by J. A. Delese
“Is it possible that your brother would talk to him? I think it would also be good for him, because if Patrick realizes he’s wrong, your brother won’t suffer from this kind of unpleasant incident anymore,” she said with her kitten-like eyes, but it didn’t really seem to work on Nate.
“If he realizes,” he said as he drank a sip of his coffee. “And do you think he will? Honestly, I don’t think he will realize anything. Do you honestly think my brother did that? I’ve heard some rumors about my brother before, but this is the most ridiculous one I’ve ever heard,” he snorted. “I know Tom. Everybody thinks that he’s cold blood and arrogant and well…I admit some part of that, but I don’t think he would do such a thing. What you are talking about right now is a crime, and why would my brother commit such a crime? He seriously has everything, Rebecca. He has money and power and a great number of women are dying to get him. He doesn’t need to abduct a girl.” He finished his analysis and stared at her eyes. As she was looking at his eyes, she felt butterflies in her heart again, but she suppressed them.
“I totally agreed. I don’t know where this whole abduction theory came from. Patrick assumed everything based on one incident on one day, but I don’t think it’s true actually. Either Catherine made it up or Patrick did. Or it could be some kind of misunderstanding. I mean, since when was your brother interested in her?”
“Since your birthday,” Nate said.
“WHAT?”
Nate breathed out deeply once and put down the coffee cup on the table. Then he told her how he introduced his brother to Catherine.
“So he was interested in her.”
“I think so, but only for that moment. He denied it, but it was easy to tell.” Nate showed a lukewarm response.
“And that’s why he visited her…so he really visited her,” she said as she recalled what Patrick said.
“Well, maybe. If this Patrick guy is telling the truth.”
“What if he’s telling the truth? What if really…” She couldn’t complete her sentence. When she saw Nate’s face, she found that she made a mistake.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. What I meant is hypothetically—”
“Listen, Rebecca. You don’t need to start that sort of hypothetical situation. Tom is a very responsible man. He did many things just to be responsible for the family. I know he got married even though he wasn’t really in love with his ex-wife, and even when she cheated on him, he wanted to keep his marriage because he thought it was his responsibility. I don’t really know much about your friend Patrick, but last time I met him, he seemed like a normal guy, not a lunatic. So, it’s really strange that he thinks Tom abducted Cathy. Well, I guess that’s why you asked to see me and talk about this, but whatever he says, I don’t buy it. Because I know my brother. I believe in his morality and responsibility. He wouldn’t do such a thing,” Nate said.
“I know. I believe in you,” she said, and he smiled in return.
“But what happened to Cathy is a sad thing. Where has she gone? Is she really a missing person?” Nate asked.
“So far, yes. It looks like it. Maybe it’s all those Asian gangs’ work. Maybe she borrowed some money from them and couldn’t pay back. Or maybe it’s one of her ex-boyfriends. Or maybe she gave up her life,” she said lightly.
“Why would she do that?” Nate asked, frowning.
“Don’t know. I’m just saying the possible scenarios in this case,” she shrugged. “I wasn’t really that close to her. She always avoided talking about herself and only focused on work, work, work everyday. I really thought she would not have any man in her life, but then suddenly she was with Patrick. I don’t know how he got involved. Now he’s ruining his life, thanks to her,” Rebecca said.
Nate didn’t react. He just slowly sipped his coffee.
Tom
He was holding her in his arms, and they were lying on the bed together. He actually felt quite happy these days, after the trip to New York. He thought they might face several stressful moments, but except for the crazy boy, there were none. She was very obedient and didn’t make any attempts to run away. Even when he kissed her, she didn’t resist as she usually had.
Maybe she opened her heart a bit.
He held her tighter towards his heart. Her skin was so soft, and he particularly loved her temperature. It felt like he was hugging a warm stove. Sometimes, he even thought she had a fever, and he would check with a thermometer, but her temperature was normal.
He kissed her neck and smelled her scent. He really felt like he was addicted to her. He remembered that he made a promise to her. He had told her he would let her go when he didn’t want to keep her.
“When do you think that will be?” she had asked.
Now, I really don’t know.
For now, he couldn’t imagine a single day without her. Previously, he thought it might be a year or at most two, since he usually got tired of any romantic relationship within six months. It’d been far more than six months, yet he was not tired of her—and he didn’t think he would be in another six months.
He was about to kiss her cheek, but he heard his cellphone ring, so he got out of the bed and checked his phone. It was Nate. He took a look at her for a second before leaving the room to answer the call.
“You know it’s early morning here,” he said.
“Sorry, Tom. I just want to make sure about these crazy shits.”
He could tell that Nate was drunk, and it made him feel annoyed.
“Call me back when you’re sober.”
“HOLD ON!” Nate shouted.
“Let me ask you one thing. Just one. Do you know anything about Catherine?”
“WHAT?” he unconsciously raised his voice.
“You met Catherine, remember? Last year, when you came to the bar in New—”
“I know. What are you talking about?” Tom asked.
He was not sure if Nate was even aware of this. Maybe his mother told him about it or maybe not. Even if she did, Tom wasn’t sure how much she told him.
“There are people who think her missing is related to you. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s bugging me, Tom. I don’t know why but…,” Nate couldn’t finish talking and Tom felt bad. It seemed that his mother didn’t tell Nate about Catherine, but Nate felt there was something going on between him and her. Maybe he heard the rumor about them from his friends in New York.
“Please tell me you are not related to this, brother,” Nate asked, and it sounded like him begging. Tom hesitated for a moment. He definitely didn’t want to tell the truth, but he felt pity for his younger brother.
“No, I’m not,” he lied shortly. Nate didn’t reply back right away, but Tom heard his sigh of relief over the phone.
“Thank you, Tom.” Nate hung up the phone.
Tom stood there for a while, even after hanging up the call. He breathed out deeply, and then came back to the room to see if she was still asleep. He lay down beside her and looked at her silently.
What should I do, Cathy? he asked in his head, though he already knew the answer. Let you go. But I don’t want to do it.
He didn’t want to be alone again. He didn’t want to wake up from the nightmares every night. He didn’t want to toss and turn in this bed alone before he fell asleep. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to hug her and kiss her everyday. He wanted to hear her sweet voice any time he wanted. He wanted it to be him that she saw first every morning when she woke up, like now.
“Good morning,” he said.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. She didn’t say anything back to him, but he could tell that she was okay. He could read that she was not angry or scared of him anymore. It was a completely blank face, but he knew that this was already big progress for them. Previously, she was either angry or scared every single day.
She got out of the bed without saying anything to him and moved to the bathroom. He sighed heavily as he watched the back of her body.
This girl is way too difficult.
He felt this was completely a mistake, but he also knew that it wasn’t his choice. It was seriously beyond his control. He waited for her to come out and asked her what she wanted as a reward. She lowered her eyes and took time to think about it.
“You know it cannot be something like ‘letting you go,’” he warned her.
She looked at him back with blank face again and answered, “I know.”
He closed his eyes. He could feel his blood boil up. It was always very difficult to control his temper in front of her.
“I will allow anything except that.”
“Can I not have dinner?” she said right after he finished the words. He didn’t know how to react.
Not having dinner?
He had never expected this. He thought she would ask to go out for one day or to call her mother. Not having dinner? What kind of reward is this?
“Why?” he asked.
“Cause…I don’t want to put on weight and don’t feel really hungry.”
Liar.
He knew she was lying. He roughly knew why she didn’t want to eat dinner. She wanted to avoid him. These days, due to his schedule, he rarely spent time with her, and the only time they sat down together and talked was when they were having dinner. So, she wanted a way out of it. He was not so stupid that he couldn’t even understand what she meant.
He looked straight at her face. She looked at him for a second and lowered her eyes. He wanted to grab her chin and make her look at him. He wanted to tell her how happy he was since he thought she had opened her heart to him. He wanted to yell at her that he thought this crazy relationship might have a future.
“Alright. As you wish,” he said lightly and walked out of the room.
Ingrid
She put the flowers down in front of the gravestone. They were her favorite—yellow roses.
Beloved daughter and sister.
It’d been a really long time, but it was still very difficult for Ingrid to come here. She told herself not to cry before she left the house, but she couldn’t help it. She started shedding tears again. Her husband, Stephen, put a consoling arm around her shoulders. She put her head on his chest and cried.
She purposely didn’t invite any friends or relatives. She wanted this to be a family thing, so it was only four of them. She had thought that Nate wouldn’t make it, but he came back before this day, thankfully. Tom stood beside Nate without speaking. Whenever she saw Tom these days, she felt her heart breaking down. She knew how much he missed his twin.
They were always together. Even when they were born, they came into this world holding hands. Doctors said it was very rare, and they took a lot of photos of them. When they were in kindergarten, Tom always followed Liz and didn’t want to be separated from her for a minute. Sometimes, she got tired of him and pushed him away. Then, he cried for hours.
Tom wasn’t originally that talkative, but since Liz passed away, he became extremely quiet. She and her husband were scared he might be traumatized, so they sent him to see a doctor, but it seemed like he was not getting any better. Despite being almost speechless, he was still obedient, until he found this girl.
She understood why he chose that girl. She could guess how much her boy missed his twin. She walked to her son and held his hand. Tom looked at his mother for a moment.
“You should let her go, Thomas. Otherwise, she cannot rest in peace.”
She expected him to say something back, either agree or not, but he didn’t say a word. They were all about to get on the car, but Tom said he needed to go back to work. His father allowed him to go, and he left. Ingrid got in the car with her husband, and Nate got into his own car.
“He ran away,” she said as she sat down.
“Don’t think too much,” her husband answered.
“How can I not think? He’s still keeping her in his house!” she almost shouted. She was truly scared that people would find out. If people found out, her son would become a laughing stock, and he would never find a proper lady marry to. She didn’t even want to imagine it.
“We will find a way out,” her husband answered shortly.
She felt a bit relieved by that. If her husband said he would find a way out, it really meant he would handle it. She held his hand. He turned his head to see her and smiled. She smiled back.
The day she had wedded this man, she cried so much. She didn’t like him at all. He was tall and handsome, but she felt so bored whenever she spent time with him. They liked totally different things, and more importantly, she felt that he was not interested in her at all. Every time they had dinner together, he would just eat. She tried to have some small talk, but all he ever said was I see. She thought she would die if she spent the rest of her life with him, but the marriage had been arranged and there was no way she could avoid it.
Even after they got married, Stephen didn’t show much interest in her and sometimes she didn’t see her husband’s face for days. Both families expected a pregnancy, but it wasn’t possible to get pregnant by herself. She talked about this over and over again to him, but he still didn’t try anything. Her mother asked her to consider IVF, and she refused very strongly, but in the end, she got pregnant through IVF. The next year, she gave birth to twins.
After they were born, she felt happy for the first time in her marriage, and Stephen also showed more interest in his own family. The twins were lovely and adorable, especially Elizabeth. She loved her daughter so much. She showered her with all those designer dresses and jewels. She brushed Liz’s hair every morning and night and nursed her even long after she stopped doing it for Tom.
And twenty-two years ago today, she left us.
Tears welled up in her eyes. It was still too painful for her to remember those moments. A tear rolled down her cheek. Stephen wiped her tear with his handkerchief. She held his hand again.
“You should help him, darling. We cannot lose our boy. Please help him. Please make sure no one finds out about this girl.”
Catherine
She heard him entering the house. She put her ear to the door and listened carefully. She could hear his footsteps. He probably moved to the bathroom in the bedroom. He would take a shower, and then she would move to the bedroom. She would lie on the bed on her side, and he would just sleep beside her. She knew that he needed her only when he slept.
Well, to be accurate, only when he dreams.
All she needed to do was comfort him while he dreamed and wake up before he did and disappear from his sight. This was her way to survive. She figured it out, and it had worked pretty well so far. From her previous experience, she learned that she should minimize the time she spent with him.
She came out of the guestroom and silently climbed up the stairs to the bedroom. When she entered the bedroom, however, what she saw was different from what she had expected. He wasn’t taking a shower. He was sitting on the bed, head hung low. He didn’t say anything. She didn’t expect this, so she felt quite embarrassed. She didn’t know what to do now. She didn’t know if she had to go back to the guestroom or just stay here with him. She quickly thought about what was best.
Cannot stay with him.
She turned her body and was about to walk away.
“Where are you going?” he suddenly asked.
She turned back, but couldn’t say anything. He stood up and walked towards her.
“Where are you going?” he asked again.
She could smell alcohol on his breath. This was the first time she saw him drunk. She instinctively knew this was a danger signal and felt scared.
“Tell me where you are going,” he asked.
“I’m sorry…,” she didn’t know why she said sorry to him. Right after she said it, she realized she made a mistake.
“Sorry for what?” he said.
She knew he would say this. She should have not said anything would trigger him now. He moved close to her, and it made her step backward.
“Tell me what you are sorry for,” he asked and came even clos
er.
She didn’t know what to say, but she knew that she should give him an answer.
“I…I didn’t mean to bother you,” she said in a weak voice.
“Bother me? You think you are bothering me?” he started to laugh. She felt awkward and scared, so she turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist.
“Do you know what’s really bothering me? It’s that a creature like you is still breathing, but my Liz is not. How unfair is this? This is fucking UNFAIR!” he shouted and shove her onto the floor. She scraped her elbow when she fell. He grabbed her by the collar and made her stand.
“I wish I could exchange your life for hers. I wish I could BRING HER BACK!” Then he slapped her face. Her cheek stung from the slap, and tears welled up in her eyes, but it wasn’t the pain that caused the tears. It was her memory. He yelled at her for several more seconds after that, but she wasn’t listening at all. All she did was cry. She couldn’t stop it, though she didn’t want him to see her cry. She knew her tears gave him some sort of joy or satisfaction, and that was the last thing she wanted him to have. He stopped yelling and looked at her.
She knew that he was looking at her, but she still couldn’t stop crying. This was the same as when she was young. Her father occasionally kicked her or slapped her face. She was scared whenever he came back home drunk. When he was drunk, he would make her kneel in front of him and listen to him talk about how tough his life was or why his business didn’t work. Sometimes, his complaints lasted for two or three hours, after which she couldn’t even stand up from kneeling so long. If she fell asleep while listening to his crazy stories over and over again, he slapped her face or kicked her body, like today.
Tom didn’t say a word, but he left the room and even left the house. When she heard the main door close, she started to sob even harder.
It’s not just you who think this is unfair.
She tried so hard. There was no moment in her life she hadn’t tried hard. She was aware that she was not lucky, so she tried harder than anybody. She studied hard and worked hard all the time. Even in her marriage, she had tried hard.