She held up a hand and took a step back, Max’s face taking on a confused expression.
“Rosie,” he tried again.
She shifted her eyes to look at Dallas and laid everything on the line. If she didn’t, Max would and in the end what difference would it really make? That way, she’d have control when things went to shit, which they inevitably would.
“I see ghosts sometimes.” Max sucked in a breath but Rosie kept her eyes on Dallas. He was paying close attention but didn’t look like he really believed her. “There’s a spirit that keeps bringing me to that cove and sometimes I end up in the water. I assume her remains are out there somewhere but I know she wasn’t killed there. I don’t know who she is or when she was killed, although I suspect it was sometime in the late forties based on the clothes she’s wearing.”
Dallas stayed quiet for nearly a full minute and then he spent nearly the same amount of time looking back and forth between she and Max.
Finally, he spoke. “And you expect me to buy that?”
“Dal,” Max cut in.
“No,” she spoke over him and gave Dallas a self-depreciating half smile. “I don’t.”
“Then tell me something I can believe, Rosie,” he urged. “Tell me something that makes some sense other than what seems obvious to me.”
“She’s not on drugs,” Max argued.
“I’m gonna go,” she told them quietly as she headed for the door.
“Wait,” Max said making a grab for her arm but she pulled away. “Rosie, please.”
“It was the only thing I asked for, Max,” she said, her voice wobbling. “The only thing I told you I absolutely didn’t want and it was yesterday.”
“It was the only way to get him to believe you. There’s nothing wrong with the truth.”
“You’re right. There’s nothing wrong with the truth but it wasn’t your truth to tell.”
“Baby,”
“Don’t call me that.” She took another step back when those awful tears filled her eyes again. “I told him, he didn’t believe me, end of story. I have to go.”
“Wait,” Dallas interrupted. “That’s all I get? One second to accept you’re some kind of psychic and if I don’t then I’m the bad guy?”
She smiled at him. “No, Dal, you’re not the bad guy. It’s not your fault.” She shrugged. “It’s not anyone’s fault.”
She turned and opened the front door and went searching for her bike, Max right behind her.
“Rosie, please. Talk to me.”
Her bike was leaned against the garage and she got on, turning to face him. “I told you something really personal, Max. Something I don’t tell anyone. Ever. I told you something that every single time I tell someone, something bad happens. And within a day you sold me out.”
“I didn’t sell you out.”
“I told you, flat out, I didn’t want to tell Dallas. Within twenty-four hours you put me on the spot and want me to tell him.”
“Rosie, I’m worried for you!” He argued. “One of these times you’re gonna go in that water and I don’t know how deep you’ll go!”
“So, your solution was to throw me under the bus and force my hand?”
“Dallas is my best friend. I trust him with everything I have. You can trust him with this.”
“I don’t even trust you!” His head reared back in shock, disbelief marring his handsome face. “What? You think a few kisses and movies is all it takes? I know you probably think I’m just some slacker that maybe doesn’t like people. Maybe you think I’m alone because I like to be, but you couldn’t be more wrong. I’m no one, Max. I came from nothing, I have nothing. Everything I’ve had has been taken away from me, and every time, it was by someone I trusted. I don’t trust other people and certainly not because they’re nice.”
She was on a roll and though he looked ready to interrupt she kept going.
“Maybe, especially when they’re nice, because nice just means someone wants something from you and when they want something from you, they’re going to screw you over.”
“I didn’t screw you over,” Max argued. “I’m trying to help you.”
“Then don’t,” she told him flatly.
“Rosie, give me a chance to wrap my brain around this,” Dallas urged from the front yard as he approached.
“I’ll help you find her because if I don’t she won’t give me any peace. But after that? I can’t do any more.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Dallas’s voice held a note of sincerity. “This is just all a little crazy.”
“The first night we met there was a man standing behind you. He was tall and had gray hair and a big belly. I assume he was your grandfather. He apologized to me on your behalf, told me he was sorry you were such a clod. Said you got it from him.”
His face screwed up in confusion as she pushed off and headed off on her bike.
“Grandpa John?” Dallas muttered as Max yelled after her.
“Rosie!”
17
Rosie wasn’t sure if she was happy no one came looking for her or disappointed.
On one hand, she’d asked to be left alone and they’d respected her wishes.
On the other hand, if they cared, wouldn’t they have come?
She chided herself for being so passive aggressive, but it didn’t change the way she felt. So, she stewed away the rest of the morning and early afternoon in her camper with Gizmo. She busied herself, showering and then cleaning everything in sight. After that didn’t clear her mind she tried reading, but that was well beyond her mental state.
By late afternoon she couldn’t stand herself anymore. She rode her bike to the bus stop and went to work her old shift with the other maids. The methodic scrubbing of bathrooms and back and forth motion of the vacuum soothed a little. She worked in solitude through the night and well into the early morning hours, clearing her mind and trying not to dwell on what she’d done.
She was furious with herself for some of the things she’d said to Max. Telling him she’d come from nothing and that she had no one was stupid on her part. At the very least, he’d tell Wendy and she’d a have a million questions. The worst? Maybe Dallas, as a cop, got curious and tried looking into her past.
She sighed and wiped the hair off her forehead.
Rosie liked Max, she truly did. He was funny and sweet. He had a naturally calming energy that made her feel at home when they were together. His life was so together, he was so aware of himself and where he was going, he exuded confidence. He was handsome, with his messy brown hair and golden eyes, and he looked at her like she was something he’d care for and treasure.
The problem was, she hated herself for wanting that. She’d built her life around being alone and never needing to rely on anyone else. How could she suddenly meet a guy and let all that go? Was Max worth changing the life she’d made for herself?
She pondered that as she got out of work and instead of riding back to the office with Marta, wandered her way to a diner. She sat with her cup of coffee staring out a window at the ocean as the sun rose.
Where did that leave her? Going to the cove by herself was unwise, she knew that much. She was too out of control when she went there. She would need someone with her.
An hour later she paid her coffee tab and walked to The Third Eye, hoping Jay might have some insight. Strangely, she realized, she trusted Jay. He was like her. He knew what it was like for her to live with her abilities. More than that, with just a touch, he knew more about her than she’d ever said out loud. She didn’t have to tell him about her past because he could already see plenty of it.
Would he betray her too? Would he do what everyone else in her life had done?
Jay’s voice called to her from above her and she looked up to see his head out the second story window. He was clearly shirtless. “You’re killing me here, darlin’. Your waves are like crashing through my windows. Come up. Stairway’s around the side.”
&nbs
p; He smiled and waved her in the right direction.
She found the old iron stairs on the side of the building and when she reached the top the door opened. Jay stood there, shirt on, smiling.
“Come on in. Have breakfast. Unload the doubt.”
She took a deep breath and stepped through the door.
Jay’s apartment was just like she’d expect, eclectic but neat, new age but without the messy, immature feel one might expect. There was a purple velvet couch with two white chairs all clustered around a wooden coffee table strewn with crystals. She spied a few dream catchers near the windows but it wasn’t kitschy.
“Sit anywhere,” he instructed. “You want coffee?”
“No,” she refused, knowing more coffee wouldn’t do her any good.
He poured himself a fresh cup and sat on the purple couch. She took one of the white chairs and just sat there not knowing what to say.
Jay patiently watched her, waiting. He blew across the top of his coffee cup, making tiny ripples before sipping. When she met his eyes, he smiled.
“I got in a fight with Max,” she admitted.
“And?”
“And it knocked me for a loop, I guess.”
He nodded at her answer but didn’t respond.
“I almost trusted him,” she admitted looking away, afraid of what her eyes might tell him.
“You did trust him,” he replied. “That’s why you’re so upset about whatever happened.”
“No,” she argued right away. “It’s not that easy for me.”
“And it can’t be true because it was easy?”
“Are you a therapist now?”
“You’re the one who showed up here,” he laughed. “Not that you aren’t welcome. I’ve already told you that, Rosie. But you came here for a reason, so let’s get to it.”
“He threw me under the bus.”
“How?”
“I told him about what I see.”
He whistled. “That’s a big deal, considering how you feel about that.”
“It was. But I’ve had a few run-ins with that woman in the woods when he’s been around. I felt like he deserved an explanation.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Like Max,” she shrugged and couldn’t help the small smile that came to her face. “In stride. He believed me right away. No demand for tricks I can’t perform or explanations. He just…believed me.”
“What an ogre,” Jay deadpanned. “I can see why you got in a fight.”
She tilted her head and glared at him. “I told him I didn’t want him to tell anyone, then the next day he sits me down in front of Dallas,”
“The hot cop?”
“The hot cop and insists I tell him the truth.”
“Why?”
“Why what? Why did he insist that I tell Dallas?” At his nod, she continued. “I had another incident yesterday out at the cove. In the water.”
“Yikes. Did you go in the water again?”
“Yeah, but Max pulled me out. Dallas was there.”
“Naturally, he’d want an explanation.”
“He accused me of being on drugs.” Jay winced at that bit of information. “Which strikes a nerve with me, I admit and I lashed out. Especially after Max said, ‘tell him the truth’ right in front of him.”
“He kinda threw you under the bus,” Jay agreed which made her feel nominally better. “But he didn’t do it intentionally.”
“I know that but it doesn’t change what happened.”
“I’m sure he was trying to help. You trusted him enough to tell him what was going on and he tried to help you by bringing you the person he trusts.”
She threw up her hands.
“And then you thought yourself to death and ended up here, on my doorstep, doubting everything that’s ever happened to you,” he laughed.
“Not that ever happened,” she disagreed.
“Me then? Is that why it felt so localized?”
She looked sheepish.
“You were doubting me?” He seemed truly hurt. “Don’t doubt me Rosie. I’ll be here when you need me. I promise.”
“I have this thing I say to myself every time someone makes me a promise?” She told him.
“I have a feeling it’s not a good thing.”
“Promises are like fog,” she said quietly. “You can’t see through them and they don’t amount to a whole lot.”
She spent the rest of the morning with Jay, trying to work everything out. He made some good points about Max’s intentions she’d been too mad to take seriously. He did another aura cleansing in the Reiki room but it seemed to get her nowhere.
From there she rode her bike to work where she got started on making sure Thanksgiving week ran smoothly. It was Monday and they had to make sure the next few days were perfect so everyone could enjoy a few days off. She went to the office Wendy had told her to use and shut the door. It was easy to lose herself in schedules and supply orders. She made sure the orders were set for the next month and then she went to the supply room to make sure all the carts and shelves were fully stocked.
“What are you doing in here?” Wendy asked with a smile as she appeared in the doorway.
Rosie smiled. “Just making sure we’re all stocked up for tonight.”
“I was thinking before we finish up for the holiday we should make sure we’ve got an order in to restock.”
“Already done,” Rosie told her as she filled a shelf with paper towels.
Her boss smiled. “I love having you here.”
“I love being here.”
“Have you talked Max?” She could hear the smile in Wendy’s voice and chose to ignore it.
“Not today.”
“Oh,” Wendy’s voice fell. “I’m hoping the girls get finished up this week so we can get a few days off.”
“They will.” Rosie assured her. “We got a ton done last night and it went well. They deserve a nice little break.”
Wendy stood from where she was leaning on the door frame. “Wait? We? You were here last night?”
“I worked downtown with the girls.”
“You worked all night? What time did you get here?”
“About eleven?”
“What the hell are you doing here? Go home, Rosie.”
She waved her hand carelessly. “I’m good. I’ll grab some coffee in a while and keep going.”
She hadn’t eaten since the night Max fed her meatballs. She sighed, stupidly missing Max.
“Well, if you need to take off, go ahead. You’ve put in your time today.”
“It’s not a big deal. Like you said, I want to make sure it all gets done. That’s all.”
Wendy shook her head. “Stubborn. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
Rosie worked until six that night. She could have gone home much sooner, there truly wasn’t much work to be done, but she was avoiding going home. Now that she’d cooled off a little she wasn’t quite so mad at Max. Yes, she’d clearly asked him not to tell Dallas but she’d also boxed him into a corner, as Jay said. He had his own way of coping with problems and clearly it was to ask for help if he needed it. She’d forced herself to outgrow that option as it had never worked for her. He used the skills he had when a problem arose. He was just trying to help.
Granted, she hadn’t asked for that and he’d crossed a boundary that made her very uncomfortable but she had to make a choice. She and Jay had discussed it at length.
She had to choose between stepping out of her comfort zone and letting Max help or living in the past and letting that dictate where her future was going to take her. Maybe it was time to stop relying on her mistrust of other people and start relying on the trust she had in her own abilities. If nothing else, it was something to think about.
She rode the bus home and tiredly exited, hesitating on the last step off. Max was sitting on the bench next to where her bike was locked. She stepped down and waited until the hiss of brakes eased off and the bus was gone.
/>
He sat there looking pained, his usually messy brown hair even more unruly than normal. His mouth was turned down in a frown and he looked worried.
“Hey,” she greeted him quietly.
“Hey,” he said back.
She went to the bench and sat next to him looking out at the deserted road in front of them.
“I’m sorry,” she told him.
She felt him shift on the seat. “No, Rosie. You have nothing to be sorry about. You were right. I promised you I wouldn’t say anything and then I practically made you tell Dallas. I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “I wasn’t ready to tell him.”
“He believed you,” he said. “When you told him about his grandfather, he believed you.”
It didn’t matter to her if Dallas believed her or not.
“I’m not ready to be the town sideshow. I don’t want that here.”
“It won’t go any further than Dallas and I.” He reached out and grabbed her hand. “I swear.”
She turned her face and sent him a sad smile. “Don’t say that. There’s nothing I trust less than a promise.”
“Shit,” he muttered and pulled her hand up to kiss the back. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Can we just let it go for now?” She leaned back and put her back to his side, his arms quickly wrapping around her. “I just want to close my eyes for a minute.”
He kissed the top of her head. “At the bus stop?”
“I’m just so tired and right now, just being with you is so quiet. There’s no extra noise when you’re here. I can’t even think about the rest of that stuff right now.”
“So, we’re good for now?” He sounded leery.
“We can talk it to death tomorrow.”
“Can I put your bike in my truck now or are you gonna insist on riding it home.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m gonna take the ride.”
What felt like a minute later Max was carrying her from his truck up his porch stairs.
“I can walk,” she insisted tiredly.
“I know,” he said. “I’ve got you though.”
“It’s too early to go to sleep.” She was so tired her words were slurred.
“We’ll hang out upstairs. That way when you want to go to sleep you can just close your eyes.” His voice was soft and she felt her eyes close again.
Chasing Happy Page 16