Fae

by Jennifer Bene

  “Kiernan,” she repeated, “Got it.” Fae nodded and grabbed the bags of clothes, tucking the sword under her arm. Then she walked backwards a few steps toward the hallway to his room. When he didn’t start to follow her she turned and walked the rest of the way to his room where she shut and locked the door.

  “Kiernan.” Fae muttered the name to herself as she dropped the bags to the floor. It was a nice name, and it fit him. She was confused for a moment as she started to pull the clothes out. She’d expected dresses, short skirts, and items that barely counted as garments at all. Instead she pulled out jeans in a couple of sizes, some soft sweaters, some normal long-sleeved shirts, and a whole bag of socks and undergarments. In one of the bags were three boxes of shoes in different sizes, she found a pair that was a little loose but she was able to get the laces tight enough that they wouldn’t slide off. The shoes matched the ones he wore.

  “He must only know where to find this kind,” she muttered to herself and then took them back off to get dressed. After slipping on a pair of jeans she tugged a dark gray sweater on and instantly felt warmer.

  She stepped into his bathroom and was surprised at how normal she looked. Slaves didn’t dress like this or look like this. People looked like this. Normal people. She tugged her fingers through her tangled hair, and then gave up as she was only making it frizzy. Sitting down on the floor she decided to put on the shoes again in case she wanted to leave, because whether or not she had a temporary peace with this Laochra, this Kiernan – she’d made no promises to stay after their conversation.

  With a deep breath she grabbed the sword again and walked back into the living room, Kiernan had flipped the TV off and was sitting in a big black chair to the side. He was still drinking the water and rubbing his head when he noticed her coming in and looked up. His mouth opened a little and he stared at her like he had that morning when he’d first appeared near her in the snow.

  “You look -” Kiernan stopped himself and cleared his throat, sitting up in the chair before saying, “I mean, they fit? It all fits?” Fae nodded and shifted in the shoes a little before she sat down on the couch as far from him as possible.

  “The shoes are a little big, but everything else works.” Fae leaned the sword against her leg and stared at him. “So, start. Explain all this to me.”

  Kiernan shoved his hand through his hair.

  Now that she had a moment, she looked him over. His hair was a dark brown and cut in a modern style, and he kept himself clean-shaven and dressed casually. Right now he was in jeans, a pair of black shoes that matched hers, and a long-sleeved blue shirt that read, ‘My other shirt is chainmail’. She almost smiled at that because she imagined he owned chainmail somewhere judging by the weapons he had decorating his walls.

  “Yeah, I don’t really know how to do that.” Kiernan sat back and sighed. Fae lifted an eyebrow at him, a little annoyed that now that it was time to talk he seemed to be avoiding it.

  “Let’s start with, how did you know where I was?”

  “I can see any of my charges in this observation glass I have.” He motioned over her shoulder to the desk by the window. “It’s over there, in a box.” Fae’s heart pounded in her chest as she turned around.

  “You can see other Faeoihn?” She asked, looking back at him. Kiernan nodded and Fae stood up and walked over to the desk, and he jumped up and walked after her. “Show me.” Her hands were shaking as she opened the lid of the box and looked at the concave disc of glass inside that was about six inches across. It was nestled inside the wood box on some cloth, but nothing was visible in it.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Fae.” His voice was somber, but it just irritated her.

  “Why? I haven’t seen one of my sisters in a millennium and you think it’s a bad idea?” Fae shoved the box towards him across the desk. “Make it work.”

  “Listen, you don’t know what could be happening, you don’t want to see that.” His words brought up a lot of images in flashes that made her stomach twist, but it didn’t deter her. Whatever was happening with her sisters, she wanted to see one of them. She had to.

  “Do it.” Fae adjusted her grip on the hilt of the sword and pointed at the box. Kiernan grumbled and placed a finger on the edge of the glass. The center lit up for a second and then suddenly it was like Fae was looking through a window at a young woman. Her light hair was pulled up into a bun and she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but Fae still recognized her. Aleine. She could see her talking, but she couldn’t hear her. “I can’t hear anything, make it so I can hear it.”

  “Just touch the box.” Kiernan pointed at it, and Fae rested the sword against the desk and pulled the box back towards her so she could see more easily and as soon as her hands touched it Aleine’s voice came through as if she were right next to her. She was talking to someone across the room, saying something about wanting to sleep. Another woman’s voice started screaming at her about being grateful and then she came into view and slapped Aleine. Anger bubbled up inside Fae, but Kiernan reached over and slammed the lid shut before picking the box up.

  “Give it back! Let me see her again!” Fae reached for it and Kiernan stepped back and shook his head, his expression grim.

  “You don’t want to see. Trust me, Fae.” Kiernan looked down at the box, avoiding Fae’s eyes.

  “Then go get her, dammit, go get her like you did with me!” That snapped his head up.

  “It’s not the same thing, your master was dead, hers is alive. If I could even bring her here it would only hurt her because the curse would pull her back, and it would attract even more attention to us.”

  “I don’t care, go get her!” Fae slammed her hand onto the desk, and Kiernan walked back into the living room away from her. “Go get her, Kiernan!” Fae shouted at him, using his name for the first time. He set the box down on the end table by his chair, and she stomped over to him leaving the sword against the desk.

  “You don’t understand. If I go get her, Gormahn’s curse will just activate the bands and hurt her and keep hurting her until she’s returned to her master. The only reason I was able to get you was because you were unclaimed, and you still haven’t explained how that happened.” Fae’s chest hurt thinking about Aleine, trapped wherever she was. She hadn’t seen her in years, and they hadn’t been close like Keira and she had been, but she didn’t want her to suffer. She didn’t want any of her sisters to suffer.

  “Kill her master then, and bring her here.” Fae said it seriously, and Kiernan scoffed at that idea.

  “You’re not the only one Gormahn has control over, Fae.”

  “Oh, that’s right. You’re a son of Gormahn.” She sneered the words at him, angry that he seemed to pick and choose who he’d save, but she wasn’t prepared for the flare of rage in his eyes when he looked up at her.

  “Please stop calling me that.” His words were polite, but his voice had a cold edge that made her want to go back and pick up the sword again. She had said it on purpose, to irritate him, but she didn’t want to fight him. Not yet, at least.

  “I don’t understand why it bothers you so much. Gormahn made you, just like Eltera made me. I am a daughter of Eltera, and you -”

  “Gormahn didn’t make me. He stole me.” Kiernan growled under his breath, looking away for a minute, but then he turned back to her, “Regardless, I am forbidden from harming any of the masters. I can’t do what you’re asking. If I did try to kill him I’d be the one to die, not him.” That caught Fae’s attention and she took a step back towards the couch, and Kiernan dropped into the chair again.

  “What do you mean?” She asked, and Kiernan immediately pushed up his left sleeve, where dark vines were visible on his skin like tattoos. He pulled it up as high as it would go on his arm, around his elbow, and the vines continued upwards.

  “This is how Gormahn controls us. These vines are just the visual representation of a poison Gormahn gave all of the Laochra. If we disobey him, the poison gets closer to o
ur hearts. If it reaches it, we die.” Fae’s eyes trailed the thick vines, and although she didn’t exactly feel bad for him at least he had a reason for why he wouldn’t save Aleine. As she stared at the vines she realized that they were actually visible at his wrist and seemed to spring from his left palm.

  “So you can’t go get her?” Fae was digging her nails into her palms in frustration at the constant futility of her situation, and Kiernan shook his head.

  “If I went, it wouldn’t help her, and it could draw attention to you, and I already said I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “And why exactly is that?”

  “I just don’t.” His response was curt, but she just laughed under her breath.

  “You haven’t helped me for two millennia, why the sudden interest in my safety?”

  “I have tried to help you. When you were at that auction a few years ago there was a woman that almost bought you. She was really sadistic, Fae, you have no idea. She had killed the last few girls she bought and she wanted you because you wouldn’t die as easily. I had the guy who handles our creative accounting mess with her bank accounts so she would stop bidding, and trust me that request was not easy to explain. Before that, there was that guy in Vietnam who was pimping you and those other girls out for political favors. How do you think his enemies found him?” Kiernan was speaking quietly, staring at his hands.

  Fae couldn’t think of a way to respond to him. Those memories were still too fresh, and she didn’t want to think about any of it. Instead, she just sat down on the edge of the couch on the end closest to him.

  He took a breath and looked up at her, “My turn for a question, how did you kill Nikola?”

  “I don’t know.” Fae crossed her arms over her chest, and he scoffed.

  “Really, Fae? Just tell me.”

  “I really don’t know. I’m not keeping some secret, I actually have no idea. It’s never happened to any of my masters before, and there have been others who deserved it more. Even though he killed Juliet, others have done so much worse. Repeatedly. If I could do it, why didn’t I do it before now?” Fae stared at him, and Kiernan sighed and put his head in his hands.

  “That’s true. But what if it’s a new thing? Some new skill?”

  “If it is, I don’t know how to control it. If I could I would have killed you this morning.” Fae shrugged, and the expression on his face was priceless for a moment.

  “Wow. Thanks for the honesty.” Kiernan chuckled a little, and Fae smiled at the sarcasm.

  “No problem. My turn again, you said Gormahn controls you with those vines.” Fae tucked her legs under her on the couch and Kiernan flinched, staring at her shoes on the fabric. Noticing it she pulled them off and dropped them to the floor one at a time. He just sighed, and she wanted to laugh at him. Who knew a big, bad warrior would be worried about clean furniture? Once his couch was safe, Kiernan gestured for her to ask her question. “Well, what did you mean by that? Exactly how does he control you, and why are you so pissy when I refer to him? Didn’t you worship him?”

  “That’s way more than one question, but fine.” He leaned back in the chair, rubbing his thumb into the center of his left palm. “I worshipped Gormahn the same way I worshipped all the gods. I honored them, I made sacrifices, I prayed – but I wasn’t a warrior. When Gormahn found me and decided he wanted me to be a part of the Laochra, I remember that he told me I had the chance to be truly great. To be a hero.” He laughed to himself as if he’d told a joke. “I told him I was good where I was, happy. I had some land to farm and was doing fine, but he said that destiny wasn’t a choice and he grabbed my hand and stabbed this black stick into it.” Kiernan ran his hand over the vines, “It was incredibly painful, and I tried to get away from him, but… he’s a god. Found out later it was a branch from a poisonous tree called the Ebon Oak, something that grows where the gods live. It let him get into my head, and it was like his thoughts were my thoughts. He changed me into what he wanted.”

  “So he stabs you with a stick and you join his bloodthirsty army and start pillaging our land?” Fae crossed her arms, because the story sounded plausible, but it didn’t make sense. Gormahn had to have his own followers, just like Eltera had. No one really knew anything about the Laochra other than their viciousness. Fae had only heard about them through stories that moved through their people and that Eltera said they had to be destroyed. No one had known how they were created.

  “Basically.” Kiernan tore his gaze away from his palm, and the furrow between his brows made his features even stronger. “When he stuck me with it, he also gave me some of his power. So I heal much faster than normal, I’m stronger, faster. I had the instinct to fight. But, that’s the last memory I have of a mortal life, standing in a field, in shock at being in the presence of a god – and then pain. The first thousand years under his control are nothing but scattered images of war and violence, because he never let us rest.”

  “So you don’t remember the battle?” Fae tilted her head and Kiernan stared at the floor when she asked it. Fae’s own memories of the battle were fresh in her mind after her conversation with Ebere. Even worse were the memories of what had happened after the battle was done.

  “I remember parts of it.”

  “Well, I remember all of it. Do you at least remember which one of us you took from the field?” Fae couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice, and Kiernan put his head in his hands and remained silent. Fae grabbed her shoe off the floor and threw it at him. It bounced off his shoulder, but Kiernan didn’t lift his head. “Answer me, dammit! I remember who took me. I don’t know his name, but I remember his face. He gave me a battlefield for a marriage bed, and then sold me to a fucking Roman when Gormahn had you rip us all away from each other. So, which one of us did you take, Kiernan? What was her name? Did you even find out? Where did you leave her? Tell me!”

  “I don’t remember, Fae!” Kiernan yelled at her, and it made her jump. He stood up, pacing away from her. Rubbing his face with one hand as he stared at the wall by his front door. “I really don’t remember, and the things I can remember in the last two thousand years make me sick. It’s like having nightmares except they’re all real and I actually did them. They keep me up at night, this shit I’ve done haunts me, and I deserve it. I have to live with that, and I can’t even remember everything I did.”

  “All of this is just so convenient. You didn’t want to join Gormahn, he made you, he poisoned you, and now you can’t even remember? I thought we were doing the whole honesty thing.” Fae thought about leaving right then. She didn’t want to believe him about the poison or the forgetting. How could anyone forget things like that? They were seared into her memory with complete clarity, even things she wished she could forget. Things she wanted to erase.

  “I wouldn’t have left if I could have stopped it.” Kiernan’s fists were clenched at his sides, and she could see the tension in his shoulders.

  “Why not, Kiernan? What was better than being a warrior for Gormahn? What could have possibly been better than taking whatever you wanted, doing whatever you wanted, and getting away with it with a fucking god at your back?” Fae was furious and laying the bitter sarcasm on thick, and Kiernan just stood there with his back to her. She was about to throw her other shoe at him when he spoke softly.

  “My family.”

  The anger bled out of her fast as she stared at him, her mouth opening to speak, but she couldn’t think of what to say. He’d had a family? All of the Faeoihn who had been taken didn’t have a family of their own. Although it wouldn’t have been weird for her to have found a husband and had children by her age, she had been waiting and her father hadn’t pressured her. He had always said she would know when she met the right one for her, and it hadn’t happened. Similar things were true for her sisters.

  She finally found her tongue and asked, “You had a wife?” He nodded. “Did you have children?” He nodded again, and that made a sour place appear in her stomach. To lose your spouse
would be bad enough, but to lose a child? She couldn’t imagine.

  “I had a wife named Branna, and a son named Lann. I only had four years with them before Gormahn took me from them.”

  “What happened to them?”

  “I don’t know.” Kiernan’s voice seemed hollow, and he still hadn’t turned around. “I can’t remember what happened after Gormahn took me. I don’t know if we went back and destroyed the village I lived in, I don’t know if they lived to old age, or died in the chaos the Laochra wrought, and trust me, I think about it a lot. I think about whether or not I could have held the sword myself.” Fae flinched and realized how badly she wanted to comfort him, because while terrible things had happened in her long life – Eltera had made sure her family was safe and prosperous. Blessed. There was no need to even say what Gormahn could have done to ensure his Laochra had no ties to humanity.

  “I’m sorry.” Fae spoke softly, but he didn’t even acknowledge it.

  “My turn.” Kiernan’s voice was strained, and he was still talking to the wall. “Why haven’t you given up, Fae? Why haven’t you just stopped fighting all this and either resigned yourself to it or ended it?” When he turned around his face was flushed, and his eyes didn’t quite find her face.

  “Eltera hasn’t given up, so I won’t give up.”

  “He’ll never let her go, Fae. All of this will never end. Never.”

  Fae gritted her teeth against the urge to scream at him. He had been stolen from his life, from his family. He didn’t know what it meant to pledge your life voluntarily, to do it without fear, to do it with faith. He wasn’t going to convince her of anything. She’d suffered for this long, so the idea of an eternity like this wasn’t unrealistic, she just usually tried not to think about it.

  If Kiernan had already resigned himself to his life, to his curse, that was his choice.

  “Someday she’ll be free, Kiernan, I believe that, I have to. One day she will gather all of the Faeoihn up and we’ll all live together again. Safe and sound.” When it came out of her mouth it seemed naïve, but she still believed it was true.