Our Eternal Curse I

by Simon Rumney

  After the promotion of Marius, Sulla’s dispatches to the Senate seethed with anger. It was he who should have been given the prestigious north. Marius was an old slandering fool of a broken man and as for Caepio he was a complete nincompoop. Sulla was kicking himself for being such a good general his strategy had been to build strong fortifications and spend time training his new men. He had wrongly assumed that Perperna and Lupus would do the same giving him ample time to win in the south and return to the north before all of the good land was taken. His extremely fit, well-disciplined army was ready to do his work but it was such a great shame that the land he liberated for himself would be in the south and not close to Rome as he had been planning for years.

  Victory

  A year after the war began another disaster befell Rome when the hurriedly raised army of Caepio was completely annihilated by the men of the Marsi. Ten thousand fighting men, two more full legions of Roman soldiers were butchered to a man. Caepio’s head was personally severed by the Marsi leader Quintus Poppaedius then mounted on a spear to be paraded before the cheering Marsi army and this was simply too much for Rome to bear. Now absolutely no one had any doubt that this was a real war and the stakes were as high as they could possibly be. Marius was immediately given complete control of the northern theatre and the men who cowered in the Senate had to admit that he was still the best leader Rome had; now even his enemies wanted him to defend them.

  As each day passed Marius grew stronger, looked younger and felt more alive. War was good for him the Senate was too slow fighting was not a democratic procedure he was in charge and he possessed complete unshakeable confidence in his own ability to command an army and win great victories in battle.

  With the help of his 20-year-old son Marius worked hard on repairing his stroke-damaged body regaining most of the feeling in his leg and arm. His face still hung limp on one side affecting his speech slightly but his mind was always razor sharp.

  After playing cat and mouse for many months following the death of Caepio, Marius caught the Marsi in a perfect trap. His losses were small in comparison with the 15 000 Marsi dead and 5000 captured. Their best legions were beaten and a very damaging psychological blow had been struck against the Italians.

  The evening after his victory Marius supped with his officers to celebrate the battle and while laying on their couches each told stories of valor whilst eating wonderful food and drinking vast quantities of wine.

  The talking laughing and even singing went on late into the night and at the time of the explosion in his brain none of the men who would have gladly given their life to save his even knew that Marius was in danger. The second stroke came when everyone was too drunk to notice, all of his officers were laying in a stupor and looked to be in exactly the same condition as their beloved General.

  They found him in the morning laying exactly as he had the night before. Realizing what had happened the senior legate sent for the physicians but the best the armies of Rome had to offer could do nothing to cure his condition. They could stem battlefield bleeding from an artery after amputating mangled legs and arms but a malady of the brain was completely beyond their field of expertise. Other than making him comfortable the surgeons could do Marius no discernible good so he was returned to Rome for more specialized care.

  His soldiers cried when they heard the news, openly weeping without shame. They all knew that Marius was not just their best hope of survival he was the best hope for the survival of Roman civilization.

  Lying on his back in a wagon drawn by four horses Marius was escorted by his proud cavalry. They all desperately wanted to reduce his discomfort by wrapping him in blankets and moving slowly but despite their best efforts his journey could be nothing other than a miserable one.

  Gaius Marius the Younger or Young Gaius as he was known collapsed in grief and shock when given the news of his father’s stroke and a terrible sadness befell him as he rode his horse slowly at the side of the wagon. His head bowed; his face expressionless and his mind deep in lamenting thought Young Gaius contemplated Rome’s misfortune as his father bounced his way home.

  When they reached the city most of the people turned out to welcome Marius home and while still lying on his back he traveled through the streets in the spontaneously decorated wagon. The people removed the horses and pulled it themselves as a sign of respect. They were happy because of the victory over the Marsi but sad because the war was by no means over and the one leader that everybody had complete faith in was no longer in the field of battle.

  Marius could hear the cheering but was unable to see the gathering because his eyes looked directly upwards. Young Gaius rode in the wagon with him in order to keep his face clear of the flowers being cast into the wagon in their thousand. Fighting back tears the boy took it upon himself to deliver a commentary of the events unfolding around them, ‘everyone has come on to the streets to greet you father,’ he said but the only people Marius could see were the one’s standing on the roofs of the buildings. He felt completely let down by his body this was no way for a man such as him to be seen.

  The people who cried and lamented his misfortune loved him completely but they were not great like Marius. In times of war mere mortals need a functioning hero and within days they found a willing one in Sulla. His less prestigious southern theatre of the war became the most active in the second year and as always he gave a brilliant account of himself.

  As with all wars this one was devastating and went on for far too long. Most armies surrender when defeat is inevitable but the Italians were fighting for their homes in their homeland. Each man knew what would happen to him and his family in return for rebelling against their benefactor. They had absolutely nowhere else to go and with no incentive to surrender they fought to their deaths taking far too many Roman soldiers with them. Even after defeat was inevitable the tribes kept sending their able-bodied men against a very angry Roman war machine.

  Things became even more vicious as the physically hardened but mentally worn-out Roman armies moved through the countryside. They found in far too many towns that the Roman population of merchants, landowners, governors and the much hated tax collectors had been mercilessly killed along with their families. Roman men, women and children put to the sword, burned alive, or worse.

  Not just individuals but whole towns were put on trial for their mistreatment of Roman citizens. Military leaders had jurisdiction on the field of battle and they passed sentences on the spot. In the towns which committed the most horrendous atrocities entire populations were put to death. Other townsfolk were banished and made to wander the countryside. People without a homeland cast out with no food or water. All of their valuable possessions confiscated and their homes and other belongings burned to the ground before their eyes. Women were raped by legionaries with the approval of their officers, it was time for retribution and Rome was a past master at administering that. Many pathetic refugees eventually died of starvation many more traveled throughout the empire trying to start new lives wherever they could. They were all of them forever more known as traitors and none of them would ever be forgiven by Rome.

  War’s End

  Taking leave from their legions at the war’s end young officers made all haste for Rome. They could not stay for long as most of them had been posted for service throughout the Republic because while Rome had been busy with domestic problems some of the dissident countries under their charge had used the Marsic War as an opportunity to rebel. Many had stopped paying tribute to Rome and because most of the legions had been recalled to Italy to fight the domestic war, tax evaders and in a few cases rebellions had gone largely unpunished. Battle hardened Roman armies were now on their way to the four corners of the Roman world to teach them all another lesson. They were going to make more terrible examples of these ungrateful perpetrators of insurrection but before they departed the young officers were determined to enjoy a few weeks of fun in their capital.

  The people of Rome loved soldiers at
this moment they all knew that at the very least they had been saved from a very violent occupation. The Italian tribes may even have sacked the city just as the wild men from Gaul had done nearly 300 years before and they felt a debt of gratitude to every young man who had fought on their behalf.

  The atrocities committed in the countryside had driven many refugees into the city which now housed over a million people and some suburbs of Rome were becoming overcrowded and very dangerous. In the poorer areas people were crammed into every available space and lived as best they could. With this extra population came social problems such as unemployment, food shortages, disease and inevitably violent crime. The problem of feeding the extra mouths was compounded by the fact that much of the food that once fed them had came from Italy and many of the refugees were the very people who had managed that food production. Most of the productive land now lay in waste and the peasants who worked the land were disorganized, dead, or banished.

  Despite the tax increases and food shortages all of the people felt happy. The war had been won and they understood that liberty came at a price. They smiled at young officers as they passed because it was better to be hungry in an overcrowded city and paying inflated taxes than dead or enslaved.

  Taking advantage of the mood in Rome all of the young officers wore their dress uniforms. Showing off their battle honors they were an impressive group of young men with well-proportioned bodies who looked every inch the Roman aristocrats they were about to become. Every door was open to the young men who showed off their leather, gold and silver breastplates formed to fit their shape by the finest craftsmen.

  Like all Romans they spent hours at the baths each day steaming and receiving various kinds of massage. Then there were the endless rounds of dinner parties arranged in their honor. They were after all very eligible bachelors and many patrician families were parading their daughters in front of them in an attempt to bring one of them along with any wealth and status they may possess into their families. The young officers enjoyed the adoration of young women and many marriages were brokered during the heady weeks after the victory, but in all of the revelry there was one sad and lonely person who would never be introduced to young men or carouse in the streets.

  The first quarter of the war had been a completely grey area for Julia as she drifted through a pain-filled depression of terrible proportions. It was not a physical pain but a mental anguish that seemed to have no fathomable depth, no sides to grasp onto, or a horizon from which to take a bearing. It was all encompassing, mind-wrenching agony that could not be discarded or forgotten and as her sad and lonely journey progressed Julia’s mind began its inevitable change. Like the caterpillars she had watched changing to moths in the olive groves Julia spun a protective cocoon of thoughts in which she hid from the endless sorrow of living.

  Things started to become clearer when seen from within her pain-filled isolation, the world was a bad place and all anyone could expect to do was survive. Her conclusion took its direction from all of the experiences that made up her pathetic life and based on that information the inescapable course of action was to build a wall around her mind and never let anyone in ever again.

  Bathing her every day for a seemingly endless first six months of the war Cecilia could see that Julia was facing a bigger demon than unrequited love, she simply had no confidence or belief in herself. Cecilia like everyone else understood that people who looked pleasing to the eye had a much easier time than plain people but Julia possessed none of the certainty that a girl with great beauty usually had. Never really knowing quite what effect her therapy was having Cecilia instinctively lavished love and affection on the spent girl by repeating over and over how beautiful and intelligent she was.

  Without understanding the meaning of Cecilia’s words the rhythmic voice was always there like a distant star that could be seen from within Julia’s endless turmoil. However far she drifted off course during that journey of the mind this star was always there to give her a connection with reality and Julia owed her sanity to this single act of commonsense. At first she did not understand the changes caused by something positive moving freely through her unconscious thoughts because her crushed mind found them alien, even a little frightening but as time went by she began to enjoy the warm emotions which slowly brought her back from a dark oblivion.

  Much relieved Cecilia encouraged Julia to talk about her troubles and while crying often the latter released some of her deeply held pain. It was ridiculous to imagine that a thought converted into speech then returned to her memory could be any different but the reality was that these uncomfortable thoughts became easier for Julia to bear. In her heart she believed it to be silly nonsense, all in her imagination but she could not deny that she felt stronger every time she transformed a childhood hurt from the secrecy of her mind into words.

  For the latter half of the first year of the war and all of the second Cecilia and Julia spent each morning following the news of the fighting and during this time they became inseparable. Other than self preservation the topic of war held no fascination for Cecilia but it did seem to aid Julia’s recovery so she persevered. It somehow gave Julia’s fragile mind something constant to focus upon, and Cecilia perceived correctly that following a specific subject gave Julia’s troubled mind a focal point from which to grow.

  As a by-product of this mental exercise Julia became an expert on the subject of war and while reading about every intricate strategy of every battle she learned about the Italian provinces where the major conflicts had taken place. Julia had even marked them on one of Sulla’s old military maps which Cecilia hung on the kitchen wall at the beginning of the hostilities, she also followed the Senatorial reports which were posted around the city each day and Julia felt intimately involved with every twist and turn of the armies of Marius in the north and Sulla in the south. Like everyone in Rome Julia cried when the news of Marius’ stroke reached the city but unlike everyone else she did not switch her adoration to Sulla, a strange state of affairs when one considers that he was her sole benefactor.

  By the end of the war Julia was acting like a more confident person able to maintain stability for minutes, sometimes hours. She desperately wanted to believe Cecilia when she told her that she was a beautiful person with much to offer but invariably slid back into her insecure state of mind after even the most fleeting of negative thoughts. Julia’s situation was akin to changing a devout person’s religious belief. After a lifetime of worshiping the same Gods, one can argue with the believer, one can tell them that their faith is wrong even that their Gods do not exist. The believer may even try to see your point of view but deep down they just instinctively know that you’re wrong. Julia’s misguided neuroses had reached this category of a faith and was far too deeply held to be changed by a well-meaning house slave like Cecilia.

  Much to Cecilia’s frustration telling Julia that she was extremely intelligent was just as futile. She simply believed deep in her core that she wasn’t bright because her parents had conditioned her to think that way. Cecilia refused to believe Julia when she said that she felt ugly and stupid, how could she? Her eyes did not lie, she had spent months caring for her wonderfully well-formed body with its clear, soft skin, Julia possessed beauty without comparison and a remarkable ability to learn, it was all irrefutable evidence and Cecilia never gave up trying to convince the girl she had grown to love like a daughter.

  By way of humoring Cecilia, Julia developed a persona of pretence and inevitably her clever but warped mind took the next step. It dawned on her that if she could fool someone as close as Cecilia she may also be able to fool others into believing that she had worth. This idea grew into a distorted plan and Julia’s new life began with this major flaw as its basis. Leaving Sulla’s home for the first time in many months she set off to test her warped theory.

  Calpurnius the jeweler was happy to see Julia return after such a long absence. He had been wondering if the war harmed her in some way but now she was coming
back to his shop each day to spend time with the “lions” she still worshiped. He noticed the change in her, there was a confidence which had not existed before and something else, something he could only describe as a hunger. Before the war she was content with trying on her favorite piece but now she spoke constantly about the day she would be able to purchase her “lions”. Calpurnius did not know it but Julia’s growing obsession was born of her inability to accept herself as an impoverished, parentless concubine. She now craved security which in her damaged mind translated to wealth and possessions.

  “Everything will be fine when I have enough money to buy my ‘lions’ I will be happy then,” she told Calpurnius. He wondered where a humble housemaid was going to get such a large amount of money but as always he humored Julia because he enjoyed trying to sell jewelry to the men who came into get a closer look at her beauty.

  With growing strength Julia began using her more frequent shopping trips to build her confidence by talking to everyone she met. Whenever possible she engaged the refugees who had fled Italy during the war in long conversations. There were so many of them each with a tragic story to tell and Julia drained them all of any information that may be useful.