Adrenaline Crush
Page 14
Miss announces we’ll be finishing up by revisiting the one-word descriptions we each gave ourselves on our first day.
“So, Dyna, you used the words ‘fine’ and ‘okay,’” she says. “What do you think now?”
I say, “Um, I wasn’t fine or okay that day.”
Polly says, “Yeah, we remember.”
We laugh and Miss asks me what I choose as my word today. I allow my eyes to land on Pierce. We smile at each other and I say, “‘Awake.’ Today my word would be ‘awake.’”
“Good,” Miss says.
“Can I get my certificate now?” I ask and she laughs.
Frank is next and his “unemployed” has now become “purposeful.” He did such a great job on his “Don’t Text and Drive” talk that he’s managed to book a number of gigs and is hitting the road. “I can’t believe how rewarding it is to talk to teenagers,” he says, grinning at me. “They’re like these funny, awkward creatures that I enjoy being around.”
Sparky is still “Sparky,” of course, but he’s also “budding” now that he’s been able to help harvest the fall vegetables on his farm. Polly looks over at him and twirls the sunflower he brought her today. They smile at each other, and it’s clear Sparky’s not the only thing in the sharing circle that’s budding.
Polly says, “I still have my anger issues…”
Rita nods, holding up the sign of the horns, and we laugh.
Polly gives Rita a look of affection and goes on, “But now I know how I deserve to be treated. So, instead of being ‘pissed’ over what brought me here, I guess I’d have to call myself mostly ‘blessed’ today.”
Rita proclaims she’s now “abundantly blessed” for getting to know all of us before she departs. She tells us about a type of moth that emerges from its cocoon with no mouth parts for drinking nectar. “From the moment it gets its wings that moth begins to starve to death. But just think of all those caterpillars who never even get to fly.” She tips her face upward. “Oh. That moth,” she says. “It makes it all the way into the sky!”
Rita’s heartbreaking moth makes me think of Alexander Supertramp. He may have starved to death, but at least he made it into the wild.
Looking around at my beautiful patched-together group of broken, hopeful people, I realize—his fatal mistake was going alone.
EPILOGUE
“Three … Two … One!”
“Eeeeeee!” I scream as I plummet through the air.
My big brother is strapped to my back and a parachute is strapped to his. I just stepped out of an airplane and I’m a bit preoccupied with the falling sensation that is really more of an overwhelming full-body experience than a simple sensation. I can’t breathe as the wind batters my face and roars in my ears.
“Keep your eyes open,” Harley instructs calmly behind me. “Embrace every second.”
“I’m trying,” I call. “I’m just freaking out!”
He laughs. “Don’t make me embarrassed to say we’re related. Your friends are handling this better than you are.”
I stretch my neck as far back as I can and look above us through the enormous goggles I’m wearing.
Sure enough, there’s Pierce strapped to his tandem jumper, arms outstretched with one leg of his flight suit pinned back. He shouts a loud “Hell, yeah!” and waves at me with the hugest grin ever. I whimper in response.
Above Pierce, so small I can barely make them out, are Frank and Miss with their guides. I recognize Rita’s ringing call, “Rock on!” from the plane. She’s amazing her doctors, hanging in to see spring unfurl.
Just like she promised.
“It’s the way I want to remember this world,” she says as she keeps right on living. Loving her is a huge risk, knowing the empty place she will leave.
But I do not hold back
or protect myself.
I love that old lady like crazy.
Just like the rest of my mismatched gang of supporters. Polly and Sparky opted to keep their feet on the ground for this one, and Miss is just fine with that. It seems her radical pursuit of the Struggle has been tempered a bit by nearly getting her entire therapy group electrocuted. Then again, skydiving as a rule should probably always be optional.
My parents are down on the ground, too, watching us with their motorcycles parked nearby. We’re still getting used to the news that Harley got into the Air Force Academy. He leaves for Colorado in a few months and it’s a huge challenge to trust that he’ll be safe, but I’m learning to have faith. Besides, I look at the landing field far below us, it’s not as if his life was ever risk-free.
My lower leg tingles, reminding me of the awesome tat I got from Dad last week. He highlighted my scar to look like a tree branch surrounded by bright blue butterflies that are so detailed you’d swear they can fly. Written in a swirl along the branch is my own version of the family motto:
The greatest risk of all … is taken with the heart.
I glance back toward Pierce. Loving him is so scary.
But he’s worth the risk.
The two of us push each other to go deeper, farther, higher, and he tells me every day
how remarkable I am.
And you know what?
He’s right I kind of am.
Adrenaline stings my tongue as I look out at the widest view I’ve ever experienced. My mountains stand watching, unmoving, and I give myself over to the fall. Trust that the chute will be there when we need it.
My wide-stretched arms embrace the whole world.
I’m connected to nothing and everything all at once.
I breathe sky now.
I am not afraid.
I am alive and I am soaring.
Free.
Pierce gives a hearty “Hoo-Ah!”
and my laughter punches the air.
“That’s it.” Harley senses the shift in me. “There’s that Dynamite.”
Yes,
here I am.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To the incredible Margaret Ferguson, Ammi-Joan Paquette, Susan Dobinick, and the teams at FSG and EMLA: thank you for making this amazing journey possible. And to Ben Liotta, James Spadola, Eddie Boyle, and all those veterans who have left pieces of themselves in faraway places: you are beyond remarkable.
Special thanks for help from Dr. Lorri Lankiewicz, Ellen DeMonte, MSN, RN, and the generous clerks at the Haviland-Heidgerd Historical Collection in New Paltz. Any factual errors here are my own. To talented writer folks Alison, Amanda, Michelle2, Kristin, and Shana, and to my wonderful extended family: the Boyles, Giels, Courtneys, Spadolas, Bateses, Melansons, and Pirros: thank you all for keeping me “on belay.”
Always and forever to Trinity and Aidan, who teach me more about love every day: you’re both my favorite. And especially to Brett: you rode into my life on a big black Harley and have taken me on the greatest adventure. Thank you for being you.