Suddenly a Father

by Michelle Major

  She dug deep and managed to produce a sunny smile. “Mrs. Bradley, are you on vacation?” She gave a laugh that sounded forced even to her own ears. “I’m happy you looked me up but I don’t know—”

  “It’s about Daniel Blaine.” Karen’s eyes flicked to Jake. “Are you sure you don’t want to speak about this alone?”

  Millie was certain she didn’t want to speak about Daniel Blaine at all. “I don’t know what there’s left to say. Two sides of the story and all that. I learned an important lesson so—”

  “Two other women have come forward and made accusations about his inappropriate advances.”

  “Oh.”

  “Inappropriate advances,” Jake repeated. “What is that about?” He turned to Millie. “Did some man hurt you, Millie?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t think...” She glanced at Karen Bradley. The woman studied her with a mix of understanding and sympathy. “I think Mrs. Bradley and I do need a few minutes. Jake, I’ll lock up here and meet you back at the house.” She kept her gaze trained on the floor.

  “Are you sure? I can stay or call Olivia if you need support.” He reached out for her but she shrugged away.

  “I’m on her side,” she heard Karen say.

  She watched Jake begin to walk away but didn’t hear his response through the roaring in her ears. After a few moments, she sank down into the child-sized chair once more. “Why did you come here to tell me this?”

  Karen remained standing. “Several reasons. You were put on academic probation because of the incident between you and Daniel.”

  “Because no one believed me,” Millie said on a hiss of breath. Anger and humiliation washed over her as she thought of that time.

  “I’m sorry.” Karen lowered herself to the edge of the table. “I’m here to apologize and make things right with you.” She paused then added, “We also need you to come back and make a formal statement. Testify, if necessary.”

  Millie lifted her head. “Come back?”

  Karen nodded. “We need you, Millie.”

  * * *

  It was close to seven before Millie returned to Jake’s house. After her conversation with Karen, she’d walked the streets of Crimson. In her short time here, she’d come to love this tiny town. She passed the older section, with houses in neat rows, and imagined settlers who had founded Crimson making their way over the mountains to begin a new life. They were people of great strength who had tamed these wild lands. She knew some had come for the chance of striking gold and making their fortune, but others came for a fresh start.

  She understood why. The mountains could be grounding, inspiring and humbling all at the same time. She could imagine a place in this community, but her conversation with Karen Bradley had been a reminder that Crimson wasn’t her home.

  It had been so easy to leave the past behind, to ignore it in place of pretending that she was a clean slate. But that wasn’t the case, and she couldn’t move forward without dealing with everything that had come before.

  Jake was just reading Brooke a story when Millie got to the house.

  “Do you have time for a good-night song, Brookie-Cookie?” Millie asked from the girl’s bedroom door.

  “Millie!” Brooke held open her arms, and Millie came forward to give her a hug, breathing in the smell of her watermelon shampoo and clean soapy skin.

  She loved this little girl, just as she loved Brooke’s father.

  The realization, while not new, came as a shock just the same. She couldn’t make eye contact with Jake, who rose from the bed when she sat down.

  “Night, sweetie,” he said, bending forward to ruffle Brooke’s hair. He placed a soft kiss on top of the girl’s head. Millie remembered that first day at the house when Jake had seemed almost afraid to touch his daughter. He’d come so far. She wanted to beg him not to give up now.

  With Brooke tucked into bed, Millie made her way back to the center of the house. Jake sat on the couch, the end-table light the only thing illuminating the large family room.

  “Thanks for taking care of things,” she said. “I didn’t mean to leave you on your own for the whole night.”

  He pierced her with his gaze. “Come here, Millie.”

  “I’m pretty tired. Long day, you know.”

  “I know we need to talk about what that woman said to you.”

  Millie paused and tried to look casual. “It’s fine. Misunderstanding. We got it all worked out.”

  “Does Olivia know?”

  “Nothing happened,” Millie answered, unable to keep the edge out of her voice.

  “If you don’t come and explain it to me, I’m going to call your sister.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “I don’t care what you call it. I want to know what happened to you.”

  Millie knew he wasn’t going to give up. As much as she didn’t want to talk about this, it would be easier with Jake than Olivia. Her sister had a protective streak a mile long and Millie figured she’d never hear the end of it if Olivia got involved.

  She sat gingerly on the edge of the couch, not trusting herself to be too close to Jake.

  “I promise it’s not a big deal. There was a little trouble with the principal at the elementary school where I interned. It’s fine now.”

  “Did he hurt you?” Jake’s voice was soft but laced with ice.

  “No.” She took a breath. “Not really. He was so helpful and supportive when I started. We were friends and he was like a mentor to me. We got close, but he misinterpreted how close I wanted to be.”

  “What did he do?”

  She flicked her fingers. “He got a little handsy, you know.”

  “I don’t know. Explain it.”

  Millie felt as if she was being interrogated and crossed her arms over her chest, not liking what the situation revealed about her and her weakness. “He tried to kiss me, made it clear that he wanted our relationship—if that’s what you could call it—to go to the next level.”

  “A level that involved sex?”

  Jake’s bluntness made her wince. “He said that my reference letter was tied to how I performed in all aspects of the job.”

  “Sexual harassment.”

  “We’d gone out for drinks. I liked him—not like that but I thought I could trust him. He was married, with kids, and had a great reputation at the college. His school staff loved him. He said I’d given him mixed signals and I couldn’t be trusted with dads. That I’d be a dangerous teacher because I made men want me. He told me no one would trust me with their children.” Saying the words out loud made the humiliation burn hot and bright in her throat once again.

  “You know that’s crap, right?”

  “I do now. But...” Her voice trailed off.

  “But what?”

  She made herself look him in the eye, despite her embarrassment. “But that’s how my mom managed her life. Not that she wasn’t faithful to my father. She was. But whether it was him or the mechanic or the landlord, she would bat her eyes and smooth talk the men in her life into helping her and taking care of whatever needed fixing. It was an art form for her and one of the few things she tried to teach me when I was growing up.”

  She took a breath. “She told me it’s where my power came from, but I watched her give hers away every time she made herself into nothing more than an object for those men. I vowed never to live my life that way. Sometimes I think I have too much of her in me, that I can’t help myself.”

  Shifting on the sofa, she ran her fingers along a seam on one of the cushions. “That’s what Daniel Blaine told the people at the university. I was so embarrassed I didn’t mention it to anyone. But he was afraid I would, so he beat me to it. He went to the academic board and my adviser—Karen Bradley—and sai
d that I’d come on to him. Of course I denied it but the damage was already done.”

  “They believed him?”

  “Most of them did. Karen had doubts, but there wasn’t anything she could do.”

  “She could have stood up for you.”

  Millie shrugged. “She did her best. I was close to being expelled. She made sure I only got academic probation for a semester.” Millie hated that her eyes filled with tears. “I’d put all of my money into school and it left me at loose ends. So I came here. Olivia had been so nice when we met, but she doesn’t owe me anything. I don’t want her involved in cleaning up my mess.”

  “She loves you, Millie. She’s your sister.”

  “My mom loves me, too. That didn’t mean she had my best interest at heart. I love being in Crimson. But Karen wants me to go back to California. Daniel accosted two other student teachers. It went pretty far with one of them.” She shook her head. “If only they’d believed me, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. If I was more reliable, if I looked like someone who wouldn’t get into that kind of trouble.” She gave a watery laugh. “Heck, if I looked like Olivia, the situation would have ended a different way.”

  “It isn’t your fault.” Jake stood then moved to sit next to her. He took her hands in his. She felt her fingers shaking, but somehow didn’t mind Jake seeing her so vulnerable. “You can’t blame yourself because some guy took advantage of you.”

  “If I hadn’t—”

  “Enough. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  She couldn’t remember ever wanting to lean on someone the way she did Jake. It felt totally right when he pulled her into his lap. His hand came around her neck, slowly massaging the muscles there. With a sigh, she let her cheek drop to his shoulder. They stayed that way for several minutes, Jake’s strong presence relaxing her.

  “What happens next?” he asked quietly.

  She thought about that for a while before speaking. “I go back.”

  “When?” She felt him tense beneath her. “For how long?”

  “I won’t leave you and Brooke in a lurch. Karen wants me to fly to California next week to make a formal statement. It will only take a day. I’ve already called Olivia and she can help out with Brooke while I’m away. I made a commitment and I’ll honor that.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  “I ran away, Jake.” She burrowed into his shoulder. “I should have fought harder to have them believe me. I should have fought Daniel more. I want to be a teacher. I think I’d be good at it.”

  “You’ll be an amazing teacher, Millie. Anyone can see that.”

  “Just like you’re turning into a great father.”

  He gave a small laugh. “Nice change of topic. But this time it’s about you.”

  “It’s about us both.” She drew in another breath and met his gaze. “We’re in limbo together.”

  “It’s a limbo, then?”

  “You know what I mean. Each of us is trying to figure out what’s next. You with Brooke, and me with another chance to finish my education.”

  “In California,” he supplied.

  “For a time, yes.”

  He didn’t respond to that, only continued to look at her with a gaze that warmed her to her toes. She was wrapped in Jake’s embrace, the silence of the house creating what felt like a cocoon for the two of them. At this moment, she didn’t want to think about the future or what would happen—or not—between them. She only wanted to be here, now, with him.

  She leaned forward and touched her tongue to the seam of his lips.

  “Millie,” he whispered. “You don’t have to do this. You’ve been through a lot today.”

  “I want this.” She nipped at the corner of his mouth. “I want you.”

  He slanted his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss. It told her that he felt the same and even more. Without words, he told her everything she needed to know.

  His hands moved on her skin, and desire built in her.

  “I want you in my bed. Beneath me, on top of me, any way you’ll have me.”

  She knew those were only love words. He couldn’t really mean them because what she wanted was his whole heart. She didn’t believe Jake was ready for that.

  She untangled from his embrace and stood. Disappointment flashed across his face until she reached out her hand to him. “Stay with me.”

  The request almost felt silly since they’d lived under the same roof for nearly a month now, but he laced his fingers with hers as if he might understand her unspoken desire. He followed her to her bedroom and they undressed each other slowly, discovering the intricacies of each other’s bodies as they whispered words of need and want.

  When they lay wrapped together a long time later, Millie felt Jake begin to drift to sleep then tense. “I should go back to my room,” he said, kissing the tip of her nose.

  “In the morning,” she whispered, snuggling deeper into him.

  When he remained rigid, she clasped her hands on either side of his head. “You can trust yourself with me.”

  His features gentled and he kissed her again. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”

  “I know you.”

  “The nightmares come when I’m deep in sleep, Millie. If I’m here with you and I strike out, I could hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me, Jake.” She traced the skin under his eyes. “When was the last time you had a decent night’s sleep? I’ve seen your phone. You set the alarm to go off every hour in the night. That isn’t restful.”

  He shrugged. “If I wake myself up at regular intervals, the dreams don’t seem to come. That’s what I always do, but I’m not sure I can manage it in your room. It’s worth it not to disturb Brooke. I don’t want her to be scared of me. I remember what that was like.”

  “Your father was a horrible man. That’s not who you are.”

  He eased away from her. “It’s still better this way.”

  “No.” She drew him back against her. “Try it tonight, Jake. I’m a light sleeper. If you get agitated, I’ll move away.”

  “You’re so precious, Millie.” He stared at her, as if trying to solve a puzzle, then took a short breath and relaxed onto his back, moving her so she lay sprawled across his chest. “You go to sleep. I’ll stay here until you are.”

  She knew this was an argument she wouldn’t win, so she agreed. But several minutes later, she felt his breathing turn regular and she knew he’d succumbed to exhaustion. Millie lay there several more minutes, savoring his warmth around her. Soon her own eyes drifted shut, and she didn’t fight that, either.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jake woke in the early morning more rested than he’d felt in months. He hadn’t left Millie’s bed, but no bad dreams had plagued him. He’d held her tight against him, his own personal security blanket. As she’d promised, her warm presence had kept the nightmares at bay.

  He leaned forward to kiss her neck. She sighed and smiled, turning until she was facing him. Her eyes didn’t open but she brought her arms around him, drawing him in for a passionate kiss then deep inside her, their lovemaking slow and sweet.

  When he finally left her bed, he put more ice on his hand, then walked quietly back to his side of the house before Brooke woke. He felt normal, which was something new for him. It was something he could get used to.

  He’d taken on an extra shift at the clinic today, so when Brooke wasn’t looking he gave Millie a quick kiss then said goodbye to his daughter.

  “Why do you have to leave, Daddy?” Brooke asked, turning those big blue eyes on him.

  “I’m only going to work, Brookie-Cookie. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “You work too much,” she complained. “Mommy did, too, and then she died.”

  “I’m no
t going to die,” he answered after a startled moment. “You’ve been to the hospital. You know it’s safe there.”

  Brooke stomped her foot. “I don’t want you to go. What if you don’t come back?”

  He glanced to Millie for some relief, but she gave him a small shake of her head. He was on his own. Great.

  He bent lower to look into his daughter’s eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to me, Brooke.”

  “What if it does?”

  “It won’t.”

  “But what if—”

  “Enough.” He stood and drew in a breath. His daughter’s sweet chin trembled as she watched him. He’d raised his voice, and suddenly he was transported back to his own childhood, to being afraid to ever speak, never knowing what kind of response he was going to get from his father, whose mercurial moods could change in an instant.

  “I promise I’ll be back,” he said, gentling his tone. He wasn’t used to having his schedule questioned. Normally he could go wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. No one bothered to care. Things were different now, he knew, but it was an adjustment. “You have preschool. I have work. It will be okay.” He felt out of his element but he bent and picked up his daughter. “I love you, Brooke.” He realized it was the first time he’d said the words out loud.

  She gave him a small smile. “Love you, too, Daddy.” He breathed in her sweet scent, layered with a little bit of syrup after this morning’s pancake breakfast.

  Dropping from his embrace, she started toward her bedroom. “I’m going to get dressed. Millie, will you make my hair in braids?”

  “Sure thing.” As Millie walked past him, she brushed another kiss on his cheek. “You’re a good man, Jake Travers.”

  Her belief in him made Jake feel as if he’d just won the lottery. When he got to the hospital, Vincent called him into his office and made a formal offer of employment. Jake had guessed it was coming and hadn’t known how he’d feel about truly settling down. Then he remembered the way his daughter’s eyes had lit up when he’d told her he loved her and how much she wanted him as a part of her life.