soft kiss on her forehead. “You ready to go home?”

  “Actually… we need to make a stop first.” A bit of light had returned to her eyes. “There’s some people I want you to meet.”

  He noticed that this time her smile reached her eyes. “I’m intrigued. Let’s go.”

  She took his hand and led him across the square, heading for a small storefront with a sign that said simply “Library.” A few parents stood with their children just outside the door and they all waved at Cassie as they got closer.

  “You’re taking me to the town library?” he said, ent
irely confused.

  “This is my library,” she said proudly. To the kids, she said, “Are you guys ready for an adventure?”

  They all nodded and chorused excitement. Cassie was grinning as she pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked the glass door. She held it open for each family to file inside.

  “Care to join us?” she said to Jack with a playful smile.

  “What is this?” he said, peering inside. Several large bookcases wrapped around the interior. The shelves were packed with brightly colored books.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never been to a library?” She pretended to be horrified.

  He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, Cass. Be serious for a second. What’s going on here?”

  “When I moved here, I was surprised to learn that the town doesn’t have a library. Not even the school. I got some donations and raised some money and opened my own.” She tapped a hand on the glass etching and now Jack could see that the sign actually said, “Miller’s Library.”

  “You opened your own library for the town?” He chuckled softly. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “It’s only open on Saturdays. I can’t afford a staff and I work during the week. But we get a pretty good turnout, and a lot of kids come by for Story Hour.” She lifted his hand and checked the time on his watch. “Which starts in ten minutes. Quit stalling.”

  She gave him a light shove inside.

  Jack spent the next ten minutes slowly perusing the library. He marveled at how much Cassie had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. Children’s books covered an entire wall of the library, organized by age group and genre. In one corner, small tables had been set up where kids could flip through books. The other walls were all filled with adult books of every possible genre and the other three corners all had small lounge areas for readers to get comfortable.

  Cassie was setting up a chair in one of the corners and children had gathered on the floor in front of her. Their parents were milling around, catching up on the latest gossip. Jack stayed close to them, listening to their hushed conversations. Once a detective, always a detective.