“It’s got running water doesn’t it? Electricity? You have a fucking television, Cole.” Kiernan rolled his eyes at Cole’s huffing and puffing over being called out.
“Oh, shove it.” Eryn laughed. “Both of you have given in to luxury. Made yourselves a couple of princes over there in America. You should come back to the days of straw beds and cooking over an actual fire, hearing the wind howl through the cracks in the walls.” Eryn was smiling as he started to clean his bow off and make sure it was ready.
“I think sleeping in the mud with you two over the next day or so will be enough for me. I like air conditioning, and I like my bed.” Kiernan grabbed a protein bar from his bag to chew on.
“I spend more time outside than Kiernan does in his sixth floor apartment in Seattle. It would take him a couple of hours just to get to the woods. I walk out my back door and boom, I’m there.” Cole zipped his pack back up. “And, for the record, I like my microwave and watching fights on pay-per view.” They all laughed.
“Some of the modern inventions are helpful, I admit that. But we’ve lost the freedom. We used to be able to come across any village and take what we wanted, food or women or livestock, and burn the rest. The known world quaked at the mention of the Laochra.” Eryn shrugged, “We were like gods among men, and blood and fear were our bread and water.”
Kiernan’s memories of those times when Gormahn’s power over them was total were scattered images and short clips of violence that he tried not to think about. Eryn seemed to remember everything so clearly and he reveled in it.
“There are parts of the world where we can still do that.” Cole said, and Kiernan hid the flinch the words brought.
“Yeah, but they’re shrinking. Every year man gains control over another part of the land. They talk of peace like it’s some great destiny, and they deny the fact that we’re all just animals walking upright. We need the blood and the violence to survive, and the weak either serve the strong or die beneath our heels. This civilization they crave does nothing but mask our true natures.” Eryn’s cold, matter-of-fact voice sent chills down Kiernan’s back. He was a zealot for Gormahn’s vision of the world, one where man gave in to its true nature. Where everyone took what they wanted because they could, where the strong overwhelmed the weak. Kiernan had been a part of that vision, but he knew deep down that he wasn’t anymore. He recognized the responsibility of the strong to protect the weak, and he wanted to do that, he wanted to be that person. The realization surprised him. If he wanted that, what did it mean for him? If he didn’t want to be Laochra, to stand for Gormahn’s beliefs, then what was he? Who was he?
“Kiernan, man, you’ve got to stop zoning out.” Cole was waving a hand in front of his face. “I’m seriously worried you’re going to end up something’s dinner.”
Kiernan kicked his leg out and swept Cole’s feet out from under him, he hit the ground hard and Kiernan laid the combat knife against his throat. “I’ll be just fine, Cole.” Removing the knife to the sound of Eryn’s laughter, Kiernan stood up and pulled Cole to standing.
“You didn’t have to make the point so bluntly.” Cole rubbed his back, grimacing, and Kiernan just grinned at him.
Eryn’s eyes grew wild as he lifted the bow to his shoulder, his smile widening to a manic level, “Enough joking boys, let’s hunt.”
Chapter Five
Ráj Manor, Caledon, Ontario
Fae woke the next morning in the warm glow of Eltera’s power. Her body lit up like always, a shimmering golden light that emanated from her skin, and she tried to focus on it and make it last. Just as the power was cresting, the lingering exhaustion inside her fading, Ebere appeared in the entryway to the little nook she occupied. Fae sighed and pushed herself into a sitting position, crossing her legs on her cot.
Each of them had one of these little nooks, barely eight feet by four feet. Enough room for their tiny beds, and a few scavenged items that they claimed as possessions. All Fae had in hers was a white stone with a hole in it that she’d found working in the garden, and a battered copy of Brave New World that made its way around the girls at random.
“Morning, Fae…” Ebere whispered and sat down against the doorframe. She was twisting her fingers together, her eyes occasionally flicking to the fading light on Fae’s skin before returning to her nails.
Fae dropped her head back against the wall and blew out a breath, and mumbled, “Morning.”
“Look, I’m really so-”
“No.” Fae cut her apology off instantly, and Ebere slapped the floor beside her.
“Damn you, Fae!” Ebere hissed, trying to stay quiet enough to not wake the other girls, “You should have let me take part of the punishment! It was my choice to help you. I didn’t wake you when I saw you had fallen asleep and -”
Fae started laughing bitterly to herself, shaking her head at Ebere who started stumbling over her words in her anger. Instead of letting the girl continue to founder, Fae started talking. “You really don’t get it, Eb. Butler was looking for me. He didn’t accidentally stumble on me in the fucking laundry. He tried to find me upstairs, and when he couldn’t he watched the security footage to see where I went. You were trying so hard to confess, to get him to punish you instead, but he already knew you’d helped me and he didn’t care.”
“But… but why? Why come after only you when he knew that I’d helped you? Why not me?” Ebere’s earnest confusion came out in the stress of her voice.
“Because you wouldn’t heal by the party tonight.” Fae extended her arm, the fading aura of light still visible even in the dimmed lamps from the main room. “He wanted to hurt someone, and he needed someone that Master wouldn’t be upset about. Lena probably assigned me to the East wing because she knew it was impossible for one person to finish in that time, especially knowing that Master was going to punish me for the breakfast thing once she and Alec reported it.”
“…and when you didn’t finish Butler could do a check and deliver his own punishment.” Ebere sighed and rubbed her hands across her face. “That bitch. I – I’m so angry, that’s even more of a reason why I should have taken part of it. They can’t set you up like that, I mean, my God, Fae, you can’t keep that up!”
“I’ve been doing it -”
“For two thousand years. Yeah, I get it.” Ebere threw her hands up. “I get it, okay? You’re the product of some ancient goddess’ messed up plan for peace, and maybe you were originally supposed to protect people – but you have to stop, Fae. Stop trying to protect all of us, just stop. Protect yourself for once!”
“I don’t need protecting, you do. All of you do.” Fae felt like she was pleading with the girl to come to her senses. “Trust me, I can handle it. I’m fine, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. You have to stop throwing yourself in the line of fire, because I know it hurts just as much regardless of whether or not you’re fine in the morning.” She muttered under her breath and then continued, “I don’t want you to get hurt anymore. Not for me, not for any of us. Promise me you’ll stop. Please, Fae, please promise me you’ll stop.”
She tried to fight back the tears that suddenly burned the corner of her eyes. How long had it been since someone, anyone, had actually cared about her? Cared enough to lecture her like she was a child? She was a hundred times this girl’s age and Ebere was talking to her like a little sister. It was so unexpected that for once, Fae was at a loss for what to do for a moment. It all made a smile creep across her lips. “I can’t promise I’ll stop, Eb. I’ve spent too many lifetimes using myself as the shield, but I can try.”
“Promise me you’ll try then.” Ebere shifted closer to the bed, moving to her knees so they were almost face to face. Then she reached up and grabbed Fae’s hand in a tight grip and Fae saw the threat of tears in the other girl’s eyes - that almost undid her completely. “Please, just promise me you’ll try and take care of yourself.”
“Okay. I promise.” The words choked out as Fae fought the emotion down
, and Ebere gripped her hand once more before she stood.
“Okay then.” She nodded and stepped towards the door, but then she looked back and said, “I like you, Fae, and I think we could be close. We could be great friends. You could have a lot of friends if you – if you’d just let someone in. While you’re trying to take care of yourself, think about that.”
Fae opened her mouth to respond, but Ebere had already slipped back into the main room to wander back to her own nook. The girl’s words were a heavy weight inside her. She’d had friends before, she’d cared about mortals, loved them like family – and then they had died. That was the trouble with mortals, they died.
‘But how’s your life going without any friends?’ Her mind piped up, and Fae cursed herself.
The walls she’d built up around her had kept her numb. Numb to the things they did to her, numb to her past, numb to the suffering of the women and men around her. It had let her survive – but surviving wasn’t living.
“Eltera?” Fae whispered into the dark, looking up at the ceiling and trying to focus on the images of the goddess burned into her memory. A few tears slipped out and she pushed them off her cheeks as she steeled herself to pray. “I don’t know what you’d tell me to do. I don’t know if any of what I’ve done has been right, or if you can even see us anymore. I know –” her voice broke as more tears slipped down her cheeks and she brushed them away quickly. Sniffling and clenching her fists in her lap she continued. “I know this was not in your plan, and I would never blame you for this curse. I know that this was my fault, our fault for failing you in the battle, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do, Eltera, and no matter what I just feel like I’m continuing to fail you. I feel if I were just stronger, if I were just braver, I could handle this with grace. I could bear this burden and continue to help others, to protect the weak – but what if I can’t?”
There was a dull ache in the center of her chest as she tried to stop the tears. She was speaking in the old language, and she knew even if one of the girls was listening they wouldn’t understand the words, but the sniffling and the hitch in her voice was obvious to anyone who cared to eavesdrop. Fae knew if she hadn’t cracked open the door on her past the day before that Ebere’s words wouldn’t have hit her so hard. The words wouldn’t have summoned images of her Faeoihn sisters smiling, and laughing, and joking with her about being so damn serious. She wouldn’t be thinking of all the ones she’d helped over the centuries, and she wouldn’t be haunted by the ones she’d lost.
Fae brushed her thumb over the pale blue veins in her wrist. Her skin was once more just skin. No light, no power thrumming inside her – just skin. Her eyes moved back to the ceiling, wondering for the millionth time if Eltera could hear her, “What if – what if I’m doing the wrong thing? Would you give me a sign? Would you tell me to stop? To lay down my arms, stop fighting, and submit? Please, please Eltera, just give me a sign?”
She fell silent, and the quiet of the female quarters rolled in to fill the space her prayers had vacated. There was the blurred sound of more than a dozen girls breathing, shifting in their beds, the dull white noise of the heat coming on – and nothing else.
No golden light, no scent of rain or earth, no claps of thunder.
Nothing.
Fae tried to stifle the tears as they overtook her. She felt so alone. She was alone, but Ebere was trying to reach out. Others had tried too and she had been kind, but kept them all at a distance. These fragile little mortal lives that would only hurt her in the long run if she cared, but what could they be to her in the mean time if she let them in?
‘Friends’, Ebere’s words echoed in her mind.
They could be friends, if she would just let them. If she would just let them in, if she’d actually talk to them, give them real answers, maybe her days wouldn’t feel so hollow. As Fae curled back up on her side, she sniffled again and the edge of her mouth ticked up a bit. Yes, Ebere wanted to be her friend, but if she was her friend then there was no way that Fae could do what she’d asked; friends protected each other. It didn’t mean Fae couldn’t try and be more careful with herself, but she wouldn’t give up on helping these girls.
As soon as she’d been able to get out of the female quarters she’d found Irena and followed her, because she’d needed to be around the pixie’s bright energy after her heavy morning. Watching Irena and Juliet hanging their decorations and fluffing up their bouquets around the house was an easy distraction. Strands of lights were hung throughout the house, woven together with garlands over doorways and down the stairs. How long it had taken for Irena to do it all, Fae wasn’t sure, but it did look impressive. Juliet’s eyes were fever bright as she kept up with the pixie, a mix of the third dose of Oblivion and her own excitement over the decorations.
“Can you believe how beautiful it all is? It reminds me of Christmas!” Juliet was giggling and excited as Irena swooped down and landed next to her, they hugged each other tightly and bounced up and down laughing.
“It’s perfect! Just how I imagined it!” Irena’s wings were twitching with her infinite supply of energy. “Fae, you love it right? Tell me you love it.”
“I love it.” Fae smiled, glad to see her happy on the day of a dinner party. Maybe Nikola would let her decorate for each of them; that would be a bright spot to look forward to. Irena was still staring at her, impatiently waiting for more comments, and Fae scrambled to fill the void. “Ummm, it’s gorgeous, Irena, magical. The white flowers and the evergreens, it really looks like a winter festival. You positively transformed the house.” That seemed to satisfy the pixie who was fluttering about six inches off the floor in her pride.
“Juliet weaved the lights in all of the garlands!” Irena grinned, and Juliet blushed and high fived her.
“It was all your idea, but it was fun.”
Just as they were all giggling, Butler stepped into the foyer from the huge parlor room and closed the double doors behind him. They went silent as he stared at them, and then he tilted his head, “I believe you are all supposed to be getting ready for this evening.”
“Yes, sir,” they all mumbled.
“Then get upstairs and do it,” he growled. Juliet and Irena immediately clasped hands and rushed towards the north stairs to get back to the female quarters. As Fae stepped past Butler he held out his hand to stop her. “I’ve been asked to watch you tonight. I suggest you do nothing foolish, but if you do,” he paused, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth, “I’ll be there to make sure you regret it.”
“Thanks, Butler,” Fae muttered. She couldn’t feel the punishment from the day before anymore, but she remembered it completely.
“Sir,” he corrected her.
“Thank you… sir,” she muttered, and he nodded. Fae clenched her jaw and walked past him, jogging to catch up with Irena and Juliet. Those two were inseparable and still whispering about their decoration scheme as they topped the stairs. The din of noise coming through the doors to the female quarters was loud, and the guard at the door opened it as they approached.
Then the three of them stepped into chaos.
All of the girls were talking in a hodgepodge of accents in a relatively small space, some were sitting on the floor while others twisted and shaped their hair into various styles that matched them best. Others were applying make-up to each other, or filing their nails, or applying clear polish. Nikola wanted to show off his collection to his guests at the party, and Lena wanted to make sure they were perfect. She was red-faced when she saw the three of them standing awkwardly near the door.
“Irena! Fae! Juliet! You are late!” She hurried over and pushed them towards the showers. “Hurry and shower so we can get you ready. You only have an hour. Remember, white dresses, and make sure one of the twins does your make up.” She snapped her fingers and turned back into the room to go yell at someone else, probably about eye liner or lip gloss.
The important things in life.
The three of them sh
owered fast and when they were drying off, the twins, Sobeska and Zofie, stepped in the doorway with big smiles. They already looked gorgeous with their dark hair falling in waves and their olive skin shimmering under the light thanks to the lavender powder they brushed on. Small crystals had been clamped into their hair and the effect was that they both looked like winter nymphs.
Fae grabbed one of the white dresses and Zofie laughed and grabbed her hand to pull her into the main area again as she tried to pull it on. “You’re lucky you are so beautiful already, otherwise I may not have time to fix you.” Her Eastern European accent was still thick, like she and her sister just refused to lose it.
“I didn’t realize how late it was Zofie, sorry.” Fae actually did feel bad that Zofie was rushing to get her ready. She didn’t make a peep as the girl tore a hair brush through her tangles and dried it as much as possible. Zofie twisted two small braids from the front of her hair around the sides to bring them together in the back, weaving little white flowers into the braid. A few clamped crystals in the rest of her hair finished it. Then came the make-up which Zofie used to draw attention to her blue eyes with heavy liner. Finally, a sparkling lavender powder was lightly dusted on her arms, legs, and across her neck and chest. It made them all look ethereal as they lined up in the room. Every shade of skin tone, tall and short, curvy and straight – they were beautiful. As was expected. Lena seemed almost on the verge of tears she was so happy when she looked them over. Somehow in all the chaos Lena had done her own makeup as well, and she looked completely put together as always.
Fae really hated that about her.
“Remember girls, you represent our Master tonight. This is your chance to shine and make his guests feel welcome. Each of these guests contributes to his success, and his success is yours.” Fae rolled her eyes as Lena clapped her hands. “Alright, come on, follow me.”
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