Her mother had locked her in the closet again. The all-encompassing darkness surrounded her but didn’t frighten her the way her mother probably meant it to. She found it comforting to know where all the walls were, to feel them around her. That way, she knew there would be no surprises coming out of the dark. Just her mother on the other side of the door.
“She’s coming for you,” Mama whispered through the door. “Better buckle up, Happy because she’s coming for you and she’s far more powerful than you.”
Rosie’s eyes popped opened and she found her head on Max’s shirtless chest, his arm wrapped around her. There was a TV on across the room, the volume barely reaching her ears. One of her hands was resting on his abs. Yeah, she didn’t mind this. His skin was hot and smooth, a thin trail of hair leading straight down his waistband.
“You okay?” He asked.
She took a deep breath and groaned a little.
“I can feel your eyelashes blinking on my chest,” he laughed, running his hand over her hair.
She sat up, hoping she hadn’t been doing something ridiculously embarrassing like snoring or drooling on him, or heaven forbid talking in her sleep.
“Hey.” Her voice was scratchy from sleep but she felt much better than she had before. Clearly, she had reached the age where staying up all night wasn’t as easy as it used to be.
He smiled down at her and continued to run his hand down her hair. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She put her chin down on his chest and looked back at him. “Was tired I guess.”
“I guess,” he agreed softly.
It was a peaceful moment, backlit by the flickering television. They stared at each other, enjoying each other’s touch and company without trying to fill the void the silence created. He watched her eyes, going back and forth from one to the other. She catalogued the straight line of his nose and the arch of his top lip. His thumb brushed her lips and he watched its path carefully. It was a serene connection between them, one she welcomed after the day’s upheaval.
“I missed you,” he broke into the quiet.
She smiled and hid her face in his chest. “It was only a day.”
“I don’t care.” He gently lifted her face. “I missed you.”
Without thought she pressed a kiss to his chest. “I missed you, too.”
“I need to tell you something.” His voice had a serious tone to it. One that made her push herself further up on her elbows and take notice.
“Okay.” Her voice was wary.
“I hate when you disappear on me.” He pressed his hand to her cheek. “I hate when I can’t find you and I have no way to get a hold of you.”
“I’m sorry,”
“I get it. I get why you took off but when a whole day goes by and don’t know where you went or if you’re okay. That drives me a little crazy.”
She could see where he’d be frustrated. She’d never had a reason to get herself a fancy cell phone but she had a pay as you go phone she carried in case she needed it.
“I can just give you my phone number, you know,” she started.
Max sat up straighter, knocking her off his chest. She sat up then too.
“You have a cell phone?” He sounded surprised.
“Well, it’s nothing fancy,” she shrugged.
“But you have one?”
“I do,” she said.
Max grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. The second his lips touched hers, it was as if her pulse spiked. She felt herself heat from the inside out and opened her mouth to him, wanting him closer. She loved the feel of his hands on her back, his tongue rubbing against hers as though he couldn’t get enough of her. She felt the same way, just as insistent as he was, her hands and mouth demanding just as much from him.
His fingers found the hem of her shirt and began tugging it upwards. She broke the kiss.
“No sex,” he whispered through his ragged breath, his eyes hot on hers. “I remember. Totally clear.”
“No sex,” she agreed as she lifted her arms, letting him pull the shirt over her head.
He tossed it carelessly on the floor without taking his eyes off her. Her breasts were on the smaller side though she’d never say she was flat-chested. Her bra was purple, keeping her well contained in a shiny satin cup.
“Yeah,” he muttered, pressing his nose to her chest and inhaling deeply, then rubbing lips across her chest. He reached the raised ridge of her scar again and stopped. “You never told me about this.”
“Seriously?” She breathed in frustration. “You want to talk right now?”
“Baby, there’s a lot I want to do right now. Most of them involve you being naked.” His hands came up to cup each of her breasts.
“No naked,” she said on a breathy sigh.
“What if you were naked and I wasn’t. I can do a lot with you naked.” He gently pulled down each of the straps of her bra, waiting for her to protest. When she didn’t, he lowered the cups until her breasts were standing at attention right in front of his face.
She wondered briefly if she should feel embarrassed. She’d never been this naked with a guy before. The thought flitted from her mind when his tongue circled one her nipple. His big hand held her while he continued to use his mouth on her. She kneaded his bare shoulders as she struggled to stay still under his onslaught.
Rosie hadn’t realized her nipples had a direct connection to her core, but the more Max worked her breasts, the more desperate she felt. Her hips moved of their own volition, pressing against his lap and moving back and forth, searching for relief. In a quick motion, Max had her on her back his mouth pressing kisses down her chest and stomach. Her fingers threaded through his hair as he dipped his tongue quickly into her belly button.
“Max,” she whispered.
He kissed his way back up her body, stopping briefly to suck each of her nipples in mouth.
When he appeared above her he spoke before she could. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” His cheeks were flushed and his hair was a mess.
She smiled up at him. “So are you.”
“Did you want me to stop?”
No, she didn’t. She wanted whatever the ache inside of her was to be sated.
“It would probably be a good idea,” she told him.
He shrugged and smiled. “I have other ideas.” He pressed a kiss to her lips and swiped his tongue across her bottom lip. “Still, no sex,” he reiterated. “but there’s something else I can do for you.”
She knew exactly what he meant. She didn’t live under a rock for heaven’s sake, it was just something she’d never done. The more she thought about it the more nervous and uncomfortable she became. First of all, she’d never been naked in front of someone else before, let alone exposed herself like that. Second, she also hadn’t showered in longer than she could remember and was horrified to imagine him down there. Third, she was back to her first point. How could she ever let anyone do that?
Max laughed. “You’re eyes just got as big as dinner plates.”
She shook her head and stuttered, “I haven’t…I’ve never…”
He shifted further back and looked at her, his smile fading. “You’ve never had oral sex?
She was a little jealous of Max and how comfortable he was just putting it all out there, like people talked about this stuff all the time. Without uttering a word, she shook her head and let him make of that what he would.
He slid to her side and laid partially on top of her, giving her plenty of space. Then he pulled the covers over them.
“What are you worried about?” He asked, settling them in the bed together. His hand came to rest on her breast under the covers, his fingers casually toying with her nipple.
She wasn’t sure she could do this. She didn’t think she could just talk about it like he could.
“Rosie,” he laughed. “You told me you see ghosts for fuck’s sake. I’d think that would be way harder than this.”
She shook her head. �
�I have a lot more experience with that than this.”
“Okay.” He, as per usual, accepted it without issue. “So, let’s lay it out there. What are you worried about? What makes you most nervous?”
She gave him a deadpan look. “You. Being down there.”
“Mmm,” he hummed, his eyes glowing with the same heat she’d seen before. “That’s what I’m looking forward to most. Seeing you. Tasting you.”
She brought a hand up to cover her face. “Stop it.”
“What?” He laughed pulling her hand away. “You want me to be honest, right?”
“A little less honesty wouldn’t kill you.”
“No,” he argued. “I want you to trust me, Rosie. So, I’ll tell you the truth even if you might not want to hear it. I want to go down on you. I want to see you naked. I want to taste every inch of you. That’s just the way it is.”
“Well, I’m not ready to be tasted,” she said primly. “I haven’t showered in I don’t know how long.”
“I don’t care,” he told her seriously.
“I do.” Her voice was quiet.
He lowered his lips and kissed her again. “I can accept that.”
“Well, that’s gracious of you,” she groused.
He kissed her, yet again and popped himself out of bed. She sat up and watched him leave the room.
“Where are you going?” She called after him.
“Solving one of your problems.”
She heard the water turn on in the bathroom and assumed he was filling the tub. He cluttered around a bit in the bathroom, the smell of perfume filling the air while she sat and waited for him to come back. After a moment, he came to the door of the bedroom.
“Come on.” He held out his hand.
Still nervous, she held the blanket to her chest.
“I just had your nipples in my mouth,” he said plainly. “No need to hide them now.”
“Well, that’s different than me just walking across the room with my boobs hanging out.”
“Want me to turn around?”
That seemed dumb, she had to admit. He had just had his mouth all over her and they’d just had a conversation while he fondled her breasts the entire time. Gathering her courage, she threw the comforter off and slid out of the bed, walking toward him as gracefully as possible. When she got close enough he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him with a laugh.
He held her cheeks in his hands and kissed her, the smile still on his face, then he pointed her in the direction of the tub. The room was steamy and the tub was nearly full of bubbles.
Max slid his arms around her from behind, his fingers going for the button of her jeans. When it was undone, he put his thumbs in her pants at the hips and began tugging them down. She quickly stepped out of his arms.
“Okay,” he laughed, knowing she wasn’t there yet. “I’ll turn around.”
He did, which made her feel a little better. She quickly stripped, keeping an eye on him the whole time and got in the big tub. True to his word he didn’t peek. The water felt heavenly around her, hot and soothing.
“You in?”
“Yeah,” she answered.
He turned around and hooked his own fingers in his shorts and pulled them down without giving her a second to brace herself. She felt her mouth drop open at the sight of him, his body naked and lean, his penis long and standing nearly straight out.
“You’re staring,” he said as he lowered himself in the tub across from her and she lost sight of the part of him that had caught her attention. Her eyes flew to his face and she caught him laughing. “You’re face.” He leaned back and laughed some more.
“I…didn’t,” she shook off the shock. “I didn’t know you were joining me.”
He shrugged. “I thought we could keep talking. Continue the conversation we were having.”
She wished she could sink into the tub and put her head underwater.
“Come on,” he urged. “Let’s just get it all out there.”
“I don’t want it all out there,” she told him, not able to hold in a laugh. She felt her face heat at the memory of seeing his penis.
“Uh huh. You’re blushing.”
“You just flashed me.” She splashed water at him.
“You flashed me first.” He leaned forward and grabbed her hand.
She didn’t have a response because he was right, she had.
“Though, I kind of asked you too,” he admitted.
He let go of her hand and leaned back, his feet coming to rest next to her hips.
“I can’t believe I’m naked in a tub with you,” she told him truthfully.
“Me neither.” He sank down and closed his eyes.
She couldn’t get that comfortable, moving to sit with a knee raised out of the water, arms hooked around it.
She watched him relax like this kind of thing happened all the time. He really was an amazing guy. Sure, he was good looking and that helped but his looks took a backseat compared to his better qualities. He was infinitely patient, honest, and funny. He had a comforting quality about him, something that made her feel at home and less lonely than she usually did. Inclusive was the word, she thought. He’d included her in everything from farm chores to dinner at his home.
She took a deep breath and went back to something he’d said while they were in bed. “I trust you.”
He slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes. He watched her for a few seconds.
“I could have sworn two days ago you practically laughed in my face at the idea that you could trust me.”
She shrugged and looked down at her hand swirling in the bubbles. “When I really thought about why I was so pissed I kind of realized it was because I did trust you and thought you screwed me over.” She lifted her eyes to him. “Trust issues.”
“Ya think?” He rolled his light brown eyes. “Why?”
“Experience?”
“Is this part of the ‘I’m no one, I have no one, I come from nothing’ speech you gave me?”
“Something like that,” she agreed. “Although I was hoping you forgot about that.”
“No such luck.” He grabbed her foot and pulled it so it rested on his chest. Then he began massaging it. “Can I ask you about having no one?” She nodded but found it hard to meet his eyes. “You said your family was traveling for Thanksgiving. True or False?”
“False,” she admitted without hesitating. When he went to talk again she interrupted. “You have a picture of me on your phone. Why?”
“Because I like to look at you.” If he was embarrassed he didn’t show it. “You lied. Why?”
“Truth?”
“Obviously.”
“Because the truth sucks,’ she admitted. “I don’t like to tell it and don’t like people to hear it.”
He sat up and brought her foot to his mouth, kissing the bottom before putting it back in the water.
“I’m not just people anymore, you know. I think we’re past that. If anything, I’m your people.”
She agreed although she wasn’t sure how it happened. “I’ve, ah….” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’ve never really had people before.”
“You don’t have any family? Parents?” He sat up and pulled her so they were face to face, both sitting cross legged.
“I never knew my father,” she said. “I mean, I never even knew who he was.”
He was holding her hand, playing with her fingers in the water. “Your mom?”
Her laugh came without her permission, sarcastic and humorless. “Yeah. No.”
His head tilted while he listened. “No, what? What does that mean?” He asked.
“Do we have to talk about this now? Naked?” She asked, hoping to change the subject.
“I wish we would,” he told her. “Just tell me about your mom and then we’ll go back to bed.”
It was late and the skies out the bathroom window were black and cloudless.
“How about the abridged version?”
She took a deep breath. “My mom went to jail when I was six. When she got out, she claimed she’d found God and instead of thinking I was just a crazy kid, she thought I was a demon.”
“Wait, like a demon, demon?”
“Eventually, she petitioned the court to have me committed which they granted in a hearing after I was released from the hospital.”
“She had you committed?” He sounded disbelieving
“In a nutshell.” A very small nutshell, give or take a near death experience and a life on the lam. He said nothing about her hospital comment and she made no more mention of it.
“She had you committed?” He repeated.
“I’m not crazy.”
“I know that,” he insisted. “How long were you…” He hesitated to even say it.
“A couple weeks. I didn’t stay long.”
“Didn’t the court make you stay?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“So, they let you do that? Just leave when you’re ready to go.” He sounded skeptical, with good reason. In truth, she’d run like hell the second she had the chance and had been running ever since.
“Not exactly.”
His head shifted back so he could get a good look at her. “So, you what? Ran away? And no one came looking for you?”
She faced him, tilted her head and watched him.
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen. Can we be done now?”
“And you just ran away?”
“You said I just had to tell you about my mom. The rest isn’t part of the abridged version.”
“Then make it part of it,” he insisted. “How did no one come looking? You aren’t exactly hard to miss, Rosie.”
“Who, exactly, do you think would be looking for me?”
“The court I guess?” Even he sounded unsure which gave her a small, unfounded, piece of hope. “Your mother.”
“You think the court cares about some runaway kid from seven or eight years ago? I’m just another drop in the barrel to them.”
“But your name must be in some kind of database or something. The minute Wendy hired you and filed your social security number with the IRS they would have come for you.” Without waiting a beat, he answered his own question. “Oh my God, your name isn’t Rosie Knight is it?”
Chasing Happy Page 17