When Never Again Happens (Never Again Series Book 2)

by Jamie Lynn Boothe

  “I’m doing well. How are you? Forgive me for saying so, but you look worn out.”

  Steve pursed his lips and nodded in agreement.

  “Yes, it’s been rough lately. I’m glad you came by though, Sam. I was going to call you later about something.”

  “Okay. Good thing I came by then I guess, because I need to talk to you, too, but you go first. Something tells me it’s on the same page as what’s on my mind.”

  He set his elbows on the edge of the desk and clasped his hands. She could tell from the expression on his face it wasn’t an easy topic, whatever it was he needed to say. With a grim expression, Steve looked at her.

  “You know how much I love having you here working for me, right?” he started.

  She thought she had a good idea where this was going, and answered, “Yeah, I know. What’s going on, Steve?”

  “I’ve been going through the books and the numbers don’t look as good as I would like for them to. I must let a couple people go. Unfortunately, since you were the last chef I hired, I’m afraid it has to be you. I’m very sorry.”

  She wasn’t quite sure what to say. She had come to talk to him about leaving the restaurant and he told her he had to let her go. It was quite ironic, and for some reason she was a little hurt. She knew she shouldn’t be and understood.

  Trying to smile for him she looked Steve in the eyes and replied, “I totally understand, Steve. It’s very weird that you are telling me this, because the reason I was going to talk to you is because I think it’s in my best interest right now to leave.”

  His head jerked back as if surprised.

  “Really? That is some weird timing. Out of curiosity though, why were you wanting to leave?”

  Fidgeting with her hands and uncrossing her legs and crossing them again, she answered, “Honestly, because without Tonya it’s just too hard for me. I know it is for you too, but for me, well, she was my best friend. She was more like a sister to me and I don’t think I can stay here. Besides, I don’t need the money right now. I’m not sure what I will do, but eventually I still want to open my own place.”

  Nodding, Steve said, “I understand completely. I wish you the very best when you do. I have no doubt it’ll be a huge success.”

  “Thank you, Steve. I hope things will pick up here for you.”

  “I’ll be okay, thank you. You will stop by now and then, I hope.”

  “Yes, definitely.”

  Sam stood and hugged Steve before walking out of the office. She spoke to the other staff on her way out and began to feel melancholy. She wasn’t surprised when her eyes stung with salty tears. She had grown to love the place and Steve and working with most of the staff. She would without a doubt be coming back to visit from time to time.

  ***

  Marion

  Marion needed to make some kind of plan. She thought the best place for Sam was back in Connecticut. There had been pain in both places and the weather in Florida was more enjoyable, but Connecticut was where Sam needed to be.

  How she was going to do it was another thing all together. God had left it up to her. He told her He knew she would be able to handle it, so she would do her best.

  She sat and watched Sam leave the back porch of her bungalow to walk to the beach. The neighbor’s dog ran over to her for some loving as she began to walk past their house. It made Marion smile at how the beautiful dog was so attracted to Sam. In her mind the dog was an angel of sorts.

  Marion decided to walk with her as she thought. Maybe the view and being near Sam would help get her wheels turning. As they walked, Marion prayed to God for some guidance on what to do. She hoped for some kind of answer, but when nothing came to her she knew again that He trusted in her ability.

  She looked out toward the ocean and watched the waves rise and fall. Farther out were a few dolphins jumping and swimming. It touched her heart to see the beauty of God’s creations. So much beauty. Marion stayed beside Sam and reached for her hand. Sam of course couldn’t see her, but she could sense her presence because as soon as her fingers entwined within hers, she smiled and gazed out to the ocean as well.

  After their walk, Marion would make a quick trip to see Junior and see how he was doing. It was past due for her to make that particular journey. He needed help too, but Marion wanted to see him to get ideas on how to proceed, how to get Sam to want to move back to Connecticut so she could love again, so she could fall completely in love with Junior.

  ***

  Sam

  Sam was thinking about Junior as Sheeba trotted along beside of her. She looked down at the beautiful animal as she gazed up at Sam, her tongue hanging out and tail wagging furiously. Sam had no control over the smile that filled her face and the giggle that escaped her chest. Every time Sheeba walked with her, or visited her on the porch, she was tempted to get a dog of her own, which surprised her since she wasn’t a dog person.

  Sam watched the water roll in and slowly pull back out. She observed the foam that remained on the edge of the sand. She lifted her eyes to the horizon, to the colors beginning to blend. She loved sunsets. She loved watching the sun rise as well if she happened to get up in time to enjoy it. But for some reason this particular sunset had meaning to her. As her feet touched the cool, fine sand she felt as if the contact gave her another reason for her to stay in Florida. Yet for some reason the idea of moving back to Connecticut was on her mind. She had no idea why. She certainly didn’t miss the cold weather; that was one of the best reasons to move to Florida. Why was moving back itching at her brain?

  Junior would be a good reason to be back up there, but she wasn’t sure that by itself would be good either. Confusion filled her soul. She prayed, asking God for guidance. When she thought He was answering her it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, and that made her confusion worse. Why would God want her to go back to Connecticut with all its memories of Chris? Didn’t He have her move to Florida to be away from them? Didn’t He want her to live in Florida where she would be happier? Or maybe it was where she thought she would be happier.

  She didn’t know what to do or feel or even think anymore. She had to ask herself what she would do if she stayed in Florida. She didn’t need to work, but would because she was built that way. She didn’t need anything, not counting the obvious basic stuff. How would that be any different in Connecticut? She didn’t know, but knew she had faith that God would guide her and somehow let her know what to do.

  Her mind slipped to the email she wrote to Junior. It had been a couple of days with no response. Not that she expected one. Or did she? She had to admit in a way she did, but she couldn’t say she knew how he felt about what she said. Did she hurt his feelings? She hoped not. She truly cared about him and wouldn’t hurt him on purpose.

  She couldn’t remember word for word what she had written, but knew she told him she missed him and had been thinking about him. She would always feel that way. She thought about that kiss for the thousandth time. She stopped and watched the ocean as the memory of that moment touched not only her thoughts, but also her heart and soul. She clearly remembered when he placed both of his warm hands on her heated cheeks and tenderly held her. How his lips felt when for the first time ever they touched hers. And she would never forget how her heart beat against her chest when she kissed him back. It hadn’t been a long or deep kiss, but it touched the depths of her.

  When she thought about that tender moment she realized something that almost rocked her off her feet. She wanted him to kiss her like that again. No, that wasn’t quite honest. She looked at her feet as the edges of the water almost tickled her toes. She wanted and needed to feel him hold her in his arms and kiss her deeply. Passionately.

  When the realization of that fully hit her she was filled with dread, fear, desire, and confusion. Dread because she wasn’t sure she could handle another relationship. Fear because she was scared of the consequences of giving away her heart again. Desire because she was a young woman who had wants and needs that
hadn’t been felt in a long time, and confusion because she didn’t know what God wanted her to do.

  As she faced the falling sun and its beauty, tears welled up inside her. She felt Sheeba nudge against her as if she sensed something was wrong. Sam scratched behind the dog’s ears and told her she was okay, not to worry, but Sam knew she wasn’t okay. She wasn’t okay at all.

  Chapter Ten

  Junior

  Junior’s finger hovered over the enter button. It had been for long seconds, unsure if he should send the email to Sam or not. Finally, he retrieved his hand and sat staring at the computer screen, disgusted with himself for being so weak. It was late on a Saturday night, and here he was sitting in front of his computer with nothing better to do. Sometimes he felt pathetic. Pushing away from the table he stood and paced the floor as he ran his hands through his hair. It had been a week since he received Sam’s email and its contents had run through his mind countless times. He sat back at the computer and read over what he wrote.

  Dear Sam,

  I’m sorry it has taken me this long to write back to you. I’m sure you have been wondering why. I guess I have no good answer to that other than I wasn’t sure what to say to what you wrote to me. I needed a little time to reflect on it.

  I have to say right away that I have been missing you, too. More than you may realize or believe. I can’t stop thinking about you, to be honest. A day hasn’t gone by that you haven’t controlled my thoughts. I wonder day after day how you are doing and what you might be doing. I have wondered if you have been thinking about me, too. Obviously, you have been.

  Yeah. I will never be able to forget that night in your apartment, either. I don’t have words to describe how you felt in my hands and how your eyes looked, but more importantly how it felt to finally kiss you. Do you even know how long I have wanted to do that? No, I guess you wouldn’t know the answer to that. Trust me, it’s been a long time.

  Sam, I know you have been hurting for a long time. I won’t tell you in here or any other way that life won’t hurt you again, because that’s part of life unfortunately. You know that. You have seen more than your share of pain in a short amount of time. But, I can tell you that in no way will I ever hurt you, at least not on purpose. I can’t say I wouldn’t make mistakes, but I wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. Ever. Now I sound like I’m begging. I’ll stop.

  As far as God is concerned I’m glad you have your beliefs and live for Him the way you do. To be honest I don’t think you would have become who you are or been able to get through your struggles without Him. So, I guess part of me is telling you that I believe in Him, too. I would be a fool not to. Do I live for Him the way you try to? I can’t lie. Not like I should, but it has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m not telling you that to make you feel good either. I’m telling the truth. We can talk more about faith and God on the phone or if you would like on Skype or something. I would like that. If you want to.

  Well, I have written a book here it seems, so I’ll stop here. If you want to talk after reading this let me know. I miss you, Sam. I always have and I always will.

  Love,

  Junior

  He sat and stared at the words in front of him. He knew they were good and heartfelt. He only hoped she took them for what they were and understood them. Once again, he let his finger pause above the button before pressing it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After a couple seconds, his finger pressed the send button and it was off into the techno world flying toward Sam.

  As soon as he sent it he had doubts, but it was too late. There wasn’t anything he could do about it. He sighed, logged off the computer, and closed it. Pushing it away from him, he stood and went to get ready for bed. Once in bed he felt ashamed in a way for having such an incredibly boring life. What had it come to?

  He was in his late twenties and single. All his life consisted of was work, working out at the gym, and staying home. His last surviving best friend, who he happened to be in love with, lived over a thousand miles away in Florida with no intention of being with him.

  Lying on his back with his hands behind his head he stared at the ceiling. Broken shards of light splattered across the walls and danced on the ceiling as they found their way through the half-opened blinds. As he watched the light show he imagined Electric Light Orchestra playing along with it; he found that rather ironic.

  He thought about his best friend Chris and how much he missed him. So often he thought about some of the things they would do together. The times they had laughed and times they had cried. Always being there for each other, like brothers.

  He felt guilt about the feelings he had for Sam since Chris had been his best friend and Sam had been Chris’s wife. He was glad he never told anyone about his feelings before Chris’s death. It would have undoubtedly hurt their friendship. Since things had so tragically changed, Sam knew how Junior felt. His love for her had changed their relationship and not in the way he wanted. He was feeling powerless and he hated that feeling.

  Finally, after being in his head for an hour he rolled over and tried to sleep. He hoped something would happen and soon. He wanted to either have her in his arms the way he dreamed or her telling him once and for all it would never happen. Either way, something needed to happen.

  ***

  Sam

  Midnight.

  Sam was wide awake and looked at the clock, again, and saw the time had turned midnight. Where was her fairy Godmother? She laughed at her inner child and shook her head. Another Saturday night and spending it alone. Even though she had gotten used to it, it bothered her. Maybe it was because she didn’t have Tonya anymore. She felt lonely.

  She poured herself a glass of water from a pitcher in the refrigerator and sat at the table. She needed to make some plans. Something concrete. Something that she could do to ease her mind and prevent herself from getting into a rut or a depression. So with a pen and her notebook she wrote at the top of the page and underlined

  “Things to Do.”

  Number one? What would it be? Go to the gym five days a week, no excuses. She wrote that down.

  Number two?

  Seconds turned into minutes. She could hear the ocean waves through her open window. Tapping her pen on the table, she struggled to think.

  She couldn’t believe it. She was stumped on what else to do. She couldn’t even think of what to put down for her second thing to do. Yes, there were the normal basic things like grocery shopping and washing clothes and eating healthy, yada yada yada, but seriously?

  She dropped the pen on the table in frustration and frowned at how her prospects looked. She wasn’t working. There wasn’t homework or school to look forward to. No friends to hang out with unless she wanted to chill out at the job she no longer had. She felt pitiful.

  She decided to not fret out about it and go to bed. She wanted to go to church in the morning and if she didn’t want to nod off during the sermon she would need at least five hours of sleep. She shook her head and turned off the light, mumbling to herself as she went.

  “I’m pitiful. Just pitiful.”

  When she woke after only three hours of sleep, she groaned out loud, wishing for more. She tossed most of the night and wasn’t ready to get out of bed, but was determined. She needed God’s word and to be around others who wanted the same. She hadn’t been to church in a few weeks and she felt guilt building inside her. There was no way she was going to get in the habit of not going.

  She drank a nuked cup of coffee and showered. Once she was completely ready she looked in the mirror and saw the bags beneath her eyes.

  “Oh, you go girl. Awesomeness in all its glory.”

  She normally didn’t like wearing a lot of makeup, but knew she needed it more than ever.

  She walked out the door tired and already planned on a nap later, but excited about hearing God’s word. That was what she needed most and when she walked into the church she instantly felt revived.

  She made it as the band st
arted a guitar solo that ran into drums and harmony that sent shivers up her spine. She quickly chose a pew and was grinning from ear to ear as she clapped her hands to the beat. A message through song was filling the building and she couldn’t be happier right at that moment. She looked up at the ceiling and thanked God for getting her out of bed.

  It was a beautiful day in every way imaginable when Sam walked out of the church that day. In only an hour she felt revived by not only the music and song, but by God’s word that the pastor blessed them with. Her heart and spirit felt better and in some way, she felt that things would be okay. She wasn’t certain about how or when or by what, but she believed.

  Sam went to the mall to do a little shopping and got some lunch at a small café. As she ate her tuna Caesar salad, she thought again about the list she started the night before. It could be possible that God didn’t want her to think about a lot to do. It could be He wanted her to do something entirely different than what she would think on her own. She allowed her mind to settle on those thoughts. When she got home and changed clothes she walked on the beach and prayed, asking God for guidance, asking Him for a sign if He wanted something in particular from her. She asked for acceptance.

  “God, I know You like it when I come to You with my problems or if I’m feeling a certain way. I know You already know what’s going on with me, but You want me to turn to You. Well, I’m turning to You again now, Lord, and I need Your help. I’m not going into everything that’s already happened because You already know about all that. But as I walk out here today on the beach and look out at the beautiful ocean, not only am I grateful, but I’m confused. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life anymore.”

  Sam stopped walking when she came upon a rock where she sat many times and prayed. It had become her spot for thought and getting closer to God. It was perfect because it was away from the crowd and the noise but still provided a gorgeous view of God’s artistic work. As she sat and watched the waves rise and fall gently, she appreciated the power of all she saw. She appreciated the beauty of her world and she continued talking to the Creator of it all.